Surviving A Novel I Don't Remember: A Tutor's Guide To Staying Alive Chapter 96: I’ve Known All Along

Julian took a mont to process what he had just heard.

So, it wasn’t a legendary confession, but a super legendary confession.

He almost didn’t know where this was going until the Duke said that last part.

He was scared; scared that Julian would see the kind of cruel things he did, and was about to do, and fear him. And once he feared him, he would run away.

Because a man who is violent to others is a dangerous man. And Julian may not want to be next to a dangerous man.

The Duke clenched his interlocked fingers, waiting for a response from Julian, but none ca.

He was running the math, doing the numbers, and calculating possibilities.

And by possibilities, he was thinking of how likely it would be for him to be the Duke’s next target.

With an affection level that high, it was highly unlikely.

"Julian," the Duke called again. "I’ve been a horrible father to Lucius all his life, and I’ve done a lot of irredeemable acts. The blood on my hands from many years ago cannot be washed away simply because there was a ’reason’ behind it. And I don’t think I want to wash it away. Because as long as there is a ’reason’ to fight, I will continue to spill as much blood as they co."

Julian gulped. That sounded dangerous. Very... but why did hearing the Duke talk so cruelly bring him a sense of safety?

Maybe it was because, deep down, he knew that the ’reason’ the Duke might have to spill blood was because of him.

’This... this is unhealthy,’ he thought, but his heart wouldn’t stop racing, and his cheeks were beginning to burn up.

It was at this point that he knew he couldn’t deny it anymore.

This wasn’t just feeling entitled or relieved to have a savior or backer; it was the feeling of finding soone who would go to the ends of the world on his behalf... It was the feeling that made him acknowledge he was soone special, soone irreplaceable to the Duke.

And that realization made him strip away his denial.

’ too,’ he thought. ’I, too, will do whatever it takes to make sure you are safe. I cannot be the only one getting protected. I cannot be the only one gaining on the side. I will do whatever I can, even if it ans trading my blood and sweat.’

He clenched the sheets.

"Ju—"

"Your Grace," Julian interrupted him, and his eyes flickered. "Please, do not go down a dangerous path because of ."

His heart was thumping, and his mind was fuzzy with this newfound realization, but he could not let it cloud his rational thinking.

His goal, first and foremost, was to survive. And if he could find a way for them all to survive this novel ending together, then he would use that way.

"Even if there is a reason, if you find another way where you don’t have to resort to bloodshed, please take it. Do not be seen as a monster... because of ."

The Duke’s heart thumped, a very familiar and yet unfamiliar sensation filling his chest.

"Julian," he called, dropping his head on his interlocked fingers, unable to look Julian in the eye as he said this. "I care about you."

That goes without saying. There was no way Julian wouldn’t notice, but noticing the actions and hearing the words themselves were two different things.

Julian’s heart blood.

"I know, your Grace," he whispered. "I’ve known all along."

"You did?"

"Is there anyone who hasn’t noticed?" Julian asked, a small smile playing on his lips. "You treat so well, you take care of , and even do the things a Lord shouldn’t do. It’s not different from how a man would take care of his sick lov—" he paused.

Those words were not supposed to co out of his mouth, and sohow they did.

He quickly looked at the Duke’s face, scouring for his reaction, and sure enough, the Duke was blushing.

How was it that a huge, tanned man could blush like a teenager after discovering he had been found out?

"In any case, your care is without doubt warm," Julian said. "And I thank you for that, Your Grace."

"Yeah," the Duke muttered, but still refused to look Julian in the eye. "Julian,"

"Yes, Your Grace."

"Do you fear ?"

"No, Your Grace."

"Do I seem cruel? Am I a bad person?"

"Part yes and no, Your Grace."

"How so?" He asked, and Julian closed his eyes.

"You neglected Lucius and blad him for your late wife’s death. That makes you a bad person. But, you owned up to your mistake, though it doesn’t wipe away the years of neglect and pain the child has gone through." He closed his eyes and looked at the Duke with a warm smile. "As long as you’re willing to change and make up for all of it, that makes you a good person."

The Duke’s heart raced. He could not see the smile on Julian’s lips, but he could feel it. He could feel that glow spreading all over him and making his heart tight, ready to burst.

"What about you?" He asked, rolling his eyes to take a peek. "Am I a bad person to you?"

Julian laughed.

"That’s impossible. From the start to now, you’ve only been a good person to ."

That was the truth. Though their first eting was a bit rough, the Duke had not been rough with him.

He even spread his arms to catch him, a complete stranger to cushion his fall.

He was never a bad person to Julian, in the ti he did not know him, in the ti he was still drowning in his wife’s death anniversary, and even after that.

"Then," The Duke finally lifted his head after the little back-and-forth interrogation and looked into Julian’s mismatched eyes, twinkling with curiosity as to what he would say next. "Will you hate for what I am about to do?"

"What will you do?" Julian asked, but as soon as those words left his mouth, he already had a feeling about what the Duke was planning to do.

The Duke got up from his chair, his movent slow and deliberate, and then hovered over Julian, his wild golden locks spilling over Julian’s face, and Julian looked into the eyes of this man.

The warm glow of the fireplace was everything he needed to see the kind of feelings this man had for him, deeply drawn in his eyes.

"Your Grace?" Julian called, his voice coming out in no more than a whisper.

"Julian," the Duke called back, his own voice filling the space between them, and then he leaned down. "You don’t have to forgive for this," he said, "but just don’t hate ."

And with that, he leaned down even more until his lips t Julian’s, brushing lightly at first as if scared that if he simply just crashed them together, the little thing holding Julian together would crack and then shatter.

He did not want that. Rather, he wanted Julian to feel his sincerity... through this kiss.