Yan Cijin could accept caution. She could accept tiredness too. What she could not help doing was thinking about whether Bai Li had eaten enough, whether her hand was hurting too much, whether she had properly taken the dicine, whether the people outside had bothered her again. The world had changed into sothing that made people hold onto each other more tightly, and Yan Cijin could feel that in her own chest. She was not the kind of person who could pretend not to care just because she had a lot of things to do. If Bai Li was injured, Yan Cijin wanted to know. If Bai Li was tired, Yan Cijin wanted to help. If Bai Li was sitting alone in a room pretending she was fine, Yan Cijin wanted to go knock on her door and make her eat sothing warm. That was just how it was now.
Lili noticed the small silence that had settled over the adults and imdiately lifted her head with her own little sense of timing. "Mommy," she said, "can I have more at?" Yan Cijin looked at her at once and nodded, then picked up the bowl and added a little more of the stir fried pork and green beans. "Of course you can. But you have to eat the rice too." Lili nodded very seriously, as if this was a big task she intended to complete with care. Yan Laojin looked at them and gave a small amused shake of her head. "You spoil her too much." Yan Cijin smiled without even denying it. "She is my daughter. Of course I spoil her." The little girl heard that and smiled so widely her eyes almost disappeared. She reached out and touched Yan Cijin’s sleeve with sticky little fingers, then leaned in and gave her mother a soft silly grin. "Mommy is the best," she said. Yan Cijin’s heart felt warm enough to soften almost anything. In tis like this, with the outside world breaking and people showing their worst sides, a child’s pure trust felt almost sacred. Yan Cijin looked down at Lili and brushed her hair back from her forehead. "You are the best too," she said quietly. "You just keep getting cuter every ti I look at you." Lili let out a giggle and ducked her head with fake shyness, which made Yan Laojin laugh too. The whole room eased into a softer kind of rhythm, one that felt like ho.
After the al, the table was left with half empty bowls, a bit of sauce, and the warm sll of food that still lingered in the air. Yan Cijin helped gather the dishes while Yan Laojin cleaned up the little one’s chair. Lili wanted to help too, but since she was still small, her version of helping mostly ant standing nearby and trying to carry a spoon twice her size. Yan Cijin let her do that for a mont before taking it back with a smile. "You can help by going to sit down and playing with your teddy bear," she said. Lili looked a little disappointed at first, then nodded because she was used to listening to her mother. "Okay," she said, then padded over to the sofa with her small steps and climbed up with all the seriousness of a tiny person on an important mission. Yan Cijin watched her go and felt that ordinary little things like this were sohow more precious now than ever. A child sitting on the sofa with a stuffed toy. A mother washing bowls in the kitchen. Steam from a pot of water. The sound of a spoon tapping a dish. These were the kinds of things that made the world worth keeping together. Even if monsters were outside. Even if the building group chat had beco ugly. Even if Bai Li was on the other side of the building recovering from a hand injury and probably trying not to be bothered. This small dostic scene felt like a fragile light. Yan Cijin knew better than to take it for granted.
A little later, when the dishes were washed and the kitchen was tidied, Yan Cijin finally sat down with her phone again. She looked once more at Bai Li’s contact and at the chat history, and then at the group ssages that had already beco more chaotic. She did not send anything yet. She just sat there for a mont, thinking about how she would ask again, how she would word it if Bai Li still did not answer by evening. She thought of Bai Li’s face, calm and sowhat distant when she had left the door, and wondered if she had seed too formal. Maybe Bai Li was just one of those people who did not know how to receive kindness easily. Yan Cijin could understand that. So people had been alone for too long. So people got used to handling everything themselves. It did not an they did not want company. It only ant they did not know how to accept it without feeling uneasy. Yan Cijin had seen enough in Bai Li to know there was more there than just coldness. Bai Li had shown her concern in a thousand tiny ways, often without saying much at all. That was enough for Yan Cijin to keep believing in her. So if Bai Li stayed quiet for a while, Yan Cijin would wait. And if waiting was not enough, she would knock again.
Lili was now sitting with her teddy bear, whispering sothing to it in a tiny voice while Yan Laojin watched from the kitchen doorway with a smile. The apartnt felt peaceful again, and Yan Cijin looked around the room with that soft feeling of family close around her. She knew the world had not gotten better just because they had a warm lunch. The monsters were still outside. The residents in the building were still arguing. Bai Li was still dealing with her own things across the hall.
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TO BE CONTINUED,
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