I raised my hands in surrender, "Look. I think there's been a big misunderstanding here. I swear on the na of Gramps that I won't do anything to either of you!"
Ygdran looked hopeful at my words, but Juniper's scorn remained. Clearly, the plant lady didn't believe at all.
"I don't believe you; there have been zero positive interactions with [Dungeon Masters] and you [Experints]!" she stated firmly.
"Really? I thought Simon and I were pretty amiable," I replied in genuine surprise.
"You know Simon?" Juniper asked curiously.
anwhile, it looked like Ygdran had co to a realization as his expression widened to the extre.
"It's the elf sli shapeshifter!" Ygdran cried out in utter horror. "It's changed its na to fool us! Simon and Vat'el warned us!"
"You fiend! You're pretending to be innocent when you're one of the main perpetrators!" Juniper accused.
I sighed, "I really thought and Simon had an understanding… or is he still bitter that I didn't evolve into an alchemical sli to help his research?"
"I'll admit that does sound like sothing Simon would do," Juniper reluctantly agreed. "But what you did to Vat'el is inexcusable. Threatening and extortion while using overwhelming firepower. You even brought a group of adventurers to do the dirty work for you!"
"Oh, was Vat'el the mutation dungeon?" I asked.
"So you admit it?" Juniper snapped. Ygdran began softly sobbing again.
"Look, I earned my [Dungeoneer] Emblem fair and square," I retorted. "That dungeon started throwing all sorts of exploitative monsters at us and stretched the dungeon the beyond fairness. My party was happy for the extra rewards which they deserved for going through all that shit. I offered a peace deal, which I didn't have to do, that I got a single orange sli, then I'd remove the Emblem."
"Go Syl! Show them that boss elf princess energy!" Vee cheered.
Juniper shrank back a bit, "Vat'el didn't ntion that…"
"Big sis, don't let them get to you!" Ygdran shouted encouragent between sniffles. "This one is clearly a master manipulator! She's even convinced all the elves she's actually one of their own."
"No, I have an agreent with the Feirelle branch, which you're ruining!" I shouted back.
Ygdran flinched, his face almost retreating back into the tree it had ford.
"Don't you dare bully him! I'll crush you both!" Juniper threatened.
Plants proliferated throughout the room until it beca a living snare of twisted greenery. Thick vines with thorny spines that glistened with a toxic sheen coiled down from the ceiling like serpents.
Along the walls, clusters of deadly nightshade blood in shadows, their purple flowers masking a poisonous intent. A mass of razor-sharp grass carpeted the floor, its bladed leaves slicing at anything that moved too quickly.
Pitcher plants hung heavy from overhead beams, their waxy mouths yawning open, releasing the faint, sweet stench of decay. A pair of venus flytraps sprouted and twitched in response to the slightest movent, their spiked jaws stained with sothing dark.
The room pulsed with an eerie and predatory rhythm, yet nothing motioned to attack Vee or . As if it were all waiting for us to make the first move.
"Why haven't they attacked us?" Vee finally asked. "They're clearly showing a lot of hostility, but other than shouting at us or crying, they haven't done anything."
"Simon was punished for nearly killing . The gods don't want to lose their [Experints] due to unfair circumstances," I explained to Vee.
"Th-that's only a technicality!" Juniper shouted back.
"Wait, you can hear us?" Vee asked.
"Of course, we can hear telepathic conversations in our domains. Did you think you could plot and sche behind our backs?" Ygdran accused.
"Well, if you can hear , then stop being so insufferable! We're only here to pass the stupid test and leave! You two are the ones who jumped to conclusions and started screaming and crying at Syl here! Honestly, you're the first two [Dungeon Masters] I've ever t, and I'm not impressed! No wonder that dragon burnt your dungeon to a crisp; you probably deserved it!"
Oh no, Vee's mouth has been unleashed!
Ygdran started making a weird, whiny crying noise while Juniper gritted her teeth and scowled. Well, at least I assud they were her teeth.
"What, are you going to say sothing?" Vee snorted. "Spider got your tongue? All bark and no bite?"
I couldn't hold back snorting a laugh. anwhile, Vee continued her verbal onslaught.
"Let guess. You're only allowed to attack us in self-defense, right? Well, you better not ss with ! I'll have you know my god is the mother of magic!"
Juniper gasped while Ygdran shriveled back even further into his tree.
This book was originally published on . Check it out there for the real experience.
"That's right! If you two don't get out of our way so we can finish this stupid test, save the elves from so big assassination conspiracy, and then start our vacation adventure, then I'm going to pull a Karen and complain to your manager!"
"I don't know what that is, but it sounds scary Juniper…" Ygdran sniveled.
Juniper was doing her best goldfish impression as her mouth opened and closed. It looked like she had no idea how to react to the little spider on a warpath.
I felt like this was the perfect ti to offer an olive branch and wondered if this was Vee's master plan all along.
"We really don't want to cause any trouble for you two. I must pass this test to qualify as a branch leader and lure out the real enemies."
"Real enemies?" Juniper asked, finally breaking her silence.
"Soone is conspiring with the Outeatus Kingdom to damage Caelthal. Or, at minimum, they want to directly damage the Feirelle, as they were after their golden oak bag," I explained.
"Humans…" Juniper growled.
"Strange, you seem to know an awful lot of elven secrets," Ygdran whispered.
"Which ans…" Juniper shook her head. "Are you actually telling the truth? You're working together with the elves?"
"How else would she have the bloody Feirelle na plastered on her?" Vee asked sarcastically. "Or the fact that the elves literally set up this trial; we didn't just co here uninvited!"
Juniper turned to face Ygdran. The old tree face looked surprised as he sniffled up a load of sap snot before replying.
"Oh. That is true."
"Dran…" Juniper moaned as all the vicious plants from her threatening display slowly shrunk away.
"I'm here on behalf of Loreleia Feirelle. She even officially nad and bestowed the noble title upon ," I explained. "I was told it was required as it would be seen through if falsified."
Juniper nodded, "If you're here officially… and you don't intend to harm the Dran or his dungeon, then I can't see any reason for to act against you."
"Compensation! You should give us compensation for this unfair treatnt!" Vee demanded.
"Uh, yes, just please stop shouting at ," Ygdran pleaded. "What if I give you the trial token? Then you can go ho right away!"
"No!" I imdiately yelled.
"Umm… uhh…" Ygdran stamred as he began sweating nervously.
"I've been looking forward to this; I want to kill so monsters and get so experience! You can't take that away from !"
"I thought the gods said they removed the evolution madness from [Experints]," Juniper cautiously comnted.
"No, that's just Syl being Syl," Vee answered.
"Don't use as a verb," I scowled at the spider.
"It's fitting, though," she chuckled back.
I sighed, "Look. I've been cooped up in a tree for what feels like an eternity—"
"A few weeks," Vee interjected.
"—and I really want to spread my limbs a bit, have a bit of a challenge, and get so experience, the usual."
"I see. Well, we can proceed with the original trial then," Ygdran offered.
"Yes, please!"
"Are you sure that she hasn't gone crazy?" Juniper asked again.
"Positive," Vee said while patting my head with one of her tiny legs.
"I'm surprised you even know about the whole evolution craziness," I admitted.
"Why do you think we beca [Dungeon Masters]? It's one of the few ways to retain your sanity," Juniper answered.
"Oh. Simon made it sound like he was working towards sothing, but that makes a lot of sense."
"Well, there's also the slim chance that if you save up enough [Dungeon Master] points, you can get invited to beco a god," Juniper replied.
"Why is it always points… Reincarnation Points, Trait Points, Skill Points, Profession Points, and now [Dungeon Master] Points…" I mumbled.
"There's Kingdom Points as well," Juniper said with a smirk.
I felt my eye twitch.
"I think it's all a scam," Ygdran said, regaining a small part of his forr tone now that he realized we weren't hostile. "There's no way to save up that much in any reasonable amount of ti. Might as well just convert the points and have a better next life, although the cost for a monster to be reborn as an elf is colossal."
"Sadly, very true. Plus, you never know when a random dragon will appear and turn decades of hard work into cinders," Juniper lanted.
"Well, if it makes you feel any better, Syl here wants to kill and eat a dragon," Vee said.
"Good luck in your next life," Juniper replied, looking at with a look of genuine pity.
"You don't ss with dragons. Ever," Ygdran shivered.
Bah! I'll show them.
"So about that compensation?" Vee said again.
"We can't spawn a sli if that's what you're asking," Juniper stated.
"Damn."
"Can't, or won't?" Vee asked.
"Both," Juniper answered. "Both of us are strictly limited to summoning plant monsters only. Even spawning a bird, wolf, or tiger would considerably strain either of us."
"Damn."
"Sorry, Syl," Vee said.
"It's okay. I should be getting a pink sli from Loreleia and a brown sli from Llewel," I replied.
"No wonder you're helping the elves; that one is worth a fortune!" Ygdran cried out in surprise.
"Really? Isn't it aningless if you [Dungeon Masters] can just spawn them?" I asked curiously.
"Even if we could spawn slis, we couldn't spawn a pink one at the drop of a hat. We'd need to have invested enough points to be classified as a grand dungeon or labyrinth, and then a super rare monster like a pink sli is only attainable via your daily random allowance."
"Loot boxes… you're telling this damn world has fricken loot boxes!?" Vee cried out.
Both the trees and I had no idea what she was going on about.
"I'm surprised you're willing to share so much information with us," I said, moving away from Vee's confusing otherworldly outbursts.
"I feel a little bad about accusing you without getting the full story from Dran," Juniper said, shrugging. "Plus, it's not like it hurts . Who knows, maybe you'll join the [Dungeon Masters] when you're older?"
"Or sothing like that…" I chuckled nervously before turning to face Ygdran. "Anyway, if you want to compensate us, then just spawn more monsters than normal! I want to get as much experience as I can!"
"Oh, um… are you sure?" Ygdran asked.
"Yes, I'm over halfway to my next evolution, and the suspense is starting to kill . Plus, like I said earlier, I genuinely want to unwind and have so fun."
"Hey! Since the trees know you're a monster anyway, that ans you can go full sli mode!" Vee said excitedly.
I gasped, "You're right! This day just keeps getting better and better!"
"Just keep it a secret from the elves, okay?" Vee said, emphasizing it with a cute slight head tilt.
"Very well," Juniper agreed.
"One more thing!" I quickly said.
"What now?" Ygdran groaned.
"There might be elves or otherwise who try to infiltrate the test to sabotage my test.
"Would you like us to stop them?" Juniper asked.
"Heavens no. I want you to let them in. If I can kill or capture them, I might be able to speed up this investigation for the Feirelles."
"Oh… okay…" Ygdran agreed, looking a little distraught.
"A heads up if they are coming would be nice, but yeah, I think we should be able to handle them!" Vee added, brimming with confidence.
"Also, it's not required, but it would be great if you could stop spreading rumors about ," I replied. "I'm honestly a pretty friendly sli as long as you aren't my enemy!"
"Sure…" Juniper replied, sighing deeply.
"Great, let's go, Vee!" I said happily, and after giving a thumbs-up, I collapsed into a large puddle of sli right then and there.
"Sheesh, Syl, you couldn't wait until we got to the first room to sli out!"
"I'll open the entrance for you," Ygdran muttered with a startled and disturbed expression. A staircase going up was revealed.
"Thanks!" Vee and I replied as we made our way up.
"You know… I think I preferred slis when they were dumb as rocks," I overheard Juniper saying.
I scoffed and hoped they'd be watching for my impressive performance!
It's sli ti!
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