Ten Day Ultimatum Chapter 385

Chapter 385 Guiding Light

I stared at the cockroach in my hand for a long while, then suddenly, a smile tugged at my lips.

All my life, I had been thinking of others, upholding fairness as my creed, pursuing it without end. But who in this world had ever truly thought for ?

I held the scales of justice within my heart, facing the whole world, only to have them constantly shaken and tipped by others.

Whenever people introduced , they would say I was a well-known {female} lawyer in Chengdu. I always loathed that title.

What I wanted was equality, not preferential treatnt.

I was a lawyer—whether well-known or not—why must the emphasis fall on {female}? I only wished to stand as any other lawyer, judged by my work, not my gender.

But now…

None of that mattered anymore.

At this mont, all I want is so water, along with a bite of sothing sweet and sothing savory.

My gums bleed endlessly, beyond my ability to stop it.

It feels like I’m about to die…

I wonder…has a life ever ended in this place?

Why are there so many scratch marks on the walls?

They weren’t carved by , yet they remain, so stark and deliberate. Could it be another had once endured this place?

…

The next night, Butcher Ma appeared again.

This ti, perhaps unable to bear the stench clinging to my body, he dragged in a water hose.

He opened the door and, without saying a thing, imdiately sprayed water onto , capturing the whole scene on his phone.

Yes… a pig, that’s what I am.

Butchers using water hoses to wash pigs down just like this.

As I am now, stripped of all honor and self, I am nothing more than a pig bound for the knife.

Couldn’t he just kill ?

He sprayed for at least ten minutes. Most of the gri and mud caked on my body was finally washed away.

While I seem no different from a pig, I still felt a shade better than before. At the very least, I was clean again.

As a human being… shouldn’t one at least be allowed the dignity of cleanliness?

I lay prone, powerless, awaiting Butcher Ma’s {indulgence}.

What a farce this life has beco. My existence was no different from the pigs in his pen.

No… to be precise, keeping alive cost less than raising a pig.

Three yuan a day was all it took to sustain . A pig, however, wasn’t so cheap. A pig had to be fattened, kept plump and white, in order to fetch a good price.

But ? I required nothing at all.

As long as I still drew breath—as long as I remained a living woman—I was still of use to him.

When Butcher Ma pressed down on , grunting, I summoned all my strength to speak, “I’ll agree to anything… please let go…”

"Let ya go? That’s impossible..." he panted, his breath hot against . "Least I gotta keep ya locked up a few years... ’til the cops quit lookin’ for ya, then maybe..."

A few years…? Did I mishear?

There are three hundred and sixty-five days in a year. I’ve only been here twenty days, and I already feel like I’m dying.

And I’m supposed to endure this for years?

“I’ll die…” My tears had long since run dry; only my choking voice remained. “If you leave here… I’ll die… You said you wanted as your woman—what if I die first…?”

“You’re already my woman!!” he barked, his voice rough and forceful. "If ya die, then so be it. But ‘fore ya do, you’re givin’ laozi a young’un. Bear a boy, then you can go on an’ die."

The life I live now… is exactly as I pictured it as a child.

“I promise… I promise I’ll bear your child…” I wailed, “just… let out…”

"Quit dreamin’! Once ya done given a young’un, then I’ll take ya out!"

Watching him carry on with his vile act, a wave of despair engulfed .

He truly ant to see dead.

Slowly, I slipped my arms around his neck, forced my mouth wide open, and when he lost himself in lust, I sank my teeth into the artery of his throat.

I wanted to kill him.

But I had overestimated myself—I had no strength left.

All I managed was to hurt him, leaving a deep bite mark. My teeth felt loose, yet his throat remained unbroken.

Butcher Ma let out a howl as well, then stood and began raining blows and kicks down upon .

I could feel clearly—his feet kept striking my abdon, and I could do nothing to defend myself.

In such a defenseless state, my organs and bones would not escape harm.

They would hasten my death.

By the next day, I couldn’t even crawl. All I could do was drag myself with difficulty across the floor.

Blood kept spilling from my mouth with each cough.

Yesterday, Butcher Ma had doused the ground with water, but there was no drain here.

Excrent, filth, and muck mingled in the stagnant water, soaking the moldy straw. In the sweltering heat of July, it reeked with a stench that could drive one mad.

And ?

I could not stand. I was ‘swimming’ in that sewage.

Filth clung to on all sides.

I was nothing but a pig wallowing in a cesspit.

In the foul water, I groped about, searching for my day’s ration of water and food.

“Laidi, if you ever make it to the city soday, the very first thing you should do is go to the local police station and change your na.”

A voice rang softly by my ear—that was my guiding light, my teacher. Her na was unlike that of any other girl in the village. She was not called Laidi, Zhaodi, Pandi, nor was she Erni or Sanni. Her na was Ning Wan’er.

(TLN: More son-prefrence nas: Zhaodi (招娣) - awaiting younger brother. Pandi (盼娣) - hoping for younger brother. Erni (二妮) - gal two. Sanni (三妮) - gal three. While the teacher’s na was Ning Wan’er (宁婉儿), which roughly ans ‘child of grace and peace’.)

That year, she and I stood together at the village’s edge, before the lake, watching the sunrise.

“Why?” I asked.

“Though you are gifted, this na will bring you much trouble,” she sighed. “I want you to live a better life, not spend your whole existence trapped here. You are able to choose your own path.”

At the ti, I could not grasp her aning. Born beneath others, could I truly be allowed to choose my own life?

“But… what na should I take?”

“Whichever you like,” she coughed and continued. “A na is ant to bless your own life, not soone else’s. I hope you can be like this lake at daybreak: when given a spark of warmth, you shine with radiant sunlight, and though your depths may be cold and dark, you respond to the world with gentle ripples of tenderness.”

(TLN: Lawyer Zhang’s na (晨泽; Chenze) ans ‘water/luster at daybreak’ ಥ‿ಥ)

Back then, I understood none of her words. All I could see was how frail and wan she had beco.

Lake at daybreak?

Looking back now, she must have already been ill.

Was she all right? Did she ever recover?

Did she live on in good health until today?

As a child, it never once occurred to to ask for my teacher’s contact. Because of that, all these years have passed, and I’ve never been able to find her.

“Laidi, I once heard a tale,” my teacher gazed at the lake and smiled at serenely. “Everything in this world, once it dies, will continue to live on in another form.”

“What does that an?”

“If one day I should die, then perhaps I will beco a blade of grass, a tree, a bird in flight, or even a little insect in the grass.”

Her words felt profound, yet to , they were curiously delightful.

So then… did that an no one in this world would ever truly die?

If they die, they will turn into sothing else, living on in another form forever in this world.

That sounded, sohow, fair.

“I hope Teacher never dies,” I told her.

“Why is that?”

“Because no one else in this world has ever been so kind to .” I t her gaze and felt a wave of impending tears in her eyes. “Teacher, even if you were to beco a bird, a little insect, or even just a stone, I still wouldn’t want you to die.”

“Duly noted.” She smiled.

Teacher Ning said she would be leaving in three days, but the very next day, she was already gone. Surely, sothing urgent must have co up, and she had gone back to the city ahead of ti.