Gu’er was stunned by Lin Sui’er’s words.
She said she looked like her mom.
’Isn’t it true?’ She had thought Lin Sui’er looked familiar, not because she’d seen her before, but because they shared a slight resemblance. Their eyebrows, noses, and mouths were all sowhat similar. The only difference was that her own eyes were large and round, while Lin Sui’er had slanted, phoenix-like eyes. That was why she hadn’t made the connection.
’And Lin Sui’er’s mom... do her features seem familiar because I look like her?’
Gu’er looked closely. Their eyes and brows were indeed similar, but Lin Sui’er’s mother’s eyes showed the marks of ti, unlike her own bright, watery ones. Her nose wasn’t as straight as her own; it was a bit fleshy at the tip. The shape of their mouths was alike, but her lips lacked the sa smoothness.
If she were to grow old, she would resemble the woman by fifty or sixty percent.
Gu’er’s heart pounded. ’Lin Sui’er looks a bit like , and I look like this woman, and Lin Sui’er is this woman’s daughter... What does that an?’
Gu’er’s heart trembled. She didn’t dare to think about it.
The woman’s heart was just as shaken as Gu’er’s. She had only thought Gu’er looked vaguely familiar and hadn’t thought much of it, but now her daughter’s words sent her emotions into turmoil.
"You. What’s your na?"
the woman asked Gu’er, her voice trembling slightly.
Lin Sui’er watched in confusion, but Gu’er felt a pang of fear. As for why she felt fear instead of joy, she couldn’t say.
"My surna is Zhou."
Gu’er’s answer was evasive. The woman had asked for her na, but she’d only given her surna. She didn’t know why she didn’t want to say she was called Gu’er. Her grandmother had told her that her original na had also been Gu’er.
"I’m not asking for your surna, I’m asking for your given na."
Lin Sui’er’s mother, Chen Fengjiao, was getting anxious.
Gu’er looked at her.
"I didn’t hit your daughter. I have other things to do, so I’ll be leaving."
’I don’t want to answer, and I don’t even know why. If it’s really what I’m thinking... No, no, I don’t want to think about it. I don’t want to think about any of it.’
Gu’er started to push her bicycle away, but Lin Sui’er grabbed hold of it.
"You can’t leave! What do you an you didn’t hit ? Would I be like this if you hadn’t hit ? You better explain yourself, or you’re not going anywhere."
Lin Sui’er refused to let it go. Her parents had doted on her since she was a child, fostering a domineering personality. Now that she had taken a dislike to Gu’er, she certainly wasn’t going to let her leave.
Gu’er looked at Chen Fengjiao—though, of course, she didn’t know the woman’s na yet.
"Why don’t you co in and sit for a bit? Have a drink of water?"
Chen Fengjiao didn’t want Gu’er to leave either. She hadn’t been able to ask her questions yet. She didn’t know for sure, but the resemblance was there, the age matched up—she had to ask.
"No, thank you. If you have sothing to say, say it here. If you want to pay for damages, I’m sorry, but I didn’t hit her. It was nice enough of to help her over here. I guess this is what I get for doing a good deed."
Gu’er’s tone was cold. She didn’t want to go into the Lin Family’s ho.
’Lin Sui’er was clearly spoiled rotten growing up. So what about ? What does that make ?!’
Chen Fengjiao sensed Gu’er’s attitude.
"You hit soone and you think you’re in the right?"
Lin Sui’er, on the other hand, just glared, completely oblivious to what was really going on.
"If you have things to do, you can go. By the way, where are you headed? Can you tell where you live?"
Chen Fengjiao could feel Gu’er’s resistance. As long as she had an address, she was confident she could find out the truth.
Gu’er didn’t want to say. But just then, a few people approached from the opposite direction. Gu’er saw that she recognized the man in front: it was the Brother Cui who had co to hire her. She hurriedly tried to leave, but Lin Sui’er wouldn’t let go of her bike.
"Isn’t this Sister Gu’er? You’re here! We were waiting for you and thought you might’ve gotten lost. What’s going on here?"
Brother Cui saw Gu’er first, then Lin Sui’er and her mother.
"Auntie, Sui’er, what are you two...?"
’They know each other? I guess that makes sense. They don’t live far apart, so it’s not surprising.’
"She hit with her bike and was trying to run off. Brother Cui, you know her?"
Lin Sui’er was also surprised that Gu’er knew people from her area.
Brother Cui’s eyes darted around.
"Erming, it’s nothing. You know Sui’er just learned to ride a bike. The two of them just bumped into each other by accident. No one’s to bla, no one’s to bla..."
Chen Fengjiao trailed off, because she suddenly rembered what Cui Erming had called the girl: Sister Gu’er. Her na was Gu’er. In that case, was she...?
Chen Fengjiao’s body began to tremble. She wanted to step forward and grab Gu’er, but the mont she moved, Lin Sui’er cried out "Ah!" She had no choice but to support her daughter again, but her eyes remained fixed on Gu’er.
"Oh, as long as everything’s okay. Sui’er, you need to be more careful on your bike in the future. You almost hit last ti, too. Well, Auntie, we’ll get going. The family is waiting for Sister Gu’er to steam the jujube cakes."
Seeing that it was nothing serious, Cui Erming was relieved. It would have been a hassle if the Lin Family had actually refused to let Gu’er leave.
"Mom,"
Lin Sui’er whined, but her mother paid her no mind. She wanted to say sothing, but Gu’er was already pushing her bike away.
’Is it really her? Is it really the daughter I lost so many years ago?’
Chen Fengjiao’s heart hamred in her chest. ’I thought I’d never find her again, but I ran into her today, of all days. Her na is Gu’er, her age is right, and she looks so much like her... It can’t be a mistake. It must be my eldest daughter. No, I have to go and find out for sure. My poor child... I have to find out.’
Tears had already filled Chen Fengjiao’s eyes. She took a step to chase after her, but Lin Sui’er tugged on her arm and cried out.
Only then did Chen Fengjiao rember that her daughter was injured and still standing there.
"Let help you back ho first. I’ll get so dicinal wine to rub on it."
Chen Fengjiao glanced in the direction Gu’er had gone. ’I can’t just abandon my younger daughter. I know Gu’er is at the Cui Family’s place; I can just go look for her later. But why would she be going to the Cui Family to steam jujube cakes?’
’Right, I heard the Cui Family’s future daughter-in-law wanted jujube cakes, so they hired soone from the village to make them. I heard that much. Gu’er is from the village, so that makes it even more likely.’
The thought that her daughter had to steam jujube cakes for others made Chen Fengjiao’s heart ache. ’I truly failed that child.’
Chen Fengjiao’s mind was in a ss. ’Should I go find my husband first, so we can discuss this together?’
anwhile, Gu’er’s mind was also in turmoil. Judging by the attitude of Lin Sui’er’s mom, she felt her guess was probably right.
Then she thought of their nas. She was Gu’er, and the other girl was Sui’er. ’Gu... Sui... together they form ’gu sui,’ an ear of grain. Aren’t we just two of a kind!’ A sarcastic smile touched Gu’er’s lips.
In her past life, it wasn’t that she had never thought about her birth parents. She had suffered so much, especially when Zhou Mazi tried to sell her to Zhang Da. Back then, she had wondered, ’Why did my parents abandon ? If I had been with my real parents, maybe my fate wouldn’t have turned out this way?’
Later, she stopped thinking about it. She died without ever eting her birth parents, never knowing her real surna or her actual birthday. She had despaired. She just pretended she never had any birth parents to begin with.
’After being reborn in this life, I thought about it, too, especially the last ti I saw my grandmother. I wanted to ask, but in the end, I didn’t. Whether they abandoned or sothing else happened, the fact that they never looked for for so many years must an they didn’t want . Or maybe they’re not even in this world anymore.’
’But looking at them today... Lin Sui’er is well-dressed and can afford a bicycle. Her mom’s clothes are decent, and they live in a nice house in the city. Even though she’s middle-aged, she looks so much younger than my adoptive mother, Li Hua. It’s obvious their family is well-off. How could a family like that be unable to afford one more child?’
’Since they abandoned back then, and since they haven’t cared to ask about for all these years, why should I bother acknowledging them now? I’ll just pretend I never t them. I’ll just be Li Hua’s daughter.’
As Gu’er thought about this, she kneaded the dough with force. But a tear escaped the corner of her eye and fell into the dough.
---
A thank you to Dandan Ruliu for the monthly ticket! Your theories are wild, everyone. And yes, Chen Fengjiao is her birth mother.
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