Liu Yuan rushed back to the village as fast as he could. But no matter how quick he was, the distance was great, and he was only just arriving.
He was excited to run into Gu’er, but when he saw her riding a bicycle, his heart sank.
’That’s the bicycle Sun Jiaming bought. She rode it all the way here, and there’s no trace of sadness or fear on her face... no joy at seeing . Has she already accepted Sun Jiaming?’
’Am I too late?’
Liu Yuan felt dizzy, his heart aching. He clenched his fists, but he didn’t know who to punch.
Gu’er noticed Liu Yuan looked awful, as if soone had deeply offended him.
"Brother Liu Yuan, let’s go. We can head back to the village together. Are you here to see your aunt?"
Gu’er spoke again.
Liu Yuan looked at Gu’er.
’Her expression is the sa as always, though she seems a little confused and concerned about how I look. Hasn’t it occurred to her that I ca here for her?’
Liu Yuan took a long, deep breath. He glanced around; it was quiet, with no one else on the road. This was a good place to talk.
"Sister Gu’er, I heard you left the Zhou family?"
Liu Yuan decided to get a clear answer. He had to know, regardless of whether it was the answer he wanted to hear.
"Mhm."
Gu’er nodded. ’He found out so quickly,’ she thought. ’Wu Sanduo must have told him.’ She had nothing to hide anyway.
"You... you’re staying at Brother Jia Ming’s house? And you’re never going back to the Zhou family?"
Liu Yuan’s voice trembled slightly. His hands were clenched so tightly, he had no idea what kind of answer he was about to hear.
"I’m staying in the old house that belongs to Brother Jia Ming’s family. Brother Jia Ming helped that day and let live there. I won’t be going back to the Zhou family."
Gu’er stated it plainly.
Liu Yuan froze. ’She’s living in the Sun family’s *old house*, not *with* the Sun Family themselves? Then what was my aunt talking about?’
Of course. Liu Yuan understood now. His aunt must have said that because she didn’t want him to marry Gu’er. At this thought, endless hope surged in his heart once more.
"Sister Gu’er, then... then what are your plans for the future?"
This ti, as Liu Yuan asked, his heart was filled with hope.
Gu’er glanced at him, falling silent. This was the second ti in two days soone had asked her about her future plans.
What were her plans? She had thought it over carefully last night, but she had no clear vision for the future, especially when it ca to marriage. She truly had no idea what to do.
She looked at Liu Yuan, and the brightness in his eyes almost hurt to look at. ’He... he likes too, doesn’t he?’
’Liu Yuan?’
’It wasn’t as if she’d never considered it. Liu Yuan was handso, a simple and shy young man. Spending a lifeti with him wouldn’t be so bad, would it?’
’But... but she always saw Liu Yuan as a junior, like a younger brother. She’d never thought of him as a potential husband.’
’Besides, Liu Yuan was a good man, which was all the more reason she couldn’t ruin his life. It was just like with Sun Jiaming—even though she had feelings for him, she didn’t want to marry him. She didn’t want to have children.’
’And his family would never agree to him marrying her anyway. He could find any girl he wanted; why would he saddle himself with soone like ?’
Having sorted out her thoughts, Gu’er smiled at Liu Yuan. "? I’m planning to go to the city in a few days to sell popsicles. Brother Jia Ming lent his bicycle, so I need to go make so money."
She understood his intentions but could only feign ignorance.
"So, have you thought about marriage? What kind of man do you want to marry?"
Liu Yuan wouldn’t give up. He assud Gu’er just hadn’t understood his aning.
"I haven’t thought about it, and I don’t want to get married."
Gu’er shook her head.
Liu Yuan’s heart sank. ’Is she telling the truth? She really doesn’t want to get married?’
"Gu’er, what if... what if soone ca to your door to propose?"
Liu Yuan pressed, needing a clear answer.
"I don’t want to get married. If soone proposes, I’ll just refuse them."
As she spoke, Gu’er could hardly bear to look Liu Yuan in the eye. She didn’t want to hurt him.
"What if that person was ? Would it still be no? Would you still be unwilling?"
Liu Yuan dropped all pretense and asked her directly. He had to know her answer.
Gu’er lowered her head, looking down at the handlebars. Her hands twisted nervously around the grips.
"Brother Liu Yuan, thank you. You’ve been so good to ever since we t, and I’ll always rember that. But I really don’t want to get married. You’re a good man; you’ll definitely find soone who’s right for you soday. I’m sorry, I... I really..."
Gu’er couldn’t go on. After her rebirth, the only people who had been truly kind to her were Sun Jiaming and Liu Yuan. She had t Liu Yuan first and had always seen him as a friend, a younger brother. But after this, she feared it would be difficult for them to ever face each other again.
Liu Yuan staggered back a couple of steps. She was rejecting him. He had laid his heart bare, but it was clear from her reaction that she had no feelings for him. She had never even considered him in that way. It had all been wishful thinking on his part.
The light in Liu Yuan’s eyes went out, his gaze growing dim.
A wave of pity washed over Gu’er. She opened her mouth to say sothing, but no words ca out. ’It’s better to be cruel now,’ she thought. ’I can’t lead him on or give him so vague answer. It would be far crueler to let him hold on to hope only to be disappointed later.’
’Now that I’ve rejected him, he’ll be upset for a few days, but once he understands, he’ll move on. He’ll forget about this once he ets the right person.’
’It’s better this way. It’s the responsible thing to do, for both of us.’
"I get it. You’re not interested in . Is it because you’ve fallen for Brother Jia Ming?"
Liu Yuan felt a surge of indignation. ’I’m no worse than Sun Jiaming,’ he thought. ’Is this just because I wasn’t there for her when she needed soone most? But I don’t live in the village! I had no idea she was in trouble. If I had known, I would have stepped up to help her too!’
Gu’er fell silent. The ntion of Sun Jiaming sent her thoughts into a flurry. ’If things don’t work out with Jia Ming,’ she wondered, ’will I be just as heartbroken as Liu Yuan is right now?’
"Gu’er, the people in this village treat you terribly. Why do you insist on staying here? Co to the city with ! I’ll help you find a house and a job. I’ll buy you a bicycle! I’ll treat you well—I’ll treat you well for the rest of my life! I won’t let anyone bully you. You don’t have to stay here. Isn’t it better to just leave?"
Liu Yuan suddenly grew agitated again. He lunged forward and grabbed the handlebars, his hand covering Gu’er’s. He was gripping them tightly.
Gu’er felt the force of his grip; it hurt a little. She could see his knuckles turning white from the pressure.
Gu’er didn’t cry out. Go to the city? It wasn’t that she hadn’t considered it. If she really wanted to go, she wouldn’t need Liu Yuan’s help. She could find a place, rent a room, and make a living on her own.
But she didn’t want to. All her mories from her past life were in the city, and not a single one was good. There was a place there, a place she never wanted to go near again. The wounds it had given her were impossible to forget, raw and bloody whenever she so much as thought about them. She was afraid. She pushed the thoughts away, avoided them. Even if she went to the city to sell popsicles and build a future for herself, she would make sure to steer clear of that place.
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