Week six of transformation, and Maya was starting to understand what "losing your mind" actually ant.
Everything was too much. Too loud. Too bright. Too intense.
She could hear conversations happening three floors away. Could sll what everyone in the estate had eaten for breakfast. Could feel the texture of air currents moving across her skin like physical touch.
And the emotions.....god, the emotions were overwhelming.
Pack bonds humd at the edges of her consciousness like background music she couldn’t turn off. She could sense the Alphas’ locations without seeing them, could feel the general emotional state of every wolf in a hundred-yard radius.
It was fascinating and terrifying and she was pretty sure she was going insane.
"Breathe," Brynn said from across the training room. "You’re not insane. You’re just overstimulated. Your wolf senses are coming online before your human brain has learned to filter them."
"How do I filter them?" Maya gasped, pressing her hands to her temples like that would sohow block out the sensory overload.
"Practice. Ti. ditation helps." Brynn moved closer, her presence settling sothing wild in Maya’s chest. "Focus on my voice. Just my voice. Let everything else fade to background noise."
Maya tried. Really tried. But focusing on one thing when a thousand sensations were screaming for attention felt impossible.
"I can’t...."
"You can." Brynn’s hand touched her shoulder, and the contact helped. Physical touch from another wolf seed to ground the chaos. "Start small. Pick one sense. Just one. Block out the rest."
Maya closed her eyes. Tried to focus only on sound. On Brynn’s breathing. On the steady rhythm of her heartbeat.
Slowly.....so slowly, the other sensations began to recede. Not disappear, but dim enough that they weren’t overwhelming.
"Good," Brynn said softly. "That’s good. Now open your eyes but keep that focus. Don’t let the visual input overwhelm you."
Maya’s eyes opened. The world was still impossibly vivid, she could see individual dust motes floating in the air, could perceive colors she’d never noticed before, but it was manageable.
"I did it," she breathed.
"You did. That’s the first step. Learning to control the input so it doesn’t control you." Brynn smiled. "You’re doing better than most new wolves at this stage. Most of them are still completely overwheld."
"I don’t feel like I’m doing well. I feel like I’m drowning."
"That’s normal. The transformation isn’t just physical. Your entire nervous system is rewiring. Your brain is adapting to process information differently. It takes ti."
Maya sat down heavily on the training mat. "How long until I can shift?"
"Usually around three months. But it varies. So wolves shift earlier. So take longer." Brynn settled beside her. "Your wolf will erge when she’s ready. You can’t force it."
"What if she doesn’t? What if I’m stuck like this....too wolf to be human, too human to be wolf?"
"That won’t happen. I’ve never seen a successful bonding where the wolf didn’t erge." Brynn’s expression turned thoughtful. "Though I should warn you, when she does co, it’s going to be intense. The first shift is... difficult. Painful. Your bones have to break and reform. Your entire skeletal structure has to change. It’s not gentle."
Maya swallowed hard. "Great. Sothing to look forward to."
"But once you’ve shifted that first ti, subsequent shifts get easier. Faster. Eventually it becos natural. Like breathing." Brynn paused. "And Maya? When your wolf erges, you need to let her. Don’t fight her. Don’t try to stay human. Just surrender to it and trust that you’ll co back."
"What if I don’t co back?"
"You will. You’re stronger than you think. And we’ll be right there to make sure you don’t hurt yourself or anyone else."
***
Week eight brought new challenges.
Maya’s emotions had beco volatile, swinging from euphoric to enraged to desperately sad with no warning and no obvious trigger.
"It’s the wolf," Eve explained one afternoon after finding Maya crying in the library for no reason she could articulate. "Her emotions are bleeding into yours. You’re feeling things that don’t belong to your human consciousness."
"How do I make it stop?" Maya wiped her eyes. "I can’t control it. One minute I’m fine, the next I want to rip soone’s throat out or sob for hours."
"You learn to separate what’s yours from what’s hers. To recognize which emotions are coming from your wolf and which are genuinely your own." Eve settled beside her. "It takes practice. But it gets easier."
"Does it ever feel normal? Or am I going to be an emotional disaster forever?"
"It becos your new normal. You adapt. And honestly?" Eve smiled. "You were kind of an emotional disaster as a human too. At least now you have an excuse."
Despite everything, Maya laughed. "Fair point."
That night, Maya woke from nightmares of running through forests, of hunting prey, of tasting blood. The dreams were so vivid she could sll the earth beneath her paws, could feel wind in her fur....
Wait. She didn’t have fur. Or paws.
But her wolf did.
Maya sat up in bed, her heart racing. These weren’t her dreams. They were her wolf’s mories. Or instincts. Or desires.
She was in there. Close to the surface now. So close Maya could almost hear her voice.
Soon, sothing whispered in the back of Maya’s mind. Soon we run.
***
Week ten brought the first partial shift.
Maya was training with Brynn when it happened. They were sparring....teaching Maya basic combat techniques....when frustration at her own clumsiness suddenly spiked into rage.
Maya felt her hands cramp. Watched in horror as her fingers elongated, as claws pushed through her nail beds, as fur sprouted across her knuckles.
"Brynn!" Maya’s voice ca out strangled. "What’s happening?!"
"Partial shift," Brynn said calmly. "Don’t panic. Just breathe through it."
"My hands...."
"Are fine. This is normal. Your wolf is testing the boundaries. Seeing what she can do." Brynn moved closer. "Focus on . Can you feel your human hands underneath the wolf changes?"
Maya concentrated. Yes....underneath the fur and claws, her human bones were still there. The wolf was just... layered on top.
"Good. Now push her back. Gently. Tell her ’not yet.’ Reclaim your human form."
Maya tried. It was like pushing against a current...difficult and exhausting. But slowly, the fur receded. The claws retracted. Her hands returned to normal.
"Holy fuck," Maya gasped. "That was...."
"Your wolf saying hello," Brynn finished. "It’ll happen more frequently as you get closer to full transformation. Partial shifts when you’re emotional or stressed. Learning to control them is part of learning to control your wolf."
"What if I shift at the wrong ti? In public or around humans?"
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