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Now reading: Chapter 44 – The First Time She Chose from The Alpha Who Regrets Losing Me, a Fantasy novel by ThGirlOutOfHerPack.

The silence that followed the surge of power did not feel like an absence of sound. It felt deliberate, almost sentient, as though the room itself had registered what had just happened and was now holding still to see what I would do next.

I did not move.

The faint glow that had once spilled uncontrollably from beneath my skin had already begun to recede, but its presence lingered in subtler ways, threading through my veins, steadying my breath, sharpening my awareness. My body no longer felt like sothing reacting to forces beyond it. It felt aligned, as though sothing ancient had shifted into place and decided to stay.

Across from , Kael stood exactly where the last of the light had forced him to stop.

For the first ti since I had known him, he wasn’t closing the distance without thought. He wasn’t commanding the space around him as if it naturally belonged to him. He was watching, calculating, as if trying to understand the shape of sothing that no longer fit into the boundaries he was used to controlling.

"You’ve changed," he said finally, his voice quieter than usual, but carrying an edge that had not softened in the slightest.

I lifted my gaze to et his, allowing the silence to stretch for a brief mont before answering.

"I didn’t change," I said. "You just lost the version of that made things easier for you."

Sothing tightened in his expression, subtle but unmistakable. He didn’t deny it. Instead, he stepped forward, carefully this ti, as though testing whether the sa rules still applied.

"You think this is control," he continued, his tone deepening as tension threaded through it. "You think this makes you stronger. But what you’re carrying isn’t sothing you command. It’s sothing that consus, slowly enough that you won’t notice until it’s already taken more than you can afford to lose."

I studied him for a mont, really studied him, without the weight of old expectations shaping what I saw. There was sothing raw beneath his certainty now, sothing that had always been there but had never surfaced clearly enough for to na.

Fear.

"And yet," I said softly, "you’re the one speaking like you’ve already lost sothing."

The words struck with precision. I saw it in the way his jaw tightened, in the fraction of a second it took him to respond, in the subtle shift of his posture as he closed the remaining distance between us.

This ti, he didn’t hesitate.

His hand lifted, fingers catching my chin and tilting my face upward in a controlled, deliberate motion that was ant to reestablish sothing that no longer existed between us.

"You’re starting to sound like her," he said, his voice lowering, roughened at the edges by sothing he was no longer fully containing.

"Maybe that’s because she was right," I replied. "And you just didn’t want to hear it."

For a mont, sothing unguarded flickered across his expression, sothing that belonged to the brother he had once been rather than the Alpha standing in front of now. It vanished almost instantly, replaced by sothing colder, sharper.

"You don’t get to rewrite what happened," he said. "You don’t get to decide she wasn’t lost."

I didn’t pull away from his grip. I held his gaze, steady, refusing to let the mont revert into sothing familiar.

"She wasn’t lost," I said quietly. "She chose sothing you were too afraid to follow."

The effect was imdiate.

His grip tightened, just enough to remind that he could still exert force, still claim proximity, still attempt control. But there was sothing different in it now, sothing less certain.

"I won’t let that happen again," he said.

His hand slid from my chin to my wrist, fingers closing around it with a possessiveness that would have once sent a sharp instinct through to retreat.

Now, it did the opposite.

It clarified.

I looked down at where he held , then slowly lifted my gaze back to his.

"You say that like you think this is sothing you can stop," I said.

"And you say it like you think I won’t try."

The space between us tightened, charged with sothing far more volatile than simple tension. His presence pressed closer, deliberate, testing the boundary that had shifted without his permission.

"You don’t understand what this will cost you," he continued, his voice lower now, more dangerous because of how controlled it sounded. "You don’t understand what it will demand of you, what it will take from you piece by piece until there’s nothing left that belongs to you."

"And you don’t understand," I replied, "that it was never yours to manage."

That was the mont everything tipped.

His grip tightened again, not violently, but with unmistakable intent.

"And if I decide it is?"

For a single, suspended second, the room seed to narrow around that question.

Then—

Sothing inside responded.

Not as an explosion, not as a loss of control, but as sothing quieter and far more decisive.

The silver returned.

It rose beneath my skin like a tide that had learned patience, gathering at the point where his hand held before spreading outward in a controlled, luminous thread. The air shifted, subtle but undeniable, and I watched the exact instant Kael felt it.

His fingers loosened.

Not because he chose to.

Because sothing deeper in him understood.

"I’m not sothing you can hold in place," I said, my voice steady, untouched by the tension that had once shaped it.

This ti, when he released , he didn’t try to reclaim the contact.

The silence that followed was heavier than anything that had co before it.

And then— It broke.

Not because of us, because of him.

I felt Rowan before I saw him, the presence of him threading through the room in a way that did not force attention, but commanded it all the sa. It wasn’t overwhelming in the way Kael’s energy was. It didn’t press or dominate. It settled, steady and unyielding, like sothing that had no need to prove its strength.

Kael felt it too.

His posture shifted, tension sharpening as his attention snapped toward the entrance.

I turned.

Rowan stood just inside the threshold, the fading light behind him casting his form into quiet relief. His gaze found mine imdiately, unwavering, as though everything else in the room had already been dismissed.

For a mont, nothing else existed.

"You took your ti," I said, my voice softer than I intended, but steady.

Sothing in his expression shifted, not relief, not quite, but sothing that settled deeper than either.

"I ca as soon as I knew where to look," he replied.

He moved then, unhurried, each step deliberate, as though he understood that rushing toward would break sothing fragile in the space between us. When he stopped in front of , the distance between us was almost nonexistent.

And still—

He didn’t touch .

His gaze dropped briefly to my wrist, where Kael’s hand had been monts before, before returning to my eyes.

"You’re not hurt," he said quietly.

"No."

Sothing tightened in his jaw, subtle but unmistakable.

"I told you not to follow ." I said.

"I didn’t follow you," he said. "I ca because you left."

The distinction settled between us, heavy with aning.

Behind , Kael let out a sharp breath, the tension in the room snapping back into place.

"This isn’t sothing you get to step into," he said coldly. "You don’t have a place in this."

Rowan finally looked at him.

The shift in the air was imdiate.

It wasn’t loud, wasn’t aggressive, but it carried a quiet finality that was far more dangerous than either.

"You don’t get to decide that," Rowan said.

Kael’s expression darkened.

"I’m the reason she’s still standing."

"And you’re the reason she had to leave."

The words landed cleanly, without hesitation, and for a mont, neither of them moved.

I stepped forward. Not because I needed to.

Because I chose to.

The movent alone shifted everything. Both of them stilled. Watched. Waited.

Kael spoke first, his voice edged with sothing sharper now.

"You don’t understand what you’re stepping into."

Rowan’s voice followed, quieter but no less firm.

"You don’t have to prove anything to anyone."

And suddenly, it was clear.

They weren’t speaking to .

They were speaking around .

As if I were still sothing to be positioned, protected, or claid.

The realization settled into with a clarity that left no room for hesitation.

"I’m not standing between you," I said slowly.

Both of them went silent.

"I’m standing for myself."

The words didn’t echo, but they changed sothing.

Kael’s gaze hardened, sothing unreadable shifting beneath it.

Rowan didn’t interrupt. He didn’t move closer, didn’t try to claim space or influence the mont.

He simply watched .

And waited.

I drew in a breath, feeling the power beneath my skin respond, not as sothing uncontrollable, but as sothing aligned with the decision I was making.

"I’m not sothing you protect," I said. "And I’m not sothing you keep."

Kael’s jaw tightened.

Rowan’s gaze didn’t waver.

"And I’m done letting either of you decide where I belong."

The silver light returned again, not as a surge, but as sothing steady, deliberate, wrapping around with quiet certainty.

"I choose where I stand."

The air shifted.

Kael took a step back. Rowan didn’t move at all. And that was the difference.

I wasn’t reacting. I wasn’t choosing between them.

I was choosing myself.

And the moon— Did not pull.

It waited.

As if it already knew—

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