But when he still lied to her like that, how did it make her feel? What was she supposed to think? This kind of thought truly left her unspeakably troubled. Such thoughts were indeed excruciatingly uncomfortable, very distressing, and painful. She hoped Qi Longbing would gain a clearer understanding of this, to see the essence of the problem more clearly. Then, shouldn’t he find a way to do what was best for both the child and himself? Not deceive himself by taking wedding photos, thinking it would make him happy, when in fact, it would only make her feel even sadder! Because all of it was fake, all of it was a deception, everything designed to make her feel extrely uncomfortable. This kind of pain... she felt she couldn’t articulate it properly. She was so sad. She hoped Qi Longbing would truly reflect, truly recognize his mistakes, and genuinely treat himself and the child well. Then, he needed to resolve his marital issues clearly. That was her thought. Beyond that, she didn’t want to say more; she felt it was aningless. She hoped Qi Longbing could gain a clear perspective and see all these problems for what they were. Only then would there be more trust between them. Only then would there be a greater need for communication and for them to be together.
When Qi Longbing heard what she said, his eyes conveyed a deep depression. He felt as if Hua Xiaomo no longer understood him, and that a distance had grown between them. But he really didn’t want that. He liked Hua Xiaomo very much; he loved her dearly. He hoped she could understand his perspective and consider all these issues from his standpoint. He believed that if two people could truly understand each other, there was nothing they couldn’t achieve. Yet, making her understand him was proving difficult. He suddenly felt she didn’t understand him anymore, even though everything he had done was for her. How could she not understand him? He felt he hadn’t intentionally deceived her. He had asked her to take wedding photos because he genuinely wanted to marry her soon, to walk alongside her, to step into the hall of marriage with her. And then, with Candy, to experience the happiness of their family of three. He truly hoped things would always be this way, to forever maintain this happiness and joy. He really didn’t want anything else to disturb them; he felt that would make him very uncomfortable.
He tried to see it from her side. Perhaps, no matter the situation, she felt she needed her childhood friends, and she desperately wanted him to truly understand her, to genuinely see things from her perspective. And yet, he was also thinking of her. Isn’t love about two people caring for and accommodating each other? If one person is always the one compromising, that love will also grow exhausting. Although he loved Hua Xiaomo deeply, he really hoped she could empathize with him a little.
"Hua Xiaomo, please don’t talk like that, okay?" Qi Longbing pleaded. "When you say that, I really feel miserable because I genuinely like you. Haven’t you felt that at all during these many years we’ve been together? Are you really going to be mad at over such a trivial matter? I truly want to divorce Pan Yutong; it’s just that right now, there’s still a small obstacle. You should understand . Besides, I really want to be with you and our child. You should know that.
You shouldn’t be mad at . I miss you so much, I like you so much, I really can’t be without you because you are my life. You are the forever in my life. Right now, with you, I love you so much I can’t even breathe. How should I express my love so that you can understand it?
Maybe you’ll never truly understand what I’m thinking, but I sincerely hope you and Candy can be happy and joyful, to stay by my side forever. That’s my wish, whether you believe it or not, that’s what I think."
Watching Hua Xiaomo, Qi Longbing was very emotional. He longed to express all his feelings. He wished Hua Xiaomo could understand the depths of his heart, and he hoped Candy would understand him too. He genuinely wished both of them could be by his side, allowing him to accompany them in a joyous life together, especially to watch Candy grow up. That’s what he needed. That’s what he wanted to achieve. For such a wish, he could truly do a lot; he could give so much for them. He felt that besides them, he really didn’t want to bother with anyone else. Those two were the ones he loved most; having his most beloved people by his side was enough. He really didn’t want to concern himself with anyone else; he didn’t like them either.
To put it bluntly, without Hua Xiaomo and Candy, his life would feel utterly empty and dull, filled with all sorts of discomfort. Well, although there were so conflicts now, he didn’t think they would ultimately affect things.
From the mont they t, from when she beca his secretary, through all the ti he had waited for her, he truly liked her so much, loved her so much. He couldn’t be without her. Even though several years had passed in between, he felt he still couldn’t forget her; he really missed her. From this feeling, it was evident he had done a lot for Hua Xiaomo. During the long period Hua Xiaomo was away, he hadn’t contacted other won or pursued other relationships. In his heart, there was only her. For Hua Xiaomo, it could be said he had given up a great deal. He loved Hua Xiaomo to his very core.
This kind of feeling... perhaps only he himself could truly understand it. Sotis, late at night, thinking of her alone, it was quite painful. But he always felt it was worth it because Hua Xiaomo was willing to stay by his side, which made him feel incredibly happy and content. As long as she could quietly be with him, he felt imnse happiness and joy. He would definitely handle future matters very well. The key now was for her to forgive him, for her to allow her heart to draw closer to his. That alone would make him feel extrely happy and content.
"You always say that, Qi Longbing," Hua Xiaomo replied, her voice weary. "I don’t know how many tis I’ve told you. But maybe you still don’t hear clearly enough. Do you think what I’m saying isn’t clear enough?"
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