Vivian’s POV
Most days when Vivian went to the park near her ho, she did so in order to relax. But that evening that was not the case, tears running down her face, a smooth stone clutched in her hands. Vivian stared at the sea shell that Ryan had given to her back on the island.
One strike, that was all she would need in order to damage it. Once she could shatter it, she would be able to get rid of all of the other things that Ryan had given her. Then maybe, just maybe, she could start moving on.
When she had put the things that reminded her of Ryan away. Vivian had thought that it would be easier for her to keep moving if she could not see them. But that was proving impossible. Just knowing that they were there made it very difficult for her to ignore them.
Her eyes kept straying to the drawer that held them, and so nights the urge to take them out and hold them was just too strong. So she had to destroy them. Biting her bottom lip, she raised the stone and brought it down hard. But she stopped just shy of touching the shell. Hands trembling as though she were carrying a boulder, Vivian found herself unable to finish her task. Tossing the stone aside, she grabbed her shell and cradled it close. Whispering apologies to the inanimate object.
"I’m so sorry I wouldn’t do that, so sorry...so sorry..." She kept whispering. Not even caring that she looked like a crazy person.
Getting to her feet, Vivian began walking ho. The shell cradled close the whole way there. By the ti she let herself into her apartnt, she was no longer feeling bad for nearly destroying the shell.
Instead she was angry at herself for failing to do such a simple task. How was she ever supposed to move on if she could not get rid of the things Ryan had given her? Hanging on to all of those things was not doing her any favours. She had to find the strength to get rid of them.
***
Pencil in hand and a piece of paper before her, Vivian tried to sketch out so of the frustration that she was feeling.
Taking a breath, she let the pencil start moving. Her hands drawing whatever she was feeling. She had no idea how it happened, but she went from drawing grenades and old-school bombs with their fuses lit. To looking down and realizing that she was drawing Ryan Terrell’s eyes.
Throwing the pencil to the side and ripping the paper. Vivian scattered the pieces on the floor and stomped on them for good asure.
Still feeling angry, she made her way over to the kitchen and grabbed a tal bin. Picking up the pieces of paper, she threw them in, then grabbed a match and lit it. Seeing the paper catch fire was very satisfying.
Vivian almost had the urge to bring out other stuff to burn, the laminated dick drawing being it the top of the list.
But before she could turn into a pyromaniac that burned everything in sight. The smoke detector went off, the shrill sound snapping Vivian out of her dark thoughts.
After putting out the fire in the bin, she ran around her apartnt opening windows to let the smoke out. Then she got on top of her table and turned off the alarm. The mont that her feet touched the floor again she made her way to her couch and collapsed onto it.
Despite her relaxed pose, Vivian could still feel her frustrations threatening to bubble up and overwhelm her.
Looking over at her kitchen, she wondered if another round of cleaning-vegetable washing and all-would make her feel better. She highly doubted it, but given her current mood, she figured that inventing tasks for herself would not be such a bad idea. That was how Vivian found herself scrubbing pots that did not need to be cleaned at all.
She was working on making her last pot extra shiny when her phone began buzzing in her pocket. Shaking off the soap suds on her hands, she grabbed a cloth and began wiping all of the wetness away. That done, Vivian reached for her phone, accepted the call and brought it to her ear.
"Hello," She answered. She did not even have ti to take a breath before the person on the other end was speaking up.
"Oh, so your answering button does work, given the way that most of my calls were being ignored before they stopped going through completely. I had actually thought that it was broken," Her bad mood getting even worse, Vivian found herself glaring at the kitchen sink.
"What do you want, Bryce?" Even as she asked the question, Vivian knew that she was making a mistake.
Block, block, and then block so more.
That was the best way in which she had been dealing with Bryce, by not giving him the ti of day. But now here she was, prolonging a conversation with him. ’End the call and block this new number!’. The voices at the back of her head were screaming. But Vivian found herself unable to do so.
Like a moth to a fla, she allowed the interaction to continue knowing that she was going to get burned.
"I know that I have no right to ask you this, but can we et and talk for old ti’s sake?"
’No,’ That should have been her answer. But as Vivian stood there breathing, an awful thought occurred to her. Whatever was going to happen if she were to et up with Bryce, one thing was for certain. The man was going to hurt her. Wouldn’t it be better to go to him already knowing what was going to happen? At the very least it wouldn’t be like with Ryan where she had not seen the blow coming at all. With Bryce she always knew to expect hurt and suffering
Surely she could handle it better now.
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