Intermission – Shiku – Heartbreaking Realization – Part Three
It was still dark when I woke up in a haze of exhaustion.
That’s right. We did it last night. Did... Did we fall asleep like this? I was on my back in the middle, right? I didn’t have my face buried in Laika’s chest.
“Good morning, Lord Shiku.”
My heart stopped. I looked up and saw Laika’s gentle face. Her glistening eyes looked down, and she had the prettiest smile. It wasn’t just her... I was also being hugged from behind, and I t Leika’s soft gaze when I glanced over my shoulder.
“Good morning, my lord,” she whispered.
“I… Laika! Leika!” I imdiately sat up and wrapped my arms around them. The tears wouldn’t stop.
It’s a miracle… It’s really a miracle!!!
“We’re sorry… We’re so sorry…”
“Stop that! You’ve done nothing to apologize for! I’m just happy you’re here! It’s been so long…since I’ve heard you say my na… Thank you… Thank you…”
I didn’t want to let them go. I just didn’t. Not when they had returned to . It had been so long since I saw those fluffy ears twitch. Or those furry tails wag with anything less than euphoric glee.
“We must, Lord Shiku. We… We were trapped. After learning the fate of our family, we closed ourselves off. We didn’t want to think anymore,” said Laika. “Father’s tried for so long to get our family back into Lord ruria’s good graces. We were elated when we were told to serve a Soul Warrior. However… The Barkwoods are no more.”
“Reality’s scary. It’s uncomfortable and uneasy. My sister and I wanted to…stop thinking. Why should we embrace what’s trying to hurt us when we could just…stop?” asked Leika.
That’s just like what Renata said. It’s almost eerily similar, yet it doesn’t matter. They’re back.
“The darkness was comfortable. I had my sister. And we had each other. We could live without pain, and our bodies would act on our unconscious desires. It sounds odd, Lord Shiku, but it made sense to us,” argued Laika.
“Until we felt sothing warmth. It was like a beacon or lighthouse that cast a glimring shadow on our desired darkness. However... We couldn’t remain there. It wasn’t fair to you. And I’m sorry…”
“We didn’t care because we were afraid of getting hurt. Leika and I are the last of our nas. And we’re…not exemplary models of what a Barkwood should be. We don’t think like that anymore. Not when we have soone like you, Lord Shiku. You never gave up on us. You never abandoned us. You’ve always been there…when we needed you the most. When you had all the right to sell us and get soone more worthy to attend to you. You stood by us. And… And…”
“Please, let us remain with you, Lord Shiku. Please… We… We love you so much.”
Love, huh? I… That’s what I’ve been feeling. Love for them and love for my team.
“We’ll never be apart,” I whispered. “I never, ever thought about getting rid of you. You two have my heart, so let have yours. I love you.”
“Lord Shiku…” Laika sniffled. Leika whimpered. They jumped towards , knocking us to the ground. They cried into my chest as I rubbed their trembling backs. We shared our happy tears until the morning sun shone warmly through the window.
And even then…
I never wanted to let them go.
There’s only one thing to do, right? It’s what a man must do to take responsibility. I… Even if I feel this happiness is beyond soone like , I’ll make them happy.
“Eh? Lord Shiku, what…” The sisters were stunned as I stepped back and kneeled.
“I don’t have a ring,” I said, taking their hands. “And the environnt isn’t right. I don’t want to delay it. Laika, Leika? I wasn’t happy in my world. I hated it. It’s an ugly, horrible place that denied the right to be who I wanted. And I thought the sa was here. No, I still think it. There’s a difference, though. And that’s you. You’re in my life. I… I never thought I’d feel this way about anyone.” My voice quivered like an uneven ramp. And you two make this world worth living in. So… Will you… Will you two marry ? And allow to be your husband? I promise… I swear... I’ll do everything to make you two the happiest in the world.”
Benedict, Renata, and Sir Salim were waiting downstairs. They sat around a table and discussed business, only turning their heads when they heard footsteps. The water-loving girl’s jaw dropped upon seeing Laika and Leika. She ran over, almost falling, and scrambled as she hugged the two. “I knew it,” she said, crying with a smile. “I know you’d co back!”
“We’ve missed you, Lady Renata,” said Laika. Her voice shared a weakness with her sister. “It warms our hearts to see you again. And you as well, Lord Benedict and Sir Salim.”
We walked to the table and sat. Leika’s ears and tail kept wagging.
“You two seem to be in cheery spirits.”
“Of course we are, Lord Benedict. How could we not be elated when our spouse's love flows through us?”
“Spouse?!” coughed Renata. “Leika, does that…”
“Indeed! Our darling husband asked for our hand in marriage, and we agreed! And… Sister, should we start thinking of baby nas?”
“Baby?!” The steel-minded Sir Salim was caught off guard.
“After last night…” Laika blushed. “It is still too soon to tell, but we may be nurturing Lord Shiku’s children.”
“That’s amazing! I can’t even begin to say how happy I am for you!”
“Thank you, Lady Renata! Umm… I know…we…perhaps didn’t treat you…the best. Please forgive us. We may have been short with our words. And we’re sorry. We really are.”
“Hey, it’s water under the bridge.” She held their hands and couldn’t stop a few years from trailing her cheeks. “Oh, you must let be a bridesmaid at the wedding!”
“Bridesmaid?” Laika confusingly looked at her sister. “We’re unfamiliar with that.”
“It’s from our world. When two people are married, they’re accompanied by a small group. For the groom, it’s the best man and the groomsman. For the bride, it’s the maid of honor and bridesmaid.”
“Does this world have sothing similar?”
“I’m sure it does. The Barkwoods have their own ceremony. Our estate used to have a tree in the garden. It’s been there since Lord Sajun ruled Cridia. When a Barkwood is proposed to, the husband and wife are given twigs from the tree to care for and nourish until the wedding day. The twigs are wrapped together and buried after being announced as husband and wife. I’m certain the tree is no more, though. I doubt it survived the...”
“… I’m sorry. I didn’t an—”
“No, it’s not your fault,” interrupted Laika. “Leika and I have thought about it. We were alone in the darkness. We had ti to accept what happened. We loved our father and mother. We… We will want to bring pride to the Barkwood na. So, we’ll live. My sister and I won’t give up. We'll begin anew with our husband! Ceremonies never ant much to our father. We can’t rember the last ti soone took a twig from the tree. He used to say the world is full of beginnings. I rember his smile when he heard the news from Lord ruria. He said a new age was beginning for the family.”
“Hehe! That was all our father talked about for months. Mother used to roll her eyes, but she couldn’t hide her joy. No one could. Has…there been a funeral?”
I nodded. “Lord ruria spoke a few days after the incident, and that’s it. I'll request permission to visit your estate when we return from the mission.”
“Thank you. We can say our goodbyes. I want to introduce our husband-to-be to our ancestors.” Laika fluttered her eyes. She kissed on the cheeks and giggled like a schoolgirl.
“Now, I know we are elated, but let us return to the topic,” said Sir Salim. “Business first, and then pleasure. Shiku, do you recall our conversation?”
“About the dungeon?” He nodded. “We’re to leave within the week. Is that still the plan?”
“It is. I’ve begun preparations. We’ll act sooner if sothing happens.”
“Are you anticipating anything, Sir Salim?” asked Laika.
“No, Shiku. Rember my teachings. It’s better to prepare for everything than to let foolish bravery catch you unaware.”
It was…not so much lancholy as a spark of…stress-free living as the week rolled by. It took a day or two for it to really hit .
I was getting married. It was months away-- if not years-- and the two precious beauties standing by would be my lawfully wedded wives to hold, cherish, and support in sickness and health. Just looking at them…
It made happy to be alive even though I was afraid. Not because I fell in love. The fear originated from what the future probably held.
I…was going to be a father. It wasn’t set in stone, but after what we did the past seven nights…
It’d be a miracle if they weren’t pregnant.
Benedict had used his Soul Weapon to construct a floating cabin attached to the dock. His workshop gave him tools—a few I hadn’t heard of. The nearby trees were perfect for boats, so he repurposed them to give him and Renata a little privacy since their romance was sparking.
During dinner, Leika’s playful side erged as she teased Renata about her ‘future husband,’ which couldn’t be denied. I was positive those two had already gone all the way.
Sir Salim often stayed out. He bunked at the elder’s house to investigate his docunts. Our leader searched non-stop for even the dullest glimr of an answer and ca up with nothing after a week of intense sleuthing.
That wasn’t the best outco. We were Soul Warriors—Sir Salim was Lord ruria’s strongest 5-Star if you asured by fighting experience and level. Overconfidence could kill a mighty dragon, and we weren’t fools. Throughout the week, I went on expeditions around the dungeon to scout around its entrance. The monsters weren’t an issue to our ntor or after adjusting to their tempo. The silver lining was their berserk status. It ironically made them more predictable.
They didn’t think. They only had one rule—never cross the boundary—albeit we didn’t know what that boundary was other than so invisible circle that presumably radiated from the dungeon.
You could goad them into doing what you wanted, which made entrapping them easy.
Our temporary ho had undergone a noticeable, positive change. Benedict’s smithing services had enriched Aronza Village like never before. Tools that had grown old and brittle saw a new lease on life. The rusted ingots in a nearby shed had been cleaned and strengthened, and Benedict used those to make additional harpoon guns. When he wasn’t doing that, he was making hoes, scythes, and other farming equipnt for when the rainy season ended.
Renata progressed a ton, too. She learned to duplicate her harpoons on the third day. And she acquired six or seven new forms on the fourth. One was a trident with six prongs. Another was a two-headed harpoon with fangs. The third was a multi-headed trident with interlocking webbed daggers that encased whatever it hit in strings.
Renata quickly beca a local celebrity due to her friendliness. The children loved to watch her hunt. I often found her handing out wooden harpoons to anyone who wished to try. More than expected showed up, which was nice. Perhaps it was ironic, but most villagers couldn’t swim. They were taught to stay away from the river and only ventured far enough to get water since being swept away ant certain death. Renata, however, changed that and used her magic to calm the rapids enough to hold swimming classes, which were a popular hit.
She was almost unrecognizable. Really, she was. I was so happy for her, too.
“It seems tomorrow is the day, Lord Shiku,” whispered Laika. Her sweet voice was a lody to my ears. Our room still had no beds, but we didn’t need them when I was the pillow.
“Are you worried about ?”
“I think you know the answer. I know you’ll be fine. You and Sir Salim will return safely to us,” answered Leika.
I took their hands and held them to my cheeks. Their eyes glossed with affection. “You’ve been spending ti with Renata. Are you having fun?”
“We are. She’s teaching us how to prepare fish using thods from your world, Lord Shiku! Any woman worth her love must be able to handle herself in the kitchen using all techniques!” Laika smirked and puffed out her bountiful chest as she rubbed her soft, womanly assets against my bare skin. “I can scale, batter, and flash fry a fish in ten minutes!”
“Very impressive. Once we’re married… You can’t be my maids.”
“We know, Lord Shiku. My sister and I eagerly anticipate the day we can remove these uniforms and introduce ourselves as your wives! Until then, we must settle for being your betrothed.”
"I wouldn’t say it like that, Leika.”
“You know what I an. Being betrothed to soone who makes your heart beat like nothing else isn’t a complaint. Yet wouldn’t you like to say, ‘I’m Laika, Lord Shiku’s beloved wife,’ and not ‘I’m to be married to Lord Shiku in the future’?”
“Wouldn’t it be better to say, ‘I’m Laika, Lord Shiku’s beloved wife, and these are our beautiful children?’”
“It would! That’s a big improvent, Leika. And Lord Shiku can say, ‘These are my beautiful wives, Laika and Leika!’”
“I…can’t wait for the future. I used to fear it. And maybe I still do. I’m worried I won’t be a good husband. Or a good father. My father…” I didn’t have to say it. Laika and Leika knew what I had endured. I never wanted to be that monster. I never wanted to abuse my children because I couldn’t accept what they liked. Or made my children kill to ‘make them feel like a man.’
“You aren’t him, Lord Shiku. And you will never be him. Your father did not see the kindness you radiate.” Laika rubbed her cheeks against mine. Leika did the sa, their tails wagging faster than ever. A faint crimson ward their faces as heat grew in my crotch. We were naked—lying on a blanket they had sewn from unused fabric. “His treatnt of you is sothing we will never accept. And we know the man you hold inside. You’re a sweetheart, Lord Shiku. You’re handso and pretty. And your hobbies your father disliked? We don’t mind it. I…think I want to see you live as the man you want to be.”
“I agree with my sister,” said Leika. “Don’t deny who you want to be. Don’t be afraid to open up to us about anything you want, Lord Shiku. If I may be bold… I think it might be fun to go shopping together for clothes and accessories and ribbons we can share.”
“But he isn’t here.” The topic changed to him. Any confidence I felt… died. Weakness overtook . “I… You didn’t see the look in his eyes.”
“You had no choice. The order ca from Lord ruria. Refusal would’ve made her cast punishnt upon you. Your feelings prove your kind nature.”
“I wasn’t close to him. I didn’t know who Shuuta was… My mind always wanders and circles back to him. I have this baggage, Laika. Leika, I killed him. I can’t paint it any other way. I know it was orders. I know I had no choice.”
That’s what I tell myself, right? I’m just following orders.
“How… How can I get over it? Can I get over it? It’s been months. And… I’m… Just so afraid… That… I’ll…” It was hard to see. My voice was choked and sputtering.
“You stood by us when we needed it the most. So, let us help you. Share your worries with us, Lord Shiku. Speak your mind, and we shall listen. Ask for assistance, and we shall provide it for the one we cherish above all else.”
And…
I did…
This wouldn’t be the last ti I let my thoughts about him overflow. But to get it off my chest…
It felt good. I knew I had to get over it. One way or another… I couldn’t let Lord ruria’s forced order taint from the happiness I found.
I didn’t know if it helped, though. I didn’t want the night to end on a sour note. And neither did my future wives. It wasn't right. Why stain our new lives with the glimring shade of regret when we should’ve been happy?
Slowly, their hands went down my body, rubbing my chest, stomach, and thighs, and stopped at…that.
“Let us enjoy another night together, Lord Shiku. Let us wish you a safe return since you have two very eager wives-to-be waiting on you. Leika?” Laika extended her hand. Leika took it, and…
How many tis have I been inside her? This feeling will never get old.
I leaned up and hugged her. “I love you, Leika.”
“I love you, Lord Shiku.”
We displayed our adoration until midnight…and I swore…
I swore… This happiness I felt? I’d learn from it. And I’d replicate it for the many years ahead of us.
The morning of our departure reared its anticipatory head. Renata, Benedict, a few villagers, and my future wives wished us well as we left for the dungeon. We hopped across the river and jogged to the entrance. It was a decrepit building that seed suitable for a horror house. Neglectful cracks lined the stone walls as flickering torches guided us down the stairs into the lobby. I was surprised... Information about the dungeon was scarce, but we knew it was aquatic. We didn't expect it to go that deep underground. It held flowing rivers and sluice gates that needed to be opened and closed to progress.
Raising and lowering the water level was vital for progression. Multiple parties were allowed within the dungeon, so communication had to be prioritized to prevent a friendly face from being swept away by the powerful currents.
The place reminded of a sewer-filled aqueduct. It was cramped and narrow, soggy and moist. Water constantly rained from above, and the monsters were in a frenzy. They weren’t anything problematic to Sir Salim and . We carved our way through without issues until my ntor sensed my heart’s worries.
“You still cannot accept your happiness?” he asked after we rested for a break in a hidden room on the third basent. Water leaked from the crusty pipes and noisily dripped like an irritating itch.
“Yes. It’s sothing I’ve debated against myself. I talked with Laika and Leika about it last night. It’s not fair to them. I know I must get over it.” I was sure Sir Salim knew the details about Tokko and Shuuta, so I told him my past. “I watched the rigged trial. And I helped throw him into the void. I know I had no choice. Lord ruria’s…presence was overbearing. It felt like I’d have done anything she asked. Sir Salim… How do I rid myself of cowardice? I can still feel it. It’s Tokko. The inadequacy prevented from standing up to him. He used to see for . Or that’s what I thought since that’s not true anymore. I showed him what I thought society needed to see . I... I don’t like…being like this. I was so afraid of being who I wanted that I didn’t want Tokko to leave . So, I clung to him.”
“Your life has been hard,” Sir Salim said. “Forced to kill criminals… Suffering abuse while hiding who you wish to be…” Then my stomach churned. “The path ahead does not illuminate with what you seek. This world isn’t one to showcase kindness. It does not freely hand it out. Instead, you must grasp and fight for it. You must use this world’s rule of might is right and carve your place. You have two lovely ladies awaiting your safe return, my friend. I need not say anymore, so I’ll end it here. Never underestimate the value of a woman’s wisdom. You have allies and help wherever you look. Others aren’t lucky to have as many blessings as you do.”
“Blessings?”
“Is that not the right word?”
“No—it might be. You’re right. I do have things to be thankful for. You know… Before this… When I confronted Tokko in his office… I thought I was going to die. He’s the type to remove a diseased arm before allowing it to heal. So, I was afraid for Renata. In our world… You had to be useful. You had to bring sothing to the table. In theory, there weren’t any free rides. You were solely judged on your rit and nothing else. So… Finishing Renata’s missions went against that. He summoned his weapons, you know.”
“…”
“I was…this close to dying Sir Salim.” I made a pinching motion with my thumb and index. “But he spared . And if I’m honest? I…don’t know why. I really don’t. I’m glad I’m alive. It’s like you said. I have sothing to fight for. I never had that before.”
“Then the fear you sense is normal. Everyone is afraid of losing what they hold dear to their heart. For soone who had nothing and obtained sothing? The new feeling can be difficult to understand.” Sir Salim looked at the campfire and rested a hand on his spear. He ca from a different culture. His concerns differed from mine. There were over 500 years between us, yet he empathized with . That kindness was severely lacking in this world.
I’m glad he was chosen to be our ntor.
I’d kept my true self hidden for so long that this…ss of a man I was felt like the one buried beneath the skin and muscle.
“You don’t…think it’s strange for a man to want to wear a dress? Or put on make-up?”
“Rephrase it. Why should soone be hysterical when they see an individual partaking in a hobby that does not interfere with their life? I wish I could say I have always felt that way, but that would be a lie. And I don’t want to lie to my comrades. Had we t when I was younger, I would’ve turned my nose and judged you. I’ve grown during my ti here. I’ve matured after enduring more hardships than a man from our world would ever experience. I see things for what they are, not what I thought my bias should see them as. Do what makes you happy, my friend. And don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”
“That makes feel better. Thank you, Sir Salim.”
Sir Salim nodded, and we ended the night in silence.
Morning arrived, and we broke bread and had water before continuing. Breakfast felt more refreshing than usual. My worries were there—but I wasn’t letting them chain . That wasn’t to say I was…accepting of my sins. I’d probably never get over them. I believed I had heard a saying.
What happened to wasn’t my fault, yet it’s my responsibility to heal it. That’s what I must do. And I won’t do it alone.
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