While Mila conversed with Quella and Seraphina around the campfire, I went with Tilde and Tris to look after Niva. The surgery had long since been finished, yet she was still soundly asleep. Although I could not claim to know what kind of slumber she was experiencing.
It could’ve been pleasant—with fond mories surrounding her to ease her into awakening.
Or it could’ve been awful—nightmares to punish her for what she thought were her failures.
I hoped it was the forr. The girl was strong—more stubborn than most who had endured her hellish past, but she did not deserve to be hard on herself.
Primrose had exhausted herself with worry, so we convinced her to recuperate with a nap. Lei joined her, the sli wiggling softly between her arms as she ward her summoner. Primrose’s lethargy quickly escorted her to sleep.
“A lot has happened, huh?”
“More than a lot,” replied Tilde.
“I…talked with the curse.”
“…”
“It happened almost imdiately after Surtr entrapped in the coffin. It manifested and taunted , and we fought…and fought…and fought… It showed what I had forgotten—things the curse will never let forget.”
“Then I’ll do the sa for the happy mories. Rember, you saved lives. The you-know-who would’ve left a wake of bodies behind. She’d have killed all who approached. You’re not her. And we’ll never let you be her. You have us, okay? Little Miss AI, , and Master.”
“I don’t want to be alone again,” I confessed. “I never wish to return to that person who sees people as slaves to be used… who sees children as bags of flesh to carve like—”
“Hey!” Tilde struggled to move her arm as she thumped against the helt. “Stop that.”
“… I’m sorry.”
“It’s one step at a ti, Lady Sekh. No one is asking for the impossible. Please, rely on us.”
“Thank you, Tris. Your words are kind.” I stopped and continued. “I have a request. Could you drop the ‘Lady’ and call Sekh?”
“If that’s what you wish, it shall be done.”
“Eh?” Tilde ford a funny face. “That’s it? No arguing back?”
“Why should I? I figured this would happen once Sekh dropped ‘my liege.’ Besides, forgoing an honorific makes it seem like we’re that much closer. It’s a little positive for . It's also sothing I was secretly hoping for!” Tris flashed a charming smile.
“Well, you have a point. Anyway, guess I’m the only one to call her Master.” Tilde tried to stretch as much as she could. “Seems like and her have a little sothing sothing going on, you know? You’re not jelly, are ya?”
“Mmnn… Acting so haughty? Your first ti with Mila had you acting like a quivering virgin. You talk big about your sexual exploits, but you sure fooled with your innocence.”
“It’s different, you know! When you’re small, it’s like… Hey, you’re a fairy. Your bed is about the sa size as a hand towel. But when you’re big and tall? When you have the whole bed? And there’s a whole lot more of your lover to grab onto? Then yeah. It’s different. If I recall correctly… You acted like during your first ti. So… Hey, it’s the quivering virgin calling the quivering virgin back. Anyway… Did ya hear?”
“About?”
“My exclusive 100-years, of course!” Tilde puffed her chest with pride.
“You deserve it, don’t you? For working tirelessly for so long.”
“Aww… I was hoping for… I dunno, a different response? I felt like teasing you. Ah—That’s it! Okay, so I’m still surprised you’ve softened to Mila. It was Master, then my liege, and now Mila? So… What’s next?” The wheelchair-bound fairy grinned like a misbehaving cat. “Honey Bun? Sweetie Pie? Baby Girl? Sweetheart? Darling? Fruity Pie? Honey Suckle?”
“You can joke about all you want,” I said, chuckling, letting her tease . I loved these monts, and I wouldn’t trade them for anything. These back-and-forth bits were how we showed our fondness for each other.
“Maybe, but it’s not a joke, Sekkie. I know what you really want.”
Of course. Tilde likely desires the sa.
“You’re right. That is what I desire. I know approaching the subject won’t hurt. I’m close enough to Mila to know she probably wants sothing similar. Does it make sense to bring it up? Especially now, when we’re riding to confront Gloria. The timing isn’t right. Our pace will slow down. I should wait until we’ve accomplished our goals.”
“Oh, Sekh…” Tilde gently grabbed my hand, and Tris cradled the other one. They squeezed, and I squeezed back. “I don’t really have any advice for you this ti. You’re a grown woman. I know what your heart must feel, but only you can really understand it. For the record… I don’t think you’re necessarily wrong about waiting. I’d do the sa if I was you.”
“Will it…change our relationship?”
“Eh? Why would it? You’ve seen the mories. We discussed we’re not just dating her—we’re dating each other. It’s a… Well... I think I called it a throuple, but it should be called a quadrouple since we're like four peas in a pod. Maybe a power quad? Anyway, we’re in it for the long haul. All for one and one for all, ya know? Master wants us to go on little dates with each other. I want the sa, too. What we have is special. It makes our relationship unique and that much stronger. So, no. Little Miss Worriso shouldn’t worry about this. Take it from . I am older than you. Probably. Maybe…”
“Oh, such an ancient being that’s so incredibly old must be wise beyond her years,” joked Tris.
“Hmm… Yep. You’re damn right I am! Don’t you forget it, missy. Eh? What’s with that look, Sekh?” Tilde touched a finger to my helt.
“Don’t tell you can see through my helt.”
“No. I can’t. But you’re lost in thought about sothing. I’m a people person, you know. So… What’s up? What’s bothering you?”
“My family. The one this incarnation was born to.”
How long has it been since they entered my mind?
“When I think about what I want… What would my mother and father think? What about the maid that joined their union? What would they have done?”
“What do you think they would have done?” asked Tris. “What specifically are you referring to?”
“I don’t know. It’s just… I can’t rember their faces or nas. I wish I could, yet I’m only picturing blank images. No—that’s not true. I see my father’s sword clearly."
“Bane’s Edge.”
“Yes. That one, Tris. He was so proud of it. I think I rember my father wanting to teach . That sword defined his legacy and helped him beco famous. It’s silly of to think it’s survived a thousand years, but if it exists? I want to find it. Not to use it. Soone like shouldn’t sully a great blade like it. I want to bury it, except I can’t rember my birth village’s location. Instead, I’ll find a nice adow. Maybe one overlooking a cliff? And I’ll build a grave to bury them. I’ll pray they’re at peace…and if they're gazing down at … I’ll ask if they’re proud. Mother… Father… The maid… I…” My heart twinged. I bit my lips, and as much as I want to shake away those mories…
I couldn’t. Because those were all I had left for this incarnation. I wanted this one to be the last. When I next died… I desired it to be the end of this godforsaken curse.
“Still, that’s my dream,” I said, squeezing their hands for support. “It’s in two parts—and it’s the second. It’s currently impossible, so it may never be realized. The first? That’s within reach. I can see the day, Tris. Tilde, I honestly think that mont will be the happiest day of my life. However… if you ask any of my victims… They’d proclaim that soone like would never deserve happiness. Maybe I’d have agreed a few months ago. But after confronting the curse just… I don’t know... It strengthened my desire to be happy. I want to be happy. I want to smile. I want to laugh and cry from joyfulness. Even… Even if that makes selfish, I want to be selfish for your and Mila’s sake because you three want to find pride in living. I can’t betray that because you wouldn’t want that for .”
“Holy shit… You’re definitely not the sa.”
“Affirmative. The Sekh from before the initial visit to Aetos Village would have never said that.”
“I know—Hey—” I quietly exclaid when Tris hugged . Tilde couldn’t freely move, so her embrace was lopsided. “The armor’s spiky. Don’t let it hurt you.”
“Eh, Master can heal if I get cut. Just shaddup and take the hug! I love you, Sekh!”
“I love you, too!” chirped Tris.
“Ah.” I softly smiled beneath this precious helt and hugged them. “I love you guys, too.”
I really, really love them. Don’t worry, Erin. We can hold tails once I return. We’ll have that ‘super aweso day,’ and do whatever you want. And Irisa… You’ve grown so much, too. You’re taking charge of your life and living for yourself to find your own path. That’s admirable…
I…
I couldn’t wait to see the ones I’d grown to cherish…
*****
***** Niva's PoV *****
How many tis had I died?
How many tis have my prosthetics been ripped off like a child pulling apart a doll?
I knew the enemies I saw were fabricated by my mind. They were everywhere—all exact copies of the foes I faced with Quella and the others outside the forest. Except there was nowhere to run. Our surroundings were black and devoid of anything except this bloodied, frozen arena that took inspiration from Barbil’s frigid environnt.
“You won't get this ti!” What use was a shout when you couldn’t back up your words? I couldn’t duck the tal club and was thrown back. Another jumped on my chest and cruelly ripped my arms…
I was dead for the umpteenth ti.
But I was back--- it was like everything had reset, and I was facing down that army for what felt like the thousandth ti.
Yet I died. Primrose wasn’t with , and my staff wasn’t enough to wipe them out. The group taunted when I was strung up and cut from neck to belly, my innards spilling like a gutted fish. The pain was there, but it would be over soon. The agony doubled, the anguish taking turns pulling my prosthetic leg, and I died imdiately after.
Except I was back--- in the sa place—facing the sa ones I’d failed to kill.
“Is this all a disgusting freak like you can handle?” The voice froze solid. It belonged to soone who shouldn’t be alive. I looked up and saw a phantom Noelia floating. Her smug expression made growl as I gritted my teeth. “You couldn’t kill . A coward like yourself can’t amount to anything without leaving the dirty work to the others. You didn’t save yourself—that chira took pity. You didn’t get those limbs—she paid soone to make them. You didn’t get Primrose because you were special—Aetos wanted to turn you against them. Can’t you tell? You’ve accomplished nothing. You have no rit.”
“Ohohohoho!”
“…” I had no words for Gloria’s phantom form. It appeared like a floating apparition.“ Does the cat have your tongue, girl? The world embodies the strong. The weak deservingly give up everything to their superiors. Isn’t that what you’re doing? You cannot compare to the chira, so you turn over like a loyal hound to show her your belly. She treats you like a pet. Why else would she continue to have you in her service? The one who has the Dark Lord of Tyranny and a 5-Star Soul Warrior has no need for soone of your lacking talent. You’ve accomplished nothing by yourself. Tell , Niva. What have you done with your life? What can you look back on with pride that hasn’t involved anyone’s help?
“…”
The ghastly form of the salitos’s family head appeared behind her, scowling, grinning, and laughing at .
“You cannot answer, can you? Because the answer is nothing,” said Gloria. “You’re so inconsequential to this world that your life or death shall not affect the flow of anything. You’re forgettable—a magnet for pity because you’re useless to everyone you’ve t.”
This wasn’t real. I knew it wasn’t. I wasn’t that Niva anymore—the one who thought herself the worst. I… Mila kept around because she liked . I didn’t have to prove anything to her—just to myself. Those insecurities were manifesting, and I wouldn’t fall for them!
“Go away!” I scread, raising my staff.
The illusions laughed at and vanished, and the army I had fought and failed to defeat so many tis charged like a stampede…
*****
*****
“Ahh…” Suddenly… I wasn’t in my dreams. My mind hadn’t been my prison. I was in a tent of so kind, and as I instinctually moved my arms and legs…
I can feel everything… Another surgery, then?
I…didn’t know what to feel as I sat up, the covers gently falling to my lap as I touched my robe.
I should’ve been happy to be alive.
Yet…
A small part felt disappointed. It was a part I never wanted to acknowledge because it no longer defined . After seeing and experiencing miracles I could only dream of…
Why did the I used to be stubbornly cling to what I wanted to beco? Why couldn’t I outrun that coward and embrace this new ?
Primrose was asleep to my left, curled into a ball as she hugged Lei between her arms. Slowly, I got out of bed and nearly stumbled, but I caught myself with my nearby staff.
Easy, Niva… Easy… There’s the flap.
I was like a turtle—limping a little at a ti while trying to be quiet. Upon leaving the tent…
I realized it was on the back of a wagon. I saw another large one in the distance. There were a few more tents and what looked like smoke erupting skyward, but I couldn’t tell if anyone was there.
“I don't recomnd descending alone in your condition.” A voice caused to look down.
“You knew I was awake?”
“Affirmative,” replied Tris. She extended a hand, and I used her assistance to get down, stumbling again. “Please don’t over-exert yourself." Tris gently grasped my shoulder. She looked in the eye, her voice silent for a few seconds. “Nothing’s out of place. Your vitals are slightly elevated, but that’s to be expected. Co, would you like to see the others?”
“Y—Yes.”
Tris slid her hand down my arm, then gently gripped my fingers while escorting . We walked around the big tent. As I expected—I saw Mila, soone in lion-like armor who had to be Sekh, and soone who looked like Mila. That had to be Seraphina, but where was Tilde? Wasn't she here?
“You’re thinking about Tilde?” asked Tris as Mila waved.
It’s like she can read my mind.
“She’s fine. The nerve damage spread to her body, yet nothing is permanent. She shall return to normal after a week or two of recovery."
“Where is she?”
“Asleep. Tilde said, and I quote, ‘A head maid could get used to being pampered like this. I think I’m gonna hit the hay and wake up refreshed and rejuvenated to take on the world.’ She lasted ten seconds before slumber stole her away like a phantom thief.”
“… I’m glad she’s okay.”
“As we all are, Niva. Yet our feelings also apply to you. Look at my lord’s face. She’s so relieved to see you.”
“…” I didn’t reply. Instead, I focused on making it to the campfire.
“How are you feeling?” asked Mila. She tapped the seat beside her and helped sit down.
“I don’t really know.”
“You’re Niva, yes? I’m Seraphina, but you can call Sera. It’s nice to finally et you.”
“Umm… It’s nice to et you, too.”
“Are you hungry?” asked Sekh. “You’ve been asleep for a while.”
“Sekh is right. You must eat to regain your strength. Please, do that first, and we’ll talk after,” Tris said. She handed a bowl of chicken soup and a table. I looked at the food and grabbed the spoon. My strength was there, except…
The spoon was heavier than anything else I’d picked up. I struggled to eat, and my body shivered like I was back in Barbil.
I just broke down. I dropped the spoon and…and I just cried. I wanted to shout. And scream. And just…let it all out… Sothing inside wanted to explode-- it couldn’t be contained.
Suddenly, Mila tightly held . My struggles were instinctual, but I didn’t want to push her away. My body did that automatically, and I didn’t stop until she told sothing I desperately wanted to hear.
“I won’t tell you not to cry because that’s wrong. Cry if you want. Scream if you wish. Let it all out, Niva. There’s a barrier of silence around us.”
“…”
So…
I did…
I scread…
I cried…
I shouted…
I…
I unleashed all my innate resentnt towards myself, and no one judged for it.
*****
*****
“Do you feel better?” Mila asked, ferrying the spoon to my lips—I couldn’t muster the strength to hold it steady. The soup’s shaky surface reflected my reddened eye. It was sore and tender, but that would fade by morning.
“A little,” I replied, savoring the creamy broth. It was just a little too hot, and I couldn’t help but laugh. “This reminds of when we t. It was after the first night. We were at the table. I couldn’t move anything, and you fed .”
“Mmmn. I ssed up. I’m sorry about burning your tongue.”
“It didn’t hurt that much, haha… Umm… Sera? I’m sorry. I—”
“I won’t have a hero of Aetos Village apologize, Niva,” she sharply said, scooting closer. “I know what you did, and I know your sacrifices.” She grabbed my hand and cradled it like a newborn. “That’s why I won’t allow you to finish what you wish to say because you’re my hero—one who risked her life to defend what’s so important to .”
“A real hero wouldn’t be as weak as .” Imdiately, I winced after saying that. Mila furrowed her brow as Tris gave a look. I couldn’t see Sekh’s face, yet I knew what expression she made. “I know I shouldn’t talk like that anymore. I do. But it’s hard. I worked so hard… Lord Aetos trained us… Keeth even gave my mobility. I’m the strongest I’ve been, and... And it didn’t matter…”
“That’s not your fault. Those enemies took your buffs and turned them into debuffs. You were fighting at a severe disadvantage and still held your own,” argued Sera. “That’s sothing to be prideful about.” She paused and continued. “If you’ll allow it… Permit to beco your teacher.”
“Huh?”
“Lord Aetos said he taught you and Primrose-- as much as he could in the short ti he had. I consider it an honor to train the summoner and spirit chosen and accepted by the Spirit Lord of Nature and the Eagle Yew. Still… There may be more we can do…”
I was curious about this ‘more,’ but I didn’t press the topic. “I want to be confident,” I admitted. “I’m… I’d be lying if I said I’m still confident.”
“I’ll help you gain that confidence,” said Sera.
“You’ll have my assistance, too,” added Sekh. Mila and Tris echoed their kind words, and it hit again… just how thankful I was to have them.
.
Soone like …
…to have people like this…worry and care so much…
That…made want to try even harder.
“Summoner?! Where are you?!” I turned around and saw Primrose rush into view. She skidded to a top, looked around, and nervously bit her nails. Lei bounced on her head and made a squeaky noise when he found . “Summoner!” Primrose turned my way and ran until she had her arms around . “Why didn’t you wake up?! I was so worried!”
“You’re were sleeping so soundly that… No, that’s not an excuse. I don’t really have one. I’m sorry, Primrose.”
Lei jiggled and squird into our embrace. “I’m sorry, too.” The sli cried, but Lei didn’t sound that upset. I was sure he forgave .
Primrose began feeding instead of Mila, and I asked where we were going. “The capital? I guess that’s only logical, huh? My past is approaching faster than I thought. I…want to face it. I don’t know if I can. Am I strong enough to confront Gloria and the salitos family?”
Sera said she knew what happened to . “Mila told while you were recovering. I’m sorry for the hell you’ve endured by their hands.”
“I was passed around from family to family,” I said. I didn’t know why I continued this rough topic. Wouldn’t it have been better to clamber shut? “The salitos never beat , but they rarely, if ever, spoke to . They only saw as a tool to summon and confined to solitary loneliness without any acknowledgnt.”
“That’s so cruel…” Seraphina ford two fists. Primrose supported .
“Even if soone saw looking out from the window… They acted like I was less of a person and more of a tool. A tool that lost her usefulness when the spirits refused to answer her summons.”
Even now… I see those people… Standing with weapons raised to kill the poor spirits unlucky enough to answer my call. And for what reason? Torture? To fulfill so sick ga or thrill?
“Abuse is still abuse no matter how you fra it. Gloria, that cruel family, the ones who hurt you, and Hymn will pay for this injustice. This I swear to you, Niva. They will face their couppance.” The na triggered a faint mory.
“Have you heard of it?” asked Sekh.
“Yes. Gloria said it in passing, I think. I didn’t think much of it, though.”
“That’s the organization that had you before the salitos family. Gloria had so tracking compass or sothing when she ca to Ria with Arella, her bodyguard.”
“That’s right, my lord. She complained about the device because she believed it had malfunctioned.”
[Status Cloak] saved that day.
“I cannot promise everything, but Hymn will destroyed,” said Mila. “That is non-negotiable.”
“Indeed. The wretched organization shall be wiped from this world with the flas of ruin. What happened to you shall not happen to anyone else. Do you have a plan?” Sera looked at Tris.
“A couple,” said Tris. “Although nothing is set in stone until I acquire more information.”
“I’m curious to hear what you co up with. Anyway… It is getting late.” Sera stretched and stood. She waved her staff and created a tiny crystal that hovered about forty feet away. “That’s a teleportation beacon. It holds our coordinates.”
“Are you leaving?”
“For the mont,” Sera answered Sekh. “I must check in with Lord Aetos to see how the village is fairing. Don’t worry. I’ll return before breakfast. Ah, Niva. I’ll discuss sothing with Lord Aetos that may accelerate your training. I’m certain I’ll return with good news, so please look forward to it!” She smiled, wiggling her ears.
“We’ll wait for your return,” said Mila. She waved Sera goodbye as she raised her staff and vanished in a volley of soft green lights.
“Now that she’s gone,” said Tris. “We can catch you up to speed on what has happened.”
I learned about Remy, the fight within the Spiritual Grove, how the Eagle Yew used all it had to help Mila, and how Mila won over her adversary, accomplishing the first step of her revenge.
“Make no mistake. The Eagle Yew is not gone.” Tris opened a [Skyview] window of Surtr, who sat in a nearby tent. A little girl with blond hair laid against his flaming fur. “She reincarnated herself much like Sekh.”
“The village is gone, though.”
“It is, but it has not ended. It’ll live, Niva. Aetos will create another village once he can plant his roots,” said Mila.
“…” I soon finished dinner, and Primrose handed warm tea that soothed my dry throat.
“Does it make a coward if I’m afraid?” I suddenly asked.
“You should already know the answer,” replied Sekh.
“I guess I do. Cowardice doesn’t automatically an fear. I think...I said I wanted to stand by you when you confront Gloria, but… Right now… And I know this is a problem, but I’ve never felt weaker or more pathetic than I do now.” Mila opened her mouth. “I know. I know. I know what you’re about to say. I promise I do. I… Tilde said becoming stronger takes ti, but what do you do when you don’t want to be patient? The answer is to be patient. Still…”
I ford two fists and gripped them, shaking like a nervous ss. I tried my hardest to smile because the answer was there. It had always been there. I was surrounded by the smartest, strongest, most capable people... “Tis like these… I have to be positive... Because I’m not the old . It’s fine to cry. It’s fine to scream as long as I strive for the future and look at the coming dawn…but that’s so hard, Mila. It feels like it’s the hardest thing to do…”
Mila rubbed my head and smiled. Sekh touched my hand, and Tris brushed my hair from my eyes as Lei rubbed against . I already knew what they would say. They were aware of that as well.
This was a situation. The problem ca from within, and the solution had to co from within. I could get all the help in the world, yet it wouldn’t amount to anything if I wasn’t willing to put in the effort.
“We’ll get stronger together,” whispered Mila. “Prim, can you take her to the tent?” Primrose nodded and stood.
“Sleep is the best cure for a mind like yours,” said Tris. “I promise you’ll feel better in the morning.”
I took Primrose's hand, but not before stumbling to Mila and hugging her. Sekh—even though she was the feared Dark Lord of Tyranny…
She didn’t throw away. She didn’t push back— no, she gently rubbed my back. “I’m proud to call you an ally,” she whispered. “You’re a precious friend. You’ve suffered in a world that has tried so hard to kill you, yet you’re still here. You’re a survivor, Niva. Don’t ever forget that.”
Sekh’s tone was true. She really, truly ant those heartfelt words.
I hugged Tris, and the three wished a good night’s rest as I hobbled away with Primrose and Lei.
Only I could defeat my biggest enemy—myself. I could get help, assistance, and advice, yet the effort had to co from within.
The first step was to confront part of my past.
I’ll force you to look at , Gloria. I won’t… I will not let fear stop .
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