"Kaelith, are you alright?" Elena asks when I appear in the castle’s teleportation circle, it’s obvious to anyone that I’ve been crying.
"I’m fine, I need to go to my room," I say hurriedly as I run off, I’m not in the mood for anything, I don’t want to talk to anyone and I don’t feel like satisfying my lust, I’m too sad for that.
Now that Her Majesty has grown, she and I no longer have the sa physical appearance, and this fills with pain.
If I’m different from Her Majesty, it ans that I’m now useless just like my sisters who ca before , now I’m no different from those failures.
I run to my room, I can’t help but be filled with sadness, so I can only think of going to my room to try to calm down. Arriving at my room in the castle, I lock the door and go to the secret passage.
"..." I wipe my tears and sared makeup as much as I can while using healing magic so I don’t look like I’ve been crying, I can’t show myself as weak in front of my sisters.
If I do this, all the morale I’ve built up will be shattered and they may just decide to rebel, even though if they rebel, have no chance of winning since I’m much more powerful than them.
As soon as the passage opens, I see the dark stairs that lead to an underground area, I start to descend the stairs, trying to maintain the powerful image I’ve always had without showing any weakness.
Maybe if I go see them, I can cheer myself up a bit, although I’m not sure if that will work, usually it would work and I’d be happy to "play" with them, but now the fear of being just a failure like them haunts .
As a homunculus, my appearance won’t just change and grow like Her Majesty’s, and because of my creation, I can’t be changed anymore, so I’m basically stagnant in this form.
For to change a little would be very difficult and there’s no guarantee that I’d end up like Her Majesty, I could end up totally different, after all, my current body was the result of years of research and effort.
It’s not sothing that can be changed just because I want to look like Her Majesty again, I wonder if I’ll be discarded, now that I’m a failed doll that can no longer fulfill the role of a temporary substitute.
My reason for existing has ended, perhaps I should end my life right here? But I belong to Her Majesty, I don’t have the right to kill myself without her permission.
So I can’t even end my failed and miserable existence, it seems I’m becoming more useless by the second.
Descending the stairs and reaching the door at the end, I can already hear the sound of my sisters talking, so moaning in pain and so on with various different sounds, I take a deep breath to calm down and open the door.
"..."
Absolute silence occurs at the sa mont, no one other than enters here, so the sound of the door is like a trigger for everyone, automatically warning them that I’ve arrived, I look at the room.
Seeing various girls with long black hair and red eyes, all attempts to create soone similar to the description of the goddess of the abyss about her daughter, of course, all are imperfect failures that don’t look exactly like her.
And these are the ones who survived, most died in the testing phase and so others were killed by while I was having fun and ended up taking the ga to the extre without thinking about how much they could endure.
"..." I look at them all, most tremble with fear and look at with terror, fearing they’ll be chosen as my toy of the mont, others look at with pure hatred as if they want to kill on the spot, but know they can’t.
There are a few who look at with lust, they are the ones who have learned to find pleasure in suffering so that they wouldn’t end up like the others and thus are the ones who receive the best treatnt.
"What are you doing here so early?" The most daring of them all asks, but her body trembles with fear, she is one of the few who haven’t been completely broken yet.
"I... just ca to see you..." They look at as if I’m a lying aberration, since whenever I co here it’s to beat, rape or use them in my fun gas, among other similar things.
"This ti it’s true, I didn’t co to do anything to you..." I just needed to see how they are greater failures than , so I can feel a little better about myself for becoming a failure.
Because when I see them, I can at least say that I am like a reflection or mirror of Her Majesty’s forr form.
I just sit on the floor in an isolated corner and watch my sisters, rethinking the value of my existence.
I’m really confused, I’ve never felt so inferior to others before, it’s as if a piece of my purpose for existing has been completely torn from , and all I can do is wait.
"..." My sisters just watch without approaching , as if the act of approaching would cause them problems, but I won’t do anything, I don’t have the will to do it.
I just wish I could just stand here in silence, just waiting to see if anything happens.
"Kaelith, I know you’re there...could you co out?" I hear a voice speaking through the door, few know how to enter here, so it must be Calypso who has invaded my room even with the door locked.
"What do you want?"
"..."
"Could you co out, I know you’re sad" I’m a good friend of Calypso, but I’m not in the right headspace to deal with anything.
"You didn’t tell that Her Majesty had changed" I only found out a month ago, since I hadn’t seen her recently, I ended up finding out about this quite late.
"Because we knew you would be upset by this, but you’re not useless, Kaelith, Her Majesty still needs you even if it’s not to replace her."
"..." That doesn’t matter as much, I wasn’t created just to serve, I was created to be a substitute for Her Majesty when necessary.
Without this purpose, it’s as if my existence is useless, if my sisters were discarded for being useless, then why wouldn’t I also be discarded? And if I’m not discarded, then doesn’t that an I was wrong to discard my sisters as toys?
"Kaelith, if you think your life is useless, then why not find another purpose for it? Why not take care of Her Majesty’s future children? I’m sure you could do it."
"...A new...purpose?" I don’t care if my sisters hear this revealing conversation, but I’ve never thought about a new purpose for my existence.
"But..." I’m not sure about this, can I really have a new purpose? And if I can have a new purpose, does that an I was wrong in treating my sisters as toys for my pleasure?
"Kaelith, I know what you’re thinking, it’s natural that for you, your ’failed’ sisters now generate doubts for you, so why not give them a new purpose instead of just toys?"
"If you give them a purpose, well...I think it ans you can also have your own purpose for existing, after all, at so point your sisters had the purpose of being your toy."
"What’s preventing you from having a new purpose now? And give them a good new purpose."
"...Can I really have a new purpose?" I murmur to myself as I look at my sisters who listen to the exchange attentively, the fear is notable in the gaze of most.
’Can I really have a new reason to exist and give them reasons to exist?’
"Kaelith, I know you care a little about your sisters, after all, you may have done horrible and disgusting things to them, but you only turned them into your toys so they wouldn’t be destroyed as failures after your success."
"I’m sure Her Majesty won’t mind if your sisters start working in the castle as helpers."
"..."
"..." As I look at my sisters, I think about what Calypso is telling .
"Calypso...can I really have a new purpose in life?" I’ve never had such an insecure tone of voice before, I’ve always been confident and bold, knowing my worth, but now that my worth has vanished, I feel small and insignificant.
"Yes, you can, just like your sisters. Why don’t you start by trying to be kind to your sisters? Until Her Majesty has children, focus on being better to your sisters to practice."
"..." I look at my sisters, who seem extrely insecure about this conversation that will decide their lives. I get up and go to my sister who is most afraid of .
"W-Would you...like to...leave here?" I ask with extre difficulty, I’ve never tried to be nice to them before, my sister who is very afraid of cries, but nods.
’They...really believe they can be more than just my toys...’ This is shocking, I expected her to refuse or be too afraid to try to accept leaving here.
"Sisters...do you really believe you can...leave here?" I ask incredulously, and most of them simply nod despite their fear.
"..." I go to the door and open it, I never expected to leave here shortly after entering, I don’t know who told Calypso that I was feeling bad, but I’m grateful.
"...You can...leave..." I never imagined freeing them like this, they quickly co to try to get out of this dark basent, they’ve never seen the sunlight, never eaten anything aningful, and never had affection.
I wonder if I can really take good care of them to learn, I who only used them as toys see this as sothing strange.
"..." I look at Calypso, who smiles at as all my sisters start climbing the stairs.
"You said that to make them hate less, didn’t you?" I don’t think I saved them from being discarded because I liked them, at the ti I just wanted a convenient toy.
"Try to be nice to them, they’re your sisters, I know they can forgive you." Calypso has co to this door a few tis, but has never entered this dark and foul-slling room.
"Thank you...for your words" I thank Calypso for coming to help .
"No problem, we’re friends, I know you’d do sothing to cheer up if I was sad." She says as she climbs the stairs with , I soon see my sisters out there.
They have an expression I’ve never seen before, maybe it’s happiness? They were never happy in that basent.
"Okay, Calypso...I’ll be nice to them, and I’ll try to make a new purpose for my life." I say gratefully for her coming to help.
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