Hao Xuan was surrounded by tentacles from all sides and by the time they receded he was in an entirely different place.
"ARGH!"
The pain rampaging throughout his body was instantly halved and further continued to lessen in intensity. His senses returned one by one and he found himself to be standing in a field of wheat with the sun setting behind some snow-capped mountains to the west.
He slowly reached out and pulled on one of the stalks, watching as it rolled down his hand.
"It's real...?" he questioned absentmindedly, unsure if this was his present or not.
A gust of wind blew in from the east side making the entire field sway back and forth. It was cold, colder than it had any right to be.
Hao Xuan looked down at his body to inspect himself but his mind still couldn't tell the difference. In fact, he was lost in it entirely.
He was wearing a white shirt made from some thick coarse material that rested heavily over his shoulders. His hands were full of calluses and scars from years of fieldwork.
His body ached in most places while others held no feeling at all.
"Are you ready?"
A voice asked again from behind. It was the first time he was 'hearing' the question but it wasn't the first time it had been asked.
"It's time."
Hao Xuan took in a deep breath and felt it move throughout his body.
"I'm tired...so very tired."
It was meant to be a thought but he had vocalized it unconsciously.
"It's too early to be tired."
He was beginning to recognize that voice. It had been some time since he had heard it but that gentle tone could not be mistaken for anyone else.
He slowly turned around to face her. Xu Qing was standing just outside of his reach, looking at him with an expression that could only be defined as repentant.
"I'm tired," he repeated.
"I know," she whispered.
"You used me, just like all the others."
She looked away unable to meet his gaze.
"It had to be done. But I will be with you, I will guide you as much as I can."
He chuckled upon hearing her words, "So you could play with my heart again? Must you be so cruel even in the next life?"
She shook her head forcibly, "I never lied to you!"
"Then why can't you look at me? Huh? I said-" he suddenly reached out and grabbed her hand, "-Look at me!"
But the very next moment the scene abruptly changed around him and the face looking back at him now belonged to someone else. It was like he was forcefully pulled back here.
"I am looking at you, I always will," Princess Ceni swore.
They were so close to one another that Hao Xuan could see her eyes begin to water. She was standing in Xu Qing's place but their expressions were pletely different.
Hao Xuan could feel Princess Ceni's devotion in every word she spoke but he was unable to respond to it, at least at the same level.
He loosened the grip around her hand and took a step back.
The scene really was different now and this time he could tell that it was real at first glance. They were standing under an old black-oak tree surrounded by nothing but the 'dark forest' to the front and a small wooden shack to the back.
But while he was looking around casually Princess Ceni was on the verge of breaking down.
"Can...you really not forgive me?"
Hao Xuan paused and turned towards her once again, this time on purpose.
"Princess-"
"Don't call me that, I hate it! I don't want to be a princess, I never did!"
"I'm sorry I didn't mean to-" Hao Xuan tried to console her but...
"Don't apologize either! You didn't do anything wrong!" she yelled through tears and snot, "It's all my fault. I used you and put your life in danger, no wonder you hate me. I would hate me too. Maybe mother was right, I am not worth anyone's love."
When she mentioned her mother Hao Xuan immediately remembered the memory he had seen of hers, of when she was just a child and her mother burned an entire family alive just to prove a point.
She had thoroughly messed with Princess Ceni's head to the point she was questioning everything. Hao Xuan couldn't help but feel pity for her situation.
"Of course you are worth loving. And...I don't hate you."
He meant it. After finding out the reasons for her actions he couldn't blindly put the blame on her. The world didn't work that way, there was no objectively right or wrong thing to do, no black and white.
Just different shades of grey.
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