Several reporters, who had been eagerly filming earlier, were now gagging uncontrollably, their caras still running as they stumbled away. One caraman bent over and vomited directly on his equipnt.
And yet—
The broadcast continued.
Across countless screens, viewers watched in disbelief as the prestigious banquet turned into an absolute disaster.
So switched off their televisions imdiately.
Others, unable to process what they were seeing, simply stared blankly.
Back inside the hall, the crowd had completely lost control.
People pushed, collided, stumbled—desperately trying to escape.
Within seconds, the once luxurious venue had turned into a battlefield of dignity and survival.
At the edges of the chaos—
Su Mo and Yang Qingxi had already retreated.
They stood near the exit, completely untouched, watching the scene with vastly different expressions.
Yang Qingxi’s face was stiff.
Su Mo... was smiling.
"...We should go," she said finally.
"Yeah," Su Mo nodded casually. "The show’s over, anyway."
Without hesitation, the two of them turned and left.
---
Outside the hotel, a large crowd had already gathered.
In the past ten minutes, the live broadcast had spread like wildfire. Curious onlookers, reporters who hadn’t made it inside, and even random pedestrians had gathered at the entrance, trying to get a glimpse of what was happening.
The mont Su Mo and Yang Qingxi stepped out, countless gazes turned toward them.
But before anyone could approach, they had already moved.
Avoiding the crowd with ease, they walked straight toward a parked Maybach.
The door opened.
Zhang Xulin was already inside, her expression tense and worried. The mont she saw them, she leaned forward slightly.
"Are you two okay?"
"We were at a safe distance," Su Mo replied casually as he got in.
Yang Qingxi followed behind, closing the door.
Zhang Xulin let out a long breath of relief.
"Thank goodness..." she said, her tone easing. "I was watching the broadcast. I never expected sothing like this would happen."
She paused for a mont, her brows furrowing in confusion.
"...But I don’t understand."
Her gaze shifted between the two of them.
"How can soone... release that much?"
Su Mo nodded seriously.
"Yeah, it was impressive."
"Honestly, it looked like he released ten years’ worth in one go."
Yang Qingxi rolled her eyes internally.
’Because that’s exactly what you made him do.’
***
[Laxative King Card (Ordinary Grade):
A laxative so powerful that no matter how constipated the target is, it forces them to expel ten years’ worth of bodily waste within ten minutes.
After the effect, the target does not need to worry about excretion or daily hygienic needs for the next ten years.
This card’s effect surpasses the limitations of ti and reality.
(Note: Only effective on non-cultivators below Qi Condensation Stage.)]
***
[Squat Card (Ordinary Grade):
Once used, the target is forced to squat in their current position for ten minutes, regardless of circumstances.
This effect cannot be interrupted or resisted once activated.
(Note: Only effective on targets below Qi Condensation Stage.)]
***
The combined effect of these two cards resulted in today’s chaos.
She still couldn’t wrap her head around it.
How could such a... disgusting item even exist?
A card that defied logic, ti, and basic human decency.
’Which perverted bastard even made such a thing?’ Yang Qingxi cursed in her mind. At the sa ti, she couldn’t help but feel irritated when she heard Su Mo and Sister Xulin’s conversation.
"I don’t believe any normal human could do that." Zhang Xulin drove the car and said with a look of trying to solve the mystery. "Su Mo... do you think that Shit Man might actually be a cultivator too?"
"You know what... that’s actually quite possible. His special shit machine gun technique might be a derivation of the earth elent." Su Mo went along with her thought process with an amused smile.
Unable to bear this nonsense, Yang Qingxi hit him.
"Huh, what was that for?" Su Mo didn’t feel pain, but still asked in confusion.
"Stop fooling, Sister Xulin!" Yang Qingxi looked ahead and explained. "That guy is no cultivator. Just know that he is our enemy, and to punish him, Su Mo used his power to make him defecate 10 years’ worth in just 10 minutes."
Zhang Xulin’s eyes widened, and she stared at Su Mo in shock. She gulped in horror.
"Such terrifying thods... Su Mo, are you by chance what they call an evil cultivator?"
"Indeed, no normal person would design such vicious sches." Yang Qingxi nodded, agreeing with Zhang Xulin’s words.
"I’m actually quite a kind person," Su Mo said suddenly, his tone sincere.
Zhang Xulin blinked. "...Huh?"
Su Mo leaned back comfortably.
"In a way, I helped him increase his lifespan."
Yang Qingxi’s lips twitched.
"What nonsense are you talking about?"
"I’m serious," Su Mo replied calmly. "Think about it. Because of that effect, he doesn’t have to waste ti for the next ten years defecating."
He raised a finger as if explaining sothing profound.
"You can calculate it. I helped him save at least a month of extra life."
Zhang Xulin stared at him, speechless.
Yang Qingxi closed her eyes briefly.
"Sigh... I’m such a kind person," Su Mo continued, shaking his head.
"Why don’t you tell him about your good deed?" Yang Qingxi said dryly. "He should thank you wholeheartedly."
Su Mo imdiately shook his head.
"Impossible."
"Doing good deeds without seeking recognition is my motto."
"If the beneficiary knows, it becos selfish."
Yang Qingxi looked at him in silence.
Then—
"How about increasing your own lifespan?" she asked.
Su Mo waved his hand dismissively.
"? Forget it."
"A month doesn’t matter to ."
He leaned back, completely relaxed.
"Sooner or later, I’ll achieve immortality anyway."
He paused.
"...As long as I don’t die midway."
Zhang Xulin stared at him again, unsure whether to laugh or question his sanity.
Yang Qingxi simply looked out the window.
For the first ti, she felt that being a villainess...
She still had a lot to learn.
***
[A.N: Do you guys have suggestions for the prank cards? If so, leave a comnt. Let’s not be too disgusting, okay? Your Author-san is misophobic.]
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