She is so cold-blooded, clearly doing hurtful things, yet completely unaware of her own faults. She sees it as normal because her ’concepts’ of being human have long been thoroughly distorted, never having a clear understanding of right and wrong.
Until one day...
When Cui Zhu gazed at her with an almost numb look, when Cui Zhu no longer resisted, when that man’s will was completely shattered by her, seeing his eyes deeply sunk in despair, suddenly, her heart grew anxious!!
She suddenly realized sothing, she seed to have beco like her father. And at that ti, Cui Zhu was just like her childhood self, stripped of everything, the self locked in the little dark room.
So she was afraid!
She didn’t want to beco like that, yet imperceptibly, she was gradually becoming the persona she despised the most!
Thereafter, for reasons unknown, she changed her attitude towards Cui Zhu, stopped everything she had done to him. She began to observe him, just like watching a ’reference point,’ taking Cui Zhu as her forr self, yet they were fundantally different.
He was not exceptionally outstanding, nor was his appearance extraordinarily handso. At that ti, Cui Zhu even appeared older than now, life’s frustrations, trials, and difficulties had given the then twenty-sothing-year-old man a face like that of a middle-aged man.
However, she gradually found that his smile was quite pleasing. That kind of pleasing wasn’t stunningly beautiful but serene, gentle, elegant, making one sincerely feel the warmth.
He loved watching falling flowers, loved watching flowing water, using his eyes to view the world in the right perspective. He appreciated the beauty of all things belonging to life and nature.
Even though he had been mocked by fate, persecuted by the world, he didn’t lose all of his courage, he could still be filled with enthusiasm for life. Even sothing insignificant in life could bring out a lovely and joyful smile from him.
That was entirely different from her.
Clearly, she thought they were alike, but they had the most fundantal differences. No matter what he encountered, his world remained colorful, while hers was only endless chaos and darkness.
From that mont, she admired him, she envied him, she even wanted to be good to him.
She started thinking about wanting Cui Zhu by her side for a lifeti.
But because of the mistakes she made before, severely harming Cui Zhu’s body. So she thought about seeking help from others, yet after traveling thousands of miles for a trip, when she returned with precious dicine, Cui Zhu was gone...
Cui Zhu was dead...
That man, who had occupied an extrely important place in her heart, was dead, gone.
She was about to go mad, about to collapse.
Why is it always like this?
From childhood to adulthood, she got very little, the only two things she ever wanted, one was Da Hua, cooked into soup back then, and the other was Cui Zhu.
But why can’t she have either Da Hua or Cui Zhu?
Until much later, she investigated for a long ti, learned of Cui Zhu’s cause of death, and avenged him.
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