It’s just that this ti, a few classmates ca to pick her up, and she didn’t notice that figure, but others did. They all discussed and felt it was possible, tried calling out, and actually managed to call him back. When it was finally confird that it was him, she was very excited, almost putting on her sunglasses to hide her emotions. However, it was unclear whether he had forgotten everyone, or because he was accompanied by two beautiful girls, he refused to admit it.
In the end, he seed to be forced to admit it, forced to join us for the gathering, and then forced to send soone back to the hotel, forced into the hotel room, and until now, forced to listen to the story with his ears wide open."
After a series of parallel sentences, Qiao Huanxuan suddenly stood up and laughed, saying, "My story is over, haha, applause!" Then got up to go to the bathroom.
Li Yan’s cigarette was smoked out at so point, and he was stunned, looking at the now-closed bathroom door. Qiao Huanxuan had finally told her story, trying to keep it short, and finally explained why she insisted on Li Yan sending her, why she wanted him to co up to the room, and why she wanted to tell him the story. Just by speaking out the psychological issues that had been weighing on her for twelve years, telling it to the person she had been searching for, made her tone calm, but her mood was uncontrollable. She quickly got up, went to the bathroom, laughed, and said applause, rely to cover the tears that were already spreading.
Perhaps at this mont, she was already in the bathroom with her face full of tears?
She went to the bathroom to cover up and stabilize her emotions, wasn’t it also to give Li Yan a mont to digest it? She just said she was at least waiting for an answer from him as to why.
But is an explanation of why really enough?
Not to ntion, Li Yan can’t tell her why, and even if he did, it would only be a lie. rely from her story just now, he already understood a bit. Maybe Qiao Huanxuan knows, or maybe she is unaware. She has gotten used to loving Li Yan!
That’s right, accustod. In middle and high school, it might have just been a girl’s affection, or a friendship she liked, but due to his departure, and due to the music box incident, she felt guilty, thinking it was her fault that caused Li Yan’s tragedy. This emotion had been hidden in her heart all along. It was also related to the environnt at the ti, as those classmates who went to middle school together all felt she had hurt Li Yan, causing him to run away from ho. So, without even needing Li Yan, her classmates kept reminding her of this every day.
When she stopped interacting with boys and worked hard to study, she slowly got used to it. More than two years in high school got her accustod to missing and waiting for soone. In college, if she had really managed to dig it out, perhaps it would have been fine. But how could she possibly find Li Yan when she was like a headless fly looking for him? That deepened her habit, and her attitude of keeping boys at bay might have been justified by having a boyfriend from middle school.
Deep-seated influence, inner habituation, lies to others, frantic searching... all combined to give her an illusion—once there was a sincere love in front of , but I did not cherish it, only to regret after losing it... She thought as long as she found that person, she could be liberated, and everything would be perfect.
To put it simply, it was because of many years and various reasons that she had already fabricated an image of "Li Yan" in her heart, loving and waiting for that Li Yan.
That Li Yan was not the present Li Yan, because she only saw the grown-up Li Yan today, it was a composite of the middle school Li Yan, and her imagined and expected Li Yan. Perhaps this fictional Li Yan in her college days, studying abroad days, and now, had been continuously revised and changing.
So, this is not sothing that can be resolved by a single explanation from Li Yan. This has already affected her life, and now that they’ve truly t, it may not necessarily resolve her issues well, and if not resolved, it will definitely affect the rest of her life.
How to solve it?
I don’t know... Li Yan pondered.
Anyway, twelve years of persistence, twelve years of searching and expecting, it is a weighty emotion. These things when talked about, he couldn’t feel nothing, but he also had no good solution.
He already told her it was not a crush back then, and the gift was explained. But weaving a reason, or simply not saying, could all pass off as why. But she wants more than an answer, she isn’t even fully aware herself...
Perhaps, they weren’t ant to run into each other today. If they hadn’t, no matter twelve years or twenty years, whether it’s love or resentnt, there would always be a hope. Forced by family, she might have found a boyfriend, married soone, then slowly it would fade, and reunion would just be sighs and sentints. But today’s reunion let dreams hit reality, burst the bubble of fantasy, and the direct result is being at a loss!
No matter how it’s resolved, for a while to co, she would be lost, directionless, even questioning the truth of life, the aning of living.
There was once a movie about a policeman spending his whole life chasing a big thief, and they both enjoyed the rivalry. In the end, when he caught the thief, the thief told the policeman, all these years why could you maintain such energy and vigor? It was actually because of my motivation; catching was your lifelong wish. Now that you’ve caught , you have no goal in life, what do you do? The cop was dazed, thinking of retirent, idleness, aimlessness, a walking corpse...
(Twelve years is twelve years, Twelve Springs... too literarily nostalgic. Haha, actually when choosing the title for twelve years, I suddenly rembered a book called "Eighteen Springs", so I wrote Twelve Springs. Speaking of it, that book from the last century I still haven’t finished because I got depressed halfway, skimd the ending, and since the ending wasn’t perfect, I stopped. Ps: Even though 18 Spring might be misunderstood, young friends don’t presu it’s an H book, it has a more resounding na, "Half a Lifelong Romance." More PS: Everyone big boss, give a Monthly Pass, today is again single digits, old Lai is about to be depressed to death, 555...)
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