Chapter 396: Even a Rabbit Bites When Cornered
Huang Ying knew what he wanted to say, so she leaned her head closer, until it was near his ear, and softly whispered, "Li Yan... you know, I’m willing."
In an almost utterly exposed situation like this, amidst an atmosphere of mutual temptation that was hard to get out from, how many normal n could withstand such temptation, could remain proper?
Li Yan could!
Yes, Li Yan used to be sowhat carefree in these matters; if he wasn’t a lecher, then he was at least a flirt. But his principle in life was that there are things he would do and things he wouldn’t. If it was a woman he t at a nightclub or a social gathering, he wouldn’t hesitate. But facing Huang Ying, he simply couldn’t do it.
He was very clear, very certain, that Huang Ying hadn’t lied just now; she was genuinely willing. But what if she was willing? If soone willingly lets you kill them, does that absolve you of legal responsibility? If soone willingly lets you beat them up, do you really go and hit them? Of course, if soone willingly gives you money, a leader would usually accept it with a smile.
Huang Ying was willing, but her willingness didn’t necessarily an affection or love, much like her previous decisions. If things were like that, taking Huang Ying would indeed be exploiting her gratitude for sothing in return. That would turn it into a transaction, and he wanted to help Huang Ying out of concern for a friend, not wanting her to feel burdened, leading her to refuse. But if he really got involved with her, wouldn’t that an he was essentially ’keeping’ her financially?
This he couldn’t accept. He didn’t want to beco such a person, nor did he want Huang Ying to beco soone ’kept’ — even if the keeper was himself.
"Alright, stop overthinking. Your body’s really weak right now; you might fall ill. You need to rest properly, that matter... we’ll talk about it later, there will be plenty of opportunities in the future." Li Yan gently stroked her delicate back, softly comforting her.
Huang Ying grew anxious; there might be opportunities in the future, but letting you take the initiative is always so hard, letting take the initiative, how would I have such an opportunity again?
In her rush of anxiety, she couldn’t help but start sobbing softly.
Li Yan got a headache. Yesterday a girl wanted to possess him, today another girl cried because he didn’t possess her; which god is playing tricks on ? No, strictly speaking, Qiao Huanxuan occurred at midnight, after all, which is technically today. Could today be my day of romance? Maybe I could walk around casually tonight and score a bunch of beauties?
But now wasn’t the ti for sighing, nor was it the ti for daydreaming. He hurriedly asked, "Huang Ying, what’s wrong with you?"
Huang Ying still hung her head, sobbing softly, seemingly trying hard not to let herself burst into tears aloud.
Li Yan still held her tightly, suddenly feeling more tears wetting his shoulder. He quickly adjusted her head to look directly at her.
"What are you doing?"
In the blurry tears, Huang Ying vaguely saw Li Yan frowning and heard his questioning words, which made her heart even more bitter. She thought she’d t a man who was good to her, even willing to beco his burden and not require promises or responsibilities from him, but...
She let go, trying her best to move aside a few inches, maintaining a distance from Li Yan. Then she wiped her tears with the back of her hand, trying to squeeze out a smile that was even harder than bitterness.
"I’m sorry... I’m fine."
Li Yan was speechless; you’re saying you’re fine like this?
"I get it, you... you would never like a girl like , no figure, no charm, no ability, not like soone like Manager Wen..."
Li Yan was dumbfounded, what’s gotten into this girl? Just because I held back from pushing you down, you’re feeling inferior now? He comforted softly, "Why compare yourself with Wen Qianyi? She has her good qualities, and you have yours too. Your diligence, filial piety, gentleness, sensibility, thoughtfulness, kindness... those are virtues too. Plus, aren’t you a few years younger than Wen Qianyi? In the future, your figure, charm, and abilities will also beco as good as hers."
Though he was comforting Huang Ying, he couldn’t speak against the truth by underrating Wen Qianyi. Given Wen Qianyi’s comprehensive qualities, only Zhang Yurong could match her in Paradise Group. So, he could only highlight Huang Ying’s virtues and look to the future. Otherwise, it would be too fake to say she was better in every aspect than Wen Qianyi.
His comfort quickly worked, and Huang Ying began to stop crying. After a while, she gazed blankly at Li Yan and softly asked a question that stuck in her throat, "Just now, was I... was I really cheap?"
Li Yan was taken aback!
He had considered everything thoroughly, considering her willingness wasn’t necessarily affection, considering she had only been drinking today, and the impulse after initial terror was stable, but he had neglected that her character would take her to another extre!
For soone so shy, it would have been better to avoid the situation from the beginning, to leave her on the bed and walk out, not giving her the chance to speak. Once she’d spoken, no matter how tactful and reasonable the reason, for her, it was still a rejection! And the consequence of refusal would lead her to feel insecure and connect many issues.
"Who said that?" Li Yan asked heavily.
Huang Ying didn’t speak, but her aning was obvious: So you think I’m cheap for offering myself thus, and you don’t like ...
He sighed, "Do you know what kind of person I am? I never have serious relationships, do you know how many won I’ve been with? Heh... I can’t even rember myself! Even the approximate number I can’t recall. If I just wanted you and didn’t want to because of affection or respect, would I need to wait until today? With my experience, I could have had my way with you long ago.
You said you were willing, but how much of that is out of affection? Do you like soone like ? Your impulsive action today was in gratitude to for saving you from them. Perhaps... you are also worried about , worried I might get caught and imprisoned, so you’re willing to give yourself to as gratitude, thinking if it wasn’t for , this body would fall into the beasts’ hands. If I were imprisoned, you might face a similar problem again. Better to give it to soone more pleasant than beasts.
If that’s the case, do you think I can accept it? If I accepted you, how different would I be from them? The difference is they use power, while I use gratitude, because your willingness is not truly your willingness! You understand? I want to give you more ti, I don’t want you to regret!"
Having said his piece, Li Yan turned over and lay beside her. He reached into the pocket of his pants at the bedside and pulled out a cigarette, lighting it; he was also sowhat agitated, and smoking could calm him down a bit.
Having heard Li Yan’s words, Huang Ying lay weakly in the covers, also reflecting deeply. Was this my true thoughts? Did I really want to be with him for such reasons?
Watching the smoke expelled by Li Yan, seeing it disperse in the room, Huang Ying’s thoughts also diffused.
Silence descended, both lost in their thoughts, temporarily devoid of desires.
After a while, Huang Ying’s thoughts ca together again, and she began to understand her own heart, to understand what she truly needed and wanted.
When Li Yan finished his cigarette, she mustered her strength to get up and look into his eyes.
"What is it now?" Li Yan glanced at her.
"I want to tell you... I’ve carefully reflected on what you just said." Huang Ying said earnestly, making her expression look cute.
"You know well, but do you understand better than I understand myself? What you just said were your thoughts; how much do they align with mine? Soone once proposed to , offering to support my mother, and at that ti, I thought of you and was willing to be ’kept’ by you—yes, I admit at that ti it was about having a reliance, and since it was like that, I thought why not find soone pleasing and who knew more and who respected . But...
Things are different now! After we unintentionally kissed that night, you never touched again, but you often cared about , encouraged in class, and even took to concerts... Your requests of were only occasionally having cook a al. I think you mainly care about my feelings; otherwise, you wouldn’t bother at all.
What does this an? This ans this man respects , cherishes , rather than just wishing to play with or possess . Now, you’ve treated sincerely, seriously, and given your first kiss to a girl. Are you not confident she’d develop feelings for you? Today, you risked everything for . In my heart, is it just gratitude? Do you at least understand ’the hero saving the damsel in distress’? Even if I’m not a beauty, you saved , and I like you, isn’t that possible? Must it only be gratitude?"
The usually shy Huang Ying, able to express herself in such a torrent, left Li Yan astounded. As they say, even timid girls will find their voice when pushed to the limit. And he didn’t find it odd at all to compare such a cute girl to a dog or a rabbit.
Seeing Li Yan staring at her with his mouth open, speechless, Huang Ying was very excited, feeling the taste of confidence. She pressed a bit closer and continued to press him, "I’m not asking you to marry ; everything stays as it is, yet you don’t dare. So is it who’s insecure, or is it you? Or do you think I’m insecure, but it’s actually you not realizing your own insecurities?" (According to Li Yan’s reaction, it’s not that his body couldn’t take it, it’s mainly because the monthly votes aren’t coming in; if the monthly votes surged 50 votes, he’d knock down Huang Ying imdiately, haha (*^__^*) ) (To be continued, for more Chapters, please log in to qidian, support the author, support legal reading!)
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