The thick canvas of my tent bowed beneath the weight of the wind, snapping loudly with every gust and gale. It was dim and cold, the sun shining through the western wall of the tent as a distant, reddish circle, just monts from vanishing beneath the hills on the horizon. The camp had quieted for the night, the soldiers retired from their cookfires, and the watch was already pacing between the orderly rows of tents.
I sat on my cot with my tail in my lap, idly stroking it as I listened to Elinore, who stood across from with her hands on her hips. She wasn’t a large woman, but she dominated the small tent, towering over by force of presence as much as height.
"No. I’m telling you that you can’t do it. Even if your soul can cast fifth-level spells, your body won’t handle it. If the sunpurge starts spreading again, I don’t think it will stop."
My grip on my tail tightened, and I bit my lip, pleading in a small voice. "We won’t get another chance. The southern armies of Brithlite are in full retreat, and we drove off their heroes, so they won’t be able to interfere. The demons are far enough away and busy consolidating their hold on Bluegate Keep and the surrounding towns. The gate is inside the anomaly’s influence, which generates enough of an ambient aura powerful enough to cloud any residual signals my soul would release. It’s too good to be true, Elinore. I have to do this."
She groaned and put a hand to her forehead, beginning to pace back and forth. It was cramped in the tent, but I couldn’t bla her. This was hardly the first ti we’d had this conversation in the day since Kahlen revealed the location of a demon gate. It was a sixth-level ice gate that appeared three days ago, and was practically on the other side of the next mountain.
"It doesn’t matter how perfect this seems, my lady," Elinore said. "Even if you heal your soul, the sunpurge has already advanced to the point it’s affecting you inside and out. You can’t even walk without wincing, and I know your soul hurts more than it ever has before. There’s no way you can succeed right now."
"But Elinore, the burden won’t be too great if I–"
"’Channel through the Anomaly?’ I know, you’ve already said that," she muttered. "But You don’t even know if sothing like that is possible. I’m afraid exposing yourself to infernal mana will be enough to push you over the edge, not to ntion channeling a fifth-circle spell for hours."
I’d fought countless bitter battles to get to this point, but those very fights now prevented from doing the one thing I’d prayed for since breaking my soul at Western University. The sunpurge had gotten worse with every fight, and with it, my soul continued to weaken. I had enough mana to cast several fifth-circle spells in sequence, but the pain and effort I felt just casting a single instance of Regenerate to save Luxxa proved Elinore right.
I knew it, but I couldn’t just accept it. Elise was counting on .
My tail slipped from my hands, dropping limp to the rug beneath my cot. Sniffing, I looked up at Elinore, who had stopped pacing. My eyes glistened with unshed tears, and my voice broke as I asked, "What else can I do? As long as I’m alive, the gods will never let live in peace. I’ve been hunted, hurt, and tortured for years now in this hell of a planet, and it won’t stop until I’m dead or I’m strong enough to protect myself."
Elinore’s face softened, and she reached out, tenderly smoothing a lock of crimson hair behind my ear. "You don’t have to do this on your own. You’re surrounded by friends–human and demon now–who will give their lives for you."
"But I don’t want them to die!" I burst out, "I just...I don’t want to be alone anymore. Orion’s already gone, and I don’t think I could bear it if anyone else left ."
The woman was quiet, still leaning over , her hand touching my cheek. Then, with a short breath, she withdrew and straightened. "Is this really the only way?"
I hesitated montarily, letting the weight of her words sink into . The only way? The only way to do what?
I needed to heal my soul so I was strong enough to lead my followers and save Elise. That was the only thing on my mind right now, the only thing that mattered. I had given up the heart crest and allowed her to be enslaved and tornted. Until I righted that wrong, I would never be free of my past, of the chains that still lingered in my heart. Aurle’s mory demanded as much, as did all those who suffered because of my choices.
So, with that conviction burning in my heart, I raised my head and returned Elinore’s gaze. "It is."
"I see," she murmured. "In that case, I didn’t want to give this to you yet, but..."
I tilted my head curiously as she tapped her spatial ring and withdrew a small crystal vial. It was no larger than my pinky, and only half filled with a golden viscous liquid that barely moved as she shook it. Elinore took my hand and carefully placed the vial in my palm, smoothing my fingers over it until I held it tightly. She left her hand closed around mine.
"What is it?" I asked, gingerly testing its weight in my hand.
The life mage shook her head. "Honestly, I’m not certain; it’s the culmination of our studies on the sunpurge. My master sent it to a few days ago while you were unconscious, but I hadn’t thought I’d use it so soon. The materials are scarce and difficult to acquire, and I’m uncertain whether making another vial is possible. The effects aren’t even permanent, either, but it should bolster your body’s defense against the sunpurge for a few hours."
I tried to maintain my composure, wary of getting my hopes up, but my tail twitched anyway, betraying my excitent. "You an...?"
She nodded. "There’s enough to use on both your shoulder and side, but only once. If this gate is as perfect as you say it is, you shouldn’t need more than that, right?"
"I...yes. But if you had this, why are you so reluctant for to try?"
Elinore sighed and pulled her hand away. In only a few seconds, she seed to have aged a few years, her face tired and dusty, the streaks of gray in her hair more apparent. "My lady, every single ti you try and attempt sothing, it seems the gods themselves conspire to stop you. Your body isn’t strong enough to match your hopes and ambitions, and I worry that each ti you leave will be your last. That ti was almost the last."
"But it will be different once I heal my soul," I began, but she held up a finger, quieting .
"From what my master said, this salve offers only the illusion of strength, but it will be very convincing. You will be tempted to go all out and push your soul to its limits, and even then you will feel free. Just like everyone else," she paused to breathe, then continued. "But you’re not. The salve will last through the entire length of the spell, but...the bill will co due."
"I really only have one chance then," I said softly. "I...understand why you didn’t tell now. Thank you."
She shook her head. "Don’t thank yet. If this salve gives you the confidence to try, and if you fail... I’ll have damned you."
Her reluctance made sense, now that she explained it to . Without her warning, I very well may have overextended myself, as I was often prone to do. How often had I done what I felt I needed to with the perspective of ’whatever the cost.’
Perhaps it was instinctual, beaten into through the long years of darkness and pain. Slaves had no future; the worries and needs of the day were enough. Why did it matter where food ca from tomorrow if I was starving today? There was no one to look out for, and more importantly, no one to miss when I was gone. All that mattered was surviving.
But I wasn’t alone anymore, and there were plenty who would miss when I was gone. A tear traced down my cheek as I pressed the hand holding the salve to my chest. My heart pulsed against my hand, alive and warm with the hopes and dreams of those who had born to this point. Aurle, Orion...many had given everything to give this chance. If I missed this opportunity, their sacrifices would be in vain.
"Thank you, Elinore," I said, rising to my feet. I dismissed the vial into my spatial ring and summoned my staff. "I’ll rember your words and be careful, but I’m afraid I must do this. This is the only path that leads forward. May fate protect you in the coming storm."
Leaving those words to linger in the air, I strode away from the healer’s tent. One chance. I had one chance to gain the power to avenge them. But more importantly, it was my only chance to be free, to live the life they yearned for . I had to take the next step forward.
User Comments
0 comments from readers