I had turned away from Gayron as he spoke, but paused, looking back at the demonkin. He had his eyes fixed on the ground, his hands clenched at his sides. He looked entirely uncomfortable, down to his tail, which trembled with the effort of keeping it still. Gayron was not a man accustod to apologizing.
"Sorry?" I asked, "What are you even talking about? You’re healed, Gayron. You don’t have to pretend anymore. Just leave."
His hands clenched tighter, digging into his palms. He raised his head, revealing a glare. "Do you want to beg, to get on my knees and kiss your feet?" he growled. "Damn it, I don’t even know what I was thinking, apologizing like that."
With a huff, he whirled around and stalked away, only to realize after a few steps that he had nowhere to go. There was nothing but the endless night sky around us, the stars small and cold, mirroring the chill that had settled over my heart. What use was there apologizing now, after everything he had done?
"Xiviyah," Korra’s voice was soft but insistent as she laid a hand on my arm. I tried to pull away, hardly in the mood to be comforted, but she followed .
"Gayron’s not who you think. I’ve seen him this past week–the real him. He’s arrogant and proud, more than a little rough around the edges, but there’s more to him. He’s taught us a lot about the demons and how they fight, things that have improved our entire army’s skills. You want to learn to trust people, right? Sotis, that ans forgiving them. I know he’s hurt you, but–"
"He tried to kill , Korra!" I cried. "Why is it that the people who want to be closest to always try to hurt ?" I touched my scarred shoulder, tears welling up in my eyes. "Soltair, Fyren, him... even...even..."
I bit my lip, turning my head away. I couldn’t say it, not after everything she had sacrificed for . But the mory of her betrayal still haunted , the despair I felt when she abandoned to Alex, agreeing to let him violate before selling to a man who ant my death.
"?" Korra finished for , her voice deathly quiet. "Is that it? Do you still, sowhere in that hurt heart of yours, think I’m going to betray you? That we all will?"
My tail shuddered as she gestured to the Star Guard and my friends beyond. "I...Korra, I didn’t an–"
"I think you did. I thought you trusted us, trusted . You try "
I stared at her, tears glistening in my eyes, the stars of the gate all but invisible now. An oppressive air filled the gate, and the mbers of the Star Guard looked at each other, shifting uncomfortably. Fable growled softly, padding to curl around my back, his tail brushing protectively around my feet.
Korra glared at him, her aura rising around her, holding off the darkness that instinctively rose to suppress her. "Back off, Fable. You know as well as I she needs to hear this. Or do you want her to end up like Luke?"
The na resonated in my heart, images of a sad, broken child rising unbidden in my mind. A single tear escaped, trickling down my cheek and glistening like the stars that now seed so distant. Why weren’t they shining as brightly anymore? It made the realm feel so cold and lonely, and I shivered, my tail curling around my ankle.
"I see. So it does have sothing to do with him."
It took a few monts to register Korra’s voice. I sniffed and wiped the moisture from my eyes, struggling to focus on her again. Her face had softened considerably, and her eyes were clouded with worry.
"Xiviyah, this isn’t you. You’re kind and gentle, not vindictive. You want to trust people, rember?"
"I... I..." I stamred, my hands flying to my head in confusion and distress. Why did I harbor such intense hatred for Gayron? He’d hurt repeatedly, but it had never affected this deeply before. I was supposed to be hurt, expected it even, and though I knew that was a twisted way of thinking, it had been ingrained in through years of anguish and abuse.
But now, the anger felt visceral. Why couldn’t I simply forgive him and move on? Why did a part of crave to see him squirm, to hear him scream and beg for rcy? The darkness inside had grown exponentially since...since...when? I couldn’t pinpoint the exact mont, but its presence was undeniable, a throbbing pain that filled with fear. I didn’t want this darkness, this hatred. Not when it made fear Korra, who had done nothing but love .
"I-I’m sorry!" I cried, a sob tearing from my throat. "I... I don’t know what’s happening!"
Korra’s arms were around in an instant, her embrace warm and comforting. I hadn’t even seen her move, but I lted into her, sobbing against her shoulder, the bite of the sunpurge overwheld by her presence as our bodies intertwined. "Shhh, it’s alright. I’ve got you. Just breathe."
For a mont, everything else dissolved into nothingness. The anxious gazes of the Star Guard, the lingering tension with Gayron, and even the starlight realm’s ethereal beauty vanished from my awareness. There was only , Korra, and the foreign darkness that gnawed at , urging to reject her comfort. I trembled in her arms as it warred against everything I’d struggled to achieve, against my love and trust for my friends.
Vengeance. That was the na for this all-consuming feeling. It was the sa rage I’d felt when holding Sari’s lifeless body in my arms, the sa burning fury that had summoned Fate’s Ally to destroy High Valley. It wasn’t mine, but it was persistent, struggling to taint my heart with a cry for blood and revenge.
Putting a na to it seed to give a modicum of control, and the darkness within began to recede. I clung to Korra, weeping quietly against her shoulder. She stroked my head with one hand and held tight against her with the other. Gradually, my sobs subsided, my tears dried, and I took a long, deep breath, feeling a semblance of calm returning to my troubled spirit.
"Better?" She asked.
I nodded, but continued to cling to her, finding solace in her embrace. Suddenly, a sharp cough startled us both. I hid my face against Korra, flushing with sha, my tail twitching agitatedly.
"Would soone tell what the hell is going on?" Gayron asked.
I squird, clinging tighter to Korra, my entire body prickling with awareness of his gaze. Had he been watching the whole ti? While the darkness within had receded, I felt no affection towards him, and the thought of him witnessing one of my most vulnerable monts sent a wave of unease through , my tail twitching agitatedly.
Korra glared at him, her hand on my head coming to a rest, holding close against her shoulder. "Would it have killed you to shut up for once?"
"I gave it long enough. If you girls want to go cry sowhere, at least let out of this place first. It’s kind of depressing, to be honest."
Depressing? Tentatively, I raised my head and looked over Korra’s shoulder at the vast realm of night. The stars twinkled brightly, dancing like raindrops in the wind. It was serene and beautiful, filling with hope and ease, almost enough to look at Gayron.
"I think it’s kind of nice. Reminds of Xiviyah," Jena said offhandedly.
"No one asked you, human," Gayron said with a snort.
"Jena. It’s Jena, rember?" She let out an exaggerated sigh, "No wonder you’re so unpopular with the ladies. Don’t you know using a girl’s na is the best way to make her comfortable around you?"
I loosened my grip on Korra ever so slightly, my tail gradually calming. Sohow, their banter was...friendly? I looked up at Korra, and she smiled at , eyes bright.
"Thank you," I whispered. Tears filled my eyes, but this ti in relief. Finally, the darkness was gone.
She squeezed one final ti and released . "Sorry for holding you for so long," she said with a gentle smile. "It must have stung a bit, but I...well, you needed it."
I rubbed my side, my fingers brushing just shy of the sunpurge. "Thank you for being there and believing in . And I trust you, Korra, I really do. I don’t know why I couldn’t back there, it was so dark and lonely, and I’m sorry. I think it had sothing to do with Luke. Our souls got a little entangled, and I can still feel him–"
She laughed, holding up her hand and stopping my ramble mid-sentence. "It’s alright, Xiviyah, that’s what friends are for. Now, I think Gayron had a point. If we’re all taken care of here, why don’t we return to Enusia? I think I heard your stomach rumble a second ago."
I froze, touching my stomach self-consciously, a blush warming my cheeks. "I-it did?"
"Well, not yet," she admitted with a mischievous grin. "But let’s hit the ss hall before it does!"
She skipped away with a laugh, leaving staring after her, mortified. Jena giggled, and even Luxxa cracked a rare smile.
Gayron just shook his head and grumbled, "I can too get girls."
User Comments
0 comments from readers