Jyn ca back to himself several days after the ship landed at the safe house. Kell was sowhere in the d bay tending to their inventory of dicine, but Jyn paid the fact little heed. He was forgetting sothing. Sothing important. His brows furrowed with concentration, the action marking the most his face had changed since he broke down. His last concrete mory was of his hospital room where he’d been a crying ss.
In a rare mont of lucidity, he finally focused his attention on the happenings outside of his mind and body. He was no longer in the cold hospital room he’d expected. Rather, he was in the familiar d bay of the ship with no recollection of having gotten there. Had he hallucinated the whole thing? Had his mind finally broken and he was trapped? A shudder passed through him as an echo of his pain panged throughout his body.
The sound of bottles clinking together caught his attention, and his head slowly swiveled towards Kell, who had his back turned to him. Jyn tried to speak but failed to produce any sound. It was only then that he beca acutely aware of how bone-dry and raw his throat was. He tried again in vain to get Kell’s attention, but still no sound ca from him. Jyn ultimately resorted to knocking on the side of his bed to be heard.
Kell startled, not having expected any change in Jyn for the five minutes he’d focused on restocking the ship’s inventory using the supplies Tassie had procured. He whirled around, searching for the source of the noise. He was t with Jyn’s stare, which was no longer clouded and distant. It was focused, for the first ti since Kell had seen him after he’d woken up. The sight surprised Kell, for he didn’t know what could have changed that caused Jyn to do sothing other than stare blankly at the wall. “Can you understand ?” Kell asked tentatively.
Jyn gave a slow, creaking nod in response. He tried speaking again, and Kell imdiately ran towards the supply cabinet to retrieve a bottle of water, not wanting to waste the opportunity to properly treat his forr Captain.
Jyn tried to accept the proffered bottle but found his arms to be too heavy to properly move. His limbs refused to listen to him fully. He clenched his hands repeatedly and summoned the will to have agency again. Kell waited patiently for Jyn to lift his shaking arms and carefully grab the bottle. The doctor could see the monuntal effort it took Jyn to do even the most basic of tasks and though he feared that his patient would be unable to drink without choking, Jyn proved him wrong.
Water was spilled all over Jyn’s dical gown, but neither he nor Kell cared. Slowly, Jyn brought the bottle to his lips and took a tentative sip. With every second that passed, he regained more motor control, his body realizing that it could finally move free from pain. What started as a small sip soon turned into deep, desperate gulps. Jyn drained the bottle quickly, but it wasn’t enough. He needed more.
Jyn tapped the empty bottle and mid drinking again. Kell imdiately retrieved another one from storage and exchanged it for the one Jyn was holding. It was only once Jyn was halfway done the second bottle that his thirst was finally quenched. Carefully, he tried speaking once more. “What happened?” Jyn croaked, his voice deeper and huskier than he rembered it being. “Where am I?”
“You were shot,” Kell said carefully. He knew that even the ntion of the orange chemical might be enough to trigger Jyn and send him spiraling. “We went to save Adrian from the gru’ul and you were injured on your way back to the ship.”
Jyn nodded. The explanation lined up with his fragnted mory. “Were we successful?” he asked.
“Yes,” Kell said with a sad smile. “Adrian carried you out after you were hit. From what I understand, he stood between you and another soldier that wanted to put you out of your misery.”
Jyn’s brows rose in surprise. “Why would he do that for ?” he couldn’t help but ask.
“You’ll have to ask him yourself,” Kell responded. “After the team retreated to the ship, we made our way back to Verilia. You were admitted to the main base’s hospital right after we arrived.”
“Why am I on the ship, then?” Jyn said, confused.
“We were ordered by General Nessah to return to the safe house to protect Adrian and Reya,” Kell explained. “The others are inside the house.”
“We’re back to guarding them?” Jyn asked. “I’ll talk to Rann about what our new orders are. How long until I can leave the d bay?” He noted the IV in his arm and the bag of clear fluid next to his bed and assud he’d be there a while.
“You can leave whenever you feel ready. I’m not going to stop you,” Kell said. He gave Jyn a long stare, contemplating if he should reveal the truth to him.
“I think I’d like to leave as soon as I can,” Jyn said. “I have a mission to get back to,” he insisted. He desperately wanted to do anything that could help keep his mind from thinking about his recent experience. Sothing, anything would do. The thought of continuing the mission was comforting, even.
Kell shook his head. “We’re the ones guarding Adrian and Reya,” he said slowly. “As well as you. You’re not to return back to duty.”
“How am I supposed to do my mission if I’m the one being protected?” Jyn complained. “That makes no sense. I might not be in perfect health, but that shouldn’t remain that way too long.”
“You don’t understand, Jyn,” Kell said carefully. “High Command has honorably discharged you from service. You’re no longer a part of the military. You’ve been stripped of your rank as Captain.”
“What!?” Jyn exclaid weakly. “That makes no sense. I can get better!” he pleaded. “Why would High Command do this to ?”
“The Tribunal believes you to be unfit for duty, much the sa way they deed Reya to be unfit for duty after we rescued her,” Kell said. “They’ll take care of you, naturally. You’ll receive a stipend for life just like Reya, but you won’t ever be a soldier again.”
The revelation shook Jyn to his very core. “But what am I supposed to do now?” he asked, still trying to process the news Kell had just given him. A part of him was furious that High Command would get rid of him so callously while another was secretly glad he no longer had to risk exposure to the orange chemical ever again. The knot of emotions in his chest left Jyn conflicted. Suddenly, the d bay felt too small and constricting for his liking.
“How about we get you dressed again and you can go see the others?” Kell suggested. When Jyn nodded, Kell got to work removing the IV and monitoring equipnt attached to Jyn and helped him put back on his clothes. The ship was lacking in civilian-wear, so Jyn had no choice but to put on his old simple military fatigues.
It was a challenge at first and soon Jyn found himself descending the ramp, with Kell right beside him should he stumble. Jyn made his way towards the front door of the safe house, only to freeze right before opening it. He turned towards Kell. “What am I supposed to even say to everyone?” he asked. “I was the only one that got injured during the mission.”
“I don’t think there’s anything to worry about,” Kell said reassuringly. He opened the door for Jyn and motioned for him to enter. “They’ll be more than happy knowing you’re up and about again.”
Jyn entered cautiously, still unsure how to face the others. He hoped they were off patrolling so that he wouldn’t have to face them yet, but that hope was thoroughly dashed the mont he set foot inside the house.
“Jyn!” Rann exclaid from the kitchen table. She stood up quickly and shoved her chair out of the way, imdiately rushing towards him. “We were so worried about you,” she said as she collected him into a crushing hug.
Jyn awkwardly returned the gesture. He flashed Rann a false smile that didn’t reach his dead eyes. “I’m not going to keel over that easily,” he said. His attempt at humor clearly fell flat, for Rann sported an even more worried expression than before. Jyn couldn’t bring himself to care. Not after what had happened. Rann continued to speak, but Jyn didn’t pay attention. Instead, he looked around the house.
Everything he saw was muted. The once vibrant colours and furniture seed dull and drab, even though there had been no change. The warm atmosphere of friends and nascent lovers was gone, replaced by sothing colder. All Jyn could bring himself to feel was a cold indifference towards his surroundings. Everything blended together into one monotonous environnt, and Jyn belatedly realized that he found no joy in returning back to such a familiar place. One whose history he’d helped shape.
“Jyn?” Rann asked tentatively. “Is everything alright?” She noticed the blank expression he now sported and worried that he would return back to the sa state she last saw him in. She cast Kell a concerned look.
“No,” Jyn responded simply. He didn’t know how to feel anymore, his emotions a tangled ss growing more distant with each passing second. Everything he’d ever experience was overshadowed by one defining mont. One eternal mory of the true aning of pain. Compared to such agony, nothing else truly mattered. Nothing else ever would. “I could use so fresh air,” he said suddenly. Without waiting for a response from the others, he simply left the conversation and made his way to the back of the house, his goal the firepit. With the sun about to set, perhaps staring into a fire would spark sothing in him again.
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