Velma wiped off the sweat of her brow as she leaned back from her terminal, exhausted from days upon days of scouring the universal web, cataloging and recording the data relevant to her task. It was both a genuine pleasure, and an incredible burden. After all, very few ever got access to the universal web, owned and operated by the AI across the universe.
Just as she was about to call it a day, a certain title in the latest news tab caught her eye.
Lex Dragonsbane spotted kidnapping a realm, holding Ventura students hostage!
She paused, rubbed her eyes, and then read the title once more. It did not change, though she could see that the article already had countless comnts and reactions.
Confused, doubtful, and yet sohow entirely certain that this article was talking about the Lex she knew, she clicked on the article to read it in full.
Lex Williams, a human, also known as Lex Dragonsbane, Lava Lover, The Human Anvil, and The Ten Ton Terran, has recently gained notoriety for his increasingly audacious kidnappings, or thefts.
Sources close to the subject have stated that Lex first got his first taste of kidnapping when he nabbed an innocent pirate by the na of Booty, but later returned him when he got caught. His tendencies only worsened, however, causing him to soon kidnap the dragon known as Pelvailin Ur Bahatna Gorgin.
Reports indicate that the subject then graduated to kidnapping planets, with confird theft of the planet Yildirim Utopia, and the confird kidnapping of an innocent World Eater.
All charges and bounties against the target were later dropped under dubious circumstances involving the Demi-Dao Lord Sekht associated with the HOA. Through life-threatening investigative journalism of the highest degree and integrity, it has been ascertained that the subject and Lord Sekht have a highly contentious relationship, likely owing to a bad breakup!
Witnesses of their reunion had this to say -
Witness A: Dagnabbit, I was rite dair, watchin everything. Lord, or I should say Lady Sekht's eyes appeared out of thin air, catchin da human with a lady Devil! Oh, poor lady, she looked so heart broken.
Witness B: I have it on good authority that the Demi-Dao Lord snuck into the Origin realm inside the body of a million terrorists so she could surprise Dragonsbane on their anniversary, but before she could give the surprise, she spotted him with another woman!
Witness C: That's all wrong. I saw it. The human boldly claid to fight the Lady's father, Lord Ra, so that their union could go through. But it turns out, behind the Lady's back, the human had also been romancing Lady's Sekhts sister, Lady Bastet!
Witness D: They're all wrong. The Lady Sekht and Lord Lex are still together! I saw for myself the passion, the heat of the mont when their eyes locked! Expect to hear wedding bells soon, or at least news of a baby!
Expert biologists who have studied the incident through second or thirdhand reports claim that human Lex Ladykiller kidnapped the dragon Pelvailin as a part of his plan to beco part dragon so that he could gain the dragon's ability to mate with all races, just to please Lady Sekht!
Our expert psychologists, however, believe that Lex the Angelwhisperer, is simply a kleptomaniac, and stealing the heart of a Demi-Dao Lord was simply acting according to his compulsion.
Whatever the truth may be, evidence of his kleptomaniacal tendencies keeps on piling up, as he has been spotted in one of Ventura's testing grounds for talented Immortals, holding the students hostage as he tries to kidnap the realm itself!
The attempt was only discovered when the Heavenly Oversight and Regulatory Directorate (HORD), responsible for detecting and reacting to Heavenly interference in the universe, reported unusual Heavenly activity.
It seems even Heaven itself can no longer tolerate the heartless nature of the human's actions! Yet the result is still uncertain!
A source close to the subject has theorized a connection between the humans actions, and a guest at the Dao ranked hospitality organization, the Midnight Inn, where Lex works. The guest, none other than notorious thief Monkey King Wu Kong, known for stealing a part of the Dao of Wine, is theorized to be the humans ntor and spiritual guide! sources
For latest updates, stay tuned as we reach out to more knowledgeable sourd on the subject, and send our most reliable journalists to observe the situation over at the realm being stolen!
Article by: TheOnionNews
Velma stared at the article, unsure of how to respond. She read it once, twice, and then three tis before she could believe what was written. Of course, she knew that most of what was written was incorrect. But... it was just so damn funny!
She took a screenshot of the article and imdiately sent it to the Midnight Inn, before giving the article a heart and a follow.
So days, she just loved her job!
*****
Lex's body smashed into the ground, leaving the poor fellow looking up at the sky as he tried to understand what was happening. He got no proper feedback from that lightning bolt, which ant it wasn't even a part of his own tribulation. No, he just happened to be standing where the realms tribulation was taking place.
That ant that now, not only did he have to go through his own tribulation, which was strengthened as a result of the realm tribulation, but he also had to go through the Crystal realms tribulation as well?
No, no that couldn't be happening. He had to have misunderstood the situation. How was that possible?
He looked down at the smoke rising from his body, and his suit which had been burnt to a crisp in a single lightning strike, and wondered if this was real life, or if this was a fantasy.
No matter how strong he beca, there was no way he could be as strong as an entire freaking realm while still at the Earth Immortal level. How could he survive a tribulation ant for a realm larger than the solar system?!?!?!
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