Lucas’s Perspective:
9:42 PM - 1/1/2018
The waterfall hamred down on my back like a sledgehamr, and the snow-cloaked valley around looked like the world’s most aggressive freezer. Frost clung to the rocks, the wind was basically chewing on my bones, and I—shirtless, kneeling under a freezing waterfall—felt my soul shivering.
"ACHUUU!" I sneezed so hard my vision jittered.
Great. At this point, even the demons of hell would be offering a blanket.
SYSTEM, HOW MUCH LONGER?!
「 That is a surprise. 」
I clenched my jaw. "You—"
Of course.
I was sitting in a freezing waterfall because System-ahh claid I’d receive so special, one-ti-only divine protection. Sothing "imnsely valuable" and "life-changing," which in system language could an anything from god-tier immortality... to a coupon.
But hey, I’m not the type to skip a potential power-up.
Even if my toes feel like they’re drafting a will.
"ACHUU!"
"Bro, soone is definitely rembering right now."
「 Maybe your well-wishers? 」
"You an my haters."
My mind drifted to Kaiser—who casually said "rock, paper, scissors," won instantly, and sentenced to one hundred completely unnecessary push-ups like so tyrant.
No worries. He’ll face my revenge soon enough. Maybe he’s already suffering from it.
EYE FOR AN EYE!
And right after that, System hit with:
Congratulations! New SECRET quest: Sit shirtless under a freezing waterfall until enlightennt or death, whichever cos first.
The water beneath was so cold I swear I saw a fish turn into an ice cube mid-swim.
"Bro, System... what’s the prize at least?"
「 That is a surprise. 」
"Then what’s the divine protection?"
「 That is also a surprise. 」
"...System, how much longer?"
「 That too is a surprise. 」
I sighed. "System... are you gay?"
There was a sharp electronic gasp.
「 Ayo ninja, what did you just say?! I am a fantastic 4D system with a preference for female systems. Shut yo mouth—know who you are talking to. 」
I blinked. "I thought you were gonna say ’that is also a surprise.’"
「 . 」
"Don’t you dot-dot . Tell now! I’m gonna freeze!"
The system let out a digital sigh so dramatic it might’ve been rolling its imaginary eyes.
「 Fine. I’ll share it, ninja. The divine blessing you gain is called: The Divine Bed Protection. 」
"...Divine... bed protection?"
Even in the cold, my survival instincts briefly transford into ambition.
Focus, Lucas. Focus on the future. Not on the degeneracy.
’Divine bed protection’... That had to be that kind of protection. Okay. Maybe not useful right now—I’m fifteen, not ready—but in the future? When I gain a fanbase... loyal... female followers... This could be extrely strategic.
Very. Very. Very.
I am a solo leveler. Not a family man who pays support.
I finish the quest. I run away.
"Alright, System. What’s it actually gonna do?"
The system’s tone suddenly went grave and somber, like it was delivering ancient universal wisdom.
「 This divine protection ensures that while you sleep... you never fall off the bed. Your safety is guaranteed. Protected.」
I stared at the waterfall.
Then stared at the sky.
Then stared at nothing.
"."
My soul physically left my body.
"NINJA—"
My foot slipped on the icy rock and—
SPLASH.
I fell straight off the waterfall into freezing hell.
"YOU STUPID SCAMR!" I yelled, thrashing in the arctic water.
「 Ga is ga. 」
I wanted to cry.
And thus, there I was... drenched, freezing, and spiritually gone... blessed with nothing but ’Divine Bed Protection.’
What a life.
——————————————————————————————————————————
Kaiser’s Perspective:
9:51 PM - 1/1/2018
The blizzard clawed at the tent like so rabid spirit desperate to get in, making the canvas shudder and the lantern sway in a soft amber rhythm. Inside, though, it was warm—awkwardly, dangerously warm.
Mostly because Celia was sitting across from , face red.
"I... I said it already... I love you, Kaiser. I really do. Too much, probably. That’s why I get so jealous—why I get so... obsessed." Her voice trembled.
She rambled the last word, starting to crawl towards slowly.
I blinked. "I genuinely didn’t expect you to drop that on like this, Celia."
She froze mid-crawl—yes, mid-crawl—hands folded in her lap while she tried to gather the rest of her courage. A sly smile flickered across her lips, but her eyes were pure panic.
"I... I..." She trailed off into helpless stuttering.
"Do you want to sit next to ?" I asked gently, because she looked like she might combust, faint.
She nodded so shyly it could’ve counted as a bow.
I smirked and gave her the slightest tilt of my head—permission granted.
She moved toward slowly, carefully. When she finally sat beside , her thigh brushed mine. Just that faint touch made her tense up. Blush flooded her cheeks; I swear I could hear her heartbeat over the storm.
I leaned slightly her way. "So, Celia?"
Her tongue tripped over itself. "Y-Yes... K-Kai..."
That nickna hit differently coming from her—soft, earnest, terrified. She was still fidgeting with her sleeves, twisting the fabric like she was trying to wring her nerves out through it.
Honestly... I’d always known sothing was off—no, not off. Different. Her care was never just "friendly." Follow around where I went. Her eyes followed too quietly. Her reactions were too sharp when soone else got close. I’d chalked it up to her being... Well, Celia. Turns out I was just emotionally slow on the uptake despite supposedly being the "mature" one.
I exhaled slowly. "This love... Can you tell when it actually started?"
Her breath hitched. She hesitated, then—almost painfully—reached toward . Her hand shook like she was touching fire. When her fingers finally brushed mine, she instantly tensed...
So I turned my hand and let hers rest fully on top of it.
Her shoulders dropped a fraction. She took a deep, trembling breath—one that sounded like she was bracing her heart for impact.
Her lips parted, voice barely above a whisper.
She squeezed my hand a little tighter, grounding herself before she spoke.
"When we first t... in the forest," she whispered, "I liked you already. You saved from those Noctis Graspers... and you gave sothing to eat." Her lips trembled, embarrassed but sincere. "No one had done that for in... years. You made laugh. You made smile. I didn’t even rember what that felt like."
Her fingers curled tighter around mine; this ti it wasn’t fear — it was emotion spilling over.
"It felt like... like the wish I kept making since I was little finally ca true. Soone... actually cared."
I let her continue, quietly nodding.
"And I-I got attached to you so fast... even though we only spent minutes together at first. You told those stupid, reckless stories just to make laugh. You... you always tried to make smile. Didn’t you?"
I shrugged lightly. "Guess you looked better smiling than frowning. So I did what I could."
Her laugh burst out, small and sweet. "In doing that, you won , okay? Completely."
Then her expression softened into sothing deeper, the stormy red of her eyes warming.
"And after that... every single ti you risked your life for — against Ronan, against Kiel, even when my powers tried to take over — you still stepped toward . Never away." Her breath trembled.
"When I was treating your wounds in Levinton... I was already in love with you."
"Really?" I asked, honestly surprised.
She nodded shyly. "You were so gentle with ... even when you were the one bleeding."
She paused, thinking, then began rambling with a nervous rush.
"When I fed you soup I was... happy. When I changed your bandages I was happy. Even when you were asleepI— I felt happier just knowing you were still with ." Her voice went tiny.
"Everything about taking care of you... made feel like I finally had sothing precious."
Then her eyes widened a bit. "A-Am I talking too much? Is this annoying?"
"Yes," I said, leaning in with the faintest smirk, "it’s annoyingly perfect. Keep going."
Her face lit up instantly.
She tucked a strand of white hair behind her ear and continued. "Rember... that ti I tried one of Emma’s dresses? And you said you’d like it if I wore black?"
I glanced at her outfit. Now that she ntioned it... she had been wearing black almost every damn day since I ca back.
"Don’t tell you changed your whole style because of one offhand comnt I made."
She laughed softly. "Maybe I did. I wanted you to look at and think I was pretty... even if it was silly. I love everything about you, Kai. The way you talk, the way you tease, the way you care for even when you pretend not to."
She nudged my shoulder, a playful spark in her eyes. "And rember when you called your ’wife’ in front of the whole village? You were annoying so much that day!"
I snorted. "You were probably getting tired of being that cute. So I gave you an official title."
Her cheeks flared even redder, but her smile was unstoppable.
"I love that title."
I reached over and gave her a gentle flick on the forehead.
"You’re a bold girl, you know that?"
She puffed her cheeks instantly, glaring up at with indignation.
"I know what I want," she huffed, "and I’m not scared to get it."
"Oh?" I tilted my head, giving her the look. "And is it... that you want?"
Her confidence shattered into sparks. She froze, face going scarlet, then practically lted against my shoulder like her bones gave up on existing.
"...Yes," she whispered. "It’s you. I want you for myself."
Her fingers curled around my sleeve, holding on like she was scared I’d disappear if she blinked.
"You’re my first love," she murmured, "and you’ll always be my only love. Forever... I promise."
That one hit harder than I expected.
I cleared my throat, trying to break the intensity before she killed with devotion alone.
"So tell ... which one of my outfits gives you butterflies?"
Her head snapped up. "E-EH?! Why would you even—"
I raised a brow. "Oh co on. You definitely have one."
Her eyes darted away. Her voice shrank.
"...The dark overcoat. The one you wore when you ca to rescue during the Rinascita trial." Her hands twisted nervously. "You looked... really good."
I smirked. "My clingy wife rembers everything I do."
She slapped my arm weakly. "Of course I do!"
I shook my head with a grin. "Yeah, yeah, princess. You’re a special one."
She gave a look — the kind that ant I’m about to do sothing bold and you can’t stop . And this is just insurance to let you know you’re mine!
Then she slid closer, looped her arm through mine, and hugged it tight like she claid exclusive rights on the limb.
"Uh— hello?" I asked, amused. "You good?"
"No." She tugged a bit closer. "Co here... I’m not done wanting you."
I choked out a laugh. "You’re adorable, princess."
Her eyes snapped up, sharp and serious.
"Call Celia. Only that."
I arched an eyebrow. "Isn’t ’princess’ cuter? Most girls would faint if I called them that—"
"Only Celia." She leaned in, voice soft but absolute. "It’s the na you gave . I want to hear it from you."
I sighed dramatically. "Ugh... and my wife."
She poked my chest. "Say my na!"
"Celia."
"Again."
"Celia."
"Again! Again!"
"Celiaaaaa."
"AGAIN!" she demanded, leaning so close her breath hit my lips.
"CeliaaaaAAaAAa!" I said it like a man being held at knife-point.
Her face blossod into a radiant smile. Then suddenly her hands were on my cheeks, warm and gentle as she cupped them, pulling closer.
"I’m so happy," she breathed. "I love you so, so much."
The mont she cupped my face, her thumbs brushing my cheeks, I knew I was dood.
"Celia—"
Too late.
She leaned in and planted a quick kiss on my cheek.
Then another.
Then three in a row.
Peck. Peck. Peck.
"Hey— wait—"
Peck-peck-peck-peck.
"Celia—!"
She suddenly pressed a kiss to my lips, feather-light and quick, then pulled back with a playful grin.
"I can’t stop," she declared proudly.
Then she tackled .
I lost my balance completely, falling back onto the blankets with a thud.
"Oof—! Celia!"
She climbed right on top of , straddling my waist like she’d done this a hundred tis, her hair falling around us like a white curtain.
And then—
Peck.
Peck.
PECK.
"Ugh— you little angry bird—"
"Noww!" she protested between attacks.
Kiss.
"You’re—"
Kiss.
"mine—"
Kiss.
"mine—"
Kiss.
"MINE!"
She purposely missed my lips on every other kiss just so she could cover everything — my jawline, my nose, my cheeks, my forehead, whatever she could reach.
I swear she was creating a map of for future reference.
I barely had ti to breathe.
"Celia— I need a—"
She suddenly collapsed onto my chest dramatically, playing dead.
I blinked down at her. "What... finally tired?"
She muffled into my shirt, "One second... I’m recharging."
"Oh thank the—"
She popped up.
Peck-peck-peck-peck-peck!
"CELIA—!"
She paused just long enough to announce loudly,
"One—"
Peck.
"Two—"
Peck.
"Three—"
Peck.
"Four—"
Her kisses tickled. Which ant I grinned. Which ant she grinned like she discovered a cheat code and doubled her efforts.
"Five— six— seven— eight— nine— ten— eleven— twelve— thirt—"
I grabbed her sides.
Her eyes widened.
"No— w-wait— Kai— don’t you— rkh—!!"
I started tickling.
Her entire soul combusted.
"STO—HAHA— NO— KAISER— HAHAHA— I CAN’T— I— Hahaha—!"
She squird on top of , laughter bubbling uncontrollably, trying to escape but failing miserably because I held her in place. Her hair brushed my face, her giggles warm and bright, echoing off the inside of the tent.
Finally she collapsed onto again, breathless, flushed, and smiling like she’d just won a battle she wasn’t trained for.
Her laughter faded into soft little trembles against my chest.
She was still sprawled on top of , breathing fast from all the laughing and ambush-kisses... and then suddenly—She froze.
Her body stiffened just a little, like she suddenly realized exactly where she was sitting.
And her blush?
Absolutely catastrophic.
"K-Kai..." she whispered, voice shrinking as her cheeks reddened.
Before she could overthink herself into a coma, I steadied her — my hands sliding gently to her waist.
She jolted like I’d just set her on fire.
"H-hey—! D-don’t just... do that...!" she squeaked, shoulders curling, thighs squeezing a little instinctively.
I smirked. "Relax. You are the one straddling ."
She absolutely hid in my chest after hearing that, burying her face so deep I almost lost her.
"Kaiii..." she whined, voice muffled.
I brushed her hair back from her face, fingers slipping through the soft strands. She shivered — not from cold, but from being seen like this.
Her breath steadied... then trembled... then steadied again.
And in a tiny voice, barely audible:
"...did you... like it?"
I blinked. "Like what?"
She didn’t move.
"...b-being kissed by ..." she whispered, so soft it almost lted into my shirt.
Oh she was destroyed saying that.
I could practically feel her soul curling up into a blushing ball.
I let out a slow, dramatic sigh. Ti to poke the queen.
"Well," I said, dragging the word out, "my obsessed wife was kinda... persistent."
She lifted her head in a snap, glaring cutely. "I’M NOT— hey—! I’m not persistent— I just— I love you— and—!"
"And you attacked because of love?" I teased.
She weakly thumped my chest with one small fist.
"You’re an..."
"I’m honest," I corrected.
She sank back down, still flustered.
"...so... did you like it?"
I tilted her chin up gently, making her et my eyes.
"Yeah," I said softly. "I liked it."
Her lips parted.
Her whole body relaxed against like she’d been waiting her whole life for those words.
She slowly slid down, resting fully against , her cheek pressed to my chest as the lantern flickered beside us.
Her fingers curled around the fabric of my shirt — almost needy, but gentle.
"...I’ve... never felt this safe," she murmured. "Not with anyone. Only you."
I wrapped an arm around her.
"Celia?"
"Mhm?"
"You’re crushing my ribs."
She gasped and lifted her head. "S-sorry—!"
I tugged her back down. "Co here, obsessed wife."
She let out a tiny gasp but lted instantly, curling into like she belonged there.
The blizzard battered the outside of the tent, but inside... Everything was warm.
She spoke into my chest again, voice delicate.
"...Kai?"
"Yeah?"
"...don’t push away. Ever."
I tightened my hold around her.
"I won’t."
She exhaled slowly, content.
She was still sitting on top of , hips resting lightly against my stomach, arms draped over my chest like she was claiming territory. Her cheeks were still pink from earlier, and she kept stealing these tiny, embarrassed glances at .
I brushed a strand of white hair from her face.
She pressed her forehead to my chest, mumbling sothing I couldn’t catch.
"Celia... you okay down there?" I asked, trying very hard to sound normal.
She nodded... then shook her head... then nodded again.
A warning sign.
After a long mont, she whispered, voice trembling like she was confessing a cri:
"Then... it ans you’re my husband now... right?"
I blinked.
Twice.
Maybe four tis.
"...Huh?"
She slowly lifted her head, eyes glossy and hopeful.
"I kissed you more than fifty tis," she said, deadly serious, "it ans we’re bound forever. So... we’re married now. Obviously."
My soul briefly left my body.
"Wait— what book is this from—?"
She puffed her cheeks, offended I wasn’t celebrating our sudden wedding.
"That’s how it works," she insisted, tapping my chest. "Fifty kisses ans eternal union."
"...Since when?"
"Since Lucas told !"
I stared at her.
Then stared at the ceiling.
Lucas.
Her source was Lucas.
Of all people.
"Celia," I said slowly, "Lucas’s entire knowledge base is just..."
"’Source: Trust bro.’"
She tilted her head, confused. "But why would he lie?"
Oh.
Oh this was a setup.
A strategically calculated strike.
Internally I was screaming.
No. Just no. How did my life even get here? I didn’t sign up for this. I didn’t even read the fine print of life saying: "Warning: Lucas is your friend."
I won at rock-paper-scissors a few tis. Few. And now he’s out here plotting revenge like I just declared war on his entire existence. Even normal enemies don’t do this. Normal enemies are at least plotting so bloodshed, not marriage...
What did I do? Did I offend his entire bloodline? Did I sneeze in Lucas’ general direction once in 2016? Because apparently that’s enough to warrant a full-scale betrayal. I feel... small. Pathetic.
And Lucas? He’s smiling, calm, totally "trust , bro" as if he’s helping. Helping. Yeah, right. That’s exactly what the villain says right before the "surprise trap" scene. And I... I’m trapped.
Celia leaned closer, eyes sparkling, her lips brushing my cheek like a punctuation mark.
"So... that ans I’m your wife. Right?" she asked, voice soft and dangerously cute. "Forever?"
I opened my mouth.
Nothing ca out.
She poked my chest again. "Say it~"
"Celia," I said, trying to steady my voice, "you can’t just— declare marriage— over kiss counts—"
"But they weren’t just kisses," she said quickly, cheeks glowing. "They were mine. And they were for you. That counts."
I swallowed. Hard.
She curled against , arms sliding around my waist in a quietly possessive way, like she was hugging her claim tighter.
"Besides..." she murmured, "you didn’t stop . You held . That ans you accepted."
I felt her smile against my chest.
"And husbands shouldn’t break their bride’s heart."
I was dood.
"So I’m supposed to just nod and agree because Lucas told you so? That’s... absurd. And I’m still alive, by the way."
"I don’t care!" she shot back, leaning closer, eyes blazing. "You’re mine, Kai. Forever! That’s how it works!"
I chuckled. "Celia, if kissing fifty tis makes you my wife, then technically, Lucas’s word must be the law?"
"Nonononono! You are mine now! Forever!" she argued, shoving a finger at my chest. "Lucas said so!"
What is this situation I am in...? Well. Desperate monts need desperate asures. I’ll have to go with this strategy.
"I just..." I exhaled slowly. "You’re not my type."
Her expression shattered so fast I almost reached up to fix it with my hands. Her lips parted, trembling, her usual confident smirk nowhere in sight.
"Not your... type?" she echoed, barely audible.
"...Why?" she pressed, leaning closer, her forehead nearly touching mine. "Why... why not ?"
I stayed quiet.
She bit her lip, panic creeping into her eyes. "...Tell ! You have to... I need to know!"
Still nothing.
Her hands shook now, clutching my shirt like she was afraid I’d leave. "...Please... just tell what I’m missing. What do I need to do?!"
I didn’t move. Didn’t speak.
Her chest heaved, desperation spilling out in ragged breaths. "...Is it sothing I can fix? Sothing I can—can be?"
I only looked at her. Silent. Unmoving.
She pressed closer, almost on the verge of tears. "...Then... then tell ... If I’m not enough as I am... how do I beco soone you can’t let go of?"
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