.
.
But... then why do I feel this tightness in my chest? Why is there sothing inside that still resists, that refuses to accept it? Who would cry for soone like if I disappear? Is it the sa in this life? Who would cry for...?
Oh, wait, yes... there was soone.
Silly Eira cried recently when I started dating her sister. Well, I can’t say I wasn’t amused by her reaction when she pounced on with anger and teary eyes.
If I leave now, she’ll probably celebrate, that damned siscon of my angel.... But... Selene. Yes, Selene cried when I ca back from hunting those crystalline beasts. And she’s not one to cry for just anyone.
And looking back further, when we were hunting in the beginning, I rember how Elena cried a little when I was badly wounded. Though she tried to hide it, scolding for being reckless while healing with potions.
And Alice... Alice cried when she couldn’t fulfill her destiny, or rather, her fantasies of a fated eting. It was over sothing silly, sure, but she certainly cried a little.
They would cry if I died here.... They would, wouldn’t they? ...They probably would....
They all cried for . They weren’t just tears. Those tears are examination that sohow I matter. That I’ve done more than just exist in this world.
Co to think of it, even if I’m not myself, I’ve seen many people cry for my alternate future self.
He lived through so many goodbyes, so many encounters and eternal goodbyes.... That shaped the existence of what my alternate self was, and he bequeathed everything that built it to ....
It is true,
I cannot fall.
Not like this, pathetically.
My alternate self suffered, worse things than but he didn’t give up. He suffered, he struggled, he lost... he still got up, if he could why couldn’t I, this is not even a hint of what my alternate self suffered.
I can’t let all that I’ve lived go to waste, I’m not going to fall in a little place like this, this damned examination is nothing more than another step on my way.
I am not going to fall for this place that only talks nonsense, a place that is only playing with words and my feelings as it pleases.
..
.
At that mont, I opened my eyes. I looked around and saw my three reflections: my old self, my self from my previous life and Seraphina.
I also saw how the darkness had consud from my feet to my neck, leaving only my face uncovered. It was a viscous, organic darkness, simply disgusting.
[Huh? .... what happened? It was ti to rest, why did you open your eyes? Let’s go back to nothing as we always wish, it’s so close... now what’s stopping you...? we have nothing, let’s give up, we were doing well, just obediently close your eyes again and rest].
My fat self spoke to when he noticed I opened my eyes again, but no... I couldn’t just listen to them again.
"You think I’m going to give up because you say so, you fucker!!? Who do you think you are to tell what I want? It’s true, in my past life I wanted to just end it all, I didn’t want anything, I didn’t expect anything, I was tired of it."
[Then just...]
"Shut up! I’m not done. Fuck!!!, In my past life it sucked, I did so many things wrong and just seeing you reminds of it. Yes, it’s true, I’ve run away and escaped from reality. but I’ve had enough of that, you want to give up and let it all go, that’s really fucking running away!!. it’s true, sotis so things in this world make it seem like fiction and I tend to unconsciously categorize it that way."
I began to free myself from that slimy darkness. My hands broke free, and began to tear away chunk by chunk of the darkness that clung to .
"But so what? I’m facing and living this world as seriously as I can. Even if they were, I don’t think of anyone in this world as a made-up or play character. I think of them as real, living people!."
[Lies! You just...]
"Fuck! I told you to shut up!. I’m talking!!. Listen, you piece of shit. No one, absolutely no one is going to tell what I believe is true or false! You’re just a piece of shit created from my insecurities, and I’m going to destroy you!"
I ripped away every last piece of that darkness and tore it away, freeing my feet. The heaviness and feeling of suffocation hadn’t stopped, but I simply ignored them and started walking toward the mirror of my more talkative self.
"Only I decide what to do with my life. I’m not running away from anything. In the past, maybe, but now I’m enjoying every day of this fucking new life that crappy goddess gave . And yes, if I want to make a harem, my resolution is not as a simple collection.
[...]
"I’m going to love each and every one of them until they don’t want anymore! You just say shit because you’ve never been in love, but now I’m sure, you piece of shit. I like those girls. I love them and I will seriously care for them to the end."
My throat was dry, I didn’t know if it was possible here, but I didn’t want to stop. My steps slowly but surely approached the mirror.
"I love Elena, who has been with since I ca into this world and has accepted everything from . I love Alice, who was the first to declare her love to soone as undeserving as , who didn’t have the courage to return it. The sa with Selene. She, by now, knows I cheated on her. and yet she didn’t leave my side. As disgusting and vile as I was, she chose ! Fuck, my ties in this world aren’t sothing soone like you should judge."
Thud
I hit the mirror with my fist, but it rely made a thud. Still, I didn’t stop.
"They are bonds I built. Only they and I will decide if we want to break them when I tell them the whole truth. Sa with Astrid, even though our relationship is only based on lust, only she and I will decide how to proceed."
Thud....Thud....Thud...
My strokes were increasing in force and began to crack the mirror.
"Sa with my friends - Silvia, Lys, even that bastard and degenerate William. He’s a good friend now. Team Dynamite, the indecipherable Cordelia, the transvestite Aurora, the annoying Eira... and my idiot father, along with my kind and dangerous stepmothers, each and every one will decide how to proceed and no one has the right to interfere."
Bommmm... bommmm... bammmm.
"Fuck, I’m just starting this fucking life and you want to give up like this, fuck you! I know what’s coming won’t be easy, but I can’t let it all end here, not in a little place like this! So fuck you, you fat piece of shit, We should have exercised and changed our lifestyle to begin with, because I should even think about going back to being you, you and I aren’t the sa anymore!"
Bommmm...bammmm.... bommmm... .
"You still said things that made sense, you piece of shit.... I’ll keep that in mind."
Crack,... crack.... Shatter
Finishing what I wanted to say, I cracked the mirror of my previous life self, but I wasn’t done. I continued on to the other mirror. This ti I was faster and I was starting to feel stronger.
"And you, old woman, you yourself told to go ahead, no matter how disgusting, idiotic and stupid my dream was. And you’re absolutely fucking right! My life is mine alone, and I’ll do what I want with it! No one is going to tell what to do. And fuck you too for calling a creep, you’re not even the one who gave those mories, you’re just a badly made thing out of this shitty mirror."
Shatter.... Clink.... Clink
Just one blow was enough to break the second mirror of old Seraphina, who was just staring at impassively. Without wasting ti, I went towards the last one.
"And as for you... go complain to the fucking goddess who reincarnated in your body! What are you doing here? You don’t contribute anything, you’ve only co here to say stupid things complaining. I already know what kind of trash of a person you were, because of your mories!, you have no right to tell anything. Your parents, who loved you, didn’t even realize that I usurped your body, Even when I acted like myself., they didn’t even hesitate, because they never knew what they were raising, you are the most bizarre thinking person I know, so fuck you, bitch."
Shatter.... Clink.... Clink!
Breaking Seraphina’s last mirror, I finally felt like I had let off steam and all the bad feelings and oppressions were released from . And finally, to make my point clear:
"Fuck you all, and get out of here! I don’t have ti to talk bullshit, I have a goal to accomplish and my insecurities are not going to stop ."
Saying that, I began to gather a large amount of mana inside my body. This was my mind and the limit was my imagination, so I began to create sothing that should be impossible.
I began to glow all over my body with a mixture of pink, deep purple and gold. In my hand appeared a beautifully carved golden spear; it was my legacy weapon.
Once I had it in my hands, I finally felt a little connection with reality, I positioned myself and with all my strength, I shouted attacking the nothingness.
"THE ART OF LUST, NINTH POSTURE: ULTIMATE ECSTASY!!!"
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