The not-yet ten year old heiress saw her beloved’s quiet determination to fulfill her duty and the potential to remain true to herself. Her attraction to those who protect others like it was absolute nature - and not *second* nature was nothing new. It was at the core of all of her romantic pursuits throughout her last life.
’I love her. It’s so hard to not lose control of my intent in front of all these people and drown them in my spirit. Oh, look at and just understand I love you! Ugh. Soday... I’m not going to be able to hold back.’
The worst part was she knew it might not co until she was even *stronger* - once she figured out a way to reach Breacher. The ancient cultivator had known since the mont she paid enough attention to the falsely gendered ’boy’ on the day they t... that she was never going to stop spinning head over heels until forced to.
But that day and so many others since, the brunette had felt like the rate of spin was going to make her overwhelmingly dizzy with nothing but Qat able to fit in her mind, sight, and heart.
--->
Elua sighed, laying in her bed and drenching herself in the mory one further ti. When it was done, she reached out with her spirit trying to connect with the fragnt she’d given her ’fortress’. The connection was *there*, but frustratingly quiet due to the distance.
She could at least feel the part of herself - lding into sothing more - that resided in Qatrand. Yet the rest of her beloved remained tantalizingly out of reach... all due to a mission assigned to her so *quickly*. For a while, she fud at the Guild that dared to separate them!
But even she knew that such a grudge was silly and would never be approved by her beloved. This led to her thinking of many other such things that Qatrand er Yecine might not sanction. She rolled over in her bed as a thought crystallized, shattered, and reford until it was as solid as diamond. The young teenager murmured out in a monotone within the empty room.
"There’s no way I can let Qat wander around the warzone on her own, when the Descent cos. I’ll need to find a way to reasonably be by her side almost all the ti, no matter what. Especially if I intend to manipulate events where I can for her benefit."
The resolution brought a twitch to her lips that might have been an attempt to smile. She would sche to ensure that future separations would be far fewer and shorter. After all, what good was all her power and knowledge if she couldn’t protect the one she loved most while hiding... standing close at hand?
The girl’s spirit chilled as her ideas of protection drifted to less socially pleasant territories. The image of that challenger at their wedding... his eyes fixed on her Qat with barely concealed drunken desire.
As potentially misplaced as it was - if the man’s preferential orientation was for the falsehood the Yecine presented and not the person underneath - it still spoke of the general desirability of her husband-wife. An official claim like marriage usually took care of most of these problems, but her mother’s history was proof that this peaceful society did not take the threat of touching others’ things as seriously as they should.
There was that flirtatious liaison from Qatrand’s mission to the anomaly site, after all... and both of those making ’trouble’ *knew* that the Goltbred and the Yecine were betrothed at the ti.
"Those with good eyes, but covetous hearts. All the more reason to stay close. I won’t give anyone the chance to even think they could steal what’s mine."
Elua sat up in her bed while muttering in a bitter monotone. She began to hug her knees to her chest while trying to contain her spirit. The ’ugly’ possessiveness that surged through her was familiar... a lurid remnant of her past life that she had never quite managed to *fully* put behind her.
When trust is given to the one you loved, it is either kept or broken. Despite it being the latter more often than the forr, the scher only had the capability to hand her faithfulness out completely or not at all.
So treated trust as a structure that could survive damage and repairs... but for long lived cultivators inhabiting the world, betrayal equaled death - one way or another. It was more like a personalized, limited edition coin, to the ancient cultivator. Expecting it to either be cherished until the one holding it perished or ascended did not seem like it should be so difficult, to her.
’I trust Qat. I don’t trust anyone else. Too many others have taken from .’
Her dark thoughts brought to mind another separation, one from her first millennia that still burned in her mory with as much startling clarity as her more recent days with her latest beloved.
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