The Ogre Strength Fairy and the Eldest 'Son' Chapter 131 - My, What Big Baggage I Have! / All The Better

The Yecine stood rigid in the small ho. Each slight touch of her spirit against any surface brought a fresh wave of sensation - the longing so fierce it made her hyperventilate, the anger that burned like snaking acid under her skin, and the fears so chilling that her stomach felt like a lump of solid ice.

Finally unable to continue, she pulled back everything and just breathed to collect herself. Qatrand felt frayed, vulnerable, and all too overwheld. When she spoke, her low voice held such a thick emotional tone that it sounded like she was growling.

"I had no idea you would be like this."

The brunette hung back and lowered her head. Her spirit had pulled inward the mont she felt her beloved recoil hers. Sha blanched her young cheeks. It was not the first ti she had ever heard that kind of assessnt, though she had hoped those kinds of words would never be spoken to her by the swordswoman.

"I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have those thoughts. I should have controlled myself better. I-"

The heiress broke off as Qat suddenly stomped on the ground. Pigeon-blue eyes turned to face her wife, absolutely shimring with the wet of angry tears. Even if her reaction was being strengthened by what she just went through, it was still her own.

"NO! I’m the one at fault. I should have understood..."

The blonde took a firm step towards her and so many tendrils of spirit reached out that the illusionist would normally think she was being attacked. Yet, not a single one sought to do anything of the sort. They just reached around her form and waited patiently to be ’forgiven’.

"I already knew what you were like when you couldn’t find . It was more than enough warning. I took your blessing to leave for granted."

A lump ford in the brunette’s throat again as she continued speaking. While she wanted to be cherished - and probably even craved to be spoiled - the girl didn’t want the cultivator to second guess decisions just because of this event. Especially when it involved whether her beloved felt *safe* to follow her path.

"You’ve told only a few stories of your past. Now I get why, even more than before. This... if these are the feelings they gave you, El, then I wasn’t listening close enough."

As actual arms encircled her, she felt with weak, careful pings that the maelstrom of emotions inside the blonde had begun to calm. When a bit of wetness splashed on her head, the brunette’s fingers twisted the silvery fabric of her dress. The eyes that would much rather be vibrant, affectionate mint when being embraced by the person she loved were dulled not just with their ’real’ listless nature... but with true worry.

"Qat, I... I really need you to understand . This isn’t sothing that will always happen. I truly don’t want this to restrict you. I don’t want..."

Elua’s monotone actually noticeably wavered in its cadence, if not in pitch. The panic she felt running ho was one kind of fear and this one was another. She took a steadying breath before she continued to explain.

"Your Guild work, your training, the things you want or feel you need to do outside of us - they’re important to . I never want you to be afraid to do them out of worry like this. It’s just... when you are gone, sotis I can’t help but..."

She trailed off again, struggling to find the *right* words that wouldn’t have the opposite of her intent settle into her ’fortress’. Qatrand had remained silent, her eyes fixed on the top of the girl’s head. When it beca clear the girl needed so soft prompting to continue her thoughts, she encouraged her to continue.

"Okay. I hear you, El. But what you want and how you feel is also important to . Tell more."

The gentle prodding - in the low tone of voice that the heiress had daydread of *repeatedly* in the last days - seed to finally unlock sothing. The spiritual sense of the illusionist, the bulk of which had been tightly pressed into a sphere around her heart, began to cautiously expand.

When it tentatively brushed against the edges of the Yecine’s, the taller girl almost instinctively wrapped her own energy about it - almost like it was trying to tug it further out. The intent lining the spiritual energy held so much warmth that spoke of ’acceptance’ and ’love’, that the dull eyes ’enduring’ it quivered.

The swordswoman’s arms slithered to find and twine her fingers with that of her small wife. At the sa ti she kneeled to even their eyeline... attempting to offer as much comfort without words as she could. Because while she didn’t know the perfect thing to say, she did know that it ultimately didn’t matter.

’El will just talk when she is ready. It’s still cute that she can’t help it.’

While the blonde certainly had other things she could be doing beyond sit there and wait, there were still hours more she *would* willingly do so. The demure voice that eventually found the emotional room to speak to her was slathered with all the ’disbelief’ that her returned facade could muster.

"Are you... are you still sure about this? About ? Even after seeing..."

Her own disgusted gaze swept across the room while taking in the wasteful devastation of ’intent’ she had wrought upon it. While she wasn’t exactly a full ’mber’ of so many of the Guilds she had trespassed into to learn in the past, the majority of the spiritualism focused institutions had one teaching in common.

’Actions have aning. This... wasn’t the action of soone that should be-’

Qat quickly sent a hand up midway through the girl’s thought that held waves of ’self-recrimination’. It cupped the reincarnator’s cheek and guided her face back to et her clear eyes. Only... the corners of them still had a bit of unusual redness from the sudden crying the blonde did a bit ago.

The teenager leaned forward as she pulled the complex, worriso, girl that ant so much to her a bit closer. Their foreheads pressed together for a few seconds before she answered.

"I’m sure, El. This still doesn’t change how I feel about you. I’ll keep telling you this, again and again - no matter what. Until you are satisfied that you can’t lose my love in this way, my wife."

The gesture of intimacy and the words accompanying it finally released that sob that had been stuck in the brunette’s throat for so many minutes. Her eyes closed as she leaned into the points of contact, small fingers squeezing against that of the ’older’ teenager. She couldn’t care that she *should* be the mature one between them.

"A-alright..."

The girl didn’t elaborate on the thoughts she had been having, or particularly acknowledge that she had been caught having them - but Qatrand could feel the ’scars’ of ’pain’ in the way Elua’s spirit trembled against hers. They scattered across the unusually bared surface of the cultivator’s particularly intense energy... even more viciously than the bits in the walls and floor.

"Tell another story. I want to understand."

The Yecine urged gently and the girl leaning into her humd an acknowledgent. A silence followed, in which their spirits continued their dance of familiarization as the ancient soul debated on whether to use a tale she wanted to tell... or one that she didn’t.

’If I can’t tell her the things that I don’t want to, then won’t I always be holding back?’

The steady presence holding onto her was doing a lot to serve as a balm to her previously frayed edges. Just because she ca to the conclusions about the cause of her misbehavior didn’t an she would *effectively* return to normal on her own. She knew from experience that it was easy to slip once you’ve already done so.

But that small worry was more than overshadowed by the growing connection between them. It was almost funny to her... the story she was going to tell.

’After all, I’m the one who can barely think of anything but her anymore.’

Mint eyes t pigeon-blue as she was allowed to back a little away. She freely showed ’unease’ in her expression, but despite that *display* - she was a lot calr now. The girl even felt like there could be a real chance she wouldn’t be looked at like a monster!

"There’s... one... well there are a lot of them I’ll need to tell you. We’ll just do this one today so that I can move on to cleaning this place up. It’s not a pleasant story, but it might help you understand."

Her voice shifted to sothing that was not truly that of her ’natural’ monotone. It only kept an even pitch and cadence as she first began to set the scene. Remaining as dispassionate as possible always helped to get the words out.

"Long ago, there was a partner I had. Like all of them, they were always rushing to defend others. I... I loved that about them."

While she spoke of the past, everything about the look on her face made it clear that it was just as true in the present situation. She loved that Qatrand er Yecine was an existence that could value the safety of others because it *should* be done, not because there was a reason to do it.

"One day, they didn’t co back from a mission they’d went on without . Ti was critical, so it wasn’t the first ti she left like that. But... it was the first ti I’d... lost soone I was in love with so suddenly."

Despite trying to remain impassive, she found herself in a sudden instance of catatonia. The illusionist had to quickly discard her facade so that the twitchy state would not alarm the blonde taking every detail of her in.

In her mind, it was nice to act like you wanted and felt you should... but for these monts she felt like her apparent lethargy was superior. Especially when it wasn’t the first ti she was seen like this. She was more and more thankful that she had *bravely* shown off her ’real’ side long ago.

"After that... a *long* while after that, which is a whole different tale... I t soone new. He was just as brave, and just as selfless. The kind I so easily grew infatuated with when I was unattached."

While she spoke of the past, everything about the look on her face was blank and would have hid that it was just as true in the present ti - if she bothered to stop staring and pulsing her feelings of deep affection at the swordswoman. The pressure of her experiences would never let her even try to quit.

’It’s almost terrifying to think. Suddenly or not... losing her would be bad. For . For this continent, or at least my surroundings. For whatever tries to stop from ascending and getting her back.’