My parents had to have their reasons for uprooting us so fast; there was clearly sothing going on, and it had to do with that damned Mr. Blaxen. Whatever he told my parents in the dining room really must’ve shaken them. If only they’d just freaking tell .
Arriving at and Varis’s bedroom, I stopped when I heard sniffling on the other side. That’s right, I thought; he ran up here earlier. I took a deep breath and knocked on the door. At least I’d give him the courtesy of letting him know I was here.
“Go away!” Varis cried.
My nerves were still on edge, and I responded in an equally shaky voice. “Varis, it’s , Luna.”
I heard a faint mumble: “O-Oh…” There was shuffling, grunting, and objects moving behind the door. Did this kid barricade the door? I thought as he cracked it open, his head poking out, his eyes puffy and red. “Co-Co on in,” he said, and opened it a little more. The chair and his bedside chest had been pushed into the middle of the floor.
He really did fortify the room. I stepped in, and he shut the door. Without warning, he flung his arms around and pulled into a tight hug.
“Gyak!” I squeaked. “Can’t… breathe!” My back popped before he released and left hunched over, gasping for breath.
“You’re not going to let them take you away, are you? You said no, right? Didn’t you?” He bombarded with desperate questions.
I paused to breathe and then shook my head. “No.”
“Why not?” His voice wavered. “You’re smart! You can talk them out of it.”
I straightened up and looked at Varis sadly. “All three of them are very adamant that I go.”
“Ada—what? N-Never mind. You need to tell them no.” Varis crossed his arms.
“I wish I could, Varis,” I sulked as I went over to my bed and sat down. “But Mom and Papa seem scared. Even Soza.”
“Scared about what?” Varis huffed. “Mom knows magic, and Papa used to be a cool soldier, and now he’s a constable! Soza is super good at shooting! They’re all aweso; why would they be scared?” He threw his arms up.
“I don’t know. But haven’t you noticed that Mom and Papa have been very nice lately? Like, more so than usual? Papa is taking a lot of ti off of work, Mom is telling us stories and showing us more magic, and Papa started showing us how to shoot.” I sighed.
Maybe I’m just reading too much into things, I thought. Overthinking as per usual.
If there was one thing, I wished had left when I died and woke up in this world, it was my damned paranoia. I couldn’t help but fear that sothing was out to get , that sothing was wrong with . Father and Mother made it clear they weren’t sending away just to send away, and I saw it in their faces. They genuinely looked scared.
Varis ca over and sat beside . “I haven’t really thought about it… I just liked all the attention.” His voice sounded unusually mature as he sniffed and wiped his eyes. Then his face broke, and he covered it. “I don’t want you to leave. I don’t have many friends, and you’re so fun to be around. Wh-Who’s going to be my brain when you’re gone?”
My heart ached hearing that. “Oh, you big goof. It won’t be too bad,” I said in a hushed tone. “Soza said it’d only be for four years.”
“That’s so long, though!” Varis cried, and I sighed quietly.
“I know, it’s a long ti. But it’ll be okay; Father says we can use these things called image casters, and I can write letters and stuff!” I said, trying to find a silver lining in all of this.
I doubted there was any way I could weasel my way out of this, and even if there was, I definitely didn’t want to upset my folks. Maybe it would be best to go with Soza to this academy in Iona. The thought was terrifying—to go across an entire ocean, go abroad. They didn’t even speak Maurich there.
Even in my old life, the furthest I ever traveled from ho was eighty miles to my state capital. That’s it. I never traveled to another country. I’d dabbled enough in Japanese to survive as a tourist, because I was a dumb weeb, but I’d barely thought of putting those skills to the test.
I was afraid to just go to the gym at night. Always paranoid that sothing might happen. It’s funny that in my past life, I’d worry about so shooting happening, and to think that’s how I died… It kind of made feel vindicated. What if I went to this other country and sothing happened? Not just to , but to my folks? How was I going to help them or help myself?
I didn’t want to go. I was fine here. In this house, with Varis, Mom and Dad, Soza, and my books. Everything was fine as it was.
Part of actually missed my old life now. Maybe because it was easy? I started to wish I could simply sit at a computer, tune out the world, and watch ani. Or play so gas. Dammit, I missed video gas now.
Yet here I was, forced to face my issues.
“I have an idea,” Varis said, his fist striking his palm.
I raised my head. “And what would that be?” I asked, defeated.
“We could run away! You and . I’m strong, and you’re smart. We can beco adventurers!” He bead, and I couldn’t help but crack a smile at that.
I might only be around his age physically, but I wished I was ntally, too. Having the naive and blissful thoughts of a child would be fantastic. Why wasn’t I reborn that way? Why did I still rember everything from before? Whatever, existential questions could co later.
For now, I giggled. “As wonderful as that plan sounds, Varis, I don’t think it’ll work.”
“Why not?” He harrumphed and crossed his arms again. “Mom and Dad did it. I think. So why can’t we?”
“Because Mom and Papa are adults,” I said, throwing my arms up. “You’re like, what? Eight? And I’m going on seven.” I placed my hand on my chest. “We’re just little kids.”
“So what? A lot of my storybooks have kids our age exploring the world.” His cheeks puffed out. He pounded his fist into my bed, then slid himself off and started pacing, kicking the loose toys.
“That’s because those are storybooks, Varis.” I gestured around the room. “This is the real world. Where monsters and bad people are. If you and I run away, a lot of bad things could happen to us.”
“Like what?”
My heart sank into a dark place as a few very, very touchy bad things ca to mind. Especially with the prospect of my new identity. I bit my lip and carefully stepped around the subject. “Like being eaten by monsters or kidnapped by bad n.”
“Then we kill them! Papa showed us how to shoot.”
“We don’t even have a gun.”
“We take Father’s!”
For heaven’s sake, I thought, I’m arguing with a child. Rember, he’s just a kid. Take it slow; don’t get mad.
“Brother,” I said softly, taking a few deep breaths to calm myself, “I am not going to run away. The world out there is scary.”
“How do you know?” He spun around to face . “You never leave the house.”
I gritted my teeth and sighed. “Because I just know.”
“Stop talking like Momma! I’m older, I’ve been around longer!” he growled, his fists balling up.
I swore my teeth felt like they were going to crack. I hated that argunt; even in my old life, hearing “I’m older, therefore I know more” always got under my skin.
“It doesn’t matter if you’re older, Varis.” I did my best to hide my anger, though judging by his reaction, I was doing a bad job.
He too was shaking. He turned away from . “This is unfair!”
“Life isn’t fair!” I snapped at him. “I don’t get a choice in this either! Do you think I want to be sent away?”
“Then run away with !”
I raised my voice. “No!”
Life is never fair; it isn’t ant to be. In my old life, I’d constantly been dealt bad hands. My parents, my school, my job, my hos—none of it was good. The world was shit; everything was overpriced; it was either get a degree and live a life of debt for a job that might get automated in a year or go slave away in a factory or an office. I chose the latter. For years, that life had dealing with overpaid executives screaming at about quotas, deadlines, and whatever else. Sure, now and then I’d gotten to choose which shitty route to go down, but no matter what, it ended in shit. I could’ve quit my job and run away, but then what? Live off social security until I found another job that’d treat exactly the sa? Be holess?
That’s just how life was. And then I died and woke up here. I thought I had escaped from all of that, but even now… in this new world, where it seed like I had found happiness, it was all getting ripped away from . Just like before.
Varis looked at , his lower lip quivering. I sighed and covered my face. “I’m sorry, I didn’t an to scream at you.” Then I looked at the floor. “It’s best we just ride things out. We don’t want to make hasty decisions. We have a whole year to think this over, and who knows…” I smiled lightly at him, trying to seem optimistic. “Things might change. Maybe I won’t need to go away.”
Varis didn’t respond. His gaze drifted to the floor as he idly kicked his feet, his face deep in thought. Then he looked up at . “Can you promise sothing?” he asked, and I blinked at him.
“Promise you what?”
“Do you promise that if you ever do go away, or we get pulled apart…” Varis composed himself and looked deep in the eye. “That you’ll co find ?”
My heart fluttered. I couldn’t help it, my emotions began to bubble up. Crap, did I always cry this much? I sniffed and wiped my eyes as I got up, walked over to him, and hugged him. As much as this kid got on my nerves, I couldn’t not love him.
“I promise, but only if you do the sa for ,” I said as I held him tightly.
Once more, Varis was a jumbled ss as he sobbed and sniffled, his arms encircling . “I promise!” he choked out.
After a few monts, we broke apart and stepped away. We wiped our eyes clean and smiled at one another.
I glanced at the clock and saw that about twenty minutes or so had passed since coming up here. “Well…” I started as I wiped my eyes once more. We shouldn’t keep our parents waiting too long. “Madam Soza brought sothing up at the table earlier.”
Varis puffed his chest out and tugged his collar back into place, trying to pull the cool brother act out. “And what would that be?” he asked.
“She wants to take us all on a field trip.” My smile was real despite the offer having pissed off earlier. Maybe it would cheer Varis up.
His eyes widened. “A field trip? Where?” He shifted, his childish excitent starting to return.
“To the Heinland Mountains. You know those big, scary-looking peaks to the northeast? They’re big and purple in the evening,” I said, and he nodded rapidly. “Soza wants to take us there.”
My brother’s eyes turned into saucers and twinkled not with tears, but with unbridled happiness. It amazed how quickly his mood could shift. “We’re going to be explorers?”
Capitalizing on the mont, I smirked and said, “Better, adventurers.” I winked at him, and his excitent erupted, his fist violently pumping into the air.
“Heck yeah!” Seeing him one-eighty into a happy mood was a massive relief. “I always wanted to climb a mountain! Maybe we’ll see a dragon or a giant!”
I gulped and laughed nervously. “Hopefully from a safe distance!”
“Yeah! But even then, Mom and Papa are cool adventurers; they can fight it—”
“We don’t know that for sure!” I reminded him. “But we won’t know the specifics of the trip till we go down and talk to them so more.”
Varis hesitated as his mood one-eightied back to where I didn’t want him to be. “I—I don’t know,” he stuttered. “Father seed pretty angry.”
I steadied myself, stepped towards him, and grabbed his large hand. “It’s okay. Everyone was on edge but trust when I say that Father cald down shortly after you left. It’s okay; he wasn’t mad at you. He’s just… mad at everything.”
“Doesn’t that include ?”
Shoot, bad choice of words.
I cleared my throat. “What I an is, Papa has a lot on his plate, but that doesn’t include you.” Varis nodded. “Now, c’mon, let’s go talk to them so we can learn when to start packing for the camping trip.”
Varis nodded and held my hand gently as I guided him towards the door. If this was to be my last year with my family before going off with Soza, I could at least try to make it a morable one.
I’m astonished, yet equally horrified, by the Dark Lord’s creations. How can these Oni, the Taken, be so durable? The world around us freezes, and my soldiers can barely keep warm. Yet these creatures hide in the snow unburdened, most of their bodies barely covered. It’s like Enora itself has no effect on them. Wind or snow, these things do not let up. Seven bless , I pray this wasn’t a mistake.
—Records of the Twilight War, chapter 9: March of the White Army.
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