“Truth,” I said softly, almost sounding confused as my eyes shifted away from my father’s. To my surprise, I felt my lips curl up into a slight smile. I then snorted and shook my head. “Oh gods, where do I even begin?” I said, my heart thumping in my chest.
Don’t panic, the rational part of eased. This was bound to co up sooner or later.
But so soon? Now of all ti?
Better now than later. Rip the band-aid off.
“It’s alright, Luna,” Father whispered. “You can tell anything.”
“But can I, really?” I said, surprising myself. “Or really,” I swallowed the lump that was forming in my throat. “Should I?”
“Yes.” He said, his tone unchanging, reached out gently, and placed his hand on my back. “You’re my daughter, I would be heartbroken knowing you felt that you had to keep secrets from your mother or .”
I gritted my teeth, and as always, I gripped my skirt anxiously and began to fiddle with it. You shouldn’t hold this in. You told your brother, Why not tell your father?
That was different. Varis is Varis, young and naive. Goofy and lovable. He’s just a kid, he would accept anything you tell him–
That’s not right to assu, and you know it.
I took in a deep breath and held it. Counted to ten, and slowly let it out. “I’m afraid,” I mumbled, my eyes focusing on the floor.
“Afraid of what?” Father asked, his hand gently stroking my back. “You don’t need to be afraid to talk to us, Luna.”
“I know,” I said, and side-eyed him. “I’m just afraid that if you know what I am–who I am, that you’ll stop…” I trailed off, and to my shock, I was starting to choke up.
“Who you are?” Father blinked, his hand on my back stopping. He leaned over. “Whoa-whoa, Luna, what’s wrong?” He cooed as tears welled up in my eyes.
“I’m afraid you and–you and Momma won’t lo-love ,” I sniffed and tried to suck in air, yet no matter how hard I tried to compose myself, I couldn’t. The floodgates had broken, the door that had opened earlier with Putinov hadn’t shut, and all the grief, the pain, everything I had stowed away was pouring out. “It’s so stupid–I’m stupid! I’m so stupid!” I sobbed.
“Whoa-hey! Stop that,” My father said as he reached over and gently took one of my hands. His other hand cupping the side of my face, he forced to look at him. “You stop saying that krek right now, you hear ?” He said firmly, yet I didn’t say anything at first, and his eyes narrowed. “Listen to , young lady, you aren’t stupid, you aren’t dumb. You’re none of those things. Got it?”
I sniffed and nodded hesitantly. “You don’t know the full story…” I whimpered pathetically, my eyes diverting again.
“Then you better start telling , Luna. I can’t help you if I don’t know what’s going on,” He said, softening up a little. “Why don’t you start from the beginning?”
“It’s a long story,” I muttered.
“By the Seven, Luna,” Father said, frustrated. “We’re stuck in this magical door place till the storm blows over. We have ti. Now either you fess up about what’s bothering you, or well,” He trailed off. “Uh, huh… normally I would leave your mother to the parental threats.” He shrugged.
I looked up at him, and seeing his goofy, confused expression as he thought about what to say next caused to snort. The tension inside unwound just a little, and I shook my head. “O-Okay…” I said, wiping at my eyes.
God, Truth is right, I am always weepy…
“You better get comfortable, Papa. Are you familiar with Awakened Drears?” I asked him.
His expression froze, and after a second, he looked at . “Yes,” He said in a monotone, and straightened up where he sat. “I’m quite familiar with them. Why?”
I took a deep breath and straightened up, and began to tell him everything.
My heart thumped heavily in my chest as I took a deep breath and said, “So, I ended up here. Everything till now has been an act, sorta, I guess.” I frowned. “I’m not just so kid who’s good at math. I’m… a…”
What would I be? A freak?
Don’t kid yourself.
I sighed. “I don’t know what I am,” I said, leaning forward, elbows on my knees.
My father looked at , his brow knitted as he eyed thoughtfully. After a few monts, he took a deep breath, leaned back, and let off a loud sigh. “Ho, boy.” He clapped his hands on his knees. “That explains a lot of things.
I blinked and looked at him as he leaned back and forth. “Excuse ?” I said.
“Well,” He said honestly, and with a surprising amount of candidness. “I’m still processing most of it, but…” He crossed his arms. “From experiencing how you were when you were born compared to your brother. You were the calst kid I’ve known. You rarely cried, you caught onto everything so quickly.” He closed his eyes for a second. “To say that after everything that’s happened as of late… I have to admit that this doesn’t surprise as much.” He shrugged.
My mind locked up. I opened my mouth to speak, but no words ca. “Huh,” Was all that I said stupidly.
My father gave a flat look. “Luna,” He said softly, “You are Luna, my daughter, and always will be.” He said honestly, and before I could say anything, he held a finger up to silence . “You know from Isa that your mother and I were once adventurers, right? Explorers who have been far and wide. Your mother and I have been around for a very long ti, Luna, and cases that you’re describing here. It’s not the first I’ve seen.”
I blinked slowly. “I-It isn’t?” I asked hesitantly.
He nodded. “Yes.” He took a deep breath and looked toward the door, though I noticed he wasn’t looking at it specifically, but through it as if sothing on his mind appeared before him. “My own mother being one of them,” He said quietly, then sighed. “Unlike your story, however, she did not fair so well. Not like how you are.”
I held my tongue; I certainly don’t feel like I’m faring well.
“When I was nineteen,” Father said in a low voice. “My father had her sent to an asylum.” He closed his eyes briefly. “It started off as dreams, vivid they were to her. She’d awaken at night screaming or confused, worst of days she would bolt forth from her bed, running down the manor hall.” He shuddered.
“Th-that sounds awful,” I said, and father nodded.
“Her awakening progressed further beyond the point that she couldn’t discern reality from mories. mories of a ti she never lived, or at least, the present version.” He shuddered. “Seeing her deteriorate more, and more beca too much for my father.” His hands balled into fists. “So, instead of…” He trailed off and closed his eyes, and I noticed he was shaking.
I hesitantly reached out and placed my hand on his. He took a deep breath and opened his eyes, looked at , and smiled faintly. “Instead of taking care of her, he sent her away.” He patted on the head. “Luna, I won’t do anything like my father had. No matter what, you are you, and I know you as my daughter, nothing of what you said has changed my view on that.”
My heart fluttered at his words, yet even then, sothing itched at the back of my mind. What he described bears no resemblance to what we’ve gone through. We weren’t “awakened”; we were reincarnated. Our mories of our ti before aren’t random recollections. Are they?
That’s the thought ga I simply didn’t want to play, not yet.
Instead, I cleared my mind and nodded at my father’s words. “Thank you,” I said softly, smiling genuinely. “This has been eating away at .” I chuckled softly.
Father returned my smile, his tone returning to its cheerful self. “I bet it has.” He tussled my hair. “And thank you for having the courage to share with . No matter what, Luna, we’re family. We help each other out no matter what,” He fell silent, his lips pursing. “Have you told anyone else this?” He asked.
I nodded. “I told Varis, he has t Truth. He helped with writing those ssages in the notepad.”
“Alright,” He said, “And, to clear things up a bit… this Truth. They’re like another part of you?” He asked.
I nodded again. “Yes, they’re …” I frowned. “I think. There’s, uh,” I shifted a bit, talking about myself so openly like this, while refreshing, was admittedly making anxious. “They’re other voices. So far, Truth is the strongest, then there was… Fury, I think that’s what it’s called, or wants to be called.”
“That one was you during the battle yesterday?” Father asked.
“Yes, and so far, there’s the smart one, the one that made talk to you,” I said softly.
Father’s brow quirked. “Does this one have a na?” He asked.
I shrugged. “I’ve been referring to them as rational, or smart guy. They’ved been helping a lot lately ever since I returned from the Cerebellium.”
“Which is when all these voices started appearing, right?” He clarified.
I waved a hand from side to side. “Sort of, that’s when they beca the loudest, but… They’ve always been there.” I admitted.
He nodded. “Interesting.” He took a deep breath. “I can’t imagine being in a constantly crowded room,” He half-joked and smiled at .
I smirked and giggled. “It can be quite annoying… Say, did… Grandma,” I said the word slowly, “Did she have voices in her head like ?”
Father thought on it for a second, then shook his head. “None that I can rember, at least, not anything like you described. There were a few… Nights when after a terrible vision she would act like soone else, as if an entirely different person possessed her, but that was it.”
Kinda sounds like when Truth takes over. I thought.
We both fell silent for a mont, my eyes shifted away from him, and I gazed about the room. Like when I told Varis, a weight that had rested on all this ti seed to vanish. For years, I had wondered what would happen if or when this day ca. When I finally found the courage to tell them about myself, and strangely enough, I felt disappointnt.
Huh. A silly thought that was, an absurd one, honestly. Yet there it was, a small mote in a sea of relief. For ages, I had thought they would turn on , see differently, and reject . So much so, I had felt that’s what would happen. Yet, now, here I was, sitting beside my father who seed to be looking at no differently than before; in fact, he seed happier himself.
Yet, that little bit. It lingered, but only for a brief mont. Among the ocean of relief, it was eventually overtaken and sank. Vanishing from my mind, and with it. I felt content for the first ti in what felt like an eternity. I could breathe easy, knowing now that I didn’t need to hide anything. I was different, yes. But I wasn’t a freak, and the issues I had to face, now I knew I wouldn’t be alone in facing them.
The goblins in my mind, the troubleso ones that are, are going to need to tread carefully now, knowing that my father and brother are there to help . No matter what they say or do, I could turn to my family knowing they’ll accept for who I am.
It brought tears to my eyes. Genuine, happy ones. Not pathetic, nor sad, but joyful, relieved tears. Finally, I could speak to soone again.
I reached up and pald my eyes and sniffled. As I did so, I felt my father’s large hand rest upon my back. “God, I’m such an idiot,” I mumbled to myself.
“Hey, now,” My father growled playfully. “What did I say about calling yourself that?”
“I know,” I whispered, “But it’s true… if only I’d co out about this sooner–”
“Hey,” He cut off. “It’s never good to dwell on the ‘what ifs’ or 'shoulda dones’, all we can do now is focus on the present. It’s a simple thing to learn, but it’s sothing my sergeant taught back during my days in the army. You’ll never move on, or get anything done if you keep wallowing in the past, Luna.”
“Kinda hard when the past is literally haunting ,” I said softly and yelped when he thumped my back gently.
“Focus,” He said,”I can’t say I know how you feel, but if I need to give you a little thump to remind you where you are, then I’ll do so.” He said, his moustache curling up as he smiled. “I, Varis, and even Isa if you decide to tell her will do anything to keep you grounded. You hear?”
I blushed faintly and nodded. “Yeah, thanks.” I then pursed my lips.
Isa, I took a ntal note. I should reach out to her about this. Seeing she’s the one who told about the idea of Awakened Drears. Indeed, she knows more about this and reincarnation… Dammit all, I know Father said not to dwell on it, but past really should’ve spoken to her about this ages ago.
As if having read my mind, my father grunted as he placed his hands on his knees, pushed himself off the bed, and stood. “Well then,” he said through a stretch and turned to face . “Why don’t we go check up on your brother and Isa?” He suggested it and held out his hand to .
Eyeing his hand before eting his twinkling gaze, I smiled gently and nodded. “Sure thing, Papa,” I said and took his hand and noticed his eyes shining even brighter as he gripped my hand.
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