The woman's eyes widened upon hearing , and she blinked before tilting her head to the side like a confused dog and contemplating my words. All of this happened within a couple of seconds, as she smiled widely and said, "Luna? That's a cute na, especially for a boy!"
Her words shot through my heart like an arrow, the air within my lungs escaping before I imdiately inhaled it all back in sharply. I don't know why her words stung so hard, but they did. I opened my mouth, the sense to correct her palpable, yet for what? She isn't wrong, and Luna? Why did I say my na was Luna? I thought to myself. Wasn't that the na she had given for herself?
The dark-haired woman brushed her bangs out from in front of her eyes and frowned a little. "Oh, I'm sorry. Did I offend you?" She asked genuinely.
My eyes t with hers, and I shook my head and waved a hand. "N-No. I just wasn't, uh, expecting to be called cute," I said softly, taking a deep breath.
Boy, huh? I thought. Why does hearing that make feel weird?
Luna crossed her arms beneath her chest and shifted her weight over to one foot as she said, "Well, Luna." She gestured to the moving truck her brother Varis was beginning to open. "I'll catch you around. Feel free to stop by tomorrow for the cookout! Varis is king when it cos to the grill."
"Damn right!" The man grunted as he lifted the swing door on the back of the truck.
I nodded hesitantly and said, "Su-sure." I didn't know if I would show up or not. Strangers—well, people in general. It was sothing I never fully wrapped my head around. Growing up, I was always excited and hung out with everyone and anything, yet... ever since after high school. Sothing changed.
People were just so tired now.
"Have a good rest of your day, Luna," The woman said as she gave a big smile and a little wave before hopping up into the truck with her brother.
I returned the tiny little hand wave before turning away. I felt embarrassed, as I could feel my cheeks burning when she called by that na. Though it wasn't bad, I liked it. A lot. As I made my way further down the road, I could feel the goblins in my head beginning to awaken and stir.
Why would such a pretty girl like that reach out to ? The goblins said, I'm overweight and unshaven, and the clothes I'm wearing are way too far past the needing washing point.
To which my rational half chid in. Well, they're new to the neighborhood, like she said; they just want to get to know everyone. It's not like they chose in particular. It's just being nice.
The goblins all began to speak at once, every one of them throwing a counterpoint at my rational self. All of which were paranoid and riddled with anxiety. I shook my head and took a deep breath.
"I forgot my pills," I said softly, my one saving grace within my self-produced prison. My anxiety dication. Which I just realized I didn't take when I woke up.
Probably would've made that conversation easier. I thought, to which the goblins imdiately declared that it wouldn't have.
I ca to a stop in the middle of the road and closed my eyes as I turned my gaze downward. With my hands firmly tucked into my pockets, I took another breath, one much deeper than before, and released it. When I opened my eyes, I found myself standing on the hardened concrete of a sidewalk and not the road.
I blinked with confusion and lifted my head, and around , I saw I was no longer within the trailer park. Around were two-story hos in either direction, yet the one directly in front of was one I hadn't expected.
A tall, two-story house with a brick foundation and cream paneling. In the driveway were a large, gray Ford pickup and an SUV. This was my parent's ho. The ho I grew up in.
But how? I live about twenty minutes away by car. That's like sixteen miles! I glanced around, looking for my car, wondering if I had zoned out.
I didn't zone out, though, did I? I blinked and spun around so more, but I didn't see my car or any other way to get there. The ti of day was still the sa, and before I could ponder anything else, the front door opened.
Stepping out onto the concrete porch was soone I felt like I hadn't seen in ages. A short woman, standing just under five feet with short, brown hair, was wearing a similar brown leather jacket and jeans. She was middle-aged, with visible wrinkles under her eyes and around her mouth. Her blue eyes were tired and sunken slightly, with dark rims along the edges, signifying a lack of sleep.
My mother took a deep breath as she reached into her jacket and pulled out her pack of cigarettes and lighter she began to light up when she hadn't noticed . I stood in the middle of the road, shocked. My feet felt cented as if I had cinderblocks around them.
My heart twitched, and I don't know why, but this feeling of sadness and guilt washed over . I held my breath and shook my head as I forced myself back into the present mont. I bit my lower lip, pressed down the feelings I had, and forced myself to take a few steps towards the house.
My mother took a seat on the bench beside the front door as she took a drag of her cigarette before puffing a smoke ring into the air. Our eyes t as I neared the gate, and she smiled at .
"Well, there's a handso face I haven't seen in ages," my mother said in a low but comforting voice. "How's my baby boy been?"
I froze. My eyes locked with her's I repeatedly ran what she said over and over in my head. My lower jaw quivered, my hands began to feel sweaty, and I choked out, "Hey, Momma."
My mother lowered her cigarette, tapped the ashes into her tray, and smiled warmly at . "Hello, ████." She scooched over on the bench to make room and tapped the spot beside her. "Sit by while I finish this." She wiggled the cigarette.
I moved through the yard and up beside her, taking my seat next to my mother. The entire ti, I never broke eye contact as I soaked in her features.
Taking notice of this, she smiled a little and said, "Why are you gawking at , boy? Did you forget your mother's face?"
"I thought I almost had," I admitted softly.
But it hasn't been that long? A few months ago, we had a get-together, right? What month is it? It feels like sumr, so the Fourth of July wasn't that long ago. So why can't I rember it?
My mother reached over and ran her small hand through my hair, and I flinched as she brushed my bangs aside. "You really need to shave, dear," she said bluntly. "You look much better without all this fuzz."
I blushed and said, "I-I don't mind it…"
"But ladies do." She chuckled. "You're looking much better today, ████, I see you've been going to the gym much more often."
"I go… every day, I think," I muttered as I continued to look at her occasionally out of disbelief. The tightness in my chest never let up as looked back out towards the road.
"Momma," I said in a low voice. "I don't know how I got here."
She side-eyed as she put out her cigarette and turned to face . "What do you an? You texted that you were on your way."
I bit my lower lip and looked at her. Texted? I don't recall ever texting. "I did?"
My mother nodded pulled out her phone and tapped at it a few tis before showing her chat log. Sure enough, there I was.
"On my way to get so eggs if you guys got any!"
To which both my mother and father replied that they were waiting.
"I-I don't rember typing that," I whispered. "I don't rember driving or walking here."
"But you parked right there." My mother pointed, and I followed her finger, and to my disbelief, my car was parked right outside the front of their house.
My eyes widened, and I turned to look at her, then back to my car. "This doesn't make sense," I said as I stood up. "I-I was just walking outside my trailer; h-how did I get here? My car wasn't there a second—"
My mother reached out and gently took my hand. "It's okay, ████, why don't you co inside? Let's go et your father."
Dad. Why can't I rember his face? I feel like I haven't seen him in ages.
Still holding my hand, my mother turned to the front door and opened it. Inside, I could hear the sounds of heavy barking as two huskies rushed to the front door to et and my mom.
"Get back, get back!" My mother ordered them as I watched the two beautiful dogs bounce back.
Why… This isn't right.
I followed my mom inside as the two large dogs eagerly ran up to greet as I stepped inside. Barking and whining, they pressed themselves against , nearly knocking over before backing off when the familiar, booming voice of my father shouted.
"Get off of him, Krumpy, Athena!" The two dogs flinched and backed away from .
Looking up from the dogs, my eyes t with a man who very much looked like . Or really, I looked like him. He was taller than , about half a head or so, and his hair was dirty blonde like mine, though with specks of gray. Unlike , he was clean-shaven, his face soft yet wrinkled, and in a joking voice, he said, "So the call of eggs is what's finally bringing you back around here, eh?"
I didn't say anything. My heart was ramming against my chest, and my stomach was full of butterflies. My legs wobbled, and I opened my mouth to speak, yet nothing ca out.
"Cat got your tongue?" He asked as he turned to my mother and said, "Momma, can you go outside and check on the chickens? I think I forgot to adjust the cara out there."
"H-Hi, Dad." I finally got out, and he turned to look at as my mother walked off.
"What's up?" He said it in a slightly more serious tone. "Is sothing wrong?"
I slowly shook my head. "N-No… at least… I don't think so."
"You don't think so?" He said he was looking confused.
I nodded. "This whole day, it's… I woke up, I went outside, I t soone familiar, and now I'm here?" I rubbed the side of my head. I felt like I was going to have a migraine.
My dad ca over to and placed the back of his calloused hand against my head, and my eyes widened. "You feel a little warm; did you eat anything today?"
I shook my head, and he let out an exaggerated groan and rolled his eyes. "Well, that's probably why I can't just go a whole day without eating."
"Well, I don't rember—" He held a finger up to .
"Papa's speaking." He smirked. "Why don't you stay over for dinner tonight? I was thinking of making so steaks ever since your mother got back from the farr's market."
"I-I don't know if I can do that," I said softly.
"Oh, why not?" My dad pouted. "Not like I'm asking you to stay over night, just for dinner. C'mon, your mother would love it if you stayed."
I hesitated and sighed; it wouldn't hurt. Besides, it's free food. I nodded. "Alright," I said with a faint smile. "I'll hang around."
My father smiled as he reached over to pet one of the dogs. "Aweso. Hey, you play that new Forest ga?" He asked excitedly as he pointed to his PC beside his rocking chair.
I blinked and shook my head. "No, but I think I rember seeing so trailers for it."
My father's eyes widened as he began to animatedly talk to about the ga, and I couldn't help but feel a bizarre sense of deja vu like I had heard this conversation before.
After a few monts, though, I held a hand up to quiet my dad as I said, "Excuse , I need to use the bathroom." This was partly true, but I just needed to get away from everything for a mont.
Before my dad could say anything, I backed away and went up the stairs beside the front door to the second-floor bathroom. Yet as I reached the top of the stairs, I stopped and looked down the hallway to my left. Imdiately was my parent's room, and at the far back end on the left was my old bedroom back when I lived here. Which, I believe, my parents had turned into a storage room.
Feeling a nostalgic curiosity, I made a detour from the restroom over to that room. As I placed my hand on the door and pushed it open, I was shocked to find soone inside. I froze up, and my eyes widened as I saw a tall, radiant woman with short white hair and mismatched eyes sitting on an all-white bed.
Suddenly, everything ca rushing back to . The gas station, my death, and my rebirth as Luna back to the present and now. Like a flick of a switch. I recalled it all. I stepped into the room and closed the door behind .
Standing now at eye level with Charity in my original body, I stared at the smiling blue and red-eyed woman. "So this is what you wanted to show ?" I asked her.
Charity smirked as she leaned back on the bed, resting on her forearms as she looked towards the window in the room facing the road and said, "Partially." She humd. "This world you were from is very interesting. Different from many others."
I waved my hand to the side, dismissing what she just said: "What do you an, partially? Why are we here? Why did you try blocking my mories?"
"Isn't it obvious now?" Charity said, turning to with big eyes. "I thought I was doing what you wanted."
"What I wanted?" I scoffed.
"To return to simpler tis," she said, "I created this vision, this world, for you to relive the calm tis with your family. Yet, your subconscious really had to start mucking things up."
"Excuse ?" I crossed my arms.
Though it was Charity's turn to dismiss, she waved her hand. "That is a whole can of worms to try and explain, but how have you liked it so far?" She asked with a smile. "How was it seeing your folks again?"
I tensed up and shifted my weight from foot to foot. "It was; it was different," I said softly. "I-I… thank you," I said, and Charity blinked.
"Excuse ?" She said it this ti.
"Thank you," I repeated more firmly. "Thank you for letting see them. I almost forgot what they looked and sounded like."
Charity smiled a little and said, "Well, you're welco. So you like it—"
"No," I said, cutting her off. "This realm is… it's not the ho I was originally from. There are, differences, like the dogs."
"What about the dogs?" Charity huffed. "I thought I did a good job with them."
"My parents never owned huskies," I said to her. "They had two crossbreeds that were great pyrenees and husky."
Charity rolled her eyes. "What's the difference?"
"A big one, actually," I said with a light chuckle. "Aside from that, though, I don't want to return to this life."
Charity's eyes widened, and she straightened up. "But you said it yourself; you wanted to go back to when tis were simple."
"But this isn't what I ant," I said. "This life. It wasn't what I wanted. I had everything: a house, a loving family, a job, and a car. I had everything I needed, yet I didn't do anything…"
"And I'm giving you the option to go back and achieve what you wanted," Charity said, offering her hand with a smile.
"But this isn't real," I said, and her smile broadened.
"But Father can make it real, ████.” She purred. “In heaven, all of our dreams and needs can be fulfilled. If you join us, what you see here is only a demonstration, but there, you can live out the life you truly dread of."
I stared at her with a blank face and said, "First off, Do not call by that na ever again. That… this," I gestured to myself. "Is not anymore? I want to go back to my body, my real body. I want to be Luna again."
"But what about your aspirations?" Charity pouted once again.
"This man I am right now. This overweight, pathetic nobody is dead." I took a shaky breath. "He passed away trying to save soone. Now, I have a new life—a life that isn't finished. One in which I still have ti to fulfill what I want."
Charity got up from the bed. "Then I can make you a new—"
I held my hand up to Charity. "No thank you," I said. "My life is back on Enora."
I could audibly hear Charity gritting her teeth, and her eyes narrowed on . "But the Dark Lord, as I told you, has control of your body. Do you think he's going to so easily give you up? Do you really think that man, who has tortured and killed millions, would so easily give up freedom?"
"I don't know what he did," I admitted. "I was only taught a few things before the war began. Yet, he's helped nonetheless. He's been an asshole here and there, but he helped save Isa; he's warned of coming dangers; and at one point, he comforted . He has shown no reason to not trust him."
"What about when he possessed you and lured you to that cave full of timberwolves?" Charity gowled. "You had nearly died because of what he did to you?"
"But I hadn't," I said. "Instead, I beca stronger. The boon he gave , he said, deepened my well, and the power I had shown during the conflict has impressed many others." I gulped as I held up both hands and looked at them. "I have the power to heal people, restore sight, and restore limbs. It's amazing." I said. "I might not be the best offensive fighter, but with these abilities the Dark Lord has given , I could truly make a difference in this world. I could save so many people."
Charity scoffed and shook her head. "You are foolish to believe his lies. I told you, Luna," she hissed my na, "He will lie, he will cheat, he will do everything in his power to make you trust him. You do not know him like I and Father do."
"And I don't know you, Charity," I said. "What have you done to help thus far? You've shown my long-lost family, but that was it. My mother, and I an my original mother. She told this long ago. Actions speak louder than words."
Charity waved her hand to the side. "I will not be lectured by you," she said. "I am speaking Father's truths. He knows all, and he knows that man will betray you, Luna."
"Maybe," I said, "and co then. I'll be a fool. But for now, I'll take his actions over yours."
Charity rolled her eyes and turned away from . "We shall speak then." She huffed.
"Before you end this dreamscape," I said to her, and she glanced over her shoulder.
"Would you allow to have that final al with my mother and father?" I asked her. "Even if they aren't real, it'll make feel better." I took a shaky breath.
Charity blinked for a second, took a deep breath, and said, "Fine."
I smiled faintly and said, "Thank you."
I left the room and returned downstairs.
My mother, father, and I sat around the kitchen table after Dad had brought in a large platter of freshly cooked steaks. My mother had prepared green beans and mashed potatoes, all of which tasted as good as I rembered them. It was so surreal. It was like I was there, sitting beside them. Hearing them laugh and talk about whatever, even the bullshit politics my mother always complained about, the dogs, which now looked exactly like how I rembered them gathered around the table, even my parent's kitties. Like actual cats, I never saw them back when I was Luna. I don't even know if they exist on Enora.
It was lovely. Yet as I sat there with a knife in hand, I felt my chest swell up, and my hands began to tremble. I placed the knife down as my free hand reached up to wipe at my eyes, where tears had begun to form.
"What's wrong, sweetie?" My mother asked , to which my father held a hand out to her.
"What's up, ████?" He asked .
I sniffed and wept softly as I said, "I-I'm sorry… I'm so… so sorry…"
"Sorry for what?" They both asked.
I began to shake harder as I sniffed and wept in front of my original parents. "I'm sorry… I'm sorry for not seeing you two more… I'm sorry for not being a better son. I'm sorry for being such a waste of space and a leach."
I felt my father's hand reach out to grab my shoulder. "Hey, hey, that's not true," he said. "You were none of those things."
"But I never did anything," I sniffed. "I just sat around… I wasted my money on pointless things. I never even tried to go to college or do whatever."
"And we never expected you to do such things," my mother said softly. "All your father and I ever wanted out of you, ████, was to see you happy. We want you to live a long and happy life, and nothing else. We don't care what you do or how you get there."
"As long as it's legal," my father chid in humorously.
My mother nodded. "We took care of you and cared for you all your life. In return, we only hope that you and your brothers do the sa for us when we're old."
My heart twitched, and my breathing beca ragged. I clenched my teeth and nodded. "Ye-yeah," I squeaked out and wiped my eyes.
"You look like you have sothing to say," my father said.
"I-I do," I stuttered. "I wanted to say that… I'll be going away."
"Away?" They both said.
"Yeah… far away, you won't hear from for a long ti… but I wanted to let you know… that I will… I will always have you in my thoughts. I won't forget you, any of you. Ever. I know we never always saw eye to eye, but… I love you. Both of you. And I always will…" I was sobbing once again by the end of it. "I'm so sorry this is sudden…"
They looked at each other confusedly and then back at as I wiped my eyes.
Dinner ended in silence.
My parents walked to the front door, and before heading out, I hugged each of them. "Don't be a stranger, sweetie," My mother said, "Wherever you're going, try to reach out. Rember, letters are still a thing. You can always send us sothing if you don't have reception."
I let off a shaky breath and nodded. "I-I'll try, Momma."
My father patted on the shoulder and said, "You and I should play so gas. Your brothers play with online; why not hop in so ti?"
"I-I… I'll see; this trip is taking up a lot of ti." I said softly before yelping when he yanked into a tight hug.
After a few monts, we broke the embrace, and my mother gasped, "Roots the eggs!" And hurried back to the kitchen.
After a few monts, she ca rushing back with the two large cartons and handed them to . "All of these were made within the last few days. Make sure you wash them before using them." She bead.
I sniffed took the cartons and said, "Thank you. Both of you, I love you."
"I love you too, Kiddo." Dad said. "Now, go on. Before it gets too late."
I nodded and smiled at my mother, who gave a little wave as I opened the door and stepped back out and through a blinding light into the other side.
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