Now, suddenly seeing Gu Xingchuan still alive, apart from the surprise of resurrection, she really didn’t know how to face Xiao Jinxing’s "rcy".
Gu Xingchuan spoke, his voice gentle and soft, "He said he suddenly understood and wanted to give you freedom."
An Ning felt a pain in her heart.
Was it really to give her freedom?!
"He said, to give you freedom, I could betray the whole world. But he, out of selfish desire, forcibly kept you by his side. So, he spared my life for you but didn’t tell you, simply because he didn’t want you to stay by his side out of guilt." Gu Xingchuan murmured.
He looked at An Ning’s appearance, watching her suppress all her emotions, trying hard not to show them.
He continued, "The Emperor told not to tell you, not to let you know I was still alive."
An Ning’s eyes flickered slightly.
"If you can recognize , naturally he can recognize at a glance." Gu Xingchuan said, "Initially, the Emperor did order not to set foot in Xun City again, to live incognito, to find a place to live well. So I casually found a place, ca to Changn, and then joined the Buddhist order. Therefore, becoming a monk had nothing to do with the Emperor; I just truly wanted to find a peaceful place after a brush with death to spend the rest of my life. But unexpectedly, within just half a year, natural and man-made disasters brought us together again."
An Ning listened quietly.
Just like that, listening to Gu Xingchuan’s calm narration.
"And no matter how much I avoided you, you still discovered ." Gu Xingchuan said with a bit of helplessness.
"So, Xiao Jinxing recognized long ago." An Ning murmured.
In fact, she had already noticed it, perhaps just unwilling to admit it to herself, but hearing Gu Xingchuan say it now, there was still so indescribable feeling in her heart.
"Originally, I didn’t recognize you." Gu Xingchuan said, "When you ca to Linghe Temple, I never really t you face-to-face. I just heard that there was another Jianghu Doctor with decent dical skills, but he was male, so I didn’t suspect much. Later, when the Emperor ca, he recognized at a glance and then told that the so-called Jianghu Doctor was actually you disguised. Now looking at you, I wouldn’t be sure if I could recognize you at a glance if the Emperor hadn’t inford it was you."
An Ning listened and then silently tore off the Human Skin Mask from her face in front of Gu Xingchuan.
An Ning’s familiar face was thus revealed before Gu Xingchuan.
Gu Xingchuan’s eyes moved slightly, his eyes seemingly a bit reddened.
He had thought he would never see this face again.
"In fact, I still admire the Emperor greatly." Gu Xingchuan said, also silently suppressing the moisture in his eyes, and said with a light smile, "In Xuzhou, he could also recognize you at a glance, even if you beca completely different. Now in Changn, not just your face, you even disguised your gender, yet he still could tell at a glance that it was you."
"He’s too cunning." An Ning stated frankly.
"Who wouldn’t say so; it’s because he loves too much." Gu Xingchuan laughed.
An Ning’s heart trembled.
A mont of impulse, so intense it couldn’t be ignored.
"I’m not trying to persuade you to be with the Emperor. I know you don’t like intrigue and deception, you don’t want to pin yourself down in one place, you yearn for freedom. I’m just telling you everything I know. Actually, I don’t agree with the Emperor concealing it from you this way, I don’t think you’re soone who would force yourself out of guilt, and there are many ways to repay kindness, which doesn’t necessarily an promising yourself to soone." Gu Xingchuan stated clearly, "Now you know everything, the decision is in your hands. The Emperor doesn’t need the favor of your charity, and you don’t need to choose a life you don’t like just to thank the Emperor. You only need to follow your heart."
Just follow her heart...
An Ning unconsciously clenched her fist.
Gu Xingchuan looked at her with a faint smile, watching her, hesitating and wandering, yet seemingly a little sad.
He really didn’t know how An Ning would choose.
He really didn’t know whether An Ning loved the Emperor more or had her life principles and preferred to live her own life.
But no matter what.
He would choose to bless her.
As long as she is happy, it’s enough.
Gu Xingchuan turned around and left.
Between him and An Ning, all the ties were only left with the fact that he was still alive.
Now An Ning knew everything.
His worldly concerns were truly, completely over.
"Gu Xingchuan." An Ning looked at his departing back and called him loudly.
Gu Xingchuan paused in his steps.
"Will you always stay here?" An Ning asked him.
"Yes." Gu Xingchuan nodded.
"Really going to be a monk forever?" An Ning asked again.
Such a talented, gentle, and elegant man, really going to forsake everything and enter the gates of Buddhism?!
She didn’t want him to grow old alone.
She hoped he could find a good partner.
She still greedily hoped he would live a better life.
And not just simply live.
To live as a walking dead.
Gu Xingchuan turned back, smiling lightly, "An Ning, do you know? This past half year has been the most comfortable I’ve ever felt. Despite the frugality in food, clothing, and use, despite lots of labor, for the first ti my heart has felt freedom. This is probably why I understand your longing for freedom. In my childhood, as I was plagued by illness, the embarrassnt and horror during my attacks were really despised by many around . My heart was not as serene as I showed. I actually always cared why I had such a strange fate, why, among so many of my siblings, only I had this illness."
"Later, after you cured , I developed feelings for you, but you didn’t love . Loving without return is not a pleasant thing. My feelings for you have been buried in my heart all these years; I know clearly no matter what I did for you, even if it ant defying the world, we could not be together. I know you don’t love , and I couldn’t force you to love , so my feelings for you have beco an obsession, one I can never let go of, continuously tornting my sanity. Plus, I started a rebellion."
"If loving without return was a tornt to my emotions, then the failure of rebellion, or rather the act of rebellion itself, was a tornt to my humanity. I am not noble or great, but I have my principles, and my impetuous rebellion had long violated my bottom line. I couldn’t just live as if nothing had happened, like an ordinary person. But when I truly joined the Buddhist order, gave up all worldly feelings, I really let go of the self I once hated, and then lived freely and leisurely!"
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