"A person with true intentions to leave can’t be stopped." An Ning comforted Xie Ruotong with confidence, "Don’t worry, I have my plans."
"What I an is, are you really not planning to give the Emperor another chance?" Xie Ruotong asked tentatively.
"What chance?" An Ning wondered, "You mustn’t have misunderstood Xiao Jinxing’s feelings towards !"
"If not, what then?" Xie Ruotong countered.
If not, the harem is empty, and he’s alone, for what reason?!
"It’s not about feelings; Xiao Jinxing only feels guilty towards . It’s because of guilt that he wants to keep by his side to make up for his inner deficit." An Ning stated with certainty.
"I don’t think it’s just that..."
"Actually, five years ago, I could sense Xiao Jinxing had developed a hint of feelings for , he also felt unsettled by my devotion. But think about it, as soon as Bai Mowan had any issue, he would unhesitatingly rush to her side. I’m not jealous, I’m just telling you, his feelings for co rely from a troubled conscience. Once he feels he owes nothing, I would hold no aning in his life." An Ning straightforwardly interrupted Xie Ruotong, making everything clear.
She would never drag things out when it ca to Xiao Jinxing.
"Perhaps that was five years ago, things might be different now." Xie Ruotong speculated.
"Indeed, it’s different now, because after five years I bore him two children." An Ning spoke, still a bit incensed, "Now he feels he owes even more."
"Does it have to be guilt?" Xie Ruotong asked.
"Otherwise, why would he choose to leap off the tower instead of Bai Mowan back then?" An Ning hit the nail on the head.
Xie Ruotong was speechless.
Though she wasn’t present back then, she had heard about it; supposedly, when the King of Chu asked the Emperor to choose who lives, he sacrificed the Empress.
That incident left her holding a grudge against the Emperor for a long ti.
She even nearly impulsively killed the Emperor a few tis when drunk.
But seeing the Emperor didn’t fare well, she gradually forgot to hold on to hate.
"Don’t brood over it, I know better than anyone who Xiao Jinxing truly loves." An Ning spoke firmly.
In the book, Xiao Jinxing’s feelings for Bai Mowan were truly unwavering.
On the contrary, the book’s depiction of Bai Mowan seed more about repaying kindness and stabilizing power.
After all, having once died, the heroine knew well that love wasn’t everything.
She needed to solidify her power more to protect her family and herself throughout her life.
In summary.
The conclusion is, Xiao Jinxing only loves Bai Mowan.
If he had different feelings for anyone else, it absolutely wasn’t love.
But An Ning feared Xiao Jinxing himself might get it confused, and then do things that hurt others and himself.
"What if the person the Emperor loves truly is you? Would you consider staying?"
"First of all, it’s not a possibility." An Ning was very serious.
Xie Ruotong never usually doubted her.
Maybe five years apart caused unfamiliarity?
Always refuting.
Of course, An Ning wasn’t angry either.
She patiently explained, "Even if, hypothetically, it were possible, but I don’t like him, why should I stay? The harem is splendid, with wealth and power, but ultimately it belongs to the Emperor, not . My place is in the rivers and lakes."
An Ning finished and playfully smiled.
Xie Ruotong was puzzled.
"Unfortunately, upon returning to Xun City, I heard you and Song Yanqing are getting married. Otherwise, I could’ve taken you to experience what truly brings happiness to a woman."
"Happiness for a woman?" Xie Ruotong was even more puzzled.
"There’s no point making you itch for sothing that isn’t going to happen." An Ning didn’t go into further explanation, and said, "In any case, this ti I’m back, but won’t stay long in the Imperial Palace. Prepare yourself, I might suddenly disappear one day."
Xie Ruotong felt sowhat lost.
Thinking that the Empress must leave still made her heart full of reluctance.
"Rest assured, this ti when I leave I will actively contact you all, I won’t be vanishing without a trace anymore." An Ning noticed Xie Ruotong’s emotions and added.
"Okay." Xie Ruotong nodded.
She always unconditionally supported the Empress’s decisions.
"By the way." An Ning suddenly thought of sothing and seriously told Xie Ruotong, "Don’t tell Gu Xingchuan, it’s ."
"Why?" Xie Ruotong was surprised.
If the Emperor didn’t ntion it, so be it.
Why wouldn’t the Empress say it?!
"Actually, I don’t want too many people knowing my identity. Xiao Jinxing hasn’t disclosed it publicly. I don’t know his reasoning; possibly out of consideration for Bai Mowan. But anyway, I am sowhat glad he kept it, this way I can leave more freely." An Ning explained.
"But you didn’t keep it from , why keep it from Gu Xingchuan? Gu Xingchuan’s been devoted to you for five years..."
"I know." An Ning intercepted, "Because I know, I don’t want him to know my identity, as I don’t wish to give him any hope. The reason I don’t hide it from you is simply because, why should only Xiao Jinxing know my identity. No, there’s also Xiao Jinxing’s loyal servant Song Yanqing who knows. They know, why should my closest not know? That feels unfair!"
"... Is she intentionally defying the Emperor?!"
Xie Ruotong felt the Empress wasn’t entirely indifferent towards the Emperor.
It’s just the matter of trust.
"In reality, whether you give Gu Xingchuan hope or not, his feelings for you remain unchanged. Your existence doesn’t matter." Xie Ruotong still spoke for Gu Xingchuan.
An Ning bit her lip.
Clearly feeling the burden in her heart.
Gu Xingchuan’s kindness to her, unconditional kindness, couldn’t but move her.
But she truly couldn’t offer Gu Xingchuan happiness.
All she could do was, escape.
"If you don’t want to tell Gu Xingchuan, I won’t tell him." Xie Ruotong saw An Ning’s distress and quickly agreed.
Though her heart aches for Gu Xingchuan.
She couldn’t bear to see An Ning so troubled either.
"Okay." An Ning suppressed her emotions and responded.
"Speaking of which, why does Youyou look exactly like your current appearance?" Xie Ruotong changed the subject, "Shouldn’t she resemble your original appearance or the Emperor instead?!"
"Well... I truly don’t know how to explain it, but I can responsibly tell you, An Youyou’s twin brother An Luming looks exactly like Xiao Jinxing." An Ning, starting to feel a headache, replied, "I am truly overwheld."
"Aren’t you supposed to be overwheld with An Youyou not resembling you or the Emperor?" Xie Ruotong was speechless.
The Empress’s thought process was entirely different from normal people.
"Perhaps An Luming was switched, but An Youyou is definitely my birth child." An Ning asserted.
"... Alright."
She actually didn’t doubt it.
Just curious about An Luming who looks exactly like the Emperor, if he ca to the Imperial Palace...
Perhaps the entire Daxuan Kingdom would be in an uproar!
Envisioning that scene...
Xie Ruotong had to admit, she privately wished the Empress could stay.
But none of them could keep her.
Only, the Emperor could.
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