How to Control Anger (3)
After getting a refund for the expenses we paid at the steakhouse, we went to another place to eat out.
However, not only had we run into Michael, but because of the commotion he caused, I couldn't get my appetite back the entire al.
Thinking about how his horns had sprouted, it was surely a side effect of his trait.
On top of everything, that guy who was already in trouble would eventually destroy himself without managing to get a hold of anything.
There was no need for to bother with him at all.
"That Michael guy is really pathetic, isn't he?"
Lying in the dorm reading a book, I told Choi Sangbaek about what had happened.
Just hearing him call Michael "that guy" instead of "senior" made it clear that Sangbaek didn't look on Michael favorably either.
"His family is well off, and he even has a rich girlfriend—how can he live his life like that?"
"Girlfriend?"
"Yeah, guess you didn't know. He has a girlfriend at Middle School 3. Her family is crazy rich, too."
When rich people et and mingle, I guess birds of a feather flock together.
I hoped she was different from her boyfriend in terms of personality, but I had a feeling the chances were slim.
"I think her na was Emily? Her family is in the hunter equipnt business, so they've got connections all over hunter guilds. I heard even the Sura Guild from China, Korea's Hwasan Guild, and Poison Guild all use equipnt developed by her family."
It was only natural that maintaining those business relationships would turn into personal connections.
Since they provide such good equipnt, they'd probably grant just about any reasonable request.
"And apparently, Emily is said to be just as crazy as Michael. If she just says a word, famous guild hunters will rush to her side, so nobody dares approach her. If you get on her bad side, it feels like you might end up locked in a solitary cell or even tortured or sothing."
"Did she actually do that?"
"Who knows...? There's no solid evidence."
Although it was pure speculation without evidence, sohow it felt plausible.
Anyone with a crazy boyfriend like that was bound to be just as nuts.
Just like the residents of that damned wzealand.
"But you seem to have so impressive intel sources."
"There are fan clubs I started back in middle school at other Hands, too!"
"Wait, even at other schools, there are people who like Wash... I an, unity /Girls?"
I corrected myself out of courtesy.
No matter how carelessly one can speak, there are things you shouldn't blurt out.
"Of course! Their prestige will never die. Even if they grow old and die, a second Unity Girls will appear!"
Even if not as bad as Michael, this guy was plenty crazy in his own way.
Though, maybe if he learned to properly control his trait, this tendency of his would get better.
But in Michael's case, even as a third-year, he hadn't improved—in fact, he'd gotten worse.
I almost wanted to say he was beyond saving.
"By the way, it's Sunday today. Aren't you going anywhere?"
"I have lots of places to go. I need to go to church, the cathedral, and the temple."
"Church, cathedral, temple...? You're religious?"
"Sothing like that."
"Then why go to so many different places? You'll be damned by the heavens at this rate."
"Damned by the heavens? No way."
I really wouldn't have an excuse if soone called a heretic.
But ever since elentary school, I'd visited religious facilities every weekend without missing a beat.
"I just want to live this life smoothly, with nothing to trouble ."
"Just like you've turned your back on the Unity Girls, Sangbaek, I've turned my back on three holy ones. Where would you find a more devout follower than ?"
"..."
Sangbaek zoned out, as if unable to make sense of it.
Prayer beads, rosary, crucifix.
He was even more dumbfounded to see them all decorating my locker.
Seen from the perspective of religious people, I already made contracts everywhere, yet here I was making two or three more contracts elsewhere—like a total opportunist.
But I didn't care. As long as I was comfortable, that was all that mattered.
Right, god? Jesus? Holy Virgin? Buddha?
"So you'll go to the cathedral in the morning, church at lunch, and temple in the evening?"
"Even if I get heavenly punishnt, I wouldn't know."
"It'll be fine, don't worry."
I'd been living like this for six years.
If I was going to be punished, it would have happened a long ti ago.
"Now that you ntion it, Sung Chohyang also goes to the temple."
"That senior, too?"
"Yeah, every Sunday lunch, she always goes to the temple on the outskirts of Hand. I think her family must be devout believers."
Even the senior who mixed together all sorts of weird things sotis showed surprising sides.
I wanted to share a Buddhist ceremony with her, but unfortunately our schedules didn't line up today.
"In the na of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit..."
I crossed myself and changed my clothes.
"Amitabha."
Seeing that, Sangbaek was once again left speechless.
****
On the southern outskirts of Hand, there was a tall mountain with a temple of decent size halfway up.
Being Sunday, the last day of the week, it should have been the ti when Buddhists flocked together.
Normally, the ceremony would have been scheduled for lunchti, but today, there seed to be fewer people than usual.
"That's odd. Usually, there'd be way more people here."
Because Sung Chohyang was Buddhist, she ca often to this temple.
So she could imdiately tell sothing was different from usual.
"There's a lot now, but you're saying that's only about half?"
"Yeah, this is only half. There probably wasn't a headcount limit or anything."
When Kwon Sang-ah voiced her curiosity, Choi Sumin, who ca along, answered.
As a fellow Buddhist, she knew all the ins and outs too.
"But actually, it's better this way. The fewer people there are, the easier it is to concentrate."
Looking at the many people seated inside the temple, Sung Chohyang spoke.
They also took their seats and gazed at the enormous Buddha statue.
Kwon Sang-ah, upon seeing the overwhelming form of the Buddha, caught her breath.
Having always lived like a bird in a cage, buddhism—or even the concept of religion itself—felt entirely unfamiliar to her.
"This doesn't get complicated or tedious, does it?"
"There's nothing hard at all. Just watch what we do and follow along."
What Kwon Sang-ah had to do now was simple.
If Sung Chohyang and Choi Sumin recited sothing, she just needed to recite it too, or if she really couldn't, then just move her lips to match.
She was worried she'd get kicked out for that, but the atmosphere in the temple seed too peaceful for anything aggressive like that.
Just as she felt when walking in, religious facilities were truly mysterious places.
It felt as though the peace she'd always wanted inside her heart was finally taking physical shape before her eyes.
'Is this what it really ans to be at peace...?'
mories from the mansion surfaced automatically.
Because she was the child of a concubine, no one spared her a glance.
Her stepmother, whenever she saw Sang-ah, always looked down on her with superiority, telling her not to get above herself; her brother didn't see her as a person.
Her so-called father just looked on indifferently, showing no emotion.
Reading books was her only sanctuary, but others would point fingers and say, "No matter how much of those you read, your future is dood."
And when she learned the truth about her mother and father's relationship, she felt anger for the first ti.
That's when she realized she was being treated unfairly.
'I want to kill them...'
She wanted to kill everyone in that mansion who tornted her, and those who put her mother in a hospital bed as well.
Right now, her instincts scread at her to act on it.
She heard a voice whispering that she should stain her hands with their blood and feel the thrill.
Kwon Sang-ah had lived her whole life with that anger.
Her eyes were always filled with venom because she constantly felt on the verge of exploding like a volcano.
But at so point, that venom began to subside little by little.
That was when she awakened the trait called "Berserker."
'I really don't want to stain my hands with blood.'
The magic power instructors who'd been kind to her at elentary school ended up seriously hurt—because of the anger she exploded with herself.
She was afraid of having accrued karma for the first ti, but even so, her anger did not disappear.
Whenever she thought about her family, the rage only kept piling on.
The fear that she'd turn into a monster again still tornted her to this day.
"How do you feel, being here?"
"..."
Kwon Sang-ah considered how to answer Sung Chohyang's question.
Her fear and anger were still there, but she was experiencing a feeling—a sense that those emotions had receded a little—that she didn't know how to describe.
"I know about your trait too. They say it landed your elentary school teachers in hospital, right?"
"... Yeah."
"You borrow the training hall late at night because you want to control it."
"..."
But what was the fundantal reason she couldn't control it?
No matter how many tis she thought about it, she didn't know, so she just kept training blindly.
But Sung Chohyang seed to think differently.
She believed that this wasn't a problem to be solved by training alone.
"Have you ever felt this peaceful before?"
"... No."
"Because you didn't have peace of mind, you could only think to control it with sheer training, even though there are other ways."
"Other ways...?"
"Handle that anger peacefully. Just like right now."
Then she understood why Sung Chohyang had brought her to a place like this.
Realizing that, Kwon Sang-ah opened her eyes wide.
She had always rushed forward like a wild beast, driven by fear and anger.
But there was a fundantal way to solve the problem: peace.
"I think your trait is affected by your mind. The tornt in your heart could easily feed your rampage."
"..."
"So sotis, co to a place like this and find peace of mind. If peace cos before anger, there's less chance of losing control."
Kwon Sang-ah was so struck by this new realization she just blinked, dazed.
She had never known true peace, so it touched her deeply.
"Are you maybe trying to convert , after all?"
"Huhu, I wonder?"
Choi Sumin asked jokingly, and Sung Chohyang responded with a laugh.
Then the ceremony began, and the atmosphere sank into silence.
*tok tok tok tok tok tok—*
A monk closest to the Buddha altar began to strike the wooden percussion instrunt and chant sothing.
Kwon Sang-ah didn't understand the words, but it felt like soone was cheering her on from beside her.
Today, for the first ti, Kwon Sang-ah realized what kind of comfort religion could bring to people.
And before she knew it, ti flew by.
"Now, we will recite the Heart Sutra, which leads to the realization of wisdom."
After several procedures, a familiar chant echoed.
Even Kwon Sang-ah, who knew little about religion, had heard of the Heart Sutra.
"Maha Prajna Paramita Hridaya Sutra..."
It wasn't the first ti she'd heard a priest recite a sutra to the beat of the wooden instrunt.
So it was easy for her to get absorbed, and following the lead of the assembly closing their eyes, Kwon Sang-ah did the sa.
"Muan-ibiseolsin-ui musuikseonghyangmichokbeop muwangye naejimuuisikgye..."
No eyes, no ears, no nose, no tongue, no body, no mind... no color, no sound, no scent, no taste, no touch, no dharma, and no boundaries of eyes or mind exist.
It really felt like everything was fading away.
Senses, thoughts, actions, even consciousness began to shut off.
As she closed her eyes, for a brief instant, soone covered her nose and mouth—and Kwon Sang-ah's consciousness faded away.
****
When Kwon Sang-ah opened her eyes again, she was stunned.
The temple where the ceremony had been taking place was gone, and she was lying in so unknown mountain area.
But the people who'd taken part in the ceremony were still there. For so reason, they were all wearing hunter equipnt.
"What is going on?"
She tried to move, but her hands and feet were tied, leaving her unable to budge.
She turned her head, looking for Sung Chohyang and Choi Sumin, but they were nowhere to be seen.
"What, you woke up later than I expected, huh?"
"...!"
"Maybe it's because you're a dragon-type Mutamit, so I had to use so especially strong tranquilizer?"
A boy stepped out from among them.
With a greatsword as sharp as shark teeth slung over his shoulder, his face was full of madness—as if he'd already killed soone.
"You know who I am, don't you?"
Realizing that it was Michael Kang, Kwon Sang-ah's eyes trembled violently.
-------------= Clacky's Corner -------------=
Damn it, the build up to the beat down is taking too long...
Hopefully it's satisfying.
【ദ്ദി(⩌ᴗ⩌)】
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