The Simulacrum ~Chapter 6~ Part 1

I yawned, more out of a sense of habit rather than actual fatigue as I walked down the morning streets. In fact, I didn't feel drowsy at all even though I spent last night transcribing my notes, browsing the web for data, and watching funny cat videos, in that order. I supposed I might as well tick the 'confird' box next to my ‘doesn't need any sleep' article, but I decided I should go for broke and wait another day.

With such thoughts on my mind, I rounded another corner and noticed a familiar back in the distance. I increased my pace and in a minute or so I managed to catch up to the guy and I greeted him via a friendly pat on the back.

"Morning!"

"Ugh." Josh looked up at with weary eyes. "Why do you have to be so unnecessarily energetic so early in the morning?"

"I don't know, but I am working on it."

Josh didn't respond and just let out a lancholic sigh before he continued putting one leg after the other.

"Did sothing happen?"

As if he was only fishing for the question from the very beginning, the guy imdiately perked up the mont I asked.

"You won't believe what happened to yesterday!"

"Won't I? Careful, that sounded like a challenge."

"Okay, here it goes... So yesterday I was hanging out with the girls."

"You an Angie and the class rep?"

"Of course I an them."

"Just checking."

"Anyways, we had a nice afternoon, kind of like old tis."

"Oh, so you used to hang out before?"

"Yeah, in middle school. We were in the sa class even back then and we were in the student council together. Can I continue?"

"Sure, sorry for interrupting."

"Anyways, we were having fun. Going to the joint to get so fast food, hanging out in the park, window-shopping, stuff like that. Then Angie decided to take Ammy to a place I couldn't go."

"Shopping for lingerie?"

"No!" My friend protested and gave a disappointed squint. "Is that really the first thing that cos to your mind?"

"Well, yeah? That, and the toilet."

"Ew."

"What?" I protested in turn. "Girls go to the toilet together all the ti!"

"Doesn't matter, they weren't going there." He paused, presumably for dramatic effect. "They went to the bookstore."

I gave him a shrug and said, "So what? Are you allergic to books or sothing?"

"You don't get it. Angie was taking her to the young adult aisle."

"Once again: so what?"

Josh sighed and began rubbing the base of his neck.

"Listen, have you ever read any of the books there?"

"... Did you just seriously ask that from the guy with the amnesia?"

"Fine, then let explain! Nowadays these books are all about a bunch of monsters falling for vapid teenage girls. Vampires, werewolves, aliens, chupacabras..."

"That sounds like a gross oversimplification, but whatever. So? How does that affect you?"

"I'm getting to it! You see, Angie had a... phase. Arguably she's still in it, but nowhere as near as deeply as a few years ago."

"She was reading these books?"

"Worse. She was obsessed with them. She was reading them, talking about them, watching the adaptations multiple tis. and at one point she even forced to read her favorite series under threats of physical violence."

"I gather you didn't like it."

"It was horrible! The plot made no sense, the protagonist was a bland idiot and it had a handso teenaged werewolf for the male lead... who didn't turn into a wolf at full moon! The books didn't even ntion the phase of the moon! I an, who writes a book where werewolves don't respond to the moon?! There were also so vampires in there, but those only seed like vampires, and in reality they were just Russian immigrants with a magic disease, so I could cut those so slack, but the werewolves?! I hated the entire thing from beginning to end."

"... Did you actually tell all that to her?"

"I did, and then so more," he answered with his chest puffed up.

"And how did she take it?"

The second I uttered that question, his chest deflated at record speed.

"She refused to talk to for a week."

"Ouch... But how does that relate to your story?"

"I told you I'm getting to it! So, Angie wanted to go to the bookstore to look at new releases and I refused to go on principle." At this point he hesitated for a mont, but then he ultimately continued with, "We... might have also had a little fight over it."

"Ooooooh... I was just about to ask where she is," I grinned at my friend and he scoffed in return. "Giving you the cold shoulder again? Are you feeling lonely?"

"Oh, shut up." He rolled his eyes and sullenly tucked his hands into his pockets. "And it's not the reason why she is not here."

"Really? Then why?"

He looked at , took a deep breath, and finally got to the aty part of the explanation.

"You see, after that happened, Angie and Ammy went into the bookstore and left outside. Of course, they left their bags with so I had no choice but to wait for them... and then this girl showed up."

Now that grabbed my interest. Another suitor appeared? So soon?

"What kind of girl?"

"Average height, a little curvy, long white hair."

"White?"

"Yeah, pure as snow. It was the thing that first caught my eye too."

I nodded to myself in satisfaction. This new girl most certainly fit into my ‘unusual hair equals importance' theory.

"So, what happened? Did you hit on her?" Josh gave a deadpan look in response, so I guessed, "You didn't."

"Of course I didn't! What kind of guy do you think I am?!"

"Okay, then what?"

He shook his head in frustration for a mont before he returned to the story.

"Here cos the really weird part: The girl just walked up to , during the middle of the day, on a crowded pedestrian road, and she just kissed !"

"She kissed you?" I repeated after him to make sure I've heard that right, and he imdiately nodded.

"Yes! Right on the mouth too!"

"And she didn't say anything?"

"She told I was cute and then she ran away and disappeared into the crowd before I could say anything!"

"Huh. You are right. That must have been pretty weird."

"I know, right!?"

"Sooooo, how does that relate to Angie not coming to school with you?"

"Well, she just ca out of the bookstore to get her purse when this happened. She left it in her bag I think, and she saw what happened. Then once the girl was gone she started arguing with about kissing random people on the street! Like it was my fault!"

"I hear you."

"Man, girls are weird!"

"No, I think it's just that you don't really get them," I told him furtively and he raised an eyebrow in return.

"What do you an?"

"She was jealous, you idiot. That's why she flipped out."

My friend suddenly flushed red (people around these parts do that a lot) and vigorously shook his head.

"No no no! You are misunderstanding sothing, we are not like that."

"Not like what?"

"I an... it's not like we are in a relationship or anything..." His words beca less sure as he went on.

"And so she cannot be jealous? You see, this is what I an when I say that you don't get girls."

"Oh really?" It seed like I put too much pressure on the guy and so he beca petulant. "Then can Mr. Casanova, the one true explorer of the female heart, give any advice?"

"Sure!" I answered enthusiastically just to take him off-guard. "Apologize."

"Again?"

"Sure, it worked the first ti, didn't it?"

"... I suppose, but then what?"

"Telling her you are sorry is just the foot in the door. Once she calms down, you use the opportunity to explain what happened. If she still wouldn't lt, just exaggerate how much it shocked you. Cook up a small speech about how violated you felt that so random girl on the street stole your first kiss that you were saving for ‘that special soone' and it should let you sail through the roughest part. Oh, also make sure you make up about the whole refused-to-enter-the-bookstore-thing if you are at that. You can be a little more mundane there, just tell her your tastes might not align but you are not judging her. Ah, and before I forget it: Did the class rep see the kiss too?"

"I don't know... why?"

"It doesn't matter. Make sure she is either there when you explain things to Angie, or pull her aside and tell everything to her as well."

"But why? She had nothing to do with it."

"Just trust , okay? It will help you a lot in the long run if you try and avoid misunderstandings."

"But why the class r... I an, why Ammy?"

"Just do as I said and don't ask questions, okay?" I snapped and he imdiately gave a nod. "Good."

After that, we walked in silence until we could see the school gates, at which point Joshua tentatively spoke up again.

"Say, Leo?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you... actually experienced with girls?"

"Dude, for the umpteenth ti: Am-ne-sia!"

"Yeah, I know, but... you sounded so sure of yourself when you talked about dealing with them."

"Okay Josh, here's a pro tip then: Don't think of them as ‘girls'."

"... I shouldn't?"

"No. Think of them as just people like you. Try to put yourself into their shoes and figure out what they are thinking about. For example, what would you think if you saw that so guy kissed Angie on the mouth in the middle of a street without her resisting?"

"I would be... I..." Obviously conflicted and lost for words, Josh just hung his head in defeat. "I don't really know."

"You better think about it then," I grinned and patted the guy on the back.

"Yeah..." For a few seconds he stayed silent, and then he directed a suspicious glance at and asked, "Are you really sure you are not experienced with girls?"

"I told you, I've no idea. If I had to guess though, I'd say I don't."

"Really? Why would you think that?"

"Idunno. I guess I am just not the kind of guy girls would be interested in."

Josh stopped for a mont to give a flat look.

"Okay, you are just ssing with right now."

"Well, I‘m not."

"But... you are the handso athletic guy of our duo!"

I grinned at him.

"What does that make you then?"

He grinned back in kind and said, "I am the clever, charming one, obviously."

We looked each other in the eye for a second and then burst out laughing at the sa ti.