"Judy's dad is a policeman?"
In response to my sister's question, Judy exhaled a long sigh and told her, "It's complicated."
For so reason Snowy glanced at at this point and let out a giggle, but before I could ask why, she returned to fluffing the cushions on the couch. I didn't know why; our guests were only going to stay for a few minutes before we moved on. Maybe she just wanted to be a good host as an extension of her maid hobby? It would also explain her habit of offering drinks and snacks to anyone who set their feet inside our house. More importantly, my assistant looked downright downcast, so I sidled over and pulled her into a hug.
"Cheer up, Dormouse. Who knows? Maybe my Schrödinger's Dad hypothesis was right all along."
"I told you Chief, my father's not a quantum particle," she grumbled, but still leaned into the hug.
She took the fact that she never realized his father was on the force hard, as she prided herself on her amazing mory and observation skills. This, consequently, also ant that this either wasn't a retcon, or it was sohow different than what I did to the mug, as she didn't experience any retroactive mory consolidation. As far as she was concerned, her father was just a slightly overprotective office worker at a nondescript workplace, and she never pried into his job any further than that.
As for why she didn't, I considered the possibility of her getting her perception filtered, so that the states of 'he's a simple office worker, because she said so' and 'he's a policeman, because he has a gun' could exist in parallel, and therefore keep the world consistent. That is, until I collapsed the wave function. She didn't find that funny, but at least I was trying.
In any case, this was yet another entry on our growing list of things that needed to be investigated, but with the Draconian conference coming up, both my ti and my ntal fortitude was already portioned out, so there was a bat's chance in hell I could try and peek behind the curtain of reality in the near future. Seriously though, the fact that I was using the sa ntal reserves for Phasing, ssing with enchantnts, and doing reality-warping shenanigans was becoming more of a bottleneck with every passing day.
"Ah! You guys are so cute!" Angie called out as she ca downstairs and caught us hugging, so I did the boyfriendly thing and held my girlfriend even closer with a not-at-all smug grin.
"Showoff," ca the next comnt from Josh following after her.
The two of them arrived not too long ago, just a little after lunchti, and they just deposited the excited Celestial's tennis gear in my room. She had club practice in the morning, and Josh sohow got roped into it. On a more upbeat note, she finally got over her post-exam funk, and the two of them have been having multiple 'events' like that in the past couple of days, aning the rom-com train was still happily running in the background regardless of the supernatural stuff occupying most of our ti. How does the quote go? The more things change, the more they stay the sa?
"Where's Ammy?" the happy-go-lucky Celestial inquired the mont she reached the ground floor.
"I last saw her in the kitchen," Judy answered in a muffled yet still deadpan voice, her face buried in my chest and apparently feeling comfortable enough she saw no reason to let go just yet.
"Did soone call?" the class rep arrived with a question of her own. Unlike the others, she was already in her Magiforr uniform, and she had an open bag of biscuits in her hands.
"I was just curious," Angie answered, and then shalessly reached into the bag and snatched a piece.
"You could've just asked," Ammy grumbled, and the other girl flashed a toothy girl at her.
"I'm sorry. I should've trained her better before I took her out in public."
"What am I, a dog?" Angie grumbled between two bites, but didn't seem to mind the comnt too much. Maybe another inside joke? Anyhow, after a short pause she continued with an overdramatic, "Oh, woe is ! You've completely shattered my poor feelings! How are you going to take responsibility?"
"I'm not taking any," Josh answered with a tone flatter than a desert road.
"And that's why you don't have a girlfriend," she concluded with a knowing nod, while Josh defiantly crossed his arms.
"Since when are you an authority on this topic? Last I checked, you don't have a boyfriend either."
"Not for the lack of trying, I tell you," she answered in a huff.
"Okay, break it up," I cut in. "Could you two please take your UST sowhere else? The others are coming over."
"You still haven't told what that even ans," Josh griped, but when I didn't pay him any heed, he soon let it go and glanced out the window. "Are all the Knights coming over?" When I nodded, he let out a lung-rattling sigh. "So that ans she's coming too. Marvelous."
"Looking forward to eting with the new girl again, aren't you?" Angie comnted on the side, and for once I could distinctly sense so barbs in her words.
"Why would I?" the guy asked back, obviously flabbergasted by the re suggestion.
"Because you're getting along so well," our resident Celestial responded with a voice that was clearly displeased, and even Josh must have picked up on it, because he gave his full attention to his childhood friend.
"You might want to get your eyes checked, because there's no way anyone with a working pair would mistake us for getting along."
"Oh sure. Just brush off. It's not like I've known you for ages and could clearly tell when you're having fun."
"When did I ever have fun with her?"
"Every ti I see you two together."
"We're never together! I don't even like Penny!"
"Then why are you calling her that?"
"That's her na! What next? Should I call her by her full na to show that we don't like each other? That would be hella awkward, considering she's Leo's sister. At least, I think." He paused their argunt to glance at and ask, "She is, right?"
"Yes," I admitted, as by this point even I couldn't deny that she firmly took the unoccupied spot of 'rebellious little sister' in my mind. "However, I think I just warned you two about spreading your UST around like that."
"I still don't know what that even is!" Josh complained aloud, and normally this would've been the point where Ammy would've entered into 'authority mode' to scold them over making a ruckus, yet she remained entirely silent. In fact, she's been really silent as of late, and even now, she was spacing out, so I ignored the bickering childhood friend duo
"Hey, class rep?" She blinked in surprise and turned her attention to . "Is everything all right?"
"Yes. I'm just a little tired. I was up late last night."
"Paperwork?" Judy guessed, still attached to like a baby koala.
"No, I was… um… Texting."
"With Mike?" I guessed, and she weakly nodded. I saw no reason to pry any further, so I adopted a reassuring smile and told her, "Neat. I'm happy to hear you're no longer buried under School paperwork."
"… Thanks?"
She sounded a little taken aback by the way I closed the topic, but she obviously didn't want to disclose her personal life, so we tacitly left it at that. Not that there was any ti for further discussion, as we both noticed a line of black minivans coming to a stop on the street outside.
"The Knights arrived!" I announced, and Snowy imdiately headed towards the front entrance.
"I'll go make sure they won't get stuck on the wards!"
In the anti, Judy detached herself from and headed outside as well, which left only the arguing childhood friends to deal with before the others ca in. Or so I thought.
"Let's ask Leo!" Angie exclaid the mont I turned back to them, and she held an imaginary microphone under my nose. "In your opinion, if you eat a strawberry crepe after a savory crepe, does it count as dessert, or not?"
"… Where the heck did that co from? Weren't you just arguing a mont ago?"
"That's ancient history," the energetic Celestial declared and shook her invisible microphone. "So? What's your answer?"
"I have no idea. I don't even like crepes that much."
"Heresy!"/"Heretic!" the two echoed in perfect unison.
"Let's go ask Elly. She looks like a crepe person," Josh proposed, and Angie agreed with almost religious zeal.
In conclusion, childhood friends are fascinating, yet unpredictable creatures that are best observed from afar. That's it for today's nature docuntary, please tune in for our next episode as well. Sa Leonard channel, sa 'what is this I don't even' ti.
So, after ignoring these two, I focused my attention on the newcors trickling into the house. The procession was led by Elly, and once inside, she didn't even bother to take off her coat; the mont she kicked off her boots, she dashed over to my side and glomped .
"Hi, princess. You didn't have to rush this much, I'm not going anywhere."
"Judy said she got an aweso hug!" she exclaid and opened her arms wide. "I want one too."
"I don't know what's especially 'aweso' about it, but sure."
While I fulfilled my boyfriendly obligations, the Entitled Knights entered the house, with Penny leading the group. They were dressed in their own casual clothes, and all of them had at least one duffle bag with them holding the rest of their things. My sister had three. I had no idea how she could carry them all at the sa ti, but she sohow managed.
"We've arrived!"
"So this is Brother Leonard's ho," Arnwald spoke absent-mindedly, his hands busy trying to get his frazzled sideburns under control after he took off his scarf.
"It's as utilitarian as Penny said," Roland comnted on the side, while Mr. Minotaur remained stalwartly silent. They both walked over to the sitting area to put their bags down, probably so that the rest could co inside as well.
Said others were the barely-side-character Squires, and they all entered in single file, wearing the sa tracksuits as usual. The reason behind that was quite mundane: they didn't have any other clothes. By the looks of it, since they were not supposed to be important in the grand sche of things, and only serve as mooks, the Simulacrum didn't generate any of the obvious background elents for them, including their own clothes beyond their twenty-four-seven armors. Considering this world's track record with absolutely baffling 'optimization' thods, we weren't even surprised.
I waited for everyone to co inside, and after Snowy closed the front door behind her, I loudly cleared my throat to get everyone's attention.
"Before we do anything else, Judy, please stand there." My dearest assistant directed an odd glance at , but when I urged her with my brows, she gave up and followed my instructions. "Good. Now, Penny, please co over here." She obviously wanted to ask why, but I cut her off by adding, "Also, put your bags down for now."
Judy subtly rolled her eyes, so I once again used my facial muscles to signal her not to break the script, and she grudgingly played along. Once my second sister was in position, I cleared my throat again and loudly asked, "Is everyone here?"
There was a mont of silence in the room, and Roland looked like he was just about to co forward when the target of my question finally got her cue.
"Everyone's here!" a high-pitched voice called out as Judy's shadow rippled and a rotund fox shot out of it like she was launched from a catapult. Then, while still in mid-air her body flashed with colorless light, and a little girl wearing a shrine maiden outfit landed with a beaming smile. "Welco, Penny-sama!"
She, incidentally, landed right in front of my sister, and the girl let out a startled 'Eeep!' and jumped back to hide behind Mr. Griffon. However, even though all of that unfolded in a single second, it would be sothing that would last forever thanks to my foresight in taking a photo of her reaction with my phone.
"Chief, your hobby is getting worse over ti," my dearest assistant grumbled, but I didn't mind. One day, when we'll be old and wrinkly, she'll learn to appreciate my collection.
"W-w-what is that!?" Penny called out from behind the Griffon Knight, and even he was giving the still beaming Ichiko a curious look.
"I already told you about her," I answered with a satisfied grin and put my phone away.
"Ue-sama! Did I do well?" The foxy miko ca over with expectant eyes, so I gave her a thumb up, and she let out a delighted yip. She's been doing that even while in human form as of late. Was she spending too much ti as a fox?
"There will be more than enough tis for introductions later. The most important thing was already accomplished, so let's move location."
"But we just arrived. If we are moving again, we should have stayed in the cars."
Hearing Roland's comnt, I couldn't help but smile mysteriously.
"We're not traveling by car," I said and gently nudged Elly to let go. Once she reluctantly did so, I gestured for everyone to follow after . "Ladies and gentlen, allow to introduce you to my teleport closet, version two."
The gang was already used to this, but the Knights looked more than a little confused by my words. However, it wasn't either of them who spoke up first, but the class rep.
"Oh? It actually looks much better now," she noted after poking her head inside the dark closet. "What makes it version two?"
"It can now take two people at the sa ti," I told them, and when I only received weird looks in return, I clarified. "I an, excluding ."
"Oh, that makes more sense," Josh noted on the side. "But couldn't you already do that?"
"Yes, but now it's much more stable. Don't ask about the details, it's technical," I answered him with the unspoken implication that he really shouldn't nitpick at the cover of my Phasing ability, and he quickly picked up on it.
"You have a teleportation circle in your own house?" Penny also stuck my head inside, and after looking around for a while, she asked the obvious question of, "Where does it lead?"
"To a secret base!" Ichiko exclaid, making her jump and hide behind this ti.
"… I know you were startled by our prank, but it's kind of hurting your gallant knightly image if you keep getting scared by a little girl."
"I'm not scared, just… She's weird!" she declared, making the foxy miko blink.
"Ue-sama? Am I really weird?"
"No, you're not. Don't worry about it."
She nodded like my words were all the proof she needed, only to be suddenly captured by Angie.
"Ichiko! It's been so long since I last saw you! Quick, turn back into a fox!" She did so without any further prompting, and Angie imdiately threw a biscuit into the air. The tiny fox once again fired herself up like she had springs for legs to catch the treat, and on the way down, she was caught in the Celestial girl's arms.
"Just when did she…?" Ammy muttered as she glanced at the bag in her hand. anwhile, Penny tugged at my sleeve, demanding my attention.
"Seriously, brother! What is she?"
"I told you. She's a sword who's now a little girl. And a fox. And a ninja. Oh, and technically she's also a Chira, but that part is questionable at this point."
By the looks of it, my sister was about to suffer from a blue screen of death while trying to comprehend my words, so Arnwald cleared his throat and looked across the room.
"I must admit, Brother Leonard, I did not expect your companions to be so…"
"Odd?" I ventured a guess.
"I wanted to say lively, but your adjective also certainly applies." His eyes montarily lingered on the Celestial girl, joined by Snowy and Elly, playing with the fluffy little nace, and he let out a grandfatherly chuckle that suited him much better than it ever did Sebastian. "It's certainly not a bad thing."
"Ye talked aboot a base, didnae ye? Whit's that aboot?" Duncan entered the conversation with a voice that said he'd rather stay silent, but wanted to get things going.
"You'll soon see it with your own eyes." For emphasis, I tapped on the doorfra leading into the fake teleport point. "Form into pairs, and I'll take you there."
What followed was about twenty minutes of rapid back-and-forth Phasing between my house and the base, the boring details of which shall be omitted. This ti I didn't have to leave anyone behind on housesitting duty, as we had not one, but two Kage ninjas stationed in the house. They were holed up in the attic, as we lacked the stereotypical ceiling paneling behind which stereotypical ninjas could do their stereotypical skulking.
In any case, I managed to make the rounds and transport everyone over, and it only resulted in minimal nausea. Not to toot my own horn or anything, but I felt like I was getting much better at Phasing. In the past, this many round trips would've left woozy for about an hour. Was it practice? Or was it the result of my recent reality-bending activities? I'd be damned if I knew, but it was certainly a welco improvent.
Speaking of welcos, the newbies were still busy exploring the base's reception room, so I clapped my hands to get their attention.
"Gather up, gather up. I would like to officially welco you to our secret base."
"Are we underground?" Roland cut in.
"As a matter of fact, we are. What gave it away?"
"The air."
"Very observant of you. Indeed, we're underground, and for the next couple of days, I want you to stay here and familiarize yourself with the place and the others. You'll be provided with free lodging and three als a day. If you require anything else, you can fill out a requisition form and get it delivered. Any questions?"
"Who are these 'others' you speak of?" Penny asked the mont she got the opportunity.
"Good question." While answering, I walked towards the tal door leading into the main hall, and the Knights followed on my heels. The gang, on the other hand, was already used to the place, so they lagged behind. "So of you have already t a few of them during the ti you were unconditionally invited to the Dracis mansion."
"That's… a unique way to put it," Arnwald whispered under his breath, and Duncan agreed with a grunt.
"Besides them, you'll also have to et our newly ford research division, consisting of freelance Research Society mbers and their assistants." I paused as I put my hand on the door in front of and added, in a firm voice, "They might look strange, and their interests might seem peculiar, but I'd like you all to have an open mind. In fact, that applies to everyone on the other side of this door."
"This does nae bode weel..."
I ignored Mr. Minotaur's negativity and opened the door, only to freeze in place, and close it back up. I took a deep breath, and adopted a poker-face as I turned over to the suddenly tense group behind .
"Excuse , but it seems like we're having so technical difficulties. Please stay here until I call for you."
"O-Okay."
Penny sounded apprehensive, so I flashed her one of my brotherly smiles I usually reserved to Snowy and opened the door again, just wide enough so that I could slip through, and imdiately shut it behind . I took a deep breath to get my temper under control, but just as I was about to succeed, sothing touched my foot.
I glanced down, and found a small, pink hemisphere, no bigger than a soccer ball, tapping at my shin with its many stubby tentacles, its one oversized eye staring at with an affectionate gaze demanding attention. With the breath still trapped in my throat, I reached down and grabbed the critter. It was surprisingly light and squishy, and as I held it up upside down, it flailed its tiny legs and short tendrils.
My eyes glided over the main hall, and once I had to sadly conclude there was no way this could be quietly resolved, I let out the mother of all bellows, fueled by all the indignation of a ruined first impression.
"Which one of you bloody mad scientist bastards let the mini-shoggoths loose again?!"
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