"We need to find that creep!" Josh declared with his arms crossed, actively destroying the peace and quiet of the lounge.
"We must!" Ichiko agreed by mirroring his stance. "We can't let him ruin ue-sama's vacation!"
I wanted to point out that making a mountain out of a molehill like this was more likely to do that than any random peeping tom, but I sucked the words back. I repeated 'Don't get involved, Leo. Don't get involved.' in my head a couple of tis and continued to openly laze around on one of the divans. This was obviously so kind of onsen-episode-flavored plot for local protagonist types, so I proceeded to recline back, doggedly ignore the overly passionate group on my left, and keep reading my book. I got it from the library, and it was about a peach farr who got transported to a fantasy world by a magical truck, and he fought his enemies with magic fruits and vegetables. It was very educational.
I would've absolutely, obviously, and very genuinely loved to imrse myself in his avocado-slinging, banana-splitting, pineapple-pulverizing adventures, but I couldn't, as Josh was soon joined by even more eager partners.
"Rinne whale-heartedly agrees with Joshua-san!"
Our resident highly visible ninja, currently wearing a fluffy purple bathrobe over her swimsuit, tried to appear solemn and reliable. She failed.
"Rinne-san ant 'wholeheartedly', and I think so too!" the tiny miko poured more enthusiasm onto the fire by raising a fist high into the air. "We must clear this stain of failure on our honor as retainers by catching this villain!"
"Now that you ntion it, securing the area was your job, wasn't it?" Josh comnted on the side, and it imdiately put Mountain Girl on the defensive.
"Rinne was sure the onmyodo barriers around the boundary were enough to deter any evildoers! That's why Rinne wasn't expecting it! Next ti, Rinne will definitely evis… evisce… slay the intruder!"
I really, really wanted to interject and tell her not to do that, but it would've violated my 'don't get involved' mantra, so I swallowed my objection down and focused on the book.
"Since we're all in agreent, I propose that we form an anti-creeper task force!"
"Rinne requests to join this fellowship!"
"Good. What about you?"
"I'm Judy-ue's guard!" the tiny miko answered while excitedly shadow-boxing. "This ti, I will protect her dignity and have ue-sama praise !"
"Rinne too!"
Mountain girl was getting more fired up by the second, to the point she was slowly breaking out into one of her trademark slasher grins. Of course, I only noticed that in passing, since I was obviously too absorbed in my book. About a guy fighting pig-headed orks with exploding eggplants and eviscerating elderberries.
…
Oh, fine. I wasn't actually reading the book. It was just my cover, so that I could observe the plot developnt from the sidelines while pretending that I didn't notice the expectant glances Josh was routinely sending my way. He was probably waiting for to join his impromptu task force, but I knew better. As I said, this was almost certainly an 'event' designed specifically for him, so I washed my hands of the whole affair.
Maybe if the girls were naked, or even just sufficiently scared by the experience, I might've potentially done sothing about the situation, but considering the circumstances, the perpetrator was probably more terrified by a stone the size of my head getting flung at them than any of the 'victims'.
That said, I was at least a little curious about the identity of the peeper. These kinds of events usually had the idiot friend archetype, or maybe so troublemaker delinquent types, act as the perpetrator. Most of the ti it was either just horsing around, or so silly thing with the perversion ramped up for codic effect, but in either case, the culprits were almost always people the main characters already knew. However, as the resident ex-idiot-friend, I obviously wasn't going to do it, and while we had the Goldfish Poop Gang around, they were still weirdly wary of , so I seriously doubted they would dare to pull a stunt like that. That only left us with our in-group, and nobody here, not even Duncan, was stupid enough to peep, even for a joke.
Maybe it was a setup for another event? I imagined we'd soon find out, considering how keen Josh was about tracking the guy down. Actually, that brought up another question: was he narratively influenced to be so indignant about the situation, or did he have his own Watsonian reasons? I wondered what Judy would've said about it, and as if on cue, she entered the lounge in the company of the princess, closely followed by my sisters.
We already had our lunch in the restaurant, browsed the resort's small library, and then while I set up camp here to observe the situation, the girls got changed in preparation for the fighting ga tournant. I had no idea why that needed a change of attire, and what they were wearing didn't seem too different from their usual outfits, but maybe it was a girl thing my terminally male brain just couldn't hope to comprehend. In any case, they made their way over to us and the princess automatically sat down next to .
"We aren't late, are we?"
"Nah. They're still discussing the whole peeper thing," I told her with a shrug. "They're apparently trying to catch the guy by forming so kind of security squad."
"Really?" Penny perked up and glanced over to Josh's group. "Do you think I can join them?"
"Don't ask , ask them."
My knightly sister let out a huff and turned on her heel, leaving Snowy behind. After a mont of confusion, my Abyssal sister decided to stay, and sat down on my divan, leaving enough space so that Judy could still sit next to if she wanted. She was such a considerate girl.
"So… what are you reading?" the princess inquired while unsubtly peeking at my book.
"It's a weird story of a farr squashing monsters with magical squashes."
"The vegetable?" Snowy muttered on my other side, and I nodded. "Is it any good?"
"Nah, it's downright terrible, but I got a couple of chuckles out of it," I admitted, and before I knew it Elly smoothly pulled the book over to give it a closer look.
"Is it bad enough for a live reading session?" my dear assistant asked, and I only just noticed that she had a huge bag of popcorn in her hands.
When she noticed my gaze, she offered it to , but I shook my head. We had a full-course al for lunch, and I was still full. If anything, I was curious how she still had space in her fra for snacks after wolfing down a whole steak. I've heard that girls had a separate stomach for sweets, but I seriously doubted that buttered popcorn qualified for that.
More importantly, I considered her question and shook my head again.
"It's not nearly nanar enough for that. It's just a generic power fantasy, just with magical vegetables."
"Nanar?" Snowy echoed with an inquisitive look in her eyes. "Is that one of those trope things you sotis talk about?"
"In a manner of speaking," Judy answered in my stead between two bites. "Nanar is when an author or director is trying to make sothing serious to the best of their ability, but the end product ends up unintentionally hilarious due to incompetence."
"Oh. Do you an… sothing like that movie we watched a while back? With the giant robots in space?"
"More or less," I muttered, suddenly recalling that I totally forgot to look into buying the IP rights for that movie as her Christmas present. Oh well. Maybe for her birthday.
"Hey, guys? What's up?" Glancing over my shoulder, I saw Angie approaching us, her sideways ponytail bouncing around with each springy step. However, before any of us could answer, she montarily froze in her track and stared at Elly with wide-open eyes. "Hold on! Is that the second volu of Potato Knight?"
"Um… Let see…" she turned the book around to take a look at the cover. "Apparently, it is."
"Aweso! It's one of my favorites!"
Saying so, Angie sat down next to the princess, and even though we still had a space open for Judy, the divan was starting to feel a little crowded. More importantly, once seated, she began drilling my girlfriend.
"Is this the first ti you're reading it? How far have you got? The Tomato Fairy was really cute, right? And what do you think about the romance subplot? It only really picks up steam in the fourth volu, but there are already a couple of super-adorable scenes with the protagonist and the duchess in the second volu! Did you get to the part where they go to the ball and dance in the air above the castle?"
"Um… Errr… Leo? Help?"
Sighing, I gently pulled the book out of Elly's hand and turned to face the energetic Celestial.
"Actually, I was the one who borrowed this from the library just now, and I can't comnt on any of those things, as I just started reading it."
"Oh, so it's your first ti. In that case… Wait." All of a sudden, Angie's eyes narrowed in disapproval. "You started with the second volu?"
"This was the only one I could find," I explained, but it only made her even more incredulous.
"Are you crazy!? You can't start a seminal classic from the second volu! You're missing all the plot developnts and character descriptions and the food discussions!" One of those was distinctly more important than the rest, but I didn't really care either way, so I simply shrugged. "Heresy! You're a heretic! You must repent by reading the series from the beginning!"
For so reason (possibly an inside joke I didn't get), she was making a cross with her fingers while pestering , and after a while, I told her, "Well, I can't, because the library doesn't have the first volu."
"That's not an excuse! Once we're back ho, I'm lending you all seventeen volus, and you better read them all from cover to cover, mister! It's going to be on the test!"
"What test?"
"The test I'll put together to see if you've read Potato Knight properly!" Angie declared just a tad smugly, and I was just about to tell her to cut it out when my dear assistant raised her voice.
"If you don't want to read them, can I take a look?"
"… Are you serious, Dormouse?"
"It's for research," Judy stated flatly, and it sohow got my other girlfriend fired up, taking the book out of my hands again.
"Hey, that's a good idea! It should be great practice for finding tropes!"
"Stop!" ca the next exclamation from Angie, and she tried to take the book for herself. "You can't start with the second volu! It's going to spoil the finale of the first book!"
It was around this ti that my self-preservation instincts kicked in, and shifted my 'Don't get involved' mantra's target over to Angie. Which, in turn, ant that I was now paying attention to Josh's group instead.
"Why should you be the leader?" my redhead sister asked in a provocative tone, followed by an indignant huff.
"Because it's my anti-creeper task force," Josh explained in the sa manner, all the while staring daggers at her. Of course, my sister wasn't exactly cowed by this and returned the gesture twofold by pointing a finger at the guy's forehead.
"You have no experience! If you want to see results, you should let your senior lead the group!"
"Since when were you my senior?"
"I, am an Entitled Knight, which makes your superior," Penny declared while gesturing at herself. "Uncle Roland told you want to join us, so you might as well start getting used to it!"
"Oh really? Last I've heard, you're being reorganized, and that entitlent thing doesn't an anything anymore," Josh jabbed back defiantly, and even though he was reaching (the reorganizing of the ranks wasn't that drastic), it still caused Penny to reel back.
"M-Maybe, but I'm still brother's sister! That ans I'm his second-in-command!"
"Wasn't that Roland?" Josh mused in faux innocence, causing my sister to steadily turn redder by the second.
"Then the third!"
"I'm pretty sure that's Arnwald," he pointed out, and this ti my knightlier sister's fuse was really about to blow.
Glancing around, we locked gazes for a mont, yet to my surprise, she didn't address , but instead the girl sitting next to .
"S-Sister! Support! I need support!"
Taken aback, Snowy remained in a surprised stupor for a couple of seconds, so to help her out, I leaned over a whispered into her ear. Her eyes lit up at once, and she conveyed my idea with the words, "You… are both going to compete, right? I-I an, playing that ga." After a long beat, Josh and Penny both nodded more-or-less in unison. "If so, then… Why don't you use it to decide? Whoever wins gets to be the leader… or sothing like that."
"That's a great idea!" my knightly sister declared on the spot and flashed a provocative grin at Josh. He, on the other hand, was considerably less fired up.
"Why do I have to do that? I'm already the leader, so I won't gain anything even if I win!"
"What? Are you afraid of losing? Are you a chicken?"
"Excuse ?" Instead of answering, Penny started doing weird clucking noises, so Josh turned to with a befuddled look in his eyes. "Hey, Leo? Can you do sothing about your sister? She's embarrassing herself in front of everyone."
"Oh, shut up!" Apparently out of patience, Penny grabbed hold of Josh's collar and pulled him towards the arcade corner. "I'll show you!"
"Are we seriously doing this?" Since nobody answered, my friend soon gave up and brushed the hand holding onto his clothes off. "Fine, whatever. Just don't cry after I beat you."
"That's what you said before the tournant too, and look who was laughing at the end?"
Penny flashed a smug grin that, once again, reminded of the princess. Josh, on the other hand, looked like he just bit into a lemon.
"I told you, I was still recuperating at the ti."
"Excuses."
"Oh, really? I wonder if you'll have any after I beat you."
"Bring it on, tough guy!"
I couldn't help but feel that the whole conversation went way off the rails sowhere, and considering that Ichiko and Rinne left the group halfway through and headed towards the sauna while discussing their own plans, I wasn't the only one. Anyhow, that hubbub was under wraps for the ti being, so I was about to turn to my dear assistant when Snowy tugged on my sleeve.
"Thanks, Leo," she whispered with a bashful smile. "My mind went completely blank back there."
"No problem, sis." I thought that was the end of it, but seeing how she was still looking at while subtly fidgeting, I figured she might've had sothing else on her mind as well. "Is there sothing bothering you?"
"W-What? No? W-What makes you think there's a problem?" That would've sounded suspicious even under the best circumstances, but when she averted her eyes too, I was sure sothing was going on.
"Are you sure? We can go to a more private spot if it isn't sothing you want to discuss in public," I proposed, but she shook her head so hard her twin tails were all over the place.
"N-No, it's not like that! It's just… um… Do… Do you think Penny seed… different from usual?"
I glanced at my other sister, who was by the Street Kombat cabinet and picking her fighter, and even after replaying the previous conversation in my head, I couldn't help but shrug.
"Not really. Why? Did sothing happen?"
Snowy was still reluctant, but ultimately gestured for to lean closer, and when I did, she whispered directly into my ear.
"Last night… we did sothing sisters aren't supposed to do."
It took an inhuman effort to still my facial muscles, and after taking and exhaling a painfully deep breath, I whispered back, "Sis, please be more specific."
"So… um… Last night, after turning off the lights, we couldn't sleep, so we started talking about all kinds of things, and then we… had a fight," she blurted out, and I patiently waited for her to continue. She didn't.
"A fight about what?"
"About… which one of us is your… um… 'first sister'," she told , and it once again took a lot of effort to remain expressionless. "I-I an… she'd known you for longer, but you forgot about her, and then I was the one who got officially registered as your sister first, and… and it's silly, isn't it?"
"A little," I admitted while rubbing her noggin. "You know that I don't play favorites."
"I-I know, it's just… once we started arguing about it, I just kind of… you know?"
I didn't, but that didn't an I wouldn't give her even more of my trademarked Big Brotherly Headpats to calm her down.
"Sure, sure. So? Do you need to diate between you two?"
"Hm? Oh, no. We already made up." When I raised a confused brow at that, she hastily explained, "After we argued, Penny said that she was sorry, and then we hugged it out."
"So then, where's the problem?"
"I'm just… not sure that she's really not angry with ."
"It doesn't seem so from where I'm sitting," I told her, but she didn't look convinced. "If you're still bothered by it, just talk with her in private again. You already made it up once, so what's the worst that could happen? It's not like you would suddenly stop being my sisters over sothing so trivial."
"You're right, I guess…"
My dear Abyssal sister was still conflicted, so on a whim, I tapped her shoulder and pointed at Penny and Josh, already in the process of duking it out in the ga.
"Why don't you go and cheer on her, then? I'm pretty sure Penny would appreciate it."
"I don't know… wouldn't that make Joshua feel bad?"
"Then cheer on him too. She won't mind…" I paused here, then quickly added, "But in the off-chance she does, you have my permission to shift the bla onto ."
"That doesn't seem fair either…"
Chuckling, I rubbed her head again, this ti just a tad harder, and told her, "Stop overthinking things and just have fun. That's why we're here."
She was still a little reluctant, but after so further prodding, Snowy finally stood up and made her way over to the site of the epic ultimate duel of ultimate destinies. Teenagers and their overthinking, amirite?
So, with her out of the picture, I was just about to turn over to the princess's side, who was still busy discussing the deep and nuanced characters arcs, in a book about slaying spooky skeletons with deadly dates and killer kiwifruits… which she didn't actually read yet. That apparently didn't stop her, nor did it give Angie any second thoughts about spoilers, in contrast with her previous words. However, before I could properly listen in on their discussion, I was surprised by Judy casually taking a seat in the hitherto vacant spot next to .
I was expecting that she would say sothing, but instead, she just set her head against my shoulder and continued to eat her popcorn.
"Hey, Dormouse?" Glancing up at , she gave an odd look. "You're being awfully quiet."
"I'm simply observing our surroundings," she told like it was obvious. "It's rare to have a quiet mont like this, so I'm enjoying it to the fullest."
"I'm not sure I would call this day 'quiet', but… I guess you're not wrong, per se."
"Of course I'm not. I'm always right, except when the world is wrong. Anyhow, popcorn?"
I turned a skeptical eye, first at her, then at the nearly empty bag in her hand.
"You're unusually llow today. What gives?"
"What a silly question, Chief? You ask as if you weren't the one who helped reach nirvana last night."
"… Was that an innuendo?"
"Maybe. So, do you want any popcorn, or not?"
We locked eyes for a mont, and then I unceremoniously reached into the bag and took a handful, much to my girlfriend's satisfaction, after which she nuzzled even closer to .
Putting the whole 'nirvana' thing aside, maybe Judy was right. While things were a little hectic on the surface, all the hubbub was about fairly ta and inconsequential things. Maybe unwinding for a while and just passively looking at things unfold with popcorn in hand wasn't such a bad idea after all.
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