"Are we calm yet?" I asked with just the tiiiniest hint of exasperation in my voice, and the two trigger-happy idiots in front of nodded in unison. They were both sitting on their heels in the middle of the living room with the conference table. Or rather, Rinne did so, while Jaakobah was clumsily yet stoically trying to follow her example, even though he obviously wasn't used to this kind of thing.
Anyhow, the two of them kept eyeing each other instead of responding to (though in the case of Mountain Girl, I could only guess based on body language), so I forcefully cleared my throat and crossed my arms.
"Jaakobah. Explain."
My self-appointed guard's eyes snapped back to , and after a salute made infinitely clumsier by his posture, he spoke up in an especially mirthless voice.
"I arrived at the Archon's residence at sixteen-thirty to make my report regarding the current state of the Praetorian Guard. Upon entry, I made contact with…" He paused and directed a disparaging glance at the woman motionlessly kneeling next to him. "Her. After repeated attempts to make contact, she refused to identify herself, so I made an effort to apprehend her. She resisted."
I waited for him to continue, but that was it. Once I successfully resisted the urge to facepalm again, I narrowed my eyes into a disapproving frown and locked gazes with the man.
"So you attacked her," I stated, and he nodded without a hint of pretence.
"It is my duty to guard you, and she was an unknown elent in your quarters, aning I—"
"Can it," I much less said than groaned and pointed at the stock-still Mountain Girl. "Don't even try to pretend her presence isn't already known far and wide in the Elysium."
"Yes, but…" Jaakobah tried to argue back, but after a short pause, he respectfully inclined his head forward and switched tracks. "Lord Archon? May I speak my mind freely?"
"When have you ever not done that?" I asked back, and his shoulders rose in a tiny shrug that could be best translated as 'Fair point' and moved on without any reservations.
"As you have predicted, her appearance is already widely known and speculated upon by the Directorate. I have been inford by Primus Khurshid that you designated her as your personal bodyguard, but as your Praetorian Prefect, I am duty-bound to object."
I continued to level a flat stare at him, but Jaakobah remained entirely poker-faced. At last, I exhaled hard and opted for massaging my temple instead of a facepalm.
"Are you questioning right now?"
"No, Lord Archon. I'm rely advising," he answered smoothly, as if expecting the question. "The organization of the Praetorian Guard is still underway, and her presence infringes on the current chain of command. At the bare minimum, you should have notified about her ahead of ti." He paused, probably realizing that he sounded a bit too forceful. "As the Praetorian Prefect, it is my responsibility to ensure your safety, privacy, and to ensure smooth communications between you and the staff serving you. Such information is necessary for to fulfil my duties."
He was making a decent argunt, though I couldn't help but feel that the whole thing was really about Rinne encroaching on his newfound authority. As indifferent as he was on the surface, the way he kept emphasizing his rank made that much pretty obvious. That said, I was currently playing the role of Polemos, and as such, I had no reason to call him out on it. Or to play nice with him, if we were at that.
"What I choose to tell to whom is up to and alone," I told him in a low voice, and after letting him simr for a mont, I continued in a more neutral tone. "That said, I'm not unreasonable. While I normally wouldn't tolerate conflict between my retainers, you acted in accordance with your duties, so I will not hold you responsible."
Jaakobah gave another deferential nod, but then imdiately followed it up with a pointed question.
"Understood. However, if still feel obliged to ask; are you not going to question her as well?"
I glanced at the motionless ninja-in-disguise, and had to admit that not hearing out her side of the story would've been a bit unnatural. Thankfully, I had a ready answer for that.
"She doesn't speak," I said in a disinterested tone. "She also has my full confidence, so there would be no need to question her."
Jaakobah blinked at , and it took him several seconds to digest what I said, but then he threw another inquiry at .
"If I may ask, who exactly is she for you to trust her to that degree?"
My first reflex was to give him the cover story I'd been fernting at the back of my mind all day, but I had a different idea, and allowed an amused smile to creep onto my face instead.
"You tell ."
That was a bit too vague, as testified by the man's slightly raised brows, so I made a sweeping gesture towards Mountain Girl.
"I'm sure there are already countless rumours being traded about her, and I'm certain that you must have heard at least a few. So go ahead. Tell who you think she is."
The dour Celestial eyed for a few seconds, and once he concluded that I was serious, he straightened his back and took a deep breath.
"While I do not involve myself in idle gossip, I have indeed caught snippets of conversation pertaining to her." I gestured for him to continue. "The three most consistently spoken theories are as follows: so say that she's a talented Malakim the Lord Archon brought into the Migdál as a political statent."
"That one's probably coming from the Reformists," I guessed, and he nodded at once. "I'm not going to lie; I expected sothing more original. Let's see if the other two rumours could live up to my expectations."
"The second theory, claims that she's a mber of a secret society that hid in the shadows of Elysium for millennia, loyal only to the Second True Archon and waiting for his return to serve him once again."
It took quite so effort to still my face after hearing that. Just how much free ti and loose imagination did these guys have to co up with sothing like that in just half a day? Anyhow, I tried my best to remain unflappable and blandly stated, "A little plain, but serviceable. What's the third one?"
"So say that she's one of Archon Polemos's old allies who had also undergone reincarnation and that you left the Migdál every night looking for her. Also, while it might not be entirely relevant to the conversation, I think it would be irresponsible of if I didn't ntion that all three of these theories independently assu that she's your mistress."
Rinne visibly twitched at this mont, prompting Jaakobah to glance at her reaction.
"You have my permission to laugh at that when we're in private," I ca to her rescue with a carefully maintained thin-lipped smile, as if I just heard sothing absurd, and then turned back to the slightly confounded man. "I like the third one. Very dramatic, and doesn't involve politics or a secret society that would make the Directorate get even more paranoid. You have my permission to categorically deny it in public and insist on it being entirely fabricated."
"… Reverse psychology?" Jaakobah whispered with his eyes glazed over, his mind already making all kinds of silly connections no doubt, and then he glanced back at . "Does that an it's not the actual truth?"
"Obviously."
"And you are not planning to enlighten ," he stated, not even bothering to make it a question, and before I could respond, he also added, "Plausible deniability."
Instead of saying anything, I flashed a knowing smile, and my Praetorian Prefect nodded along.
"As you command, Lord Archon." He gave a salute again, this ti a bit more gracefully, but then added, "Before I go, I would like to request one vital piece of information."
"Such as?"
"What is her na?"
We glanced at Rinne, and after a long beat, I told him, "For now, you may refer to her as my Arbiter."
"Arbiter?" Jaakobah repeated after with a frown. "Who is she going to judge?"
"You'll see," I responded with a not-at-all-sinister smirk, and once I set the groundwork like that, I pointed two fingers upwards. "Rise."
I didn't need to say that twice, and less than a second later, Mountain Girl was already on her feet and moved behind . The Celestial took considerably longer to get up, and once he did, he straightened his outfit and turned to , awaiting instructions. I didn't let him wait for long.
"Go and get soone to clean up and repair the ss you've made."
"As you command." He waited to see if I had anything else to add, so I figured I might as well do.
"Just to be clear, she answers only to . She isn't part of the Praetorian Guard, and she won't accept any orders, nor will she give any. Make sure everyone understands that."
Jaakobah nodded, and while his expression was controlled as always, I could see a hint of relief in his eyes. Apparently, he got attached to his newfound authority really fast and was glad to hear he wouldn't need to compete with Mountain Girl over it. Since I had nothing else to say, I dismissed him with a wave, and he wordlessly walked up to the entrance. It was only when he opened the door that I recalled sothing and stopped him in his tracks.
"One last thing," I spoke with my hand raised. "I want you to look into sothing for . Find out everything you can about Udug Blood Amalgams."
Jaakobah gave a sideways look, hand still on the door handle, and carefully asked, "I am… not entirely familiar with the item in question. Do you require any?"
"No. I only want to know who has access to it, where they got it from, and by what ans."
"I'll try my best."
That wasn't an answer that fostered confidence, but I didn't pester him any further, and waved my hand to show that I had nothing else for him. Nodding, he finally left the room, and only when that happened did Rinne let out a weird noise behind .
"What?" I asked as I turned around, only to see her hold her head in her hands.
"Rinne made a huge mistake!" she moaned, and while at first I thought she was going to remove her helt, she just kept overdramatically shaking her head.
"You an, by getting caught by Jaakobah, by starting a fight, or…?"
"No, not that!" she protested and finally faced properly. "Rinne wasn't paying attention to Rinne's manners, and now people think Rinne is Leonard-dono's mistress!"
"… Was that seriously the only part that made an impression on you?"
"But… But what if the rumors really get out of hand, and reach the outside? Ichiko-neesan will make fun of Rinne forever!" she suddenly stopped, and I could see her face slacken in my mind's eye. "Oh, no! What if Judy-san hears about this? Rinne will be forced to commit hara-kiri!"
I wasn't entirely sure if she was serious, but regardless, I exhaled an exasperated groan and poked her helt where her forehead would've been.
"Stop being so lodramatic. Judy only keeps doing this whole anti-harem counterasure thing to tease . She's not actually serious about it."
Or at the very least not anymore, or so I hoped, but she didn't need to know about all the caveats.
"If Leonard-dono says so…" she grumbled, and followed after as I returned to the bedroom.
"You ssed up the place pretty well," I mused as I stared at the broken bed and the clean cuts on the wall.
"Rinne just ca out of the shower, and was startled by the appearance of that man."
She was sulky, but I didn't really mind her, as I was more interested in the damaged walls.
I'd seen those Celestial workers shape whole segnts with their weird instrunts, and seeing the hard yet porous internal structure behind the plaster reignited my interest in the construction of this 'Migdál' thing. Was the whole tower made of this stuff? Which was more important when shaping it; the material, or the instrunts? Was it safe to interact with it?
While I pondered these things, Rinne remained behind , and after about half a minute, she tentatively spoke up.
"Why was Leonard-dono acting like that?"
Her question finally tore my attention away from the walls and made raise a brow.
"You an, my Polemos act?"
"Yes, that's what Rinne ant," she confird with a nod, followed by cocking her head to the side. "Why doesn't Leonard-dono show the sa leadership quantities back ho?"
"It's 'qualities', and…" I paused, just realizing how silly that question was, and fully turned to her. "What the ever-loving heck are you even talking about?"
"Leonard-dono's leadership quantities," she repeated, completely ignoring my correction.
"… Do you an being overbearing and acting like a petty tyrant?"
"Yes," she confird without a hint of hesitation.
"And in your eyes, those are good things," I uttered flatly, and she nodded along.
"Rinne believes so. They show Leonard-dono's subordinates that Leonard-dono is in control and can be trusted."
Should I point out that it was an act? Or ask her why she considered those desirable qualities in a leader? Or should I just facepalm again? The options were endless, but in the end, I decided to mutter a quiet, "Your outlook is unique as always," before shaking my head and levelling a flat stare at her. "We have more important things to discuss."
"Such as how to track down all the rumor-mongers extenuating that Rinne is Leonard-dono's mistress?"
I didn't even try to correct her this ti, and only uttered, "Are you still worked up about that?" She remained intensely silent. "No, that's really not that big of a deal. I wanted to discuss sothing else. Rember how I called you my Arbiter?"
"Rinne was aning to ask, but what does that an?" she inquired, cocking her head the other way, and I couldn't help but let a soft chuckle escape my mouth.
"It's sothing I thought of while I was back ho," I paused as I recalled sothing, and added, "By the way, remind to go back and pick up the cooler box and the food I ordered later in the evening." I waited for her to nod, and then continued with, "Anyhow, since you're here already, I figured we might as well put your sword to use."
"Onikiri?" she echoed , and based on her body language, she was just about to say sothing that would annoy , so I beat her to the punch.
"If you say sothing like 'Such as finding all the people gossiping about and cutting them all down!', I swear to god, I'll personally tell Judy about this whole 'mistress' bullcrap, consequences be damned."
"Rinne… wasn't going to say those words." That was a conspicuously specific denial, but I didn't point it out. "If not that, then what does Leonard-dono refer to?"
Instead of answering, I only smiled at her mysterious (or at least hoped it was so), and glanced at the blade hanging from her waist, its hilt and guard covered in purple cloth. For the longest ti, I've been waiting for its truth detector function to beco relevant again. After all, having such a seemingly random utility, on a sword no less, was screaming 'future plot device', but since the Narrative never picked up the ball, I figured I might as well do it myself…
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