"Seriously. It was less than ten minutes," I grumbled as I led Judy out of the movie theatre. "I thought I could go ho, get comfy, and then watch them through Far Sight to see what the hubbub was about. How was I supposed to know they would launch an all-out assault the minute we left the school?"
"You should've seen it coming," she told with a small shrug. "You said you told them to be discreet. Them doing the opposite is cody 101."
"Then what was I supposed to tell them? Cause as much chaos as possible, and hope that they would think I was using reverse psychology and do the exact opposite?" I cut my grumbles short at this point, as our ride arrived, and I held the door of the Dracis family limousine open for Judy. Once we were both inside, I let out a sharp yet exasperated sigh. "Okay, that was all. I got it out of my system, let's focus on the date."
My dear assistant snuggled up to on the wide limo seat and looked at expectantly, no doubt waiting for to tell her about our next destination.
Today was a 'big day', so to speak. Since it was our first Valentine's Day, I decided to go the extra mile and make it a special occasion. This included, among other things, three separate dates I had to organize to run seamlessly into one another. The less said about the sheer amount of logistics associated with putting everything else on hold so that I could fully dedicate my ti and attention to the girls, the better.
Dealing with the last-minute fallout caused by the Praetorian Guard was, of course, sothing I couldn't predict, and so I had to spend the last evening and most of the night dealing with it so that they wouldn't cast a shadow on today's dates. I was only half-successful, as I was left ntally tired by the affair. Still, it could've been worse.
As it turned out, while the group the Celestial agents raided weren't exactly assassin material, they were certainly up to no good, and after the combined forces of the Ordo Draconis and the School's senior Magi arrived and turned the whole place upside down, it turned out they belonged to a third party. Probably a portion of the Assembly, or at the very least a few conspiring Schools who weren't invited to the party. At least judging by how hard Lord Grandpa was trying to sweep the incident under the rug by insisting that dealing with this was his jurisdiction, but I digress.
All in all, they were a ragtag group of lower-rung Research Society mbers, stray hedge-Magi, and even so 'normal' rcenary-type people only in it for the paycheck. They set up shop near the School, and they were monitoring our daily activities. Now, while that wasn't particularly incriminating, as Jaakobah and Arnwald both pointed out, it could've been the preliminary step for an assassination attempt. Considering the modus operandi of both CIEL and the Brotherhood in the past, I had to defer to them, as they were as close to an expert on these matters as I could find on short notice.
Still, it was a troubling developnt. I expected sothing like this would happen after Lord Grandpa warned , because of all kinds of narrative reasons and whatnot, but I didn't expect that it would happen so soon, or that it would be so overt. I really had to tighten our security net in Timaeus… but later. At this mont, I had more important things to take care of. Such as the girl sitting by my side, and I started by planting a light kiss on the top of her head.
"Where are we going next?" Judy asked, sounding unusually llow. By all indications, my efforts to make this into a nice, morable date were paying dividends.
We started with a massage in the morning (no lewding), followed by a nice walk around the more scenic parts of the city, with the small Valentine's Day fair serving as our destination. It was a cute event held at a square near one of the shopping streets, and we had all the hallmarks: live music, lots of stalls selling baubles, morabilia, and street food. Of course, everything being grossly overpriced, but let's just say we paid a premium for the experience.
After walking around a lot, we concluded our trip with a light lunch at a traditional corner café on the aforentioned shopping street, and then I borrowed my in-laws' limo to ferry us to the cinema to watch the obligatory cheap horror movie about infinitely duplicating evil mis. It was tradition, and also good fun.
As for our next and final destination for the day, it was a bit of a surprise, so I…
"Is it going to be a surprise?" Judy asked, and I automatically nodded.
"I figured. Everything so far was too normal, so for this to be a proper date event, we need so kind of unexpected final twist. Considering the common tropes, I guess it must be—"
Before she could finish, I gently placed a finger on her lips and gave her a cheeky wink.
"Hush, Dormouse. Just enjoy the show."
"Fine," she relented unexpectedly fast, and when I tried to move my finger away, she planted a kiss on it with an overexaggerated smack of her lips. I quickly figured out what she wanted, so I tapped my finger against my cheek. "That's the wrong spot."
"Then I guess you have to show the good spot yourself," I teased her a bit, and that was pretty much all the encouragent she needed to crawl onto my lap and give a long kiss.
Luckily, the passenger area was separated from the driver's cabin, otherwise this might have been a bit embarrassing. In any case, after she had her fill, Judy finally separated from and licked her lips. Then, she slightly tilted her head to the side.
"When did you eat sothing spicy?"
"Must've been the fried crab from that street vendor," I guessed, and it was apparently a good enough explanation to her.
"I should have tried it out. Tastes delicious."
"I'm not sure the second-hand taste is the sa," I pondered, but then my girlfriend turned around on my lap and, after sliding down a little, rested the back of her head against my chest.
"So far, I give this date a nine out of ten."
"How very generous of you."
"How is Elly's date coming along?" she asked out of the blue, and after weathering the whiplash, I had to give it a mont of thought.
"Getting the main event together without her notice was tricky, but so long as it works out, everything should be fine."
"Good luck."
"Thanks."
After that, there was a lull in the conversation, the passenger compartnt filled with only the low buzz of the engine. It had a calming atmosphere, but it didn't seem to work on Judy, as she kept fidgeting on my lap and giving suggestive looks. By Judy-standards, as usual. As such, before she got so weird idea in her head that would've been highly inappropriate to act upon in a borrowed car, I blurted out the first thing on the tip of my tongue.
"You know, I was really worried all week that my plans would get leaked and ruin the surprise. Abram is about as bad with secrets as his daughter, and I was really hoping he wouldn't accidentally let the cat out of the bag before the big day."
"Only him?" My remark made Judy look at funny, and she pressed with, "Didn't you say you asked both Abram and Ese for help?"
"Ah, I sure did, but about different things. You'll see."
"… Chief? Should I start getting worried?"
"Why would you even say that? Don't you trust ?"
"I trust you, but the sa can't be said about the common sense of the Dracis parents."
"… Touché, but seriously, it's not going to be that big of a deal."
"You're jinxing it."
"No, I'm not. You're just being paranoid."
"The more you insist, the more likely that the Narrative will spite you."
"Didn't I already tell you that we don't talk about ta-stuff today?"
"If you want to stay silent, make ," she challenged , and so I was left with no other choice but to pull her over and kiss her again.
After what felt like minutes, our lips finally parted, and she suddenly hugged . For a mont I didn't know if I should hug her back, but then my hands stopped when she whispered into my ear.
"Chief. You know I'm a little… possessive, right?"
"I… would be lying if I said I didn't notice."
There was a beat of silence as she rested her chin on my shoulder and hugged even closer.
"I'm fine with our current relationship, together with Elly. I really am, but… when it's just the two of us like this, sotis I still want to have you all for myself. I know it's irrational, especially at this point, but I can't help it."
Now that I heard her out, I fully raised my hands and hugged her, and then lightly patted her back.
"It's not that weird, Dormouse. If anything, it's a miracle everything has been working out so well between us, and it's thanks to you being so tolerant. Elly too. I'm sure she must have the sa kind of thoughts every once in a while."
"No, she doesn't," Judy suddenly declared as she leaned back, so that she could look in the eye. "I'm serious. I have no idea what's going on in her head sotis. It's almost as if she prefers our polyfidelity to a monogamous relationship. She's weird."
"Hey. Don't call the princess weird. It's rude," I responded playfully and lightly bonked her on the top of her head. "She's just built different."
"Battle harem heroine different?"
"Here you go with the ta-talk again," I grumbled and rolled my eyes. "Do you want to shut you up again?"
"Later. My tongue is still numb," she responded flatly, as if what she said wasn't strange, and let out a shallow sigh. "But I'm serious, you know?"
"About what? The princess being peculiar, or you being the jealous type?"
"Both, Chief. Both." She paused and then hugged again. "You're lucky you're balancing this relationship right, otherwise I would've had no choice but to beco the yandere heroine."
"Please stop joking about that. It's disturbing."
"Yangire then?"
"I'm getting a little rusty with my terminology, but I'm about ninety percent sure that's even worse."
"In that case, how about a dorodere?"
"… Scratch that; I'm apparently really rusty. What even is that?"
"It's a character archetype that's acting sweet and loving on the outside, but when their love interest's back is turned, they sche to manipulate, crush, and even kill everyone that stands in their way so that they can have their love interest for themselves." She paused, and then innocently added. "Galatea already stole my spot as the robot girl archetype, but I think I would make a good dorodere."
"… Aaand it's ti to be silenced again," I declared, and leaned in for a kiss. She didn't run away, and after another minute of tongue-wrestling, I caught my breath and asked, "Haah… Just how many versions and sub-types of yandere characters are out there, anyway?"
"I stopped counting at forty-seven," she answered casually, and we would have likely continued the conversation, if not for the limo coming to a halt.
"Oh, look at that. We arrived."
Judy once again got off my lap and straightened her clothes before asking, "And where exactly are we?"
"Do you really think I would ruin the surprise at the very last second?"
I could hear my dear assistant grumble sothing under her breath, but her soft voice was overwheld by the hiss of the hydraulics-assisted door opening on our left when the chauffeur let us out. Since I was closer, I hopped out to the sidewalk and then helped Judy out of the car with my best gentlemanly act. We were in the middle of Timaeus's downtown district, and in front of a high-class beauty salon.
At first, Judy looked rather skeptical of the location, but when I offered a hand, she still took it, and I led her through the revolving glass doors. The inside of the place was about as posh as it would get, and it advertised itself as providing a 'total makeover', with big, bright neon letters hanging over the massive red marble receptionist's counter dominating the lobby.
The whole beauty parlour was just as lavishly decorated, without sparing any expenses on the decorations or materials, and it even had crystal chandeliers and vibrant red carpets leading to the back. However, despite it being situated in the heart of the city, the insides were fairly barren of clients, with only the receptionist idling behind the marble slab and a pair of won sitting on the rattan chairs nearby and chanically readying so beauty magazines. Was the place reserved for us, I wondered, or did it just see little movent because it catered to the richest clientele? Or maybe the place was just underdeveloped, in the Simulacrum sense, because nobody in the main cast was expected to co here? All of those were potential explanations, though my money was on the first one.
"This was a place Mom-in-law recomnded," I told Judy as I led her over to the reception desk. "I was told they provide hair care, facials, makeup services, do nails, and they even have designers and tailors of payroll to provide custom clothes in short order."
"I see…" Judy whispered, sounding and looking unusually timid. It was a rare sight all right, but not necessarily the response I was looking for.
"Mr. and Mrs. Dunning, I presu?" the receptionist lady, a fairly obviously placeholder, greeted us with perfectly perd hair and a stock pearly smile.
"Yes. I presu Ese already told you we were coming?"
"Indeed! We're happy to provide our service!" she said in an energetic yet at the sa ti sohow wooden voice. "Please, head to the back, and my colleagues will…"
While the receptionist lady was getting into her explanation, Judy tugged on my hand, drawing my attention back to her.
"Chief? What exactly am I supposed to do here?"
"Anything you'd like," I told her with a cheeky smile, but it only left her more confused. As such, before things could get sour, I raised a hand to stop the explanation still coming from our left. "A mont, please. We have sothing to discuss in private."
The receptionist blinked, and after a brief mont of the classic thousand-yard stare, she nodded with the exact sa smile. Once I got her acknowledgent, I pulled Judy to the side, out of earshot from both the receptionist and the ladies reading their magazines.
"I think an explanation is in order," I opened, and my dear assistant nodded at once.
"To put it mildly."
"Yes, yes. In retrospect, maybe I should've at least hinted at the plan after all. Hindsight is my mortal enemy, as usual." Judy didn't appreciate the way I was setting the mood, so I gave up and explained myself to her as directly as I could. "Listen, Dormouse. From pretty much the first ti we t on the rooftop on that fateful day, we talked about the various paradigms of the Simulacrum. One of them being that the more important you are in the nebulous Narrative's grand plot, the prettier and more unique you are."
"Yes. It was one of our first observations," she agreed, waiting to see where I was going with this.
"So, I've been trying to show how much you an to by referencing this." For emphasis, I reached out and brushed the large ribbon on the back of her head. "However, I want to take that one step further today."
"So you took to a beauty salon," she noted a tad flatly. "Isn't that the sa as telling I'm plain and I should change my image?"
"You see? This is exactly the problem we have!" I interjected and pointed at her. "You aren't plain. You are absolutely lovely, but you have a hard ti shining because of all the battle harem heroines and adjacent bishoujos surrounding us. Today, we're going to change that. Today, you're going to be the heroine. My heroine, to be exact."
For a mont, my girlfriend was taken aback, but then she narrowed her eyes and asked, "What does that make Elly?"
"She's also my heroine. I'm a big enough man for two," I told her while forcing a smug smirk onto my face, and she finally let out an amused, throaty sound and shook her head.
"Fine, let's go with that. What do you expect from then?"
"Nothing! That's the important part," I said as I stepped up to her and put an arm around her shoulder, and then waved my other arm vaguely in the direction of the actual business floor of the beauty parlour in the back. "This isn't about , it's about you. I want you to get in there, and do whatever you want! Be as flashy or subdued as you'd like! A different hair colour? Go for it! Want to try gothic lolita fashion? Be my guest! A punk-rocker aesthetic with a mohawk and neon green lipstick? I will laugh, but I'll still love you, so let loose! The important part is for you to feel good in your own skin. If other people will finally also realize how gosh darn cute you are in the process, all the better."
"You're really trying to sell on this…" Judy grumbled, but as much as she tried to hide it, I could see that she was getting a bit interested in the idea. "So you're saying I can do whatever I want. Do you think they can help give a yandere-makeover?"
"… Dormouse, I hate to burst your bubble, but there's no such thing as yandere-fashion?"
"Really? Then I have no choice but to be a trailblazer myself."
"Can you just please drop the whole yandere thing? Pretty please?"
She gave a sideways look, but after a long beat, her lips bent into an actual, honest-to-goodness smile, and she rose to her tip-toes to plant a peck on my cheek.
"But only because you asked nicely," she told , the smile gone from her face already like it was never there, and then she peeked at the receptionist lady, still silently waiting for us. "Since you went through the trouble, I'll give this a try."
"Neat! Let's get going th—" I wanted to walk back to the counter, but she put a hand on my chest to stop . "What?"
"You have another date to catch, don't you? Go on ahead, I'll manage alone."
"… Are you sure?" I asked, her previous, timid expression still fresh in my mind. "I still have about an hour until the ti we agreed upon with the princess."
"It's fine," she declared and gestured for to lean closer. When I did, she whispered directly into my ear. "I'm going to surprise you in the evening, so no peeping."
And just like that, before I could even respond, I got another peck on my other cheek, and she walked over to the receptionist. Left in a bit of a daze, I couldn't help but chuckle, but then my brows descended into a frown a second later, and I quickly called after my girlfriend, already headed to the back.
"Dormouse? You know that I was only joking about the mohawk, right?"
Instead of an answer, my lovely assistant stuck out her tongue, and disappeared behind the divider separating the storefront and the lobby from the actual work floor, leaving just a tiiiny bit worried in the process…
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