There was always sothing.
As far as generic statents went, that was about as banal as it could get, but it wasn't wrong. Neither literally nor figuratively. Case in point, just when I thought that I had finally settled down a bit, the universe decided to throw yet another curveball at . The worst part, though? I couldn't even bla this one on tropes or Id- or whatever, because this whole situation was long overdue.
The opulent interior of the Dracis mansion was pretty much the sa as usual. I could still rember the ti when it felt gaudy and even a bit oppressive at tis, but I had long since gotten used to the place. Yet, the atmosphere in the annex was perceptibly stifling this morning. Unlike the hustle and bustle of the main building, courtesy of much of the Draconic Federation's governnt apparatus still being housed there, this part of the estate was almost eerily quiet.
The family's dedicated house servant corps was running around in dead silence, despite doing their most authentic headless-chicken impression, and while I didn't look into it closely enough to make sure, I could've sworn the whole wing got isolated with privacy magic. Not to keep whatever was discussed between the walls in, but to keep the noise of the city out. If I was right, then that was bloody excessive; we didn't even bother to do that when the Draconic Council was holding a session.
And we were currently in said annex, leisurely walking down the familiar hallways of the first floor in equally familiar company.
"Mister von Fraenir…"
"Please, Child. You may call by my na in private," the dapper butler noted with a disturbingly affectionate smile, and my dear assistant nodded in acknowledgent.
"What can we expect?"
The incognito dragon paused for a mont and tapped a white-gloved finger on his chin.
"Hm? What exactly are you expecting?"
Seeing that he was being evasive, Judy imdiately turned to the next person in line.
"linda?"
The braided chambermaid glanced over, then plainly stated, "Try to avoid eye contact, but if it's unavoidable, make sure you don't back down. They can sll your fear."
Sebastian's head snapped to the right to face linda, his brows already scrunched up into a disapproving frown.
"You are being disrespectful to your elders."
"My allegiance is to the next generation," she argued back fearlessly, then subsequently added, "Also, they can't hear us out here."
Oh, okay. So my hunch about the reversed privacy spells was probably on the money. More importantly, though, Judy spoke up again, just before the old butler could get a word in.
"Mister Sebastian. Are you sure you don't have any advice…" Her voice trailed off, eyes locked on . "… to the Chief, specifically."
"Would he listen, even if I had any wisdom to share?"
His question made the girl at my side think hard and long, ultimately resulting in a mildly exasperated, "Point taken."
"Hey. I'm right here, you know?" I objected, to no avail, though it did get a giggle out of Elly walking on my other side.
"If I had to offer just one pearl of wisdom…" the old man mused, fingers once again pinching his chin, and after a long beat, he turned on his heel to face , stopping our procession in the process. "Don't provoke them, don't cede control of the conversation, and whatever you do, don't gamble with them. Do you hear , my boy? No matter what, never accept a bet or wager of any kind. Once you do, you cannot escape their grasp, and you will be praying for the sweet release of death."
"Oh, stop it!" the princess burst out and glared at her… actually, I never figured out just how far removed they were from each other.
I can distinctly rember him ntioning that he t his third wife in the late nineteenth century. Even after taking the longer lifespans of Draconians into account, that was still at least four generations ago, which probably made him Elly's great-great grandfather. Anyhow, where were we?
Ah, right. So, Elly glared at her (probably) great-great grandfather with a pout and declared, "You two are being an! Stop teasing Leo and Judy."
"We aren't teasing, only sharing our honest advice," linda argued, but it only made my princess more peevish, and she decided to just grab my arm and pull along.
"Ignore them," she said with a huff, and waited for Judy to catch up to us before adding, "They're actually really nice, so you don't have to worry about a thing."
I muttered a skeptical, "If you say so," and glanced over my shoulder, and the look of genuine concern and pity on the old butler's face made wonder if this was a bad idea after all.
Not that there was anything I could do about it at this stage, short of an ergency retreat via Phasing away, but that would give off a really bad impression and make any future attempts at this all the more awkward and counter-productive.
It didn't take long for linda and Sebastian to catch up to us, but by then, we were already standing in front of a big fancy door, so there was nothing much else to say. Elly seed eager to get inside, but the old butler beat her to the punch by grabbing the doorknob first. He didn't turn it just yet, but sent one last glance that said, 'I wasn't kidding before. Brace yourself.'
I still wasn't entirely sure if he was serious or just pulling my leg, but as a habitual pessimist, I prepared myself to expect the worst, just on principle. As the door opened, I could make out multiple voices on the other side, but they all fell silent when Sebastian took the lead and walked in, all prim and proper and butler-like.
"Ladies," he started, then held the tension for a bit before extending his arm towards us. "Allow to announce Leonard Dunning and Judy Sennoma, the—"
"Grannies!"
He was cut off by the princess rushing forth, and the old dragon let out a sigh that I could translate to 'I should've expected this much'. In any case, while that was happening, I quickly inspected the room.
It was yet another of the many typical parlours of the mansion. A high, vaulted ceiling, lots of hardwood wall panelling and gold-leafed highlights. Big windows on the left, large portraits lining the walls on the right, presumably depicting the less illustrious forebears of the family whose pictures couldn't fit in the parlour of the main building's ground floor.
Most importantly though, in the middle of the room, sitting on top of a very expensive-looking Persian carpet, was a table surrounded by seven chairs, four already occupied. On them, four sour-faced won dressed in colour-coded fineries. It was hard to tell their ages at a glance, due to Draconian physiology, but I was getting better at the process due to sheer exposure through my regular dealings with the Draconic Federation's many mbers. Based on my gut feelings, I'd have said that they looked to be ranging from mid-thirties to early forties, which ant they were at least in their late sixties to mid-seventies.
Of course, I didn't co into this situation completely unprepared, so while I had never seen them in person, I could quickly attach a na to each of the won in here. Let's go from left to right, shall we?
First off, there was a pale redhead with a tidy French bob hairdo wearing a light green and white dress. Olivette Dracis, the fourth wife of Elly's late grandfather; originally from a small Western European bloodline, no children. Then there was the thin olive-skinned woman with wavy raven black hair streaked with strands of white, wearing a yellow dress with floral embroidery. That was Maiara Dracis, the second wife from the Lotan family, with two daughters to her na.
Next was Inga Dracis, the esteed first wife and Abram's mother, making her Elly's actual blood-related grandma. A severe-looking blonde woman with ringlets that put the princess to sha, wearing a subdued light blue dress. Originally from the Lohikäär family, and arguably the chief reason they had such a close relationship with the Dracises. Last, but not least, was the slightly chubby woman on the right, the third wife in a red dress. That's Terza Dracis, from a branch of the Albion family, and the mother of Elly's only uncle, a man I had never t before but heard quite a bit about from Abram.
They were all imposing won in their own right, but there was one thing I hadn't ntioned before: the hats. Despite being indoors, each and every one of them was wearing fancy, wide-rimd hats that matched the rest of their outfit, and they were big. As in, if I didn't know better, I would've thought I accidentally stumbled upon an especially stylish witches' coven.
I'm not going to lie, I was pleasantly surprised by how warmly they welcod Elly, giving her hugs one at a ti with big smiles and doting eyes. Based on so of the stray comnts I've heard from Mom-in-law, about the grandmas not being nearly as genial as Abram would've liked to imply, I was half-expecting so drama right off the bat. From where I was standing, they looked fairly harmonious. It seed that adoring their collective granddaughter was one of those things they could all agree upon.
"Eleanor, dear. You've grown again since the last ti I've seen you!" the olive-skinned grandma cooed and lightly pinched my girlfriend's cheek.
"Tee-hee!"
"Are you still playing tennis these days?" the chubby third wife inquired, and the princess's smile montarily faltered.
"Um… We were rather busy lately, so I missed the tournant season."
"Aw, don't be sad, dear," the fourth wife on the left reached out to pat her on the back. "There's always next year! Be positive!"
"Y-Yes!"
It was at this point that the blonde woman in the middle, who couldn't deny her resemblance to Elly even if she tried (though it might've been just the ringlets), let out a shallow sigh.
"Isn't saying you were 'busy' a bit too much of an omission?" she asked in a low, dignified voice, followed by another sigh. "Fighting an Arch-mage in the city? Sneaking away into the Abyss of all places, and battling one of their Lords? What were you thinking?"
"Ah, but it all worked out," the princess argued back, and after locking gazes for a second, the old woman let out a third sigh.
" I swear, Sabas's blood is too thick in you."
Sabas Dracis was, incidentally, Elly's grandpa, and the previous patriarch of the Dracis Family before Abram took over once he died under… I would've liked to say 'mysterious circumstances', but the problem was that I had no idea how he died.
Putting aside the Doylist idea of 'it just wasn't relevant, so the Simulacrum never generated a backstory for it' aside for the mont, I had not one but two Watsonian explanations. The first option was the classic occupational (or rather, genealogical) hazard of Draconians and getting killed by so Knights. However, I knew from Dad-in-law's many stories that his old man was a bit of a dare-devil adventurer type, so it was just as likely that he tried to wrestle one too many narwhals and ended up on the losing end of the equation.
It was reasonable to think that the incident would be swept under the rug, either because it would be politically inconvenient (due to the Knights now being the core of the Ordo Draconis) or because it would be rather embarrassing (the figurehead of the Western Draconians dying on an over-the-top hunting adventure would hardly inspire confidence in their competence).
Whatever the case was, the way she referred to him with so barbs in her tone confird the notion I got from Ese's description of the grandmothers. More importantly though, while they were talking affectionately on the surface, I couldn't help but notice that they were sneakily glancing my way now and then, as if gauging my reactions. Not that there were any, because for the mont I saw no reason to insert myself between Elly and her family.
It was only when Sebastian and linda walked over to the table and pulled out the free chairs, clearly urging us to take seats, that Judy and I started to move.
"Pleased to et you," I started with a neutral greeting. "Sebastian already introduced , but just to be thorough: I'm Leonard S. Dunning."
"And I'm Judy Sennoma," my other girlfriend chid in while sticking close to . However, their attention was solely on for the mont, and the second wife let out a low chuckle.
"Ah, so you call von Fraenir by na?" she asked and then turned to the old man. "It's so hard to get used to your shifting identities, dear ancestor. To , you will always remain Wilhelm von Fraenir."
"And to , you shall always be little Maiara, my grandson's first friend."
"Oh, don't say that! You're making feel old!" the brown woman objected with over-exaggerated dramatics, making the other grandmas around the table smile and chuckle. At least on the surface, but their eyes remained fixed on , like a flight of hawks waiting for their prey to make a move.
On a side note, if Elly's grandpa was indeed Sebastian's grandson, then that would confirm my four-generations-removed hypothesis, but it was too early to jump the gun, considering he had also occasionally referred to the princess as her granddaughter. I suppose after living long enough, adding all the grand-grand-grands to your descendants just got tireso.
But back to the flock of taphorical birds of prey eyeing from under their big hats. After a long beat, the first wife (and by the looks of it, the de facto leader of the group, if only for the mont) smiled at the old butler and politely asked, "Sebastian? May we have a private talk with our new grandchildren, please?"
As if waiting for that, linda imdiately turned on her heel and declared, "I'll prepare the tea and the macarons."
Elly whispered an elated, "Yes! Macarons!" on my left, while Judy only acknowledged her with a soft hum.
The incognito dragon looked a bit conflicted at first, only to pinch the bridge of his nose and say, "Take it easy," before leaving, and while the old ladies looked oddly pleased by his words, I was pretty sure it was ant for .
As soon as they left the parlour, a heavy silence descended on the room. Yep, that settled it; there really was an inside-out privacy spell in effect, and nothing of the outside world was leaking in.
"So, Leonard S. Dunning," Inga Dracis addressed directly and straightened her back, making her ringlets shake and cascade around her shoulders. "You have made quite a na for yourself, haven't you?"
"Not by design. Or choice, for that matter," I told her, trying to sound humble.
"If you say so," Maiara, the second wife, uttered flatly, and the others humd along in agreent, as if she just said sothing witty.
"Very impressive," the fourth wife of the far left chid in. "You have accomplished much at such a young age."
"Leo's cool, right?" Elly interjected, seemingly throwing her grandmothers off whatever track they were following, and Inga in the middle lightly cleared her throat.
"Indeed, indeed. He's definitely what our Eastern brethren would consider a 'young hero'."
"Yes,"/"Exactly," Olivette and Terza Dracis backed her up imdiately, only for the fourth mber of the group to thoughtfully place her forefinger on her lower lip (maybe Elly got the habit from her?).
"But isn't there also a saying? Sothing about how even heroes have a weakness to the charms of a beautiful girl."
"It's a Chinese idiom," Judy suddenly interjected, startling the grandma quartet. "It's from Romance of the Three Kingdoms."
"Y-Yes, we knew that," Maiara Dracis sputtered in a hurry. "But it's not the point."
"Quite!" Inga Dracis declared in the centre and made a vague gesture towards Judy. "As we can see, you have already exemplified the saying."
That was probably ant to be provocative, and it did make my dear assistant's eyes open wide (or at least marginally wider) before turning to with a thrilled (by her standards) voice.
"Chief. They just implied I'm a beautiful girl."
For a mont or five, I had no idea how to respond to that, and only managed to squeeze out a confounded, "Of course you are. Was that ever in question?"
"It absolutely was," she declared firmly, but still sounded excited. "But this is the first ti I've received confirmation from a third party."
"Whaaat?" Elly blurted out, leaning over to my other girlfriend. "But I always tell you you're pretty!"
"You aren't a third party," Judy pointed out in turn, earning her an 'Oh, right,' from the princess.
She quickly switched gears though, and poked in the shoulder next with a familiar, exceedingly cute smug little smirk on her lips.
"But wait a minute! Judy's not the only pretty girl here! Are you weak to my charms, too?"
I responded with a deadpan, "Obviously," earning a tinkling giggle.
"Hehe! Then take this!"
Without warning, she bent her fingers to form a heart shape and bead at through the hole. I didn't see that coming, and before I could respond in earnest, it was Judy's turn to lean over and say, "Ellymon hit Chiefmon with Charm. It was super-effective."
"You're mixing your franchises," I told her with a poke on the forehead, then turned to the stumped grandmas. "Sorry, we just do this kind of thing sotis. You were saying…?"
"Ah, yes…" The lady with the ringlets in the middle cleared her throat and pointed at . "Leonard S. Dunning."
"Yes?"
"Just because we retired, you shouldn't think we haven't kept an eye on you."
"Our network of informants is vast and unfathomable," the third wife declared with undeserved gravitas, and then, as if waiting for this cue, all four of them reached under the table and took out identical-looking thick-rimd glasses.
"Today, we shall judge your character, and the company you keep," the fourth wife declared the mont she placed the glasses on her nose and, after reaching under the table again, she started distributing printed docunts to the other grandmas.
"First and foremost, there is Judy Sennoma," Inga Dracis proclaid in the middle. They all looked at my dear assistant in unison, and a long beat later she stated, "You appear to have a good relationship with my granddaughter."
"I concur, based on the correspondence I received," the second wife noted and pushed the glasses up the bridge of her nose. "Although I have to say I find the degree of closeness sowhat inappropriate."
"We live in different tis now," the third wife noted, and the first also concurred.
"Indeed. According to my research, the children these days call this a 'polycute'."
"Polycule," Judy corrected her. "Also known as a 'throuple'."
Elly stifled a giggle on my other side, and when I glanced over, she muttered, "I-It's a funny word."
"Yes, quite," Inga Dracis spoke flatly, then swept her gaze over the others. "Do we approve?"
"I approve,"/" too!" the third and fourth wives spoke up at once, and after so grumbling, even Maiara Dracis uttered, "They have my approval."
"Very well. The easy part is out of the way," the woman in the middle declared and shuffled her notes. "Next, there's the matter of Neige Inanna-Dunning."
I blurted out a flat, "What?" and when I got no answer, I tried again with, "What does my sister have to do with anything?"
"Non-blood-related sister," the second wife pointed out. "A common cop-out and way to circumvent limitations."
"We do not approve of such things," said the third wife with a loud scoff. "Denied."
The others echoed her, and so Inga Dracis nodded and glared at , "The decision is unanimous. Denied." Then, before I could gather my wits, she added, "Tajana Sukkal."
"Another Abyssal Seducer," the fourth wife noted with audible distaste. "Living under the sa roof is already a scandal in the waiting, and she's a liability. Denied."
"What exactly are you denying here?" I asked, only to be summarily ignored.
"Alia Rhearn," ca the next na, and this ti I responded right away.
"You know she's dating my Celestial aide, right?"
"Such concerns never stopped Sabas," the first wife noted and violently poked her finger against her docunt. "She's also been recently outed as an artificial creation of the Magi, making her infertile."
"That is a factor in her favor, isn't it?" the third wife asked absently, and the rest nodded. "Still, while I understand we're currently at peace with the Wingless Ones, accepting one of them into the main family is too much. Denied."
"I agree. Denied," the fourth wife spoke up, and they all nodded in unison.
"Moving along," Inga Dracis muttered while shuffling her papers, and she poked the top page again. "Xiao Feilong."
"… She's literally a child," I pointed out, and it gave them a mont of pause.
"He's not wrong about that," the second wife noted, only for the first to squint at her.
"Oh, quit it, Maiara. You were about the sa age when you started seducing Sabas."
"I did no such thing!" she denied vehently, glaring at her fellow grandmother. "We just played together!"
"Suuure…" Inga shook her head and switched direction, saying, "Incorporating her into the main bloodline would be beneficial in later generations, but it would also provide additional leverage for our Eastern cousins. Still, the pros and the cons seem to be fairly balanced."
"Provisionally approved?" the fourth wife proposed, and after so thinking, they all agreed.
"You've got to be bloody kidding …"
"Now, as for the matter of Rinne Feilong, she's—"
"She just got married to Naoren the other day!" I interjected with more than token indignation, and it only made the four grandmas look at like I was the weird one.
"Hardly an obstacle, as we have found out," the redhead wife noted with audible annoyance, and… Jesus Tapdancing Christ! Just how bad did Elly's granddad get?!
"Pst? Chief?"
I would've said more, but Judy was poking my leg under the table, so I turned to her to see what she wanted.
"Yes, Dormouse?"
"Is this how my anti-harem counterasures look from the outside?"
"Erm… It's not this bad."
In fact, this discussion reminded more of the four creepy amigos from class than anything else, but since my answer wasn't decisive enough, it made Judy hang her head and mutter, "I think I need to self-reflect."
anwhile, the door opened again, and Elly exclaid, "Macarons!" As for , I used the montary distraction to loudly clear my throat and flash a harmless smile at the granny quartet.
"Ladies? Can we, maybe, not do this? How about we discuss the recent events over a ga of cards instead?"
I threw the bait, but the fish didn't bite.
"Not yet. This is important," the fourth wife declared.
"Indeed," the first agreed with added solemnity, and then said, "But worry not. Your ti to Canasta will co sooner than you could ever imagine. But first…" She waved her docunts again. "According to the reports, there's another married woman on the loose. A Mrs Applebottom, I believe?"
"What a vulgar na! Denied!"
"Denied, denied!"
…
Oh, boy. This is going to be a looong day, isn't it?
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