The wind at night was not as searing as it had been during the day, gently brushing past, bringing a trace of coolness, just like Ao Qi’s unceasing murmurs.
"Thankfully, I had everyone leave," Feng Yun thought.
If Ao Qi had said all this in front of so many people, it would probably have been difficult to settle things down.
"Xiaoqi, lift your head and look at ..."
Ao Qi raised his head, tears swirling in his eyes.
Feng Yun smiled slightly, her eyes that had seen two lifetis’ worth of vicissitudes as if they could understand everything in the world. What they conveyed was not the anger of being offended, nor the shyness of a woman being confessed to by a man, but rather the calmness forged by years and storms, and the wisdom and comprehension that only a mature woman possessed.
After a long silence, when Ao Qi had stopped crying, she bent down and handed him a handkerchief.
"Feeling any better?"
Her voice was gentle and clear.
It was like a beam of light piercing through all pretense, leaving Ao Qi feeling deeply ashad.
"Lady, don’t you despise or look down on ?"
Feng Yun chuckled softly, "No, I don’t. There is nothing wrong with liking soone. I too had my tis of youthful rage and foolish infatuation, losing composure in front of others. Back then, the young man I liked didn’t like back. All that contradiction and struggle felt like inescapable fetters; the more I liked him, the more unworthy I felt... I understand it all, Xiaoqi. I understand you, and I won’t look down on you, much less despise you for it."
Ao Qi slowly lifted his chin, looking at her in astonishnt.
"It’s nothing to be ashad of, nor is it disgraceful."
Feng Yun’s gaze was sowhat absent, her lips curling into a faint smile.
"That year, in that moss-covered alley in Tai City, I waited foolishly just like you, hoping to catch another glimpse of Master Xiao San, bathed in moonlight as he rode back, not needing his response..."
The dreamlike past, now spoken of, stirred no tumult in her heart.
She began to smile more broadly, "You see, as ti passed, I grew up, and he has long been forgotten."
"He was a fool to have lost you," Ao Qi’s voice was tight, husky with emotion.
He shook his head, trying to sober up a bit and looked at Feng Yun for a mont, a wordless, bitter smile on his lips.
"I drank too much..."
"I know," Feng Yun said with a smile, looking at him. "Are you feeling a little better now?"
Ao Qi nodded deeply, "Thank you."
"You’re welco," Feng Yun extended her hand to help him up from the ground, her expression calm as if nothing had happened.
"Get up, you’re tired today. Go back to your room and sleep. Aren’t you supposed to take His Majesty fishing tomorrow? You can’t disappoint him."
Ao Qi gazed at her, feeling a rush of warmth.
The sumr breeze, slipping through the thin fabric of the clothing, was like ants burrowing into the heart, and the post-drunk dry heat left his body as hot as a copper furnace, feeling like he might explode if he didn’t do sothing.
"Lady..."
He called out gently.
Feng Yun glanced over, ready to reply, when suddenly a pair of warm hands ca around, lightly encircling her.
In a half-kneeling posture, the young man’s presence wrapped around her with a faint fragrance of osmanthus, instantly enveloping her.
Feng Yun remained motionless, her eyes locked with his dark ones, seeing weariness, pain, and a lost, helpless vacancy.
"Don’t move."
Ao Qi’s voice was tight, so husky as to be unrecognizable.
"I just want to hold you. Just for a mont."
He had wanted to do this for so long...
Even though he knew he shouldn’t, he couldn’t control himself.
He embraced her with a sense of desperation, yet his touch was feather-light.
Feng Yun’s delicate body finally ca into his arms, filled with an indescribable sense of contentnt that filled his longstanding longing, but he made no further moves, and could not bring himself to hold her tightly.
"You hate , resent , I’m despicable," he confessed.
Feng Yun smiled, gently pushing on his arm, like an elder chastising a naïve younger one.
Tolerant and gentle.
"Okay, go back to your room now..."
Ao Qi looked down at her, his eyes burning.
"The day after tomorrow I’ll leave, and who knows when I’ll see you again. I want to talk to you..."
"Xiaoqi," Feng Yun beca serious, "I regard you as a brother, and that is why I can tolerate your boldness. You must know, in my heart, you are the sa as Aozai..."
"I am not Aozai," Ao Qi gazed at her intensely, his eyes filled with deep affection.
Aozai could still stay with her every day.
And what about him?
Ao Qi closed his eyes slightly, shook his head, and held her more tightly, as if to freeze ti in that mont.
It was the drunkenness that slowed his consciousness, also halting his actions.
He held Feng Yun in his arms, with gentleness as if embracing an invaluable treasure, murmuring distractedly, not letting go even as the noise outside and the approaching footsteps grew closer.
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