I stared at Ben-sama, still sitting on his lap, with my eyes wide and sparkling as if I was looking at the god of gods. "Ben-sama... Who are you?"
"Eh?! What kind of question is that?!" He got flustered, waving his hands. "Is it a riddle or sothing? Uhm, uh... I am a guy, uhm, a man—I an—from the... Uh..."
"Pfft! Ahahaha! You are so silly, Ben-sama!" I burst out laughing at his disorientation; the way he got so serious trying to answer my rhetorical question. But then he pouted and snapped his head away, like a humiliated princess.
"Thank you, Ben-sama," I turned to face him fully and hugged him tight, with my face buried in his chest. "Just like this... you beca the most important person in my life..."
Since then, I would sneak around with him, hiding to do my thing; then I would recomnd books and scripts to him from my thousands of years of collection.
I also spend a while begging him to write that Cinderella story for , but he cried "copyright infringent" and "plagiarism" every ti, making whine without end.
We would go to gardens together and sll flowers, being silly and being ourselves. When we were together, there were no masks.
There were no performances, but only that pleasant bliss at finding soone who loved what you love, and enjoyed watching you preach endlessly about it.
For...
For about a good twelve thousand years, that was the first ti I laughed and spoke as Midori. Not that fabrication I had made.
It overfilled my heart with warmth and joy, so it hurt that I was suddenly shy to tell him how I felt...
........
....
...
Leaving Aoi alone to sulk, I had dragged Ben-sama to watch a glowing garden, one where the flowers twinkled in the dark. The garden was tucked behind a low stone wall, hidden from the main festival paths.
Moonlight filtered through the canopy, but the real light ca from within: pale blue blossoms that fluttered softly like heartbeats, violet lilies that shimred like lted starlight, golden vines that curled and glowed in slow, living patterns. The air slled of night-blooming jasmine and damp earth.
Benjamin’s eyes widened like a child’s the mont he saw them, his mouth slightly parting open as he stepped forward, reaching out to brush a fingertip against a glowing petal that shimred under his touch.
I watched him from behind, my heart pounding within .
I had decided.
Before he went away forever, I would tell him that he was literally the best thing that had ever happened to .
He at least should know that... right?
***
Looking at him one more ti, I suddenly felt a churning in my stomach... I knew exactly what it was: nervousness and shyness. All of a sudden.
I, who used to get drunk and nipple-flash diplomatic visitors without a second thought, was now too flustered to say her feelings out loud.
But I forced confidence, squaring my shoulders, with my lips pressed into a firm line as I turned to him again.
"Hm? Sothing wrong?"
"N-No..."
...Yet the mont I t his bright blue eyes, that innocent smile, the way he leaned forward with genuine interest in what I loved... the churning started again, twisting even harder, fuck!
Whatever, I’ll just do it!
I reached out and turned his head swiftly but gently, kissing his lips; a brief, impulsive press that made him flustered too.
Good! Now we’re even.
"H-Huh? You scared ," he whispered, voice low so as not to disturb the silence of the scene, with all the other people quietly watching the glowing plants and flowers.
But thank goodness; seeing him get so flustered over a re kiss— which we’d shared countless tis already—finally made realize how silly it was to feel nervous over saying my feelings.
But as I opened my mouth to speak... it fucking hitched again.
Gah! I couldn’t! I was too ashad and frightened.
I’m sure Ben-sama l... loves too, but we’ve never really said it to each other. So it feels weird now.
I grabbed his hand and pulled him deeper into the garden where there were fewer people,
The deeper paths were quieter, lined with glowing vines that swayed softly like gentle tempos, the violet lilies casting faint purple light on our faces.
The air slled of soft roses and wet earth from watering, and the festival’s distant music further reduced to a faint buzz in the background.
There were fewer eyes here. And it was dimr than the other places.
I had brought him here in hopes that perhaps the people were the problem?
But the answer was a Big No. It wasn’t people at all.
"I... I w-wanted... I whahntedsh...!" I bit my tongue.
And Ben-sama only watched , tilting his head occasionally, his blue eyes patient and curious, wondering what it was I had to say.
He had taught that I wasn’t ordinary. He had told that to him, I was an incredibly extraordinary existence.
Apparently, being over twelve thousand years old, being half-spirit, and having beast features counted as sothing amazing in his forr world.
But besides that, he said my love for books and nature contrasted well with my hedonistic persona. And THAT was likewise awe-inspiring.
Rembering his words to now gave strength. I walked closer to him, until our lips nearly touched each other, our breaths mingling in the cool night air.
"Ben-sama!" I called him, as my voice cracked slightly.
"Huh! Uh, y-yes?" He fidgeted at my sudden call and proximity, a faint blush surfacing on his face.
"Uhm, I know you know of my depraved mask and my true self..." I began, looking away from his expecting eyes, as my heart pounded so hard I thought it might crack my ribs. "So there is sothing I want to tell you now, but I don’t know which persona can do it better. The silent girl wants to say it, but she’s shy. And the hedonist also wants to say it, but can’t quite defy the silent girl... What should I do, Ben-sama?"
Ah... I’m so disappointed in myself...
I couldn’t do it after all without asking for his help again.
I began to feel the sting of tears welling up my eyes, blurring the visage of glowing flowers around us, before he spoke:
"Sigh! So you’re just shy, that is?" He held his chest in a dramatic, but gentle, gesture. "You really scared there... You know, you were acting like those girls in the movies who end up saying they’re pregnant or sothing like that! Ahaha!"
Pregnant...
I have never considered... getting pregnant before.
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