Part 1
The sunlight of the sumr penetrated through the gaps of the thick window curtains.
To avoid the sunlight, I buried my head in the blanket to enjoy the warmth. Just then, there was a violent knocking on the door.
"Kazuma, how much longer are you going to sleep? Are you dressed? You're not doing anything weird, right? You aren't, right? I'm coming in! … Why's it so cold?"
Aqua, who was in high spirits early in the morning, entered the room and cried out.
My head erged from the blanket.
"Hey, stop shouting in the morning. Close the door or the cold air will escape."
"I keep saying every ti– It's noon already. And why is the room so cold? Is the Winter Shogun in your closet? Our house already has Chomusuke and Emperor Zell. We don't need another pet, okay?"
"Why would I keep such a dangerous thing as a pet? Look at the corners of the room. There are buckets in every corner, right? There's ice inside them."
Aqua was probably intrigued by my words. She looked inside the container.
"Where did you get ice in the hot sumr? I want so ice to help sleep at night too."
"Rember when Wiz said that she bought a lot of high grade manatite? I had an idea. Using the power of money, I bought the manatite cheaply in bulk, then used Freeze to create a lot of ice. This makes the room really cool even in the sumr so I can daydream under my blanket. There are few things more enjoyable than this."
Aqua looked at under the blanket with envy and said.
"Kazuma, your ability to waste money and magic's unsurpassed… Say, tonight will probably be hot too. Can you make so ice for as well?"
"Sure, but why are you here now? Aren't you going to the Axis Cult Church today?"
Yesterday, Aqua forcefully enlisted Chris for help and declared that she'd gather her worshippers in the Axis Cult Church today, but…
"Kazuma's never been loved, so you probably don't know this feeling. But isn't it a bit embarrassing to ask my worshippers to host a celebration to praise myself? So I hope that soone will accompany and insinuate them to host the event."
Aqua said as she placed her hands into a bucket and enjoyed the ice.
"You dare to say that to , who's been popular among single female adventurers and receptionists after I made a ton of money? You never cared about the mood and did whatever you pleased, so why are you so bothered about it now? I already said that I won't be helping yesterday. I don't want to have anything to do with Axis cultists. You should ask gumin or Darkness instead."
"I begged Darkness many tis, but she says she's busy with lordship duties. gumin says she's eting soone today, so she can't play with ."
Aqua said as she brought the ice bucket over to …
"Hey, what are you doing with that? I won't go. The weather's too hot to be running around outside today. S-Stop it! What are you doing to my blanket? I just dried it in the sun, don't wet it! I won't forgive you if you wet… Fine, I'll go, so put down that bucket!"
– It was a small building in the suburbs of Axel.
"Here we are. It looks like a very small church, but this accentuates the humility of the Axis cultists. It feels very nice."
"This church feels like it'll collapse if the wind blows too hard."
Aqua and I arrived at this city's Axis Cult Church.
By the way, this was the first ti I ca here despite living in this city for so long.
"What's the person in charge of this church like? He isn't soone with an intense personality, right? We've got too many people with awfully strong personalities. I'm leaving if it turns out to be so weirdo."
"Everyone in the Axis Cult is a good person, so don't worry. I've never t the person in charge of the church in this town, but It seems a new person has recently taken up the post…"
Aqua said and placed her hands on the door of the church…
"See. No problem, right? Verify it… Seriously, don't make deal with these kinds of goods again."
Hearing the man's voice from inside, she stopped her hand.
These kinds of goods?
"… Certainly, I was right to look you up. This are definitely first grade goods. Anyway, there's nothing to worry about. There isn't any danger once I got used to it. It's only for my personal enjoynt, after all."
Hearing the woman's response, I shared a look with Aqua.
"It's best that way. Even so, don't drown yourself in pleasure and overdo it. It's caused deaths every year, so be careful."
This was a serious matter.
To think that the Axis Cult would be involved with banned items…!
Why doesn't this feel odd?
"Hey Aqua. Let's go to the police station."
"W-Wait! My children aren't criminals! This must be a misunderstanding! Don't jump to conclusions before we find out what's happening!"
"Your cultists' provocation and sexual harassnt of Eris cultists are already cris."
It wasn't wise to remain here.
If the other party discovered that we overheard the conversation, they might attempt to silence us.
As I was about to leave with the unwilling Aqua…
"Seriously. You never change. Do you really like this white powder so much?"
– That was gumin's voice.
Aqua and I were shocked upon hearing the voice of soone familiar.
Why's gumin in this place?
She just said white powder?
No. Wait. If gumin was involved in this dirty transaction, that ant…
"Is this really that good? I rembered you recomnded it to before. I want to try it out too."
Hey, hey!
"Little girl. This looks like ordinary white powder, but if you add hot water…"
Hey, wait, stop!
The one speaking was definitely gumin, right?
It can't be soone else with a similar voice, right?
As Aqua and I were hesitating whether to rush in or not, we heard a deciding statent.
"In that case, why don't you try it? Don't worry, gumin. Everyone's a little afraid at first, but after you try it, you'll be addicted…"
I kicked down the door and rushed in.
Part 2
"– This is it, you evil cultists!! What are you doing to my companion? Do you have a death wish?!"
Inside the building, a man and a woman stared in surprise as I kicked down the door.
And–
"K-Kazuma? Why are you here…? Even Aqua's…!"
Standing between the two of them, gumin was shocked.
"Who cares why! Stop right there, criminal scum! I'm a famous adventurer in this city. If you resist, don't bla if you get hurt!!"
Hearing my threat, that woman…
Shivered with the white powder in her hands. She looked like a priestess of the Axis Cult.
"W-Wait! Although this is a banned item, it's for my personal use only…"
"Who'd believe that nonsense! You were just trying to entice my companion! Stop joking. How are you going to compensate if my companion becos even weirder after using that thing?! I'll use Tinder and burn those damn things away!"
As I raised my right hand, that priestess hurriedly held that powder to her chest.
At this ti, Aqua rushed past .
"God Blow!!"
She attacked the confused man with her fist.
Aqua's fist accurately hit his belly and the man collapsed without a word.
"Wait! What are you two doing? Why'd you suddenly barge in?"
I ignored the confused gumin and clenched my fist at the priestess.
"gumin, shut up! Hey, you evil priestess who attempted to entice an innocent girl into misdeeds! I'm soone who supports gender equality, so I'll raise my hand even against a woman with a sacred job. As retribution for enticing my companion to play with this weird thing, I'll let you feel my sacred fist on behalf of a goddess who can't set a good example for her worshippers."
"Hey Kazuma. Don't be so quick to judge! This kid must have so mitigating circumstances! This man here probably isn't an Axis cultist, so I passed judgnt. But I can sense the aura of an Axis cultist from her! I think we should let her explain first!!"
Aqua got in the way as I was about to pounce at her with my fist.
Looking at Aqua, the priestess widened her eyes.
"You're? … Ah, for such a thing to happen… Ha. I mustn't be rude. Fine, I lose. If you want to burn this or hand over to the police, do as you wish…"
Upon seeing Aqua, the priestess confessed her cris and shrugged.
At her side, the bewildered gumin looked at and the priestess.
"If you surrender, we won't do anything to you, but please cooperate with the police. Pay for your cris there."
"Okay. I know… Ha. gumin, are you still willing to call Onee-san? Don't worry. After I pay for my cri, we'll et again… Yes, probably around this evening…"
The priestess said with a weak smile…
"… This evening? What are you saying? Why would you be released so soon?"
"What are you saying? Illegal possession of tokoroten sli will at most be punished with a lecture for about an hour."
Tokoroten sli?
"… What's that sli? Is it poison or a drug that makes you high…?"
"Nothing like that. It isn't so dangerous. Tokoroten sli's easily swallowed and feels elastic in the mouth. It's a popular food among kids and old people."
Hearing gumin's explanation, I fell silent.
"… But, from the conversation earlier… Don't so people die from this yearly…?"
"Because of the food's nature, a lot of people swallow without chewing properly, so so choke to death every year. I heard this was the favorite thing for wives to give to their mother-in-laws."
... ...
"No, but isn't it a banned item? And the white powder? The possession itself is a cri, right?"
The priestess nodded with a sorrowful expression.
"Previously in Alcanretia, the Demon King's army used tokoroten sli as part of a terrorist attack… It involved turning all the hot springs in the city to tokoroten sli. After that, the nation decreed that tokoroten sli must have dangerous side effects for the Demon King's army to use it, so they started an investigation… In the end, the law banned the consumption of tokoroten sli before the investigation could confirm that it was safe to use."
Why would the Demon King's army do sothing so ridiculous?
"But to , tokoroten sli's irreplaceable! So even though I know I'll be lectured, I still do it…!"
The priestess cried as I considered leaving.
Aqua rested her hand on the priestess's shoulder.
"You, devout Axis cultist… Rember the seventh doctrine of the Axis Cult."
The priestess lifted her head as Aqua patted her shoulder.
"The seventh doctrine…? …! 'You shall not endure. Drink when you want to drink. Eat when you want to eat. Because you might not get to eat it tomorrow…'"
"That's right. You shall not endure. Even if it's fried chicken in soone else's bowl, eat it if you want to. If you want to eat tokoroten sli, don't hold yourself back. After all, holding it back isn't good for the body."
"Ah… Aqua-sama, thank you…!!"
I distanced myself from the strange behavior of Aqua and the priestess. I went next to gumin and whispered in her ear:
"Hey, what should we do? Should we stop them? Or is it better not to get involved?"
"If you're asking that, it's definitely better not to get involved. If you leave it alone, it will probably stop by itself… Anyway, why are you here? Aqua said she wanted to accompany her sowhere this morning. Was this the place?"
Part 3
– I watched over the unconscious seller until he woke up and left.
I ignored Aqua who was still acting strange and explained the matter.
"… So you thought I was being enticed by weirdos into misdeeds and charged in?"
"Yes. I'm sorry. You're familiar with that priestess, right? I've caused you trouble because of the misunderstanding."
As I scratched my head and apologized, gumin smiled and said:
"It's nothing. After all, you were so worried about , huh? I rember it was, '– This is it, you evil cultists!! What are you doing to my companion? Do you have a death wish?!', right? Ha. I got another of Kazuma's quotes to rember."
"D-Don't. Forget it, I was too anxious then… Hey, stop giving that cheeky look or I'll pull on your face. Hey."
Even with my threat, gumin continued smiling.
… Since there wasn't a serious matter…
"Ah–!"
At this ti, a sharp cry echoed in the church, breaking the peaceful mood.
It was the voice of the priestess who was being consoled by Aqua until now.
"What's happening? What's with this person!? To make gumin smile so coyly! gumin even has that slutty tsundere look! Ah! gumin's still so cute! Can I hug you?"
.
------------------->
.
"P-Please don't. Anyway, I haven't introduced all of you to this Onee-san, right?"
gumin pushed the restless priestess away with both hands and said to us:
"Kazuma, Aqua, let introduce you. This is Cecily-san. She's the manager of this church. Uh, her relationship with is…"
"I'm her older sister."
"Please don't invent fictitious relationships! Uh, I should say she took care of previously…"
What was with this Cecily?
She was very pretty, but I could sense an aura of uselessness from her like my companions.
Cecily bowed her head to Aqua and said:
"Let formally introduce myself… Pleased to et you, Aqua-sama. I heard about you from our church's highest ranking official Lord Zesta. My na's Cecily. If I can be of use in any way, please let know."
Cecily said and smiled gently as if facing her lover.
"Oh. You'll do anything? There's a hole in my sock, will you buy a new pair?"
"Of course, Aqua-sama! I'll naturally serve you and help you wear the socks… Ah. What are you doing? Even though I'm pretty, it's wrong for you to do such things!"
I dragged Cecily who was saying stupid things to a corner of the church.
"Hey, she'll get carried away if you dote on her too much. By the way, why are you so devoted to Aqua whom you only just t…? Has the Axis Cult realized her true identity?"
"I don't know what you're talking about. Aqua-sama's Aqua-sama. She's the Archpriest who saved our city. She's the Archpriest who's nad after our goddess. She rely shares the na of our goddess. I ca to this city to serve Aqua-sama and rely on her brilliance to spend my days leisurely."
"Can you please return to Alcanretia?"
But I still sensed it from her reaction.
The Axis Cult probably knew about Aqua's real identity.
And they didn't intend to declare the advent of the goddess Aqua, choosing to observe silently.
At least they didn't intend to harm Aqua and .
… At this ti, Aqua sohow ca over to my side and pulled on my sleeve.
She glanced at expectantly, as if she wanted to say sothing.
What? Was she embarrassed to say it herself, so she wanted to ask Cecily to host the Aqua Festival? So troubleso.
"Uh, you're gumin's acquaintance, Cecily-san, right?"
"Don't be so formal. You can be more casual. You can call Cecily-nee."
What should I do? Looking at her, it felt as if there were two Aquas now.
At the side, Aqua's eyes were sparking and silently urging on. It was annoying.
"… Uh, you know… Actually, this city will host the Goddess Eris Thanksgiving Festival soon–"
"I know! Of course, I know! Those damn Eris cultists plan to leave our Aqua-sama in the lurch with this ridiculous Eris Festival!"
Cecily indignantly interrupted .
"It's the sumr season. What do you think of in sumr? Yes, of course it's the sea, the pool, and the Axis Cult. Then, what do you associate with celebration? Of course it's the Axis Cult. We love banquets, celebrations, and sumr. To leave the Axis Cult aside and host the Eris Festival during sumr's practically provoking us. That's right. This is war. There's no choice but war!"
Were there only these kinds of people in the Axis Cult?
Aqua was moved instantly by Cecily's words. Her eyes were aglow.
"Therefore, I'll divide up the roles. I'll smash the windows of Eris Church. gumin will coolly declare herself and get rid of the angry Eris cultists who'll be chasing . You'll sneak into the crowd and mutter, 'Divine retribution has befallen on those evil Eris cultists…' and other such aningful statents. Aqua-sama will just relax here and drink so wine… Then, let's do this!!"
"I won't let you do this. There are too many things to complain about!! … You people, don't give that look as if you really want to try it out!"
Ignoring gumin, who was giggling over her imagined activity, and Aqua, who was happily drinking wine according to Cecily's plan– I must first deal with this Axis cultist.
"I don't an that. Uh, I feel that you can start hosting sothing like the Goddess Aqua Thanksgiving Festival celebration as a resistance."
Part 4
"Pleased to et you. I'm Cecily, the manager of Axis Cult's Axel branch. I have sothing I need to discuss."
"Please leave."
In Axel's shopping district.
The shop owners of various shops there were preparing for the Goddess Eris Thanksgiving Festival.
"What's this? I was being so polite. What are you dissatisfied with? … Ha. It seems you intend to reject first then blackmail later. You're going to say this, right– 'Hahaha. Pretty priestess of the Axis Cult, if you want to grant your request, then show so sincerity.' And then, you'll do that to my voluptuous body…! I won't let you heathens have your way. I'll show you the power of an Axis cultist!"
"What a crazy woman! This is why I refuse to have dealings with Axis cultists. Stop, wait! Soone help!"
The man in charge of the rchant district committee was being strangled by Cecily before my eyes.
"… Hey gumin. She's your friend, right? Go and stop her."
"Not a friend, just an acquaintance. Please don't misunderstand."
We were here only to get the permit for celebration. Why did disputes happen whenever there was an Axis cultist around?
I left Aqua back at the church because I thought that bringing two problem kids would completely stall the negotiation, but it seed just one didn't make much difference.
gumin and I looked at the scene in the shopping street again.
The shop owners of various shops were very busy, preparing to set up stalls or shelters.
This scene reminded of Japan's cultural festival.
I was sent to this world right after the end of the cultural festival.
I didn't go to school during the day of the cultural festival, but I didn't know I'd be coming to this parallel world. I have so regrets for not going to the festival for one last ti.
My class seed to be setting up a yakisoba stall.
Cecily was still strangling and scolding the chairman.
… These Axis cultists were just trying to host their own festival, right?
Feeling nostalgic about Japan, I ca over to the chairman and stopped Cecily from choking him.
I just accompanied them to the shopping street, but seeing this scene, my thoughts changed slightly.
"Cecily-san. Things won't progress like this. Go and take a rest, I'll persuade him for you."
Hearing this, Cecily let go. The chairman coughed and said:
"You said that you'll persuade on her behalf, but no matter who… Hmm? Are you that billionaire adventurer, Satou Kazuma-san?"
So I was nicknad as the billionaire adventurer? Not bad.
Seeing that the chairman was willing to listen, Cecily cald down. She carefully tidied up her attire and placed her hands together as if in prayer, looking at the chairman in the eyes.
"Actually, regarding this year's Goddess Eris Thanksgiving Festival. We wish to change it to the Goddess Aqua Thanksgiving Festival…"
"Please leave."
"…! … Ugh!"
"Things really can't progress if you keep doing this. Onee-san, please co here! Let's go and play!"
gumin took Cecily away as the latter prepared to pounce again. I softly said to the frightened chairman:
"My companion has caused you trouble. Sorry about that… But our purpose here's related to what she said."
"The Goddess Aqua Thanksgiving Festival ntioned by that Axis cultist? Impossible. I don't know what the Eris cultists will say if we do that…"
I lowered my voice and whispered to the chairman who was unwilling to negotiate:
"No. Unlike that Axis cultist, I'm not making an unreasonable suggestion like changing the festival. I wish to host both festivals at the sa ti. Make it into Goddesses Eris and Aqua Thanksgiving Festival. Everyone will be satisfied with that."
The chairman listened and looked puzzled.
"That won't be permitted. It sounds like a disaster waiting to happen. And it doesn't seem like there's any benefit…"
I pretended to have an epiphany.
"The Goddess Eris Thanksgiving Festival is supported by the rchant district stalls every year, so the annual inco must be good, right?"
I asked in a casual tone.
"Uh, I'd be lying if I said there's no profit. But lately, due to the Demon King's army becoming more active, it wasn't as grand as before… So what about it?"
I see. I see.
"Eris cultists and Axis cultists. Their relationship isn't very good–but it's only the Axis Cult which shows hostility. If the festival is co-hosted by both cults, what would happen? Since Axis cultists love celebrations, they'll compete with the Eris Church and make the celebration go into full swing. Then, the Eris Church wouldn't sit by and do nothing."
"… Please elaborate."
I said to the chairman who was listening seriously now:
"Let them compete with each other. The more aggressive their competition turns into, the grander the celebration will beco. Naturally, the rchant district will benefit and increase profits."
The chairman bowed down and stroked his chin, thinking about it seriously.
But those weren't the only benefits.
"… One more thing. Where do the annual funds for the festival co from?"
"Funds? Most of it cos from the donations of the Eris Church. The rest cos from various aristocrats and our rchant district fundraising…"
I also bowed down like the chairman.
"Isn't it great to let the Axis Cult, which wants to co-host the celebration, contribute to the funds? This way, perhaps just the Eris Church and the Axis Cult alone will raise enough funds."
"… Do it then. Please do it this way! Wow. That's our young and wealthy Kazuma-san for you. I'd like you to be our advisor for this celebration event… Of course, you'll be compensated…"
Oh. This was truly an unexpected developnt.
Although I no longer lacked money, there was no reason to miss out on such a good deal.
"If you don't mind, I'll be the advisor. I've got a lot of good ideas. Let's make a profit out of this."
"Hahaha! This really is a good deal!"
We suddenly laughed out loud. Among the people watching–
"Is it really okay to leave it to him?"
"Even I, your Onee-san, feel sowhat uneasy."
Such whisperings were heard.
Part 5
In the café that recently beca my eting place with Chris, I reported the events over to her.
"– And that's how it went."
"Why? Why did it beco like this? I thought it'd never be approved. How did senpai convince the rchant district chairman?"
Chris shouted, slamd the table and stood up.
"Well, convincing the chairman took so effort, but it ended in a success."
"So it was you–?"
Chris tearfully pestered as I nodded and crossed my arms as if I did a good thing.
"Why? You're so afraid of trouble, so why'd you make things so troubleso? In this case, I've got no choice but to leave aside my own festival to help out with senpai's festival! This is just crazy!"
"No, no. Why's it a given that you'll help her? You should just reject her outright."
Chris beca troubled.
"That's true… But whenever senpai asks for help, I'll naturally do it… Like cleaning up the ss after your resurrection. Sohow, that beca part of my job too…"
"A-About that… Thanks for taking care of then… But calm down. There are good reasons for this."
I explained to Chris who was unable to calm down the conversation I had with the chairman, leaving out the parts about being an advisor and its reward.
"That's roughly what it's like. Because of the problem with the Demon King's army, the populace can't get excited about the festival. So I proposed co-hosting it with the party-loving Axis cultists. This is to let the people forget about the Demon King's army and fully enjoy the festival."
"If you put it like that, I can't object… But are you really the kind of person to think of the citizens?"
"Hey, what are you saying? I'm the kind person who not only defeated countless strong enemies, but is also helping you to find divine relics."
"S-S-Sorry! I-I didn't an it that way…! Hmm. I understand. That should be fine. Senpai probably won't be too outrageous… Right?"
"… Leaving that aside for not, co-hosting is rely a one-ti experint. Given Aqua's personality, just hosting it once should be enough to satisfy her. It should be back to normal next year."
"Hey, why didn't you answer about her being outrageous? Is it r-really okay? … And will my celebration be cancelled next year if the Axis Cult's festival's grander? … No. I-It's not like I want to be honored in a festival, okay?"
Chris was worried about the festival next year, saying troubleso things like Aqua.
Were all the goddesses like this?
"Let's leave this for now. The important thing is… Have you found the divine relic yet?"
"Yes. I found the location. But it's being kept in a rather difficult place. The current owner's a noble nad Undine. This person has a hobby of collecting strange items."
A noble who collects strange items.
Because all the nobles I t so far were like that, my impression of nobles in general was set in stone.
"If the other party's a noble, maybe we could ask Darkness for help? Use the authority of Darkness's family to make things easier…"
"No way. Undine probably used illegal thods to acquire this divine relic, so he'll definitely deny it. He's a noble known for using unscrupulous thods to get what he wants. Even if Darkness negotiates with him, he'll end it with a simple 'I didn't know such a thing existed.'"
Truly, the nobles in my mind were all rotten.
I didn't know whether the so-called illegal thod was blackmail or theft.
But if he was like that, then we can use illegal thods ourselves.
"Then, it's going to be that, Big Boss?"
"Yes. It'll be that, Assistant-kun."
It seems like I'll have to break out that mask again.
Part 6
– After scouting out the noble's mansion, I was thinking about how to infiltrate as I returned ho.
Aqua, who ca back first, was making a scene.
"Darkness! Please. I'll help you to lecture him when Kazuma returns, so please co out of the toilet! I'll be troubled if you stay in there, ! The toilet on the second floor is jamd because soone didn't clean it properly! I beg you, co out! Co out already!"
Aqua was banging on the door of the first floor toilet.
It seed Darkness locked herself inside.
"I'm back. Hey, what's going on? What's this about lecturing ?"
From the way gumin lay on the sofa in the guest hall, she seed to have used Explosion magic in Aqua's company.
"Hey, you damn NEET! It's your fault for spreading Darkness's shaful secrets. Darkness was crying when she returned! 'Young Lady Lalatina, is it true that your abs have six packs?', 'Young Lady Lalatina, is it true that your groom ran away?', 'Young Lady Lalatina is so pretty, so n will still want her even if she's a used woman,' and such. She said that every adventurer she t said such things! I say, co out already, Darkness. You can definitely find a new groom! I won't call you a used woman anymore! Please don't be angry!"
Aqua who couldn't read the mood shouted such things, uncertain whether she was trying to persuade Darkness to co out or to continue to stay in the toilet.
"Hey Darkness. You're causing trouble for everyone, so co out quickly. When I infiltrated into the Dustiness mansion and said that I would reveal your shaful secrets, you replied that I could do whatever I want. But never mind. Consider it my fault, Lalatina."
The toilet door resounded with a bang as if sothing just pounded on it.
Lalatina had stopped crying and was currently angry.
She didn't respond to Aqua's shouts. She ignored for so ti.
But if she continued to stay in the toilet, it'd be very troubleso.
"I know I'm at fault, but you're partly responsible, too. It takes two hands to clap. I apologize, okay? Let's make up… I can find a random place to solve it, so it's not a big problem. But if you don't co out, Aqua will be in trouble. Don't be angry anymore."
"A goddess doesn't use the toilet, so there's no trouble! The toilet on the first floor's my responsibility! If Darkness doesn't co out, I can't clean it! There's no other reason! So co out already!"
Aqua uncomfortably shouted.
I felt like letting Aqua hold it in for a while, but I rembered it was my responsibility to clean the second floor toilet.
It'd be botherso if Aqua pestered on this point, so I gave Darkness my ultimatum.
"Hey Darkness. We've known each other for so ti now, so you should understand . If you don't co out of the toilet, I'll make you cry and beg to stop."
A chuckle was heard from inside the toilet.
Darkness, who had been silent so far, said:
"You too. After knowing for so long, you should know that most things will just be pleasurable to . Are you going to attack with vicious words? I control the toilet. No matter what you say, if I cover my ears and endure it, you'll be the one who's disadvantaged. The Dustiness Clan has always been good at enduring things… Let's compete for endurance! I'll stay here until you apologize and say, 'Lady Dustiness, please forgive !'"
... ...
Hearing this, I moved the heavy table in the guest hall to block the toilet door.
The toilet was located in the corridor next to the guest hall.
The table was as wide as the corridor, so it completely blocked the door.
I whispered sothing to Aqua and left the area.
Aqua watched leave and shouted at the door.
"Hey Darkness. Kazuma said he's going to ransack your room and satisfy his desires on your bed, then he left."
The loud sound of soone collapsing was heard inside the toilet.
Then, as if she was trying to open the door, there was a sound of the door hitting the table.
I ignored these noises and climbed the stairs to the second floor…
Behind , there were repeated sounds of the door slamming against the table. Darkness yelled at :
"Kazuma! Stop! Stop, despicable man! Hey, stop! St…! You're joking, right? Aqua! Kazuma's actually still there, right? gumin! Kazuma's still outside, right?"
Darkness's voice beca uneasy and sounded tearful.
gumin was resting on the sofa in exhaustion, yet she was still caressing Emperor Zell, currently sleeping in Vanir's empty shell. Both gumin and Aqua replied:
"He isn't here." x2
"Kazuma, I was wrong! It's my fault…! Hey, let out. I can't co out! Aqua, gumin, let out! Kazuma, I'm sorry, I apologize! Sorry! Please forgive , Kazuma-sama!"
– A while later.
"… Ugh. My favorite underwear has been…"
"… Uh, what happened to Darkness after that?"
We were eating dinner together and discussing our future plans.
"If you want to know, ask Darkness for details. Aqua, I got the festival permit for you, so can you settle the rest?"
"Of course. There won't be any problem once I get the permit, so leave the rest to . I have my own plans."
Since I got the permit from the rchant district chairman, I'll dump everything else on Aqua.
I still felt a bit uneasy, but since I wasn't an Axis cultist, there was no need for to get involved.
My goal was to make the festival grander by letting the Eris Church and the Axis Cult compete with each other.
I'd fanned the enthusiasm to this point, so they could motivate themselves after this.
Fight… Fight hard…!
"Hey Kazuma. How'd you get the festival permit?"
"Fig… Oh, the rchant district chairman said that letting the Eris Church and the Axis Cult co-host the festival will make it grander than before."
"The permit was really granted, huh? How did…? No. It was you after all. You must've used so underhanded thods, so I won't inquire further. Ah. Why'd this happen when I'm acting as lord…?"
Darkness said and sighed, eating her pasta.
"Hmm…? This pasta's tasty. Or rather, today's food is good. Although it isn't up to the standard of my House's chef, it's good enough to sell in shops. Who cooked the dishes today?"
"… Oh right. You probably didn't know because you were in the ss with the previous lord at that ti. I learned Cooking. You see, I won't have to worry about money now, so I'm thinking of living casually from now on. Compared to skills that are useful only while adventuring, aren't these skills that can improve my lifestyle much better?"
Darkness said with a pained expression:
"Y-You…? When you were learning the escape skill, I already had a bad premonition. What are you trying to beco? … Usually, only chefs will learn the Cooking skill."
Even if you say that–
Part 7
Thereafter, Aqua went to the Axis Cult Church every day to prepare for the festival. The days were peaceful for so ti.
Then, on a certain peaceful night, a few hours before daybreak.
Chris and I stood before our target, Undine's mansion.
"Assistant-kun, why'd you choose this ti? Wouldn't a bit earlier be better?"
"People tend to be deep in sleep at this ti. When a person has just fallen asleep, a bit of noise can wake him up. When living with my family at ho, this is the best ti to sneak downstairs for snacks. This is the wisdom I gained from my lifestyle."
At the mont, we weren't Kazuma and Chris, but the Silver Haired Thieving Band's Assistant-kun and Big Boss.
Wearing that mask and black clothes, I carried a large sack on my back.
There was an overcast sky today.
Without the light of the stars or moon, the surroundings was cloaked in darkness.
"I don't want to criticize you anymore… Then, what are you carrying? What's inside the sack?"
Chris was sowhat interested in the thing on my back.
I was carrying the material to absorb the sound of crashing objects.
It was the bubble wrap I created through experints.
The first prototype was ruined by a certain girl who was sick in the head, but I made the second and third prototypes after that.
After all, we were after a suit of armor.
If we just carried it off, it'd cause enough noise to wake people up.
After hearing my explanation, Chris widened her eyes in admiration.
"I see… Assistant-kun, this bubble wrap is available in Japan, right? The one you pinch for fun…? Say, can I–"
"No, you can't pinch it. It's very troubleso to make. Let's hurry."
– We went to the mansion while it was still dark.
Actually, the difficulty wasn't high this ti.
It was far easier than infiltrating the royal palace. And although Undine was a noble, his family wasn't famous like Darkness's family.
The mansion's front gate had no overnight sentry. It may not even have patrols inside.
I used the night vision of the Farsight skill and flattened myself against the mansion wall.
"I've been wondering about it for so ti. Big Boss, you're a goddess too. Don't you have night vision like Aqua?"
"This body's rely a disguise for use in the mortal world. Because I didn't descend directly into the mortal world, I can't sense devils, undead, and evil. But by the sa token, I won't emit divine aura that attracts undead."
I see, but at tis like this, it could be sowhat inconvenient.
"Then, Big Boss, hold my hand. I'll lead the way."
"Assistant-kun, there's no need to hold hands. When we infiltrated the palace, I could follow without any problem, reber?"
"What are you saying? There was moonlight then, but there isn't even starlight tonight. An accident here could be fatal. Don't underestimate this place just because it's easier to infiltrate than the palace. Co, give your hand…"
"Satou Kazuma-san, you'll receive divine retribution if you sexually harass , okay? For example, the toilet will be occupied just when your stomach suddenly becos uncomfortable. Then, when you finally manage to get in, you'll find that there's no more toilet paper."
"I got carried away. Please forgive ."
This was different from Aqua's divine retribution. Eris's divine retribution was no joking matter.
I trembled as I moved along the walls to reach the back gate.
"Let's just boldly enter today. There's nobody around anyway. We easily can do it with the Trap Detection skill and Lockpicking skill. The important issue is after we find the armor. I don't know how effective the bubble wrap is in reducing the noise…"
"I'll put my trust in Assistant-kun's creation. In the worst case scenario, we can break through like we did in the royal palace!"
As if reminiscing about the infiltration back then, Chris smiled happily as she opened the lock.
Now that I thought of it, it was a rather fun ti.
At that ti, for so reason, I was in extrely high spirits.
"By the way, Assistant-kun's mask is really cool. You said you bought it from the magic tool shop in this city, right? I'm also quite interested in that masked doll on the sofa in your mansion. After our work's done, bring to visit that shop."
"No problem… But, Big Boss, won't you argue with the shop assistant? The shop assistant there has a bad relationship with Aqua. They argue every ti they et."
"I won't argue. Senpai's always like that. She argues with everyone…"
Hmm, she said Chris was a disguise. If Vanir t Chris, would he see through her real identity?
It seed Chris couldn't use the powers of a goddess in this form. Perhaps they wouldn't realize each other's natures even after eting.
… No, no, no. If they accidentally realized each others' real identities, they might get in a fight that'll cause unnecessary trouble. It'll be better to not let them et…
"Okay, it's open. Let's go, Assistant-kun."
Part 8
As expected, there were no patrols in Undine's mansion.
The cri rate in this city was lower than elsewhere, after all. That was probably one of the reasons.
I led the way in the dark corridor.
We moved in the direction indicated by Chris's Treasure Detection skill, but…
"Big Boss. Can you not stop every ti we find so treasure? Let's get the divine relic and go ho to sleep."
"Ugh. Yes, I understand. But how should I put this? Whenever I see treasure, my thief's blood begins to boil… When I consider that an item like this can help a lot of poor children, my hand just…"
Whenever we ca across paintings or ornants along the way, Chris would stop moving.
"Can you please be the chivalrous thief when I'm not around? Besides, there's definitely more expensive and less bulky items in the vault."
"That's true. Assistant-kun, you're quite familiar with the art of theft… You gained quite a few levels, so you must be near the point where you can change jobs, right? Change jobs to be a thief!"
"My next goal is to live a decadent life, so it's better to be an adventurer who's weak but capable of learning different skills. Next, I want to learn the Create Earth Golem skill. I'm wondering if I could use that skill to create a golem to do housework."
"… You sure like to waste magic and skill points on weird things. Speaking as a goddess, I wish you'd learn so proper skills to prepare to fight the Demon King…"
What are you saying to the person in this world with the highest death count?
– With the help of Chris's Treasure Detection skill, we finally arrived at a thick door.
At this ti, my Trap Detection skill, which was seldom used, responded.
"There seems to be a trap here. Let see… Oh. It's an alarm trap… Say, Assistant-kun."
"I'm not stupid. I won't repeat the sa mistake I made in the palace… R-Really. Don't look at like that…"
As Chris disard the trap, I used the Enemy Detection skill to see if there was anyone nearby.
"…?"
Not an enemy.
It wasn't an enemy, but there was a subtle presence in the treasure vault.
And it wasn't the presence of a human or a monster.
"Okay, trap disard! The lock's also been opened, Assistant-kun!"
Chris said and put her hand on the door.
"Ah. W-Wait, Big Boss. There's–"
Before I could tell her about the mysterious presence, she opened the door.
"…? What is it, Assistant-kun?"
"Eh?"
There was nobody in the treasure vault.
This could be my imagination, but I still sensed the presence inside.
And there was a mountain of strange items and treasure…
"Assistant-kun! Assistant-kun, look! This is a very expensive item!"
"Hey, Big Boss, that's cheating. I saw that first!"
I completely forgot about that presence and indulged in sorting the treasure.
"I'll say it right now. The treasure we steal must be donated away, okay? Even if the other party's evil, we shouldn't steal for our own gain…"
"Shh. What's this super shiny thing? It seems to be worth a good price! Oh, what's this strangely shaped stone? I rember Aqua's collecting strange stones. Let's bring it back as a present for her."
"… Say, Assistant-kun, are you listening? We can't do that. We really can't keep them, okay?"
At this ti, I suddenly noticed.
I noticed that although there were a lot of expensive items in this room, the most important one, the armor, was missing.
"Big Boss, I don't see anything like a divine relic."
"Eh? Uh, that's true. But there's a sense of a divine relic. Why isn't it here?"
I beca interested in the presence I felt earlier and looked in that direction.
In that direction was a wall. There was nothing unnatural there…
"Hmm?"
As I touched along the wall, a portion of it sunk. As if we were in a ninja's house, the wall swung open.
"A secret door. Not bad, Assistant-kun."
"After all, I'm confident that my luck is second only to Big Boss's luck."
Carefully, we walked into the room beyond the wall.
– In the middle of the room, there was a suit of armor chained down on all sides as if it was being sealed away.
That suit of silvery-white armor seed like a complete work of art.
There were no joints. Its appearance was a smooth set of full-body armor.
Even for soone like who isn't familiar with armor, my heart raced as I looked at that suit. The armor gave a sense of invincibility in terms of equipnt.
"This is…"
"This is the Sacred Armor Aigis… The toughest divine relic in this world that will bring its wearer victory."
We ca closer to the armor and reevaluated it.
"Upon closer inspection, there are scratches everywhere."
Hearing my monologue, Chris emotionally put her hand on the armor.
"… Yes. After all, this is the armor that protected its master against the Demon King's army. No matter what challenge the armor's master faced, he never lost to anyone. Right up til the end…"
She seed to be verifying every small scratch on the armor one by one.
"You were dedicated until your master died of sickness…"
Chris whispered to the armor and gently stroked it.
Ah. At this ti, she really looks like a goddess–
While I was thinking and looking at Chris's profile.
"Hey, boy. Don't touch casually."
A man's voice suddenly resounded in my mind and broke the solemn mood.
Chris, who was touching the armor, probably heard the voice too.
"Uh. B-Boy? Is that ? No, what's happening? The voice earlier was you? Sacred Armor Aigis?"
"Oh. What? Not a boy? Then you may touch so more. Let introduce myself. Pleased to et you two. My na's Sacred Armor Aigis. I'm a multi-talented divine relic that can speak and sing. You may call Aigis-san."
Hey, what was this talkative divine relic?
This guy was the subtle presence I felt with my Enemy Detection skill.
"Uh… I'm a bit shocked since I've never heard that the divine relic could speak. Therefore, Aigis–"
"I told you to call Aigis-san, brat."
"I'm not a brat! And why's a divine relic being so arrogant?"
"Big Boss. We didn't sneak in here during the middle of the night to argue with an inorganic entity! Let's complete our objective!"
I stopped Chris, who was arguing and hitting the divine relic's chest. To complete our primary objective, I took out the luggage on my back.
Chris suddenly looked serious and put her hand on the armor's chest.
"… Right. Aigis-san. We ca here to borrow your power once more. I'll help you find a new master. That person will co from another world like your previous master. It'll be soone from a place called Japan, a person destined to save the world!"
Chris said and smiled as if encouraging Aigis…!
"Ah? What are you saying? Why must I do such things even now? Impossible. I'm not willing. Borrowing my power ans I have to be an armor to protect the master, right? Are you stupid? Even an armor can feel pain when hit. My cool, shiny body will be damaged! By the way, what's that so-called master like? Is it soone I can accept?"
Faced with Aigis's complaints, the smile froze on her face.
"… Uh, although I can't promise it, the person should be full of righteousness and courage, and very gentle…"
"No, no. The personality doesn't matter! The important thing is appearance. Appearance! Big tits? Or thin models? If it's like that previous brat, then forget it. Ah. I prefer cuties to beauties. The previous master was a swordsman, so a swordswoman would be better this ti. I hope that person will wear less beneath the armor."
…...
.
--------------------->
.
"I say, is this tasteless armor really that important? I think it's better to let it sink to the bottom of the sea."
"Assistant-kun, I understand your feelings, but this is a divine relic. Yes, I can understand your feelings, but please bear with it."
It seed she still wanted to bring this ridiculous armor back.
I silently brought out the bubble wrap for packing…
"Hmm? Hey, what's that guy doing? … By the way, who are you people? Did you ntion 'sneak in here during the middle of the night' earlier?"
Aigis asked .
"Yes. We're infiltrators. We're going to bring you back and hand you over to the master. You're a divine relic, a sacred armor, right? Then work hard for ."
Chris watched work from the side as she touched the chains on Aigis's body.
"There aren't many girls sent here from Japan, so it may be hard to et your requirents. But if a girl cos along, I'll make you a priority for her…"
At the mont she said that.
Aigis shouted in a loud voice that echoed throughout the mansion–
"Mansnatchers–!!"
I wanted to play the straight-man and scream, "You're not even human!"
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