Afterimage (17)
Holding Seraphina's hand, I left the church.
We didn't say anything.
I escorted her to the room I had saved for her.
At the door, we looked at each other without a word.
Sohow naturally, I lightly bent down and kissed only her lips.
Briefly, and dryly.
Seraphina stared blankly at , then touched her lips with her own hand.
Her face reddened slightly.
Then she bit her lower lip lightly and smiled shyly.
Seraphina gently approached .
She tried to grab my collar, but faltered and stepped back again.
She put her hands behind her back and said,
"See you next ti."
"Yeah, see you next ti."
****
Perhaps due to the convoluted situation, my cigarette and alcohol consumption increased to levels similar to before I tried to hang myself.
Rather, perhaps because I'm overflowing with money, I seem to be drinking even more from bottles and smoking cigarettes now.
The bitter taste lingering on my tongue and the sensation of smoke brushing past my throat stimulated sothing dull within .
Even when Seraphina and Estelle took turns showing their faces and greeting , they didn't speak directly to each other, but they would ask how the other was doing, and how close they'd beco with .
Each ti, I sohow felt dizzy.
Yet, my mind was clear.
Because rather than floating aimlessly on alcohol and nicotine, I was using them only to flush out the fucking unpleasant things.
Today too, I was on my way back to my room after pretending to attend classes I'd heard countless tis and lightly practicing magic.
Levina was sitting on the sofa in my room, drinking heavily.
The room reeked of strong alcohol.
Her face was completely red, and it seed she hadn't noticed enter the room.
She was staring blankly into space.
Only after I sat opposite her did she rub her eyes lightly and open her mouth.
"Ah, my master has arrived."
I frowned and asked.
"What kind of bullshit is that?"
"You hold my life in your hands and shake it, so what else would you be if not my master?"
Levina replied.
Her voice was moist with alcohol.
I sighed.
"What the hell is your problem now?"
Levina paid no mind, poured a full glass of the alcohol she was drinking, and handed it to .
The amber liquid swirling within the glass.
"Drink."
I obediently took the glass.
Then Levina clinked her bottle against my glass in a toast, and proceeded to drink straight from the bottle.
Gulp, gulp.
She emptied the bottle in the vulgar manner she usually detested, then abruptly threw the bottle against the wall.
Shards of the bottle, shattered against the wall, flew everywhere.
It seed so pieces grazed or embedded themselves in my face.
A stinging pain was felt.
Though the ss in the room was more annoying than the pain.
I only removed the stinging glass shards, and didn't bother wiping away the flowing blood.
Rubbing invisible glass shards into the wound would only make it sting more.
Before I could speak, Levina opened her mouth first.
"I killed her."
She wore a smile on her face.
But that smile did not look happy at all.
"The person who scared to death from childhood until now, I got rid of her, just as you said."
Levina continued.
"I couldn't have done it without you.
I thought I was the master holding and shaking your life, but who knew it would be the other way around."
"Are you going to lant?"
"Yeah. You said you'd die, so what else could I do?
Rather than Mother, who always hit and only said unpleasant things supposedly for my sake, I like you better, Lavin."
Levina said, looking at with a smile on her flushed face.
"Because I'm soone who clearly knows what's more important."
After our eyes t, Levina and I simply held each other's gaze in silence for a long ti.
It felt like dozens of minutes had passed, but neither of us spoke first.
Only the faint moonlight pouring onto the broken glass shards in the room, and our two breaths, existed.
Levina sighed, then let out a hollow laugh and said.
"I got her involved with heretics and sent her away.
So, when I told her I'd spare her if she stopped her scheming behind the scenes, relinquished all power, and just holed up in a villa, she should've disappeared back then."
She muttered to herself as if in a monologue.
"Aren't you curious how she died? You hated our Mother, didn't you?"
"Not particularly curious. I imagine it was rather pathetic."
"You speak as if you saw it with your own two eyes."
Rather than seeing it with my own two eyes, I had actually been the one to get rid of her myself before, but I didn't bother bringing that up.
"It couldn't be helped, could it?
I had no choice but to do it because you told to.
Because I can do anything to save you.
Yes, surely that woman would have tried to kill you with poison if she brought you to the mansion."
Levina's expression was smiling, but tears were flowing from her eyes.
Yet, she wasn't sobbing or losing her breath.
That's why it was strange.
Because she wasn't born that way, but rather raised to beco like this.
She wiped away the tears under her eyes with her hand each ti they welled up.
It hadn't been long since she'd cut herself, as a long, still-bleeding wound remained on her wrist.
Levina rose from her seat and approached .
"Say sothing, like 'you did well,' or 'there's truly no one but you, sister'."
I reached out and slowly stroked her cheek.
Then I moved my hand to the back of her head, pulling her face closer to mine.
"What do you want to hear?"
At those words, Levina gasped and swallowed.
"You know that just because you killed the Duchess with your own hands, or cut your wrist in a way that wouldn't hurt much, or suddenly acted like soone who's lost their mind, it doesn't an so heartfelt emotion will suddenly appear, don't you?"
I also stood up.
Then I pulled a cigarette from my pocket, stuck it in my mouth, and lit it.
Kicking casually at the irritating broken glass shards scattered on the floor.
Then Levina clung to .
"I killed everyone just as you said!
Not just Mother, but even those bastards who whispered about getting rid of you and disposing of you at the right ti, I tied them all to heretics and eliminated them all!"
Levina shrieked.
Then she pushed , who was standing, onto the bed with both arms.
She climbed on top of as I fell.
"But why do you still look at with those eyes?
I want you to look at the way you look at that idiotic girl.
Why do I always have to receive such a gaze?"
"You only killed one foolish woman who knew nothing but how to tornt a child, that's all."
"Even if that foolish woman was my mother? I did it for you."
"Of course, it was all for my sake. Everything you did before, and everything you're doing now, all of it."
I grabbed Levina by the collar, who was on top of , and pulled her close.
And then, I kissed her.
Levina awkwardly returned the kiss, not much different from last ti.
"Why, do you like it?"
As I pulled away slightly, Levina's face looked sowhat relaxed.
She didn't answer, but nodded her head.
"Don't like it. It's disgusting."
I slapped her cheek.
She then looked at with startled eyes, as if she hadn't expected to be hit at a ti like this.
Levina clutched her slapped cheek.
The marks on her wrist beca more distinct.
She muttered softly.
"I even ca after killing Mother, and I still can't get any comfort."
"It's hard to comfort you, isn't it?
I don't know how I'm supposed to react to soone who killed her mother to sleep with her younger brother, sister."
At the word "sister," Levina's expression softened a little again.
I pulled Levina, who was blankly clutching her slapped cheek, back into my embrace.
And I stroked her head.
Then her shoulders began to tremble slightly.
"Did I, did I make such a big mistake?
I just wanted you to be by my side, was that really a mistake big enough to deserve what's happening now? I don't know. When I'm in front of you, I can't think about whether it's worth it or not."
I looked at Levina's sowhat unfocused eyes, then leaned my face closer to hers again.
"Yes, it's a mistake. Because your very existence is a mistake.
Being born to a woman like that is a sin in itself.
Wouldn't it be fine if you just hanged yourself sowhere suitable and died?
It would be troubleso if you interfered when I beco the family head, wouldn't it?"
"......."
Hearing those words, Levina only teared up slightly.
"It's a joke. It's what you said to before, sister.
It just suddenly ca to mind, and I wanted to say it."
I whispered into her ear.
"Open your mouth."
At those words, Levina opened her mouth obediently, though with a bewildered expression.
I kissed her directly, then inserted my tongue.
And then I thoroughly entwined them.
Levina, stiff and still, breathed only through her nose, her mouth sealed.
The sensation of hot alcohol mixed with a wine scent rushed over .
I held her like that for a long ti.
As soon as my tongue entered, Levina's eyes widened and she tried to pull away, but perhaps due to the alcohol, her eyes slowly began to lose focus, her expression sowhat hazy.
As I pulled away, Levina gasped for breath.
Then she brought the back of her hand to her lips and stamred.
"Th-this, wh-what kind of sh-shaless, o-obscene…!"
I pushed her down onto the bed and said.
"Stop your nonsense and go to sleep."
I got up, wiped my mouth with my sleeve, poured a glass of water, rinsed my mouth, and drank it.
Levina fell asleep shortly after lying on the bed.
Her eyes were abnormally hollow and there were heavy dark circles, making it look as though she hadn't slept for two full days.
I took out a revolver from the drawer.
And I picked up the bullets scattered at the bottom of the drawer, inserting them one by one into the cylinder.
After fully loading it, I lowered the hamr.
Without putting my finger on the trigger guard, I aid the barrel at the sleeping Levina.
Levina was the only one who could competently run the Edelgard family, and considering the Demons' invasion, Levina needed to be alive.
This ti, I turned the muzzle of the revolver to my temple.
If I pull the trigger like this, Lineta will also revive.
And I can kill this crazy piece of trash who made his insane older sister kill their parents, then just gave her a scolding and a kiss, as well as the Saintess, and the worthless bastard who only ever wounded the heart of his childhood friend he'd spent over ten years with, giving her nothing in return.
Perhaps Levina, seeing her younger brother commit suicide right after kissing her, might change a little too.
Though I'm not sure how that unchanging person would change.
The mont of pulling the trigger would probably be quite thrilling.
Enough to make a bit of fatigue vanish.
I threw the gun onto the table.
I had to live to see everything.
Whether it was the Demons, or if things just worked out relatively well like this.
If this is the last ti, would it beco a fact that I crushed Lineta to death?
For everyone to live, the world needs to be normal.
Rather than waiting for soone to save , if I die again and again, I too...
By the way, if I go back, can I really save Lineta?
Honestly, it seed like her head was completely ssed up.
[Collect the Ending. 5/?]
[Currently collected rewards: Lingering Trace, Afterimage, Traces, Lingering soul, □□]
[Reward: Salvation]
I roughly waved my hand to dismiss the words that appeared before my eyes, then sat on the sofa and drank straight from the bottle, just as Levina had.
And then I pulled a cigarette from my pocket, lit it, and smoked.
It's not the worst.
Not the worst yet.
In fact, this might even be the second best option.
Because no one else died besides Lineta, and the situation isn't unfolding like a disaster as it did last ti.
Only hearts are twisted this way and that; nothing is utterly ruined.
But after dying so many tis, it's a bit much to be satisfied with the second best option.
To others, it would be the worst, so accepting this as the second best option is also strange.
Living in this fucking world has been so shitty that it feels like my threshold for life has sohow lowered.
Anyway, if I just appropriately help Kyle up to the point where he won't be able to save the world, I'll surely find sothing out.
If it looks like it's all going to end, I can just kill him from behind.
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