The First (11)
I was dragged here and there, following her lead.
We passed through the hallway and went down the stairs.
The outdoor air, which I was breathing in after a long ti, was warm.
The sun was dazzling, and the laughter of students sounded distant.
Estelle, without letting go of my wrist, continued to prattle on.
"Isn't the weather really nice today?
Staying cooped up in your room on a day like this is a sin, a sin.
Oh, but you're a sinner, so perhaps it's fine?
It's okay, if you just chat with , God will forgive everything."
She laughed to herself, amused by sothing.
I just walked beside her.
My shadow silently followed behind .
The place we headed towards was a small church located at the back gate of the Academy.
"How is it? Pretty neat, right?"
As the door opened, colorful light poured in like dust motes.
Stained glass.
I squinted my eyes.
The interior of the church was quiet and cool.
There was the sll of old wood and a faint scent of incense.
At tis like these, I often tell myself.
That this world is, after all, just a diocre imitation.
Purposely blurring my vision, I tell myself that this world is rely a pixelated one, just a bit too clear.
Because being the only one plunged into misfortune in a beautiful and happy world feels quite miserable.
"Nobody really cos here.
If they have prayers, they go to the grand cathedral in the center, not to a small, old place like this.
That's why I like it. It's quiet."
Estelle let go of my wrist and walked familiarly towards the altar.
Her white priest's attire was vividly visible in the dimly lit interior.
"Sit here. Anywhere."
She patted the long pew at the very front with her hand and spoke.
I went and sat where she pointed.
A small creaking sound echoed.
"So, what do I have to do now?"
"Nothing."
"Not even cleaning?"
"That can be done by calling soone later. Just sit, it's the first day today."
After saying that, Estelle watched for about 30 minutes before sending back.
Literally, without doing anything at all.
All I had to do was go to the church every afternoon at the sa ti and sit next to Estelle.
She spent most of her ti reading a book or humming sothing to herself.
Her humming was closer to a simple vocalization without lyrics or a lody.
Sotis she spoke to .
"Doesn't the Academy cafeteria food taste really bad?
Yesterday, a bug ca out of the soup. Though I secretly put it in myself."
"...And?"
"I ate it. I vaguely washed it before putting it in the soup.
The Saintess, who would typically not even bother to frown while stirring it with a spoon, frowned once and then ate it without a word."
"I didn't know you enjoyed eating bugs."
She stared at incredulously, then burst into a soft chuckle.
"That's just Saintess play-acting, the kind who would sacrifice even this so that the cook wouldn't get into trouble.
The most important part is for soone nearby to see the bug floating around."
"Still, I don't think eating it is quite right. How did it taste?"
"......Do people usually ask about the taste in situations like this?"
In the languid afternoon, sunlight passed through the stained glass, scattering onto the floor in multi-colored shards.
Estelle stepped barefoot on those fragnts of light, smiling brightly.
Her appearance was more like a mischievous child than a saintess.
Estelle didn't bring up the forbidden library.
Nor did she ask how much I knew about her.
About two weeks passed like that.
Was it because the ti spent with Estelle was enjoyable, or was I actually a coward afraid of dying?
Whatever it was, while I was with Estelle, I lived with the thought of dying erased from my mind.
However, Seraphina still ca every morning.
As if to remind of what the problem was.
Every ti I looked at Seraphina's face, a ssage seed to overlap in my vision.
[Collect the Ending. 1/?]
[Reward: Return to your original world.]
Now she no longer spoke to .
Nor did she brew coffee.
Sotis, the cup would even be left untouched.
She simply ca into the room, wiped away the dust that had accumulated while I was gone, checked for anything out of place, and then quietly left.
These days, I would leave before Seraphina, so it had been a long ti since I'd seen her quietly close the door and depart.
I could hear the sounds of her moving.
The rustle of a dry cloth wiping furniture, the soft footsteps of her careful tread.
As I got out of bed, put on so suitable clothes, and was about to leave the room, I heard her voice for the first ti in a while.
"Every day, where do you go?"
It was her question, heard after a very long ti.
Her voice trembled slightly.
"The church."
I answered without turning around.
"......The church?"
"Because of a disciplinary action."
I slipped on my shoes, crushing the heels.
I could feel her gaze nailed to my back.
"What kind of disciplinary action, exactly?"
"Community service... they say, but I'm not sure."
"......If it's community service, what are you doing?
They aren't making you do strange hard labor, are they?"
In her voice, the tremor had been replaced by a faint anxiety.
'It's none of your business.'
I swallowed the words that had risen to my throat.
Instead, I offered her a aningless fact.
"All I do is spend so ti with the Saintess and then co back."
"Estelle-nim...?"
Her voice rose a tone.
"How, for what reason?"
"Are you serious? Even after breaking off the engagent, do you want to act like before?"
I grabbed the doorknob.
I didn't want to continue this conversation any longer.
"The broken engagent—!"
Seraphina seed about to say sothing but choked on her words, then sharply inhaled and exhaled.
anwhile, I opened the door.
"Lavin."
Her voice pierced my back.
I stopped walking, but I didn't turn around.
"Why, why don't you say anything...?"
Her voice faded gradually.
She must have been biting her lower lip.
It was an old habit of hers.
We both knew very well why we weren't saying anything to each other.
Because we were childhood friends.
Because we had known each other for a very long ti since childhood.
That's why I turned around and said in a low voice.
"You know, Seraphina."
"Ugh. I, I'm sorry. I won't ask.
Ju, just... be careful!
Ah, and, if it's too hard, tell ."
I didn't reply and stepped out into the hallway.
Just before the door closed, I briefly peered into the room through the gap.
Seraphina was standing still, exactly where I had been.
I couldn't tell what expression was on her face.
Nor did I want to know.
When I arrived at the church, Estelle was standing before the altar with her eyes closed.
She didn't seem to be praying.
She simply looked lost in deep thought.
At the sound of sitting on the chair, she slowly opened her eyes.
"You're here?"
"Yeah."
"Your expression looks even more rotten today.
Did you fight with your fiancée?"
She asked casually.
She pulled out a cigarette from her pocket, clamped it between her lips, lit it, and then put it in my mouth.
Then she took out another one, imdiately put it in her own mouth, and lit it.
Smoke began to rise within the small church.
"For now, she's my ex-fiancée. Do you know Seraphina?"
"No, I haven't exchanged words with her. But she's quite famous these days. As much as you are."
"Famous?"
"You wouldn't know, since you don't have a single friend, heh.
Even after breaking off the engagent, it's rumored that her ex-fiancé has so leverage over her, so every day, the ex-fiancée is... hmm. Did I put that too mildly?"
Estelle got up from her seat, sat next to , and said teasingly with a wry smile.
"As a pitiful woman whose weaknesses are exploited by a human trash, and is subjected to terrible things every night."
She clapped her hands and laughed.
Her red eyes curved into crescents.
"......That's a bit problematic."
"Well, it would've been interesting if it were true, but looking at you, it doesn't seem to be.
Want a peach? I brought these from the cathedral this ti."
She carelessly stubbed out the cigarette she was smoking on the altar, then pulled out two peaches from her pocket and tossed one to .
"Though I stole them from the Archbishop, that foolish old man's room, God will understand.
After all, the Saintess said she was a bit hungry."
I received it reflexively.
The soft fuzz on its surface tickled my palm.
"I didn't know God was that lenient."
"Well, considering no lightning bolt has struck even though I curse in my heart every day, perhaps He is quite lenient."
Estelle took a big bite of the peach.
Juice trickled down the corner of her mouth.
I looked at her.
Her perpetually cheerful face.
Her carefree smile, seemingly devoid of worries.
I couldn't understand.
"Estelle."
"Hm."
"Why are you being nice to ?"
The question that ca out of my mouth was one I hadn't even expected myself.
Estelle stopped smiling and tilted her head.
"What?"
"I asked why you're being nice to ."
The church fell into complete silence for a mont.
Estelle's face, now devoid of a smile, was unfamiliar.
She gazed steadily at .
Her red eyes no longer sparkled playfully.
"You're handso."
It was a jesting answer.
"......"
"Ha. You actually believed that. Well, it's not entirely empty words, though."
Estelle sighed and leaned her back against the chair.
"Do you want to hear it?"
"It doesn't matter if you don't want to tell . I'm not dying of curiosity."
"No, it's fine. You probably don't have anyone to tell, so I'll tell you.
Or rather, even if you did tell soone, no one would believe it, would they? Anyway."
Her gaze was directed at the statue above the altar.
"I had a younger brother.
He was two years younger than .
If he had grown up, he would probably have been much more handso than you.
Because he would've resembled ."
Her voice was dry.
"I think I was twelve. He suddenly fell ill with so sickness.
Even when I took him to priests, all I found were bastards who just told to bring money, and while my family wasn't poor, we weren't exactly wealthy either.
Ah, I wasn't the Saintess back then."
The light passing through the stained glass fell upon her face.
Her expression was not visible.
"Anyway, you, being so distinguished noble lord, might not know, but it's a rather obvious and common story.
That child simply... died like that. Holding my hand. Saying he was in pain. Saying he envied that I was alive."
Estelle placed the peach she was holding on the altar and let out a hollow laugh.
"You, you resemble him."
Her hand touched my cheek.
It was cold.
"You shouldn't have asked. After all, it's different."
Strangely, I didn't feel the urge to slap it away like I did with Seraphina.
"Don't co tomorrow. I'll... take care of your disciplinary action myself.
If I say things like this, it's even hard to see you as a stand-in for a corpse."
Our eyes t.
And it was only then that I felt like I was eting Estelle's gaze for the very first ti.
The reason I had been comfortable spending ti with Estelle until now was probably because Estelle hadn't really been looking at .
Even when our eyes t, she had always been seeing sothing else in .
"Oh, right. Levina said she wants to see you on Friday. She said she has sothing to return."
I looked at Estelle without any particular reply, and as I turned to leave, Estelle approached, grabbed my sleeve, and spoke.
"Even if it seems a bit pathetic, be my talking companion sotis. I don't have friends either, just like you."
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