Coloring (4)
Levina was silent for a mont.
Her gaze flitted between the blood dripping from my arm and the glass fragnts scattered on the floor.
As if she hadn't decided how to interpret the scene before her.
The complex emotion that had flickered across her face was soon masked by her familiar blank expression.
The tireso face I saw every day.
She sighed.
It seed to be a mix of annoyance and fatigue.
As she exhaled the air from her lungs, she subtly raised an eyebrow, revealing her displeasure.
"Lavin, I don't know where you picked up this idea, but do you really think anything will change?"
She opened her mouth.
Her voice was even lower and colder than usual.
It didn't particularly feel frightening.
Because this person always acts like this, even when groveling like a dog, feigning apology.
"Father already stated you're being expelled from the family, and there's nothing more I can do."
She slowly walked around the room.
As if appraising my surroundings.
"You're not at an age where throwing a tantrum will solve anything."
Her gaze wasn't directed at .
The dust in the room, the clothes scattered untidily, and the broken liquor bottle.
As if all of it were an extension of , she ticulously scanned everything.
But she never looks directly at .
That's the kind of person Levina is.
"Right now, you are a truly pathetic and inadequate person.
Though I doubt you've ever been anything different."
She stopped in front of .
And looked down at .
As always.
I didn't like that gaze, that expression, that deanor.
"Do you think there's anyone who would care about you just because you hurt yourself?
Soone would notice, hmm?
Even children sent to nunneries after causing trouble tend to avoid such things.
Everyone knows it's a cheap tactic, no different from the childish tantrums thrown by overgrown brats."
Whatever she said didn't really resonate with .
I wanted to scream for her to bring Estelle imdiately because I was in agonizing pain, but it would be better to say nothing.
Because right now, I'm soone who has never exchanged a word with Estelle.
She looked at my wound.
The blood hadn't stopped, it was still flowing.
But there was no change in her expression.
"Or is this about the broken engagent?
Do you know that it's laughable for an Edelgard to act like this over a re girl?"
I had intended to just stay silent, but when Seraphina's na ca up, I involuntarily blurted out a sarcastic remark.
At least Seraphina wasn't just, no.
She wasn't 'just a girl' to 'Lavin'.
"Yes, it might be because of the broken engagent.
I heard that the esteed Young Lord already finished discussing it without even talking to ."
Levina stared at without answering.
Blankly, with an unreadable expression I'd never seen before on her usually emotionless face.
I crushed out the finished cigarette in the ashtray.
Then I took out another cigarette and put it in my mouth.
I opened the matchbox with my left hand.
My arm trembled faintly.
I took out a matchstick, struck it with trembling hands like an idiot, and with a 'chzzk' sound, a fla ignited.
But my trembling hand couldn't accurately bring the fla to the tip of the cigarette.
The fla danced in the air for a mont, then soon died out.
"Ah, fuck. Sister, no, that's not right. Levina, could you light this for ?"
She didn't answer my words.
Nor did she move.
She rely looked down.
She must have been inwardly flustered.
Indeed, if it were , I'd probably also wonder how to react to soone calmly smoking a cigarette after cutting their arm.
Once more.
This ti, I put a little more strength into my fingers.
The second fla ignited, and this ti, I succeeded in lighting the tip of the cigarette.
After inhaling the smoke and holding my breath, my head swam.
The pain from the wound seed to recede a little.
When I exhaled the smoke, a hazy curtain obscured my vision.
Beyond it, Levina's face was visible.
Still expressionless.
"Sister?"
"Sorry, you used to dislike being called that, didn't you?"
"That's not it......"
"Why, it's common, isn't it? People who die for love."
I didn't avoid her gaze, and said calmly.
As if talking about soone else's story.
"Is that all?"
I just nodded.
Without a word.
Her eyebrows twitched faintly.
My compliant attitude seed to be outside her expectations.
She must have thought I would resist or at least make an excuse.
Though it's been quite a while since I stopped doing that.
"Is that all you have to say?"
Her voice was now laced with overt annoyance.
She approached, gently took the cigarette from my hand, and stubbed it out on the table, not in the ashtray.
The red ember sputtered and died.
I didn't even have the strength to avoid it.
It was just a bit of a waste.
I hadn't even smoked half of it.
Since my pockets were rather light, each cigarette was precious.
"Whatever I say, your words are always right, aren't they?
No, they have to be right."
"......"
"It was probably two or three years ago that I begged you to forgive just this once, promising I wouldn't do it again. You said that was the last ti. Whatever I say, you won't listen, will you?"
I replied with a faint smile.
Because I felt that if I got angry or annoyed, I would beco too pathetic a person.
Levina couldn't answer.
She rely looked down at with a hardened expression.
I leaned back against the sofa.
And closed my eyes.
Whether from losing too much blood, or simply being tired, my head was spinning.
It felt like it would be alright to fall asleep like this.
"......Get up."
Levina's voice was heard.
It felt slightly less sharp than usual.
Though it might have been a delusion.
"I'll call the physician. Until then, at least stay conscious."
I didn't open my eyes.
I just lay on the sofa, unmoving.
I didn't even have the energy to reply.
Not long after, I heard the sound of her leaving the room.
The sound of her heels faded, and then the door closed.
The room beca quiet once more.
Though the sll was quite potent.
The broken liquor bottle lay scattered, the peculiar sll of old alcohol, stale cigarette smoke, and the scent of blood.
My eyes caught the cigarette Levina had crushed out.
Upon closer look, smoke was still rising; the ember hadn't completely died.
I grabbed it with a trembling hand and tried to put it in my mouth to smoke, but the blood flowing from my arm extinguished the ember.
How much ti had passed?
Again, the sound of the door opening was heard.
Estelle walked into my room, looking around.
For so reason, I thought I could sll apples.
"Just as the rumors say. It's a complete ss. Ugh, the sll of alcohol, cigarette smoke. Do you even clean this room? As your sister said, it doesn't feel like a place where a person lives."
It was a cheerful voice, with an intonation that sounded sowhat teasing.
It was the Saint, Estelle, dressed in a white priest's robe.
"Usually, other petty nobles would rage, 'How dare a nobody like you lecture ?' But you're a bit different, Young Master. Or perhaps you're too hurt to even speak."
She looked around the room, then finally her eyes t mine as I lay on the sofa.
For a mont, the playful smile on her face faintly stiffened.
She stared at blankly for a mont.
But that too was brief; she soon shook her head slightly and returned to her usual expression.
"Wow, you're a ss."
Estelle spoke.
Her voice was cheerful, yet it had an underlying coolness.
She approached and squatted down in front of .
Perhaps because of the playful atmosphere, I found myself making a joke.
"Don't people usually knock?"
"The Holy Spirit, blessings, and God's word always arrive unannounced."
"I'm not exactly a devout believer, you know."
She shrugged her shoulders and let the words trail off.
"Did you do this yourself? Or did soone help you?"
Then she casually lifted the arm from which blood was flowing.
Cold fingers brushed the wound.
The sharp pain made involuntarily wince.
Seeing my expression, she smiled as if amused.
"Looks like it hurts. Well, of course, it would hurt when raw flesh is torn."
She smiled sweetly and stood up.
Then, scanning the table, she picked up my cigarette pack.
"Can I smoke this?"
"If you're going to light, light one for too."
"Indeed, when else would I get to smoke a cigarette lit by a Saint, hmm?"
She took out two cigarettes.
One she put in her own mouth, and the other she placed in mine.
She struck a match and lit her own cigarette first.
Then she took the cigarette from my mouth, and put the one she had lit in her own mouth, into mine.
Even after doing it herself, she seed quite flustered.
Though she didn't say anything to show it.
As I inhaled deeply, the familiar smoke filled my lungs.
She too took a deep drag, then subtly furrowed her brow.
"This really tastes bad."
She said with a shy smile.
Then she extended her hand over my arm.
From her palm, a warm and gentle light flowed.
The torn wound instantly began to heal.
Flesh grew back, and the skin beca seamlessly smooth.
Although there was still blood, the wound had vanished without a single scar.
"Aren't you going to say thank you? Levina, who begged and pleaded for help, will take care of the reward, but there's such a thing as basic courtesy. I guess the Edelgard family doesn't teach that?"
Recalling a past conversation, I let out a hollow laugh and replied in a low voice.
"Thank you."
"......Ah, uh-huh."
Perhaps not expecting a direct thank you, she replied sowhat awkwardly and averted her gaze.
Then, after a brief silence, she suddenly asked, as if sothing just occurred to her.
"Hey, have we t sowhere before?"
"No, I don't think so."
I replied calmly.
She tilted her head at my answer.
"Is that so... that's strange. Your face doesn't seem unfamiliar."
She seed to ponder sothing for a mont.
"Ah, right, the forbidden library. There was quite a stir because of that for a while.
I think I might have seen you at the disciplinary committee eting. Wasn't it said you didn't cause trouble?"
"Because you were the one who did it."
Estelle's expression stiffened for a mont, then beca laced with a smile again.
"? Why?"
"I don't know. Just, because it felt like it."
As she had done before, Estelle swiftly snatched the cigarette I was smoking from my hand and looked at with narrowed, intrigued eyes.
"How much do you know?"
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