Escape (1)
It felt like my lungs were constricting.
Whether my eyes were closed or open, there was only one thing I could see.
Red.
Neither very large nor very bright, yet it was a blaze that undeniably devoured my entire body.
The sensation of my skin lting away was vivid.
The disgusting sll of burning flesh and hair, rising into the air and filling my nose.
It hadn't been long since the mont I couldn't even let out a scream, yet my body was intact.
I wasn't burning.
Yet it still felt like I was burning.
Certainly, I wasn't in pain now.
But it hurt sowhere.
It definitely hurt sowhere.
Cold sweat trickled down my spine, dampening my shirt.
I hyperventilated, my shoulders heaving rapidly.
There wasn't a single ember in this room, yet my skin still felt hot.
[Collect the Ending. 3/?]
[Current Collected Reward: Lingering Trace]
[Reward: Return to Original World, ??]
The pale, bluish letters that appeared before my eyes wavered faintly.
Though a changed ssage was visible, my mind couldn't properly process the information.
After fumbling with my hands, I staggered to my feet.
I needed sothing to lean on.
As if by habit, I fumbled in my pocket and took out a cigarette and a matchbox.
With a familiar motion, I put a cigarette in my mouth.
The problem was what ca next.
I opened the matchbox, took out a matchstick, and struck it.
With the sound of it scraping against the striking surface, my hand froze at that mont.
Hiss—
My body stiffened like a stone.
The orange fla that blood from the small match head.
It burned the wood, then soon touched my fingertip, leaving a small singe mark, and then simply went out.
The hand holding the match trembled as if convulsing.
I powerlessly dropped the completely burned-out matchstick onto the floor.
The cigarette remained in my mouth, but I couldn't light it.
With a peculiar feeling, I walked to the drawer and first took out a revolver.
Slowly, I loaded the bullets one by one, then tucked it into my waistband.
Only then did the anxious feeling I had felt seem to subside a little.
If it hadn't been for Seraphina.
If only I hadn't loved Seraphina.
If only I hadn't gone around with Estelle.
If only I hadn't felt an attraction to Estelle.
If only I had listened to Levina.
No, before that, if the circumstances had allowed to listen to Levina.
If only Seraphina had accepted .
If only Seraphina hadn't abandoned .
If only Estelle hadn't left my side.
If only Estelle had stayed by my side.
Thoughts arose fragntarily in my mind.
Nothing seed to connect for long.
[Collect the Ending. 3/?]
[Current Collected Reward: Lingering Trace]
[Reward: Return to Original World, ??]
"......I don't want to die."
I stood still for a mont, then wandered aimlessly around the room.
Six steps to the left, eight steps to the right.
There was no particular reason.
Faint light was seeping through a gap in the window.
It must be morning.
I hated the light.
I drew the curtains.
The thick curtains perfectly blocked out the light.
And then I just sat on the edge of the bed, motionless.
Cold sweat still poured from my body like flowing water.
The sensation of my shirt sticking to my skin was unpleasant.
Then, a familiar letter envelope placed on the table caught my eye.
High-quality parchnt I had personally chosen, emanating a subtle fragrance.
A lilac design, which Seraphina, that girl, had said she uniquely liked, was small-engraved on the envelope's right corner.
A letter, huh.
Seraphina had burned the letter, hadn't she.
In front of , the letter I wrote.
Saying everything I gave her was disgusting.
Seraphina had burned to death, hadn't she.
Kyle, that fucking bastard, ca with her to find , and...
What had I been thinking when I ca back before?
I had even tried begging Seraphina like a dog, asking her to love , to please not abandon .
It seems I did sothing similar, but I was abandoned anyway, wasn't I?
Once again, I got up and wandered around the room for a long ti like a lost, whimpering dog, then sat on the sofa, just rubbing my face with my hands.
The sensations wouldn't leave my body.
Creak—
With a familiar sound, the door opened.
The unpleasant creak of an old hinge.
"You really did quit smoking, it seems. Anyway, why did you call here, then... Lavin?"
A voice ca from behind .
It was Seraphina.
As always, she carried a faint lilac scent.
"Lavin, are you okay?"
She approached and asked.
Her voice was tinged with worry.
It was the voice I always heard, yet it sounded sohow different.
"Ah, yeah. I'm okay. I'm just feeling a little unwell."
I answered, trying to act as if nothing was wrong.
But my voice wouldn't co out properly.
She looked around the room.
Her characteristic footsteps echoed on the floor.
And she gazed for a long ti at the wall where traces of sothing that used to hang there remained.
Before, a landscape painting she had given as a birthday present hung there.
Now, only a nail mark remained in its place, like a scar.
"You said we'd et today, Lavin."
I didn't answer.
She sat on the edge of my bed and looked at .
We didn't say anything for a while.
Silence settled between us.
It wasn't particularly awkward.
Then Seraphina suddenly approached .
With dazed, vacant eyes, as if she were possessed or had taken so kind of drug.
She stopped right in front of , extended a trembling hand, and wrapped it around my neck.
Flinch.
Cold fingers brushed my nape.
I got goosebumps.
Seraphina's touch felt unpleasant.
For the first ti. For the first ti since coming here.
She looked at with vacant, as if possessed, eyes.
And then she slowly caressed my neck, shoulder, and arm.
As if trying to confirm sothing.
When her touch reached my arm, I grabbed her hand.
And gently pulled it away.
Seraphina stared at blankly for a long ti, then her body trembled once, startled.
And then she muttered very softly, as if to herself.
"......Ah."
She looked down at her own hand.
And looked at again.
Her eyes were wavering.
"You seed to be in pain just now... and I saw sothing strange. I'm sorry."
Seraphina stepped back and sank onto the sofa.
Once again, silence fell upon the room.
This ti, it was the suffocating kind of silence, rather than a familiar one.
Seraphina looked at the letter lying on the table and said in a low voice.
"You wrote another letter."
"I did."
"Can I read it?"
I didn't answer.
Seraphina seed to take that as tacit agreent and began to open the letter envelope on the table.
The rustling sound was unusually loud.
But before she could take out the letter and read it, I snatched the envelope from her hand.
Seraphina's fingers were left hanging in the air.
Without a word, I neatly folded the letter and put it back inside the envelope.
"You......"
She barely managed to open her mouth.
Her voice was faint, as if subrged in water.
"Don't bring up the engagent being broken off."
"......Where did you hear that?"
"It's obvious, if it's sothing you're going to say."
"Then why on earth are you acting as if nothing happened?"
"If I beg here, will you accept ?"
"You're still, nothing, not a single thing has changed, yet you, Lavin..."
I stood up and approached her.
Grabbing Seraphina's shoulders, I leaned my face close to hers.
My reflection was visible in her eyes.
"Don't call Lavin."
"Ah, then shall I call you the good-for-nothing young master of Edelgard?"
"Do as you please. In front of you, I'm always that kind of person anyway."
"Not just in front of , but anyone......"
"Even if I tried to change my reputation, donating to orphanages and spending money to sponsor poor children, it was all for naught. Indeed. Even if I trust you, no one trusts . Everything I did was frad as sothing you pressured into, to the point where even you didn't trust , so that says it all."
"That... that, I'm sorry."
As always, Seraphina bit her lower lip and looked up at .
Tears welled in the corners of her eyes, but she didn't cry.
Once again, the conversation broke off, and only Seraphina's agitated breathing echoed in the room.
"Being next to you just makes miserable. It feels like whatever I do, what kind of person I am is already decided."
"What you've done until now is......"
"What have I done until now?! Did I fucking do sothing wrong enough to burn to death?!"
"Wha-what are you saying right now... Ugh, urp..."
Seraphina's eyes widened instantly.
Her gaze was on , but her focus was blurred, as if she was looking at sothing else.
She hastily covered her mouth and retched.
Flustered for a mont, I released my hand from her shoulder.
Seraphina brought a handkerchief to her mouth and was still dry heaving.
Fortunately, nothing actually soiled the floor.
I wanted to smoke a cigarette.
Even though I've beco a useless idiot who can't even light a fire now.
My head is a ss.
"You tell I don't change, always saying I'm the sa. But it's you who hasn't changed, isn't it? You don't consider anything that's happened since childhood. Right, because it's only Seraphina, you. It's not like I was in a position to speak to Levina anyway."
"......Are you saying this is how things turned out because I, ugh, couldn't properly help you since childhood?"
"No. This is how it turned out because you don't trust . Even if I die, you wouldn't trust , would you? Before we were fiancés, we weren't even friends. Because we can't trust each other."
I took out the letter envelope I had put away earlier and simply tore it up.
Pieces of paper, stained with the scent of lilac, scattered onto the floor.
"Or Seraphina, I'll do anything you say. Even if you tell to die right now, I'll die for you. If you tell to change, I'll change. If I say let's live just the two of us, will you agree?"
Seraphina was about to nod but couldn't say anything.
Her lips rely parted a few tis.
Although I knew she was the kind of person who would follow if pushed, I didn't want to do that either.
"Being with you is agonizing."
I stood up.
And left the room without a word.
I didn't even close the door.
I didn't want to see her.
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