Delusion (3)
I opened the church door and stepped outside.
I left Estelle with a rather absurd promise, sothing about visiting her occasionally.
She rely sat up from her spot, watching with an unreadable expression.
I slowly walked along the path leading to the dormitory.
With every step I took, my ssed-up uniform felt cumberso.
My entire body seed to ache, yet at the sa ti, it didn't.
I returned to my room, passing through the sohow darkened path.
I gripped the familiar doorknob and turned it.
With a creak, the door opened, and I stepped into the room.
And then, I stopped dead in my tracks.
Levina was sitting on the sofa in the room.
She sat with her legs crossed, calmly looking out the window as if it were her own room.
She shouldn't have been here at this hour.
At least, not as far as I could rember.
There was nothing on the table, nor in Levina's hand.
There was no sign of the letter envelope she always brought to this room, shoving it at , containing the news of my expulsion from the family.
"Why did you suddenly co at this late hour?"
My voice was, without realizing it, a little hoarse.
She slowly turned her head and looked at .
Her gaze slowly swept over , from my head to my toes, taking in my ssed-up uniform.
Though she didn't say anything particular.
"Can't an older sister even visit her younger brother's room?"
"I wonder."
I closed the door and stepped further into the room.
The sound of the door closing echoed unusually loudly.
"And yet, you told not to crawl around the mansion."
"This isn't the mansion."
Levina shrugged and replied.
She nonchalantly rose from her seat and walked towards the liquor bottles I had stacked in the corner.
She picked one up and lightly shook it.
"And back then, I was a bit cornered myself."
Saying that, she took out two glasses from the cupboard.
She placed one in front of herself, and the other on the table near .
Then, she opened the bottle and poured liquor into her glass.
The sound of the amber liquid filling the glass quietly echoed in the room.
"Did you hear from Seraphina about the broken engagent?"
Levina raised her glass, took a sip, and asked nonchalantly.
I sat on the sofa opposite her, and didn't answer the question.
"You haven't heard, then."
Levina clicked her tongue.
"That child gets swayed this way and that, she can't do anything properly.
I'm sure she couldn't even speak properly in front of you."
She got up and began to slowly walk around the room.
The sound of her heels lightly tapped against the floor.
"Don't bring up Seraphina."
"Why? You two are going to end things soon anyway."
"She didn't help at all. If anything, she only got in the way."
At my words, her steps faltered for a mont.
She slowly turned around and looked at .
"No. She's not the kind of girl you'd want by your side."
At least, Levina had never belittled Seraphina in front of Lavin.
Unless she had spoken as if Seraphina wasn't good enough for Lavin.
"Then why do you think that?"
"Just a hunch."
"It's the first ti I've heard such nonsense co out of your mouth."
"......Nonsense, you say."
Levina cleared her throat with a small cough.
"Anyway, isn't it better this way?
There's nothing good about being involved with soone like her.
She's a child who's never once defended you in front of because she's afraid of , so she's certainly not wife material."
"If you're going to pick apart every single thing like that, then who would ever be suitable for soone like ?"
At those words, Levina's lips parted a few tis as she looked at , but in the end, she said nothing.
She turned her body again and stood in front of the landscape painting on the wall.
It was the painting Seraphina had gifted .
She silently gazed at the painting for a long ti.
"You cleaned up nicely. Last ti I ca, it was practically an animals den."
Her voice was sohow ambiguous.
Levina returned to the table and poured more liquor into her glass.
Then, she filled the empty glass placed in front of as well.
"Drink."
I hesitated for a mont.
I picked up the glass.
At least, it didn't seem like Levina would poison in this manner.
I emptied the glass.
The alcohol slid down my throat with a familiar sensation.
Levina emptied her glass twice in quick succession.
Then, placing her glass down on the table, she said in a low voice.
"Oh, right. I ca to tell you this. I'm going to expel you from the family."
I didn't reply.
I rely looked down at my empty glass.
I only felt that what was coming, had co.
"Why, are you shocked? Still, there's no need to worry much."
A faint hesitation was mixed in her voice.
I let out a hollow laugh.
"No. I was just waiting for when I'd be expelled."
At my calm reaction, Levina's expression montarily turned blank.
She blinked a few tis.
"......Of course, I just said that."
After a long pause, she opened her mouth.
"Just, don't use the Edelgard na outside.
Your life won't be much different from how it's been so far."
"Then why bother expelling ?"
"Because your reputation is so terrible, it's practically scraping the bottom.
And the forbidden library, you know? That one low-ranking noble student who died."
"And you know very well that I didn't do it."
"Of course, I know."
Levina spoke as if she was trying to soothe .
Her voice was sowhat pathetic.
"That's why. That's why I'm expelling you.
The idiots overflowing in this world think being expelled from the family is a more cruel fate than having your head cut off."
At the sa ti, her right eye twitched uncontrollably, and a single tear traced a path down her cheek.
I didn't bother to point it out.
Levina lightly wiped it away with the back of her hand and naturally continued speaking.
"Still, you're still my younger brother, and a mber of Edelgard.
It's just, officially. You and I will be nothing to each other.
Like a normal noble heir and a bastard child."
Her voice had regained its original composure.
But it also seed to subtly waver.
"It's not bad, is it?
After you graduate from the academy, and after I beco the family head, if I think I can reasonably push back against Mother, who will fuss whenever she sees you, I'll even arrange a space for you in the main estate.
You can live there, helping with my work."
Levina added, slightly gauging my reaction.
"If possible, I'd like you to quit the academy and live in the annex. I'll visit often."
"Since when?"
"What do you an?"
Levina asked back, not understanding.
"Since when have you been thinking such things?
About the annex, or bringing to the main estate."
Levina pondered for a mont.
Her gaze was fixed sowhere in the air.
"Well. Perhaps since you were about ten, when Mother tried to kill you.
What does it matter now?"
At those words, I t Levina's eyes.
I was about to say sothing, but then I just closed my mouth.
"Just, don't use the Edelgard na outside.
I'll provide you with everything you want or need. That way will be much better for you. You won't have to worry about anyone's opinion."
"That's better for ?"
My voice ca out colder than I intended.
Levina's shoulders flinched.
"Yes. That's the best option. The best I can think of."
"It would be the best, wouldn't it."
I fiddled with the empty glass.
The cold touch of the glass was vivid on my fingertips.
Indeed, living in the annex had been comfortable.
It also felt like I had sowhat escaped from the things that bound .
However, whenever I idly did nothing, the image of Lineta hanging dead before my eyes would flash past.
Even if I closed my eyes to sleep, even if I closed them for a mont.
The sour and repulsive sll that emanated from the corpse hanging from the ceiling.
And yet, the subtly remaining, unpleasant warmth.
When I pulled the rope, which wouldn't co undone with one hand, with both hands, it instantly loosened, and the dull thud of the corpse hitting the floor.
Swallowing those thoughts, I faced Levina as calmly as possible.
It wasn't as easy as I thought.
"I trust you. I trust that my older sister will do that."
I placed the glass down on the table.
I picked up the bottle and slowly poured liquor into my glass.
But I didn't drink it.
"Still, you can't do that right now, can you?"
At my words, Levina was about to say sothing, but then she closed her mouth.
How many tis would I see her eyes waver slightly?
Now, it almost felt a little boring.
I stood up.
And slowly walked towards Levina.
I picked up the glass in front of her, the one with half its liquor remaining.
She looked up at without a word.
I drained all the remaining liquor from her glass.
Then, I set the empty glass back on the table, picked up the bottle, and filled it again.
A faint lipstick mark, perhaps from her, remained on the glass, likely due to her body heat.
"Once I graduate, I'll do everything as you say, older sister. So for a while, just overlook whatever I do."
Levina stared blankly at the glass I had poured for her.
Then she raised her gaze to look at .
She slowly picked up the glass.
And then, she brought her lips to the very spot where mine had been, and drank the liquor.
"......As long as it's not too big of a mishap."
She said, setting the glass down.
"So, what are you going to do?"
"Well, I don't know. But I have to do sothing."
Levina didn't ask further.
Silence fell in the room once more.
We didn't speak for a long ti.
Only the liquor bottle and two glasses lay on the table.
Levina picked up a few cigarette butts from the ashtray, put them down again, and then opened her mouth.
"You seem to have cut down on smoking quite a bit."
"Perhaps."
"Next ti I visit, I'll bring you sothing. Is there anything you want?"
I shook my head, and with that, she looked at for a mont before getting up and leaving the room.
I didn't bother to get up and see her off.
No matter how you look at it, she's not normal.
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