Delusion (14)
I ca up from the basent.
The stairs felt sohow damp.
Once I ca up, Estelle was perched on a chair, juggling apples.
"What did you do with the man who was rolling around with the Duchess?"
"Oh, that old guy?"
Estelle stopped juggling, bit into an apple, and replied.
A crisp crunch echoed through the empty church.
"I was just going to take him away quietly, but he started screaming.
So I just killed him and dumped him in the forest."
Her voice was light and cheerful, as usual.
Estelle ca closer to .
Her silver hair shimred in the faint candlelight.
"Don't worry."
She whispered, gently stroking my cheek.
"By now, he's probably been eaten by wild animals anyway."
"It's not that I was worried about that."
I didn't push her hand away.
"Levina will co to my room on a weekend morning.
We'll just ride out in a carriage together."
I picked up one of the apples Estelle had been juggling and bit into it.
The sweetness spread in my mouth.
"The place where students sotis go for classes? Are you talking about there?"
"That's right."
"It doesn't seem like a very good place for just the two of us to go on a picnic."
Estelle shrugged.
"I suppose not. Anyway, I should get going now. It's getting late."
As I said that and was about to leave the church and return to my room, Estelle grabbed my wrist.
At first, the hand that had gripped my wrist slid down slightly, then held onto the edge of my sleeve and wouldn't let go.
"About the marriage talk, I brought it up lightly, but I was serious."
She looked directly at and said.
Her crimson eyes shone very brightly.
"It's getting late. Good night."
Estelle said that and released her grip.
I softly returned her "good night" and then turned my back and walked away.
Returning to my room, I sat on the edge of the bed.
I took out a pipe and firmly packed it with tobacco leaves.
Then, I took out the small box containing the powder Levina had given .
I hesitated for a long ti.
In the end, I didn't sprinkle the powder.
I struck a match and lit the tobacco leaves.
I inhaled the smoke deeply.
I lay on the bed and smoked for a long ti, then closed my eyes as I was.
But I couldn't fall asleep.
The next morning, Levina ca, handed a new box containing dicine, and left.
But I didn't use it.
And the day after that, and the night before the planned picnic with Levina, I still couldn't sleep properly.
Even with my eyes open, the world seed blurry.
But I could sohow endure it.
Because it felt like I was doing sothing.
****
Dawn light filtered through the uncurtained window.
I couldn't sleep all night because so many things ca to mind whenever I closed my eyes.
I got out of bed and retrieved the revolver I had kept in the drawer.
The cold sensation of tal was distinct in my palm.
With a familiar motion, I tucked it into my waistband.
I sat on the edge of the bed and aimlessly watched ti pass.
Before I knew it, bird songs could be heard from outside the window.
And soon after, I heard soone knocking on the door.
Knock, knock.
I got up from my spot and walked to the entrance.
I opened the door.
Levina was standing there.
"Good morning."
I was about to say that.
But Levina saw my face and made a surprised expression.
She approached and gently touched under my eyes with her thumb.
"What happened?"
Her voice held genuine concern.
"No, nothing happened. Why do you ask?"
I asked back.
"Your complexion looks really bad.
Is there anything you need or want to eat?"
"I'm fine."
I shook my head.
"It's just that I don't feel like seeing people these days.
How about we just take a walk in that small forest to the east?"
A faint smile spread across Levina's face.
"Anywhere, as long as I go with you, it doesn't matter."
She replied that way.
I followed her to where the carriage was prepared.
But it was strange.
There wasn't a single servant.
Not even the coachman.
"Where have all the servants gone?"
When I asked, Levina ca closer to .
She pressed her body slightly against mine, and then pushed so that my back touched the carriage.
There was no space to step back.
In the midst of that, there was a subtle scent of an unknown perfu.
"We said we'd go alone, didn't we, Lavin? Don't you rember?"
Levina said in a whisper.
Then she naturally pulled away, climbed in, and looked back at .
"I've prepared all the snacks and food, so there won't be any problems."
I scratched the back of my head.
But I had a feeling that this might actually be better.
I sat down beside Levina.
Levina drove the carriage much better than I had expected.
The horses tried to stray sideways a few tis, but she managed to drive the carriage quite stably.
I looked at Levina's face.
Dark circles were cast under her eyes, and her cheeks seed thinner than usual.
"It seems like you're the one who needs to be worried about, not ."
I said.
At my words, Levina glanced back at for a mont.
"Does my face look... really bad?"
"Rather than bad, you look more tired than last ti."
"Still, if I get to go out with you and rest a bit, I'll be fine.
With so many tasks piling up suddenly, my head feels like it's going to burst, so it's a bit tough."
Levina replied that way, smiling faintly.
That smile seed sowhat precarious.
The carriage drove along the quiet morning street.
Only the sound of wheels rolling on the gravel road and horses' hooves echoed rhythmically.
We didn't speak for a while.
We simply sat side by side, watching the passing scenery.
"When I was little, sotis I'd secretly ride a horse out like this."
Levina spoke first.
"At dawn, without anyone knowing. Just because I felt suffocated."
"And you never got caught?"
"Never. Well, I probably was caught. But they never officially apprehended ."
She said that, smiling faintly.
It was a self-deprecating laugh.
"You, never did anything like that?"
"No. I couldn't even go near horses."
"......Ah."
We fell silent again.
When we seed to have entered deep enough into the forest, Levina stopped the carriage.
She tied the horses to a tree.
anwhile, I took out a mat and a basket of food from the carriage's luggage compartnt.
"I never imagined we'd really co like this, just the two of us."
I said.
Levina turned to and replied.
Her voice was very soft and faint.
"I always wanted to be alone with you like this."
She smiled, her face flushing slightly.
"It is comfortable and nice to be just the two of us like this."
After that, we spread out the mat and ate the food Levina had prepared, and then Levina spoke.
"This might be a bit out of the blue, but I think I'll probably beco the head of the household soon."
"Even though Father is still alive?"
"He called separately and said he would step down."
Levina said it as if it were nothing.
"It's quite troubleso for him to suddenly disappear like this, but then again, Mother is no longer here either.
What about what I said last ti?"
"What you said last ti?"
"After you graduate, just managing the mansion in the main building while living with . I asked you what you thought about that."
"You were serious about that?"
Levina nodded.
"Seraphina, the engagent with that child was postponed, but eventually, it will have to be broken."
"......."
"Count Beluze won't want his daughter to be with you.
He'll probably find a way to use her more valuably."
"......."
"Then there won't be anyone particularly by your side. So stay by my side."
"You don't have anyone by your side right now either, sis."
At my words, Levina smiled brightly.
"Why wouldn't I? Now there's nothing particularly left to get in the way."
She got up from her seat and walked around slightly as she spoke.
Sunlight dappled through the leaves.
"Previously, there were marriage talks with other families, but since I'm the only one who can inherit the family, I said I would choose myself."
Levina looked at and said.
"And I found soone suitable."
"Who is it?"
"You."
"?"
Seeing that I didn't seem as surprised as she expected, Levina's voice trailed off slightly as she continued, seeming a little flustered.
"Still, I thought you might be a little flustered, or even disgusted."
Levina said.
"That's impossible.
While I couldn't help it when I was little, you don't tornt now."
What kind of insincere words should I say?
I pondered for a mont.
"In the end, only family can truly love each other, right?"
Levina still had an unexpressive face with only the corners of her mouth slightly upturned, but at that mont, a tear rolled down from her right eye.
She naturally wiped her eye with her sleeve and then spoke.
Her voice was a little softer than usual.
"If there's anything you want, just say the word. I'll do anything for you."
I thought for a mont, then spoke.
"First, beco the head of the household."
"Ah, yes. I should beco the head of the household first, of course.
I wonder if I spoke too soon."
I got up from my seat and approached Levina.
And pointed sowhere with my finger.
"By the way, sis. Take a look over there."
At my words, Levina turned around.
Her back was visible.
Her hair flowed down over her white blouse.
I fumbled at my waistband and pulled out the revolver.
I aid it directly at Levina's back and pulled the trigger.
A gunshot echoed in the quiet forest.
Birds, startled, flapped their wings and flew up.
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