Delusion (23)
For a while, I slowly caught my breath.
It was as if my mind had forgotten the process of filling my lungs with air and expelling it again, just because air hadn't entered for a mont.
I got up from my spot.
My neck felt sohow stinging and burning, so I touched it with my hand.
Red blood stained my fingertips.
If I went to Estelle, the situation would likely beco even more awkward.
She would undoubtedly ask what happened, and if I told her exactly what occurred, she would surely deal with Seraphina in Estelle's own way.
Then I would have to concoct another plausible lie, but no good excuses ca to mind.
For now, I took a handkerchief from my pocket and roughly wiped the blood from my neck.
And then I returned to the library.
I picked up the book that had fallen to the floor and sat back down in the spot I had occupied earlier.
I opened the book.
I now understood, at least a little, what the arrangent of characters ant, and I felt like I roughly knew how to use them; I was starting to get a feel for it.
However, my body was excessively lacking in mana.
I understood it in my head, but if asked to actually use it, I couldn't do anything without magic stones.
Magic stones were also ridiculously expensive, so it was only recently, after becoming Head, that I could barely get my hands on them.
I casually gathered the books I had been reading and left the library.
The path back to my room felt unusually long.
Perhaps because my appearance was quite a ss, I could even hear whispers about .
After becoming the Head of the esteed Edelgard family, albeit an inadequate one, such incidents had been rare.
I returned to my room.
Upon opening the door, I saw Lineta cleaning.
She was about to greet but was startled upon seeing my appearance.
She nearly dropped the duster she was holding.
"Young Master!"
She rushed over to , and was about to touch my neck, but stopped her hand.
Then she asked with a worried expression.
"You, you're hurt, but are you alright w-walking around like this?"
"It's fine."
I said that and sat down on a chair.
My body felt weak.
Without having to say anything, Lineta naturally took two teacups from the cupboard and placed them on the table.
Then she mixed several types of dried tea leaves into the teapot.
As she poured hot water, a faint grassy aroma rose with the steam.
It slled like a distant country morning.
"Here."
I took the teacup Lineta handed to .
"Thank you."
I drank the warm tea.
Warmth slowly spread through my cold body.
"It might be presumptuous of to ask, but still... may I ask why you got hurt?"
Lineta asked cautiously.
"Just, got into a slight quarrel, and this happened."
I tried to dismiss it casually.
"For 'just a slight quarrel,' the thin handprints on your neck look like they've been scorched by fire.
And there's blood flowing, Young Master."
Lineta ca closer to .
Her eyes held genuine concern.
"May I help you with sothing?"
I replied that anything was fine.
Then she pulled out a small bottle from her pocket.
When she opened the lid, a grassy sll mingled with a sowhat stale, pungent odor, as if sothing old had been kept inside.
It was almost like the sll of damp forest soil.
"It's sothing they made in my village, and this one bottle will make everything better!"
Lineta said.
Her voice was bright.
Although I was slightly skeptical, I lifted my head as if telling her to apply it.
With a bright expression, Lineta applied the ointnt to her hand.
Then she thickly spread it on my neck.
As the cold ointnt touched the wound, it stung slightly.
She brought a pristine white cloth from sowhere and wrapped it around my neck.
"How do you feel?"
"Just put it on, so I don't know yet."
"That's true!"
Lineta replied.
She hesitated for a mont, then opened her mouth again.
"By the way, do you have any plans to visit the area around the annex?"
"Why the area around the annex?"
"Because I was hoping you'd visit our village, like I ntioned last ti!"
"Not yet. Estelle... no, after I marry the Saintess, I might have so free ti."
Lineta fell silent after hearing that.
Then she asked cautiously.
"Even then, would it be alright for to continue working by your side like this?"
Now, it was even hard to pretend, even just with words, that I would do anything for her.
Thanks to that, I had beco Head, but the situation had gone wildly awry and was in chaos.
"I don't know."
I replied.
The conversation ended there.
Lineta quietly cleared the teacups and left the room.
I began reading the book once more.
Reciting the passages from the book, I tried using a spell with a magic stone.
I extended my right hand.
Holding the magic stone, I softly chanted the passage I had read from the book.
My voice trembled faintly.
A faint, hazy fla, like a heat shimr, rose above my palm.
It was a small, precarious fla, but intensely hot.
I gazed at the fla for a long ti.
Its power was ambiguous even for self-defense, but still, being able to use magic myself instead of just seeing it was enjoyable in its own way.
The spells I used as a child seed to have been stronger than this even without magic stones, but the past is the past anyway.
And they are 'Lavin's' mories, not my own.
Nevertheless, this uncool spell was entirely mine.
Even though it was power borrowed from soone, power gained by deceiving soone.
After all, I could only do this by driving out Levina and flattering Estelle to obtain my position, then spending money like water.
I kept the section about imbuing spells into magic stones for use when needed open, nibbled on the snacks Lineta had brought, and slowly passed the ti.
****
Ti passed quite quickly.
Much faster than I had anticipated.
I realized for the first ti that if one simply avoids getting tangled up with people, getting pushed around, or having conflicts, ti can flow this rapidly.
I also graduated from the academy.
Usually, ordinary noble lords would recruit talented individuals from here, but since there was no one for to follow, attending as a mber of the Edelgard family seed to hold little significance.
However, perhaps it's a small rcy that I've clumsily learned how to use spells.
The most regrettable part is that I can no longer enter the forbidden library to read books.
But during the remaining ti, I roughly, albeit a bit ungracefully, mostly mastered how to use spells, even if it was just throwing stones.
It was a thod of imbuing spells into magic stones and simply throwing them.
Occasionally, the family's vassals, old knights, and even Levina would co to tell to curb my spending a little, but it had been a long ti since I told them that if things really went bad, they should just sell all the family's valuables and treasures.
That wasn't a particularly important matter.
Ominous rumors circulated that demons had invaded a border region, destroying a certain territory, or that an entire kingdom had been annihilated, and quite a few refugees had entered the Edelgard domain, yet none of it felt like a matter of great importance.
Whether I hanged myself in my room, shot myself in the head, burned to death in the plaza, or fell to my death from the annex, to the people living in the world, it would simply be an entertaining curiosity, not an important event.
The sa applied to .
After all, my wedding with Estelle was soon.
The church decided that the wedding wouldn't be grand, but rather modest, and the festivals would be scaled down, considering our status and the current unfavorable circumstances.
A few days before the wedding, Estelle and I went to see the downtown area, which felt sohow much more desolate compared to before.
We shared snacks while looking down at the street from the second floor of a cafe.
"So it's really okay for us to get married."
"I even told you the doctrine last ti. It's a lie that you faithfully attended church, isn't it?"
Estelle asked.
"I tried to attend faithfully, but it wasn't easy since there was little to say."
"By the way, rember what you said before?"
Estelle brought it up.
"What did I say before?"
"That you had no intention of having children with ."
Estelle took a sip of coffee, moistened her lips, and then set down her cup.
"Has your mind changed yet?"
I gazed out the window.
People walked by on the street, their faces expressionless.
"I'm sorry."
I replied.
At my words, Estelle ground her teeth, but then smiled and said.
"It's alright. I'll change your mind."
In truth, there's nothing to change.
Estelle would surely love a child just as much as she loved .
"Because if you live with , every day will be happy.
Because I'll make you believe that we can surely love the child that's born."
If she can cling to soone like and say she loves to this extent, then if a child is born, that child will surely grow up happily and loved.
"I hope that can be."
I waved my hand in the air.
[Collect the Ending. 4/?]
[Currently collected rewards: Lingering Trace, Afterimage, Traces]
[Reward: ???, □□]
If only this wouldn't appear.
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