Delusion (28)
I went down the stairs.
With both hands, I pushed open the grand main gate of the empty mansion, devoid of servants, and watched Estelle's retreating figure as she leisurely walked away for a long ti.
Her pure white hair was strikingly vivid beneath the ash-grey sky.
Like footprints left on a snow-covered field.
Before the door closed, she didn't look back.
My eyes t Seraphina's, who was looking at from beside .
"What have I done?"
I murmured softly. It felt as if a voice was echoing inside .
"Do you love her?"
Seraphina asked. Her voice was quiet, but it felt as though it filled my mind.
In the past, I would have uttered words like, 'I think I love her,' or 'Maybe I love her.'
But now, I didn't want to utter such ambiguous words. I didn't want to say such things to soone who loved so much, and in this final mont. Though it's ridiculous to be doing this only now.
"Yes, I love her."
I answered, looking into Seraphina's eyes.
Upon hearing those words, Seraphina seed to stop breathing for a mont.
Then she asked again.
"Then, before we broke off our engagent, did you love ?"
"I did."
"As much as the Saintess?"
I couldn't answer that. I don't rember. Even if I did rember, I wouldn't have known.
Because no madman counts the exact amount of love while loving soone.
One knows whether they do or don't, but not how much.
"I don't rember."
"In the past, you would have probably told you loved more, even if it was a lie."
Seraphina smiled faintly. It was a sad smile, barely lifting the corners of her lips.
"I'm sorry."
"No, it's, it's all my fault for ruining everything."
Seraphina shed tears from her one remaining eye. The tears flowed down over her scars.
She wiped her tears with her sleeve and said. Her voice was trying hard to sound cheerful.
"Ah, I ant to keep smiling until I died, but it's not working out."
I took out a handkerchief from my pocket. I was about to wipe them myself, but feeling an inexplicable distance, I handed it to Seraphina. She looked back and forth between my hand and the handkerchief for a mont, then carefully accepted it.
"I want to remain beautiful and smiling in your eyes. Even though I'm a ss right now."
"You're beautiful enough even now."
Upon hearing my words, Seraphina gazed at blankly for a long ti. Then she approached and took my hand. Her hand was cold and incredibly rough, incomparable to how it was before.
"You're still beautiful just like before, but I've changed so much."
And then, slowly, she caressed my eyebrows, lips, cheeks, and nose. Her fingertips brushed across my face. For soone touching a young man's face, her touch was quite cautious.
"My left eye is gone, and I'm covered in scars.
And my hands are so rough, you wouldn't believe they belong to a girl."
I felt dizzy. Levina, Estelle, and Seraphina becoming like this, it was all because of .
As I staggered backward with dizziness, Seraphina stepped forward and approached .
"If I had approached you like this sooner, if I had ignored what others said as I do now, if I hadn't thought you would always be by my side, if I hadn't treated you carelessly, if I had been able to act as I wished... I wouldn't be standing before you in this state now."
Unable to think of any answer to Seraphina's words, I rely smiled. For fear that if I said anything, she would cry. Seraphina didn't seem to want to cry.
"When you were going through a hard ti, it was the Saintess who was by your side, not , wasn't it?"
"I was never going through a hard ti. It's all because of my own mistakes, isn't it?"
At those words, Seraphina shook her head.
"You don't have to try to comfort like before."
Seraphina's right eye was still moist with tears.
"Though I hate her, should I still consider it a blessing that I can be with you in the end?"
Saying so, Seraphina grinded her teeth, then took my hand, led into the office, and closed the door.
"If you're married, then you've shared intimacy, haven't you?"
She continued speaking, looking around the office and walking about inside. As if she were looking around her own room.
"It's the end anyway, couldn't you do it for too?
You said you used to love ......"
Before I could even answer, Seraphina began to undress herself. She took off her top and lowered the skirt she was wearing. After that, she neatly folded her clothes and placed them on a chair nearby.
Her body also had a great many scars. A long scar was visible, stretching from her shoulder all the way down to her left hip.
Seraphina then tried to remove her underwear, but her hand stopped. And remaining still for a long ti in that paused state, she suddenly started crying and looked at .
", why did I end up like this?"
Tears, flowing from only one eye, coursed over the scars, gathered at her chin, and then fell towards the floor.
"It seems I'm still only hoping to compensate you.
Even though you're not the kind of person who gains sothing in exchange for a body."
Saying she was sorry, Seraphina clumsily put her clothes back on. Watching Seraphina, I didn't say much, but uttered words that didn't quite fit the situation.
"Why don't we go eat so chocolate cookies?"
Seraphina replied with a smile.
"Those are your favorite, aren't they? Though I like them too.
I also want to eat bread with plenty of cream on top."
****
Had about four days passed since then?
The sounds of explosions, screams, and enraged shouts from outside the window grew much closer. Sotis, Estelle's figure could be seen flashing past, fighting right outside the window.
Her white hair flashed like lightning amidst the explosions and dust, then disappeared.
The mansion was overflowing with people who were dying, or had lost limbs.
The corridors reeked of rot and blood. It felt like living in a massive slaughterhouse.
Occasionally, Demons entered the first floor, and battles would erupt. Each ti, walls collapsed and dust rained down from the ceiling.
Estelle was probably dead. Her figure hadn't been seen for so ti.
Levina looked at Seraphina, who was clinging to my side, with a complex expression and said.
"Lavin. I'll go first."
"You won't stay here?"
"There's no point in having two mages here anyway."
Levina took her staff and a small dagger, then walked out of the mansion through the already open door.
"Lavin, tell you were happy because of your sister."
"......I was happy because of you, sister."
Upon hearing those words, Levina's back trembled slightly, but she didn't look back.
I left the office door open, and also threw open the windows. And then, I leaned back in the chair and lay there.
Seraphina stood behind , hugging tightly, until a great explosion and tremor ca, whereupon she slowly loosened her arms and stretched.
And before walking out of the office, she turned back and asked.
"Can you tell you love , Lavin?"
"I love you, Seraphina."
At those words, Seraphina smiled and stepped outside. Her footsteps were light, as if she were going for a stroll.
From outside, shouts, screams, the sound of sothing being crushed, and explosions ceaselessly echoed.
Without getting up from my seat, I took out a pipe from my pocket and tightly packed tobacco leaves into it. I sprinkled a little of the white powder Levina had piled up and occasionally handed onto it, then created fire from my fingertip to light the tobacco.
Roughly several hours must have passed. The noisy mansion gradually grew quiet. The dying screams of soone, the sound of gurgling blood, and footsteps walking through the mansion could be heard.
And then the sound of footsteps gradually drew closer, until soone walked into the office.
A red-haired Demon, wearing clean clothes that seed to proudly announce their high status, with a single horn growing on the left side of their head, walked in, saw rely puffing on a pipe, and made a blank expression.
"You sll like ."
The Demon said. He drew a sword from his waist and asked.
"Are you also one of our kind who infiltrated?"
"Like you, you say. I don't know what you an."
At that, Lineta, with an incredibly flustered face, poked only her head out from the office door and shouted.
"M-master! You-you have to answer well! You know! How ill-tempered he is!"
"Lineta? Where have you been, suddenly here......"
"Anyway, you must speak well! I have things to do!"
As her eyes t the Demon's, she stuck out her tongue and blew a raspberry, then disappeared sowhere.
It felt as if my head had beco a jumble. Even normally, my mind wasn't particularly quick, but now it was incredibly dizzy.
However, I would die soon. And then, I would go back again, to that boring academy room.
"There's no way I'm one of your kind.
It's not like I'm fucking ugly like you guys are."
At those words, the Demon gnashed his teeth. It seed they were actually aware of how terribly ugly they were. Since they probably never t anyone else normally, they must have definitely developed their appearances however they damn well pleased.
"State your na."
"All I can tell you is that I am the Duke of Edelgard."
"I've only seen kings and nobles fleeing, but there is one among those who lead humans who knows honor."
The Demon said, grinning unpleasantly.
"Unlike other humans, you don't have an unpleasant scent, so even though your words are utterly disagreeable, I shall specially allow you to speak your last."
I leaned back as if lying in the chair, then inhaled more strongly the smoke flowing from the pipe, and exhaled.
"Fuck off."
At my reply, the Demon's face crumpled.
Before long, in an instant, my limbs were severed, my torso split in half, and my vision soared towards the sky. My eyes t the sword-wielding Demon, and before long, my head spun, and the cross-section of my severed neck ca into view.
The scenery beyond the window, which I had glimpsed, was truly beautiful.
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