Morning ca with the scent of sugar, spice and sothing I wisely chose not to ask about.
Ordinarily, Coppelia and I would signal our departure from any village, town or market by first patroning whichever bakery enticed us with the most shaless offers.
By doing so, we not only secured crucial provisions for the day ahead, but also instilled the importance of bribery when it ca to earning royal favours.
Today, however … things were different.
Being a bridge catering towards travellers, ruffians and rchants, alcohol was plentiful but hazelnut croissants were few and far between. And since the proprietor of the only local bakery had officially vanished under mysterious circumstances, drastic asures were required.
So drastic, in fact, that I didn’t know what variety of croissant Coppelia was currently making.
Rather–
“Hmm.”
I wasn’t even certain what colour it was.
Here in a kitchen once belonging to a scheming auntie, I stood beside my loyal handmaiden as she kneaded, no tenderised, no … assailed a block of dough in a mixing bowl.
“La la laa lala laa la ♫.”
Yes.
The Bakery de Coppelia was officially open for business.
Despite this, there were no other custors.
Possibly because they could hear the dough squeaking in anguish. Or maybe even the humming helping to drown it.
With a smile as bright as the many mixing bowls already tossed to the side, Coppelia enthusiastically worked to ensure I wouldn’t starve on the road ahead. And while the rainbow nature of the dough was sowhat counterintuitive to my wellbeing, I could at least rest assured in the knowledge that no matter what she made, I’d already been gifted a sight worthy of my delight.
Coppelia wearing an apron.
I smiled with a clap of my hands.
“My, this looks utterly wonderful!”
“Heheh~ you think so, too, huh? This is gonna be amazing.”
I nodded fervently.
In keeping with her delicate nature, Coppelia wasn’t simply mushing dough together.
… Rather, she was mushing dough while wearing appropriate attire as well!
Ohohohoho!
Indeed, as wonderful as it was to see her hard at work, even greater was the sight of her wearing a kitchen staple!
True, the yellow and dotted nature of this particular apron only just about matched her golden hair and did very little for her rosy pink shoes … but even so!
It was still a wondrous premonition for what was to co!
As my loyal handmaiden, it was only fitting for her to be assigned her own uniform. And if a simple apron which she’d need to remove before any witnesses saw looked fitting on her, this ant that co her official uniform, she’d look even better!
I could already picture it in my princess’s eye.
A splendid, bespoke garnt halfway between a dress gown and a traditional maid’s clothing, with enough buttons and ribbons to upstage not only the handmaidens of other princesses, but even the princesses themselves!
Why, she’d look absolutely wonderful!
“Pass~”
“Excuse ?”
“You’re making that suspicious face again. Whatever you’re thinking, the answer is pass.”
“C-Coppelia! I would never think anything suspicious!” I said as my hands asured the width of her shoulders. “Hmm. Frills here should do just fine …”
Coppelia responded with a tilt of her head, her smile becoming oddly fixed.
A mont later, she proceeded to do the only thing to possibly break the image in my head. She scooped up a sacrifice of multi-coloured dough and squeezed it into a ball. Then with a nod of satisfaction, she duly presented it to .
I looked down in appropriate confusion.
“Do … Do you require assistance or … ?”
“Nope. It’s done!”
“Excuse ?”
“Breakfast is done. Also lunch and dinner. I made extras. Loads.”
I continued staring. And not touching.
“O-Oohohoho … is, is that so? That was considerably swifter than what I was expecting. Why, I notice you appear to have used quite a few ingredients. So of which ca from your pouch. Of things. Does it need not, well … baking? Extensively, perhaps?”
“Ahaha~ not at all! It’s ready to eat. This is a smoothie bun.”
“A smoothie bun.”
“Mmh! Give it a try!”
I blinked down at the offered smoothie bun.
Hmm.
How novel.
The world of haute cuisine had once attempted to pass off a lemon ringue tart infused with the acid of a bilebelly toad as a delicacy. Yet even that failed to compare to the feeling of doom I experienced while gazing at the offered smoothie bun.
Coppelia truly was talented.
“My, how wonderful! Despite my princess knowledge regarding all things sweets, pastries and desserts, I’ve never heard of anything so perilous as a smoothie bun before! The texture is so glossy, the colours so innocent and the waft of sugar thick enough to hide what lurks underneath! … It looks almost harmless!”
“I know, right?! Here, take a bite!”
I shook my head with regret.
“Unfortunately, I cannot. As delicious as I’m certain this is, I must savour an important mory to co. My first smoothie bun made by your hands must use the finest ingredients curated and inspected rigorously by the Royal Villa’s kitchen. To do anything else would be an insult to your efforts. Until then, I shall satisfy myself with visual nourishnt. And also leftover strawberry shortcake.”
Coppelia’s turquoise eyes lit up.
Forgotten at once, the smoothie bun fell from her palm. It made a sizzling noise as it struck the floor.
“Ooh, ooh! I–”
I held up my hand at once.
“Absolutely not. You had your share.”
“Booooooooooo~!”
“Boo the receptionists who failed to bribe us with a large enough cake. Until they provide a better one, view this as a lesson in restraint. Cake should be responsibly indulged for all hours of the day, not simply in one go. Or one bite. Joy must be equally spread or else sadness is permitted to fill the void.”
Coppelia puffed up a single cheek.
Fortunately, her disappointnt wasn’t to last. Especially as I poked said cheek.
As the air ejected from her lips and her face returned to normal, so too did her lackadaisicalness as she settled on the next best thing.
A second scoop of a smoothie bun, now tossed straight into her mouth.
“Mmmh~ mystery vomit berries! Just like how I rember.”
As she chewed, an expression of unabashed satisfaction and utter disregard for the lting mixing bowl was bright enough to compete with the morning sunlight. Which was good.
We had a busy itinerary ahead of us leisurely sampling all the crêpes between here and the Royal Villa.
And between them–a single appointnt.
As a draft crept through a hole in the wall caused by soone who all witnesses had sadly missed, a tiny robin flew down and sat upon an exposed brick, its gaze upon the sa thing in the distance as all the eyes in the Wessin Bridge the previous evening.
A distant tower burning like a candle with all its wax alight.
Although the flas had ceased, the smoke still rose. Of the tower itself, nothing but its blackened silhouette remained.
An ominous premonition.
After all–
We hadn’t even encountered Miss Lainsfont again yet, and I was already disappointed.
“Unacceptable,” I said, as I warned the robin away when it peeked at Coppelia’s slowly lting mixing bowl. “That woman has managed to live out the fantasy of every villain without a speck of imagination. She’s awakened with undefined powers of ultimate destruction and the most nefarious thing she’s done is distract the grazing cows by lightly searing a tower.”
Coppelia swallowed her smoothie bun and bead.
“Mmh, I’m proud of her! It’s really hard to show restraint when you suddenly have a cool title like the Witch of Calamity. That ans she’s still holding out for sothing bigger!”
“There’s restraint and there’s lacking standards … why, she hasn’t even arranged that tower’s foundations into a cryptic ssage pronouncing her intentions to burn down my kingdom! That’s the very least of expectations.”
“True. I keep hoping to see a [teor] just randomly fall down. But I don’t hear any screaming anywhere. It’s terrible.”
“Indeed, she’s clearly allowing her new found powers to be an excuse for apathy. Frankly, that bodes poorly for the future. It’d simply be awful if each encounter with her was fated to beco less impressive each ti before she fled.”
I shook my head with regret.
“No … far better instead to end this on a good note. For her sake, of course.”
“Ooh! Are we going to try to keep Miss Racy Corset in one place this ti?”
“Indeed we will.” I placed my hand upon my chest and smiled. “Ohohoho … after all, it’s my duty as a princess to keep my kingdom tidy. And nothing is as threatening to my coming schedule as a loose thread. Therefore, this is simply a matter of spring cleaning before my return ho.”
Yes … it was ti to be efficient!
Although future was as kind and beautiful as present , even she needed a helping hand every now and again.
Once we’d passed Wirtzhaven, it wouldn’t be long before we were skirting the border with the Kingdom of Weinstadt and finding ourselves near Rolstein once more. By then, I’d practically be ho. And I certainly had no intention of leaving my orchard again for any reason other than to climb the steps to my bedroom.
“Our favourite mage was the first nuisance,” I said. “But she can also be the last. It is ti we offer Miss Marmalade Lainsfont all that I’ve promised. A place on an island where her magic can work to undo all the fires she has caused.”
Coppelia raised an arm.
“Question!”
“Go ahead.”
“What do we do about the fact she’s basically a magical eel? I an, she’s really slippery, what with the way she teleports everywhere. That’s not a thing most mages can do. At least not without losing their face in a chimney. And now she’s got the whole reincarnated aspect of calamity thing.”
I humd in thought.
True, this would hardly be an easy problem to resolve.
She clearly had her talents for magic. I experienced it first hand when she carried up several flights of stairs to a middling review. And now that she’d been granted additional powers, it ant our next eting promised to involve her greatest ability now being even stronger.
A cackling speech. Now so incredibly long winded that I had no idea how we’d handle staying conscious through it all.
… Fortunately, I also didn’t need to know!
That’s right! I was an unparalleled genius! And what I didn't know today I’d know tomorrow! My only goal was to indulge in leftover shortcake so I could place future in the best fra of mind!
“Ohohoho … you needn’t fear,” I declared confidently. “I shall simply offer a ans to calm the flas of her anguished soul. One way or another. Why, I’ve yet to offer her the balm of my angelic smile or the wide range of options she has available to her. Soap Island has expanded greatly. With additional roles beyond just soap making, I’m certain we can find sothing which will satisfy her.”
Thus–I smiled and turned.
“... Co, Coppelia! The shadows may have rescinded, but the flas still loom over the horizon! It is ti we offer Miss Marinara a graceful exit from the stage! For the sake of this fair kingdom and all the sleep I need to catch up on, we shall close the curtains on her tale of calamity!”
Coppelia raised her mixing bowl in joy.
“Got it! I’ll start making mailboxes while I look for magical ducks~!”
I nodded and smiled, happy she understood the intricacies of my plan.
After all, there were already more than enough calamities in my kingdom.
They were the mice dancing in the ceiling. The adventurers disturbing the cats from doing their jobs. The nobility who drank their fill of wine in my father’s court. And a harbinger of doom whose smile regularly caused more damage than any teor a mage could summon.
But for anything my smile couldn’t fix, I was certain a well written letter in a mailbox would do.
And if nothing else, well–
I leaned forwards and scooped up a hazardous smoothie bun.
There were things more dangerous than magical ducks or mailboxes I could punt at her.
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